Hunter Derby: (Show Circuit Series -- Book 3) (29 page)

“And this occasion doesn’t merit?”

“That makes it sound like I’m not happy for Linda and Eamon. Or like I’m a buzz-kill. I just can’t quite get into things. It’s a stay-on-the-sidelines kind of night.”

“We’ve all had those kind of nights,” Zoe said.

John raised an eyebrow, implying that Zoe hadn’t had many.

“I have too,” she said.

John looked out over the room. Heather was now dancing with one of Eamon’s friends. Hannah was with Tiernan. It wasn’t a slow song but they were still dancing close, arms draped around each other.

“I think I’m gonna sneak out, actually,” John said.

“You’re going home?” Zoe hardly disguised her disappointment. She worried it was because she had danced with the Irish guy.

“Yeah, I’m just going to slip out. I’ll see Linda next week anyway. They’re only going to New York for two nights on their honeymoon.”

She wanted to convince him to stay but what could she say? That Linda would be sad if he left? Linda was having a great time and probably wouldn’t notice. The only reason he should stay would be if she told him she wanted him to stay.

“I’ll see you around,” John said.

Zoe looked back over the wedding crowd. She tried to remind herself of all the good things in her life. She wasn’t using drugs. Her life was relatively stable. She had a good job and enough money to pay her bills. She had horses to ride and show in Florida.

So why did it feel so wrong?

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

But if she let this moment go, she was worried she’d never get up the courage again.

The spikes of her heels kept plunging into the grass, slowing her progress. She kept having to stop and grab onto her heel to extract them. Her shoes would no doubt be ruined. But she hardly cared. All she cared about was John.

When she had to bend down and unstick one again she pulled it off instead. Off came the corresponding shoe. She left them in a haphazard pile and ran barefoot toward where the cars were parked.

The grass felt cool and thick on her bare feet. She felt like she was a kid going out to the barn barefoot in the evening to peek in on the horses.

She looked for the back of John’s car going down the driveway, thinking he might already be driving away. She was fully prepared to chase him down.

The driveway was empty. Her heart lurched. Was he already gone? Then she looked back at the cars parked on the grass and found him leaning against his car door, his head positioned so it looked like he was staring up at the sky.

What the hell was he doing?

She slowed to a walk, trying to figure it out. Maybe his car wouldn’t start? Maybe he had second thoughts about taking off so early?

Or maybe he was having the same thoughts about her that she was having about him. Maybe he too was kicking himself for not telling her how he really felt about her.

He noticed her, perhaps catching a glimpse of her blue dress. He cocked his head—now he was confused.

She spread her arms out to the side in the universal gesture of I’m-not-sure-what-the-hell-I’m-doing-either.

When she reached him, Zoe knew she had to be the one to speak first. “
Sweetie
?”

He smiled. “
Darling
?”

“I like us together. We’re good together.”

“You mean like as riders, or as people?”

“As people. Aren’t we good together?”

“I think we are,” John said. “We might even be fucking amazing.”

He stepped away from the car and kissed her like he’d been planning it for a long time, only waiting for the right moment. There was no hesitation, no slow-mo lean-in where you’re making sure the other person wants to be kissed before you commit.

So this was what it’s like
, Zoe thought, as they kissed. This was what it was like to kiss someone whom you felt seriously attracted to but also had a real connection with. It was like bringing two worlds together that had never intersected for her.

But something kept nagging at her. It was that night he’d turned her down.

She pulled away from him. “Wait, why did you turn me down that first time—the night we went out for drinks?”

“I didn’t want to be just any guy to you,” he said. “I wanted to be
the
guy for you.”

Hannah didn’t hook up with Tiernan, beyond a few impulsive kisses on the makeshift dance floor. She texted Zoe to find out where she’d gone and they planned to meet up later back at the hotel.

With Hannah sharing her hotel room and John living with his parents, all he and Zoe could do that night was mess around in his car in the far region of the hotel parking lot.

