Hunger for You (Shadow Shifters: Damaged Hearts) (10 page)

So much for not wanting to tell him too much. Between his earlier questions and now, Caleb Sanchez knew my entire life’s story. And I only knew his name.

He hugged me closer to him, kissing the top of my head. “Fitting in is not always the best path for everyone.”

So he hadn’t fit in either, that made me feel a little better. I still wanted to know more, wanted to press him until I had a picture of his high school years, his time growing up, and his parents. But Caleb’s breathing evened out as I thought of
things and my eyes grew heavier. I was more comfortable lying here in Caleb’s arms than I’d been in … all my life. I refused to let the unanswered questions in my head interrupt the longing of my heart.

So I tempered the curiosity and accepted the feelings that engulfed me. I enjoyed the guy I was with and the woodsy scent of his body, the softness of his sheets, the dark quiet of his home. And then I slept, deep and solid unlike I’d ever been able to do before. It was glorious and all was absolutely perfect in my world.

***

“Get up!” Caleb whispered into my ear. “Get up, go into the bathroom, and get dressed. Lock the door and do not open it until I come back.”

My hazy mind sifted through the words and I could only manage to respond with a grumble.

The response was answered by a not-so-gentle shake and Caleb’s lips pressed to my ear. “I need you to wake up, now, Zoe. Get into the bathroom and do what I told you. Right now!”

He was whispering but the urgency in his voice was coming through loud and clear. I opened my eyes to see the room around us was still dark, but I was no longer blissfully wrapped in Caleb’s arms. Instead he was kneeling on the bed, his hands cupping my face as he leaned in to talk quietly to me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, knowing instinctively that this was not the norm for new lovers. Waking me with soft heated kisses and asking me to join him in the shower, maybe, but not this.

“I need you to do what I said. Hurry!”

This time instead of waiting for my reply, Caleb pulled away. He lifted my shoulders off the bed until I was sitting up and then thrust clothes in my arms.

“In the bathroom and stay there until I come get you.”

He was off the bed in the next second, moving to where I had no clue because through my sleep-hazed mind and the dark of the room all I could make out was his shadow. He was moving fast and the tense energy of the room buzzed around me. I slipped off the bed, holding my clothes close to my chest and headed in the direction I remembered the bathroom was.

I was at the door when his hands were at my waist, his body pressed into the back of mine, his lips once again at my ear.

“Remember what I told you, Zoe,” he whispered.

“What? Oh, stay in the bathroom until you come get me.”

I could feel his head moving from side to side behind me.

“No,” he said with a quick sigh. “I will always protect you.”

And then he was gone and I slipped into the bathroom, turning the lock as soon as the door was closed behind me. I
hurriedly switched on the light and got dressed. Then I was back at the door again, pressing my ear right up against it, waiting to hear something, but not sure what. I should have brought my phone in here with me, should have brought something for a weapon, something I could use if the person that came back to this door wasn’t Caleb.

Heart beating wildly, I waited but heard nothing. Had he thought there was an intruder in his apartment? Was he going out to confront the person? Should I be calling the police instead of standing here wondering what the hell was going on?

The answer to the latter was a resounding yes and I unlocked the door and turned the knob.

Lights were still off and since this was my first night being in this apartment, I wasn’t 100 percent sure of where I was going or what might be in my way to make my presence known. So one hand was braced against the wall, sliding down as I limped slowly for a good ten feet before the wall ended. That would mean I was in the living/dining room area because as I recalled, the apartment only went in one direction. The bathroom and Caleb’s bedroom had been along this wall.

He was in this room. I couldn’t see him but I knew it, I felt it somewhere deep inside of me. It was as if our bodies were somehow connected now that we’d had sex. I reached for him without moving and waited to see if the feeling was
reciprocated. What I felt instead was an icy shiver snaking down my spine until my teeth actually chattered.

There was a sound to the left at that moment and I jerked my head in its direction, eyes open wide as if I thought that would make me see better. It didn’t. Another sound, and what happened next would forever be emblazoned in my memory.

Green and gold lights flashed through the darkness. Four circles of light moved so fast if I’d blinked I would surely have missed it. There was another sound like something smacking against a wall and then a horrific roar that felt like it was shaking the entire building.

I jumped back, a trembling hand to my throat as if that were going to help or somehow change whatever was happening around me. There was more thumping and other sounds that just weren’t humanly.

Don’t fuck with me, bitch! This is all your fault!

You heard what the human said.

Dex’s words rang in my ears and I shook my head, hoping to dislodge them somehow. This time the roar was so loud I immediately thought of being in a forest with killer animals and that was enough to get my butt in gear. I racked my brain for a memory of where the lights were in this place and moved fast, but still kind of unsure, trying to find the switch.

The knee of my good leg slammed into a table and I tumbled over it, landing on the floor with—well, what do you know—the lamp beneath me. Pushing the pain to the back of my mind, knowing I’d have to deal with it later, I felt all over the base of the lamp looking for a switch, finally finding one just beneath the bulb. When light flooded the room I rolled onto my back, crab-walking toward what, I had no idea. Wherever I was headed was far, far, away from the two big-ass cats that were across the room, coming up on their hind legs and trading blows with their front paws. It would have seemed like a regular street fight if they didn’t immediately fall back to the floor, the skin of their jaws inching back to reveal teeth sharper than any knife I’d ever seen.

Fear choked me so screaming wasn’t an option. Running wasn’t really a choice either since I’d backed myself into a corner and the only door that would take me out of here was behind the freakin’ cats! Get to the phone! That was another thought I had. In fact, I kind of chastised myself for not doing that in the first place. My cell phone was in Caleb’s bedroom. Caleb, who I did not see.

The fight continued and my eyes were drawn to the two big beasts, one almost completely black and the other golden and spotted. Their teeth were huge, as they bit and lunged for each other. Shaking fingers moved over my face to push back hair that
kept falling and blurring my vision. My chest heaved, breath coming out in quick pants. I couldn’t stay here. That was clear. I had no idea what was going on or why it was going on in a city apartment but that wasn’t the priority right now. Staying alive was.

One of the cats broke the only other table Caleb had in this room, glass from a sculpture I’d seen earlier scattered across the floor. My gaze fell to the floor with those broken pieces, then I shook myself free of that trance and noticed that the front door was no longer blocked. The cats were closer to the opposite wall now, actually a little closer to the corner where I’d barricaded myself.

I didn’t think, didn’t hesitate, just moved. Crawling across the floor because it seemed like the safest and less obvious route, I was going as fast as my feet could take me toward the door until I could reach up and finally grab the knob. The door opened, I slipped through, and was immediately in the bright hallway. Turning, I closed the door behind me for fear the cats would follow. They could easily break through a measly wooden door but it didn’t matter, I couldn’t think about that now.

Holding onto the wall I got to my feet and took a step, only to be reminded about the ankle pain.

“Dammit!” I screamed, because I so did not have time for this crap.

I hobbled, or did some combination of limping and running until I was in the bigger part of the hallway, smacking my hand urgently against the elevator buttons, begging, pleading for it to hurry up and come so I could get the hell out of here. When it did I darted inside, falling against the railed wall and quickly pressing the down button. Once the door closed I breathed a little easier, only to let out a choked cry.

Where was Caleb?

And what the hell was that in his apartment?

I didn’t know, and right now I could barely see past the tears clouding my eyes. When the elevator doors opened I took a deep breath and eased out. Crying wasn’t the answer. It wasn’t going to change anything. I had to think.

In seconds I was outside of Caleb’s apartment building, standing in the cool night breeze, one foot flat on the ground the other with only my toes touching the cement. I was leaning to the side, looking up and down the quiet street wondering what my next step would be. There were no cabs in sight and I didn’t have my phone to call … who would I call? Hanna, I thought quickly, I could call Hanna and she would come and get me.

If I had a freakin’ phone to call her with, my mind screamed. My hands were in my hair again as I tried to calm
down, tried to think above the thumping of my heart. I was looking but all I could see were parked cars, none driving by, no taxis, and no damned phone booth.