It was the next night, when Hannah had gone back to school, that they slept together.

She worried that after all the wild sex she’d had—most of it by no means good—John might be boring. She’d been with boring guys before and having a guy climb on top of you and basically pump away was okay for a one-night thing but she wanted more with John.

But she shouldn’t have worried about any of it, because the moment the door to the hotel room was shut, he was pulling her shirt over her head and leading her to the bed, all the while they were kissing frantically.

He was confident in his actions, but not arrogant, reactive to her responses. It felt good at first and then he changed the angle a little and it didn’t feel as good for her and he repositioned himself again.

They got it right and it felt good for both of them and they were both making noise.

“People are going to call downstairs and complain,” Zoe said.

“I don’t fucking care,” John said, between heavy breaths.

He smoothed her hair back around her face and they continued until it was over for both of them.

Zoe couldn’t stop smiling as they lay next to each other.

“That was amazing,” she said.

“Really? I’m not sure I did anything amazing for you. I mean give me time and maybe I can do amazing things.” John made a self-depreciating face. “Or not, I don’t know.”

“Trust me,” she promised. “It was amazing.”

Of course it was how they felt about each other, and what he
didn’t
do, that made it amazing.

For once Zoe didn’t find her head filled with the usual questions like,
will this only be a one-night thing, does he like me, and how can I get him to like me?

She knew John wanted to spend more nights—and more importantly days—with her.

“Come back east,” he said, as if he knew what she was thinking.

“What do you mean?”

“Come ride for me. I’ll buy only hunters from now on. You can show them and we can sell them.”

“Are you serious?” she asked. No guy had ever offered to change his life for her. Usually she was trying to figure out how to fit into the guy’s life.

“Yes, completely.”

“The money’s not in the hunters. It’s in the eq and the jumpers.”

“Okay, so we’ll do some hunters, and some jumpers and eq.”

“But I told Grant I’d go to Florida with them. Can I do that to Grant? Just leave him like I did to you?”

“No, you shouldn’t,” John said.

“So then what?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he said randomly.

“What?” Had any guy ever said he loved her or was falling in love with her? No, not even drunk and in the throes of climaxing. She was totally caught off guard. “How does that answer my question about Grant?”

“It doesn’t. Or maybe it does . . .”

She crossed her arms. “Can you stop speaking in riddles?”

“We’ll make this work. Maybe you work for Grant through Florida and then come back here in the spring.”

Zoe liked his optimism, his faith even though the future felt uncertain and the odds were probably stacked against them.

“What about Morgan and the bad stuff I’ve done? I mean when I told you about everything that happened in Florida you looked like you were freaked out.”

“I was a little freaked out but that was before I got to know you. Shit happens. Shit happens that you didn’t really want to happen or plan for it to happen. I think I’m okay with letting your past be in the past.”

“Okay,” she said, still a little tentatively.

“Okay—what are you saying okay to?”

“Okay to making it work.”

“What about the part where I said the love thing—not sure I should repeat that. Too much, too soon, too crazy?”

There was so much she’d done in her life that had been too much, too soon, too crazy but John was the first guy she’d been with that made her feel good about herself and the person she could be. Wasn’t that what finding the right person could do—make you your best self?

“I think I’m falling in love with you too,” she said.

T H E • E N D

KIM ABLON WHITNEY
lives with her husband and three children in Newton, Massachusetts. In addition to writing fiction, she is a USEF ‘R’ judge in hunters, equitation, and jumpers and has officiated at the Washington International Horse Show Junior Equitation Finals, the Capital Challenge, the Winter Equestrian Festival, Lake Placid, and the Vermont Summer Festival. She also runs the blog
Below the Cutoff: A Look at the Horse Show Life
.

Keep in touch with Kim on
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www.kimablonwhitney.com
and the blog www.belowthecutoff.com.

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