At the end of the street to the left there was a lamppost, its bright light burning my eyes. At the other end were more parked cars, including one raggedy old navy-blue one that looked a lot like … mine! With frantic hope I hobbled down to that car and almost wept with joy to see it was mine. Caleb must have doubled back to the bar to pick it up when he came out to get my stuff. Oh bless him, bless his kind and compassionate heart, wherever he was.

A tear fell onto my cheek and I hurriedly brushed it away as I moved toward the car again. Then I stopped. “Fuck!” I yelled as loud as I could. My purse was still upstairs in Caleb’s apartment. I dropped my head, my chin pressing into my chest as choked sobs wracked through me. I wanted to be optimistic, wanted to act and not react. I wanted to get the hell out of here before those cats came for me, or what if there were more? I just wanted to go, I needed to leave and I couldn’t! I was trapped, goddammit I was trapped here!

My hands shook as memories of hiding in the closet in the dark and feeling confined assaulted me. Mom’s husband had come into my bedroom, it had been his first time in there, the first time he’d planned to … He’d stood over my bed looking down
at me, waiting until I opened my eyes. At first I wasn’t going to because I’d heard him come in, I’d seen through the slits of my eyes as his big shadowed body had approached. I’d closed my eyes tight then and figured if I faked sleep he’d leave me alone. But then he stood there and stood there and I knew he wasn’t just going to go away, not until he finished what he’d come for, or I made him go. Those were the only two options. So I opened my eyes and he’d smiled. I wanted to puke.

He reached for me then, running his finger along the rim of my nightgown. I sucked in a breath just as his tongue had snaked out to run along his bottom lip. Act or react, I’d thought, now or never and never was going to be too damned late. So I acted. I balled my fist as tight as I could and I reached out, punching him right in the dick. He yowled and doubled over in pain and I ran, out of my room and down the stairs, down into the living room closet by the front door. I pushed past the old newspapers Mama liked to keep and huddled in the farthest corner hoping he wouldn’t come looking for me, praying he wouldn’t find me.

For hours I’d been trapped and fear had scraped along my skin like nails. I’d cried and cried and nothing had happened, the act alone hadn’t sent someone to rescue me, so I vowed not to cry again. Eventually I got up and came out of the closet. The pervert had left for work by then and I went about the day
as if nothing had happened. But something had and it had changed my life.

With a sharp inhale and resolution spreading through me like wildfire, I reached both hands up and pushed my hair back, looking around once more as I did. On a slow exhale of breath my arms fell to my sides, my right arm banging against something … something … I looked down at my legs, saw blood seeping through my jeans and then I saw a bulge, right at the top of my hip. With tentative movements I slid my hand into my pocket and almost screamed with relief.

When I’d left the bar earlier tonight with Dex I had my car keys in hand because I’d been intending to get in my car after our discussion and go home. When Dex had pulled me around the back of the bar instead, I’d stuffed my keys in my pocket so my hands would be free in case I’d had to fight back, which I did.

I was thanking every entity and higher being known as I pulled out the keys and moved around the car. Once inside another tear fell and I nudged it away with the back of my left hand while my right shoved the key into the ignition.

“Please start, you piece of crap. Please just start, goddammit, start!” I yelled as the engine sputtered and spit and then finally decided it would come to life one more time. I sighed and pulled off, not once looking back, not having the guts to.

Dex was dead.

I’d wanted to kill him, felt absolute power and retribution when the teeth of my cat had finally clamped down on his brain, crushing everything that he was and everything that he was meant to do.

I didn’t regret one second of what I’d done or the life I’d ended. That made me a murderer.

And Zoe had seen that. She’d seen the part of me I’d never wanted anyone to know about. Hell, it was the demon inside I’d vowed never to let out because I’d known what the repercussions would be.

All those years I’d been with the Sanchezes and we’d traveled the world talking to other Shadow Shifter tribes, learning their ways and making strides to keep a worldwide
peace, I’d done so out of necessity. I never believed in any of the bullshit, never wanted to live in their world, or the human one for that matter. How many times had I wondered why the humans hadn’t killed me that day I’d gone into their village looking for the one that had killed my mother? I’d wanted to die then, wanted desperately to stop breathing, stop living, stop seeing the trees and the flowers she’d loved so much. The scent of the rainforest clogged my lungs and the sound of her voice in my head threatened to drive me insane.