Hushed (24 page)

Friday, April 22
^nd

Even after all those months, Evan still couldn’t get the look of Archer’s face, staring at his dead mother, out of his head.

Everything had moved so fast. Archer collapsing, trying to reach for her. Whatever fragile thread that’d been holding him together after everything he’d been through seemed to snap, and it was all Evan could do to grab him, hold him, keep him there while he called the police. Trying desperately not to let Archer do something stupid like touch the body and get his fingerprints everywhere.

The paramedics got there first. He couldn’t get Archer to stop sobbing and screaming; the EMTs got a needle in him, sedating him before he could hurt himself or someone else. All the while, Evan kept thinking…
Please, God,
don’t let them think he did this.

They didn’t. The timing was too perfect. The bullet in Mrs. Pond’s head matched the gun Vivian had used on Mickey, on Archer, on herself.

After that they took Archer to a place called Carriage Oaks, and Evan asked them to keep him as long as they legally could. Not because he wanted to leave him, not because he thought Archer was crazy, but because…

He couldn’t help. He was useless, and he knew it. Archer needed something more than
him.

For the first two months, Archer didn’t speak to anyone. He stared at the walls, the ceiling, out the windows. Unmoving, silent. Only when Evan visited did he show any signs of life. Even then his responses were distant at best.

“She told me she had done something to prove she loved me more,” Archer had murmured at one point, not looking at him, his voice so painfully soft it broke Evan’s heart all over again. “I promised Mom I would never hurt her, would never let anyone hurt her, but this happened because of me. Vivian said it. She said,
you’ll see for yourself
…and it kept bothering me. She said it,
you’ll see for yourself…”

No amount of reassuring him it wasn’t his fault seemed to help. When he tried, Archer stopped talking altogether. It was better to keep quiet, to let him speak when he wanted to speak.

“…I was supposed to keep her safe. I can’t keep anyone safe.” He bowed his head, fingers laced behind his neck. Curling in on himself like he might shake to pieces if he didn’t.

Other than him, Dr. Deb was the only person Archer would talk to in the entire place. She was a pretty lady with long blonde hair. Evan thought it was because she reminded him of Vivian’s mother.

She was the one who led Evan through the building, making small talk. Asking how he was, if he was looking forward to summer. Little things. Things she asked him every time she saw him. The weather was nice enough that Archer was outside, and Dr. Deb stopped Evan just inside the double doors at the end of the hall. An orderly shuffled by, and she purposely didn’t speak until he had disappeared down the corner.

“I just thought you should know,” she said softly, “he told me.”

Immediately, a knot formed in Evan’s chest. But he smiled his best good-boy smile, the one he’d perfected in the past months. The one he gave to everyone who talked to him about Vivian and Archer, and he knew he’d better gear up to remember their story. The lies he would have to remember for the rest of his life.

“Told you what?”

“Everything.” She paused, watched him.

The smile faltered and slipped right off his face.

“Okay.” What else did he say to that?

“I knew he wasn’t telling me everything, and if he wants to leave, he needs to be completely honest with
someone.
”

Evan nodded slowly, but still kept his silence. Waiting for her to get to the point.

“Archer will never be normal. If he leaves here with you, I sincerely hope you’re ready for all the complications that come with it. That’s all I wanted to say.” She shrugged, reached out and pushed the door, holding it open for him.

“Trust me, I know.” How could he not? Evan had a feeling even the dear doctor had no idea what went through Archer’s head sometimes. The bad days where Archer spent his visits with his head in Evan’s lap, too wracked with guilt over his mother’s death to speak.

Even if he were in for a lifetime of that, Evan was ready for it.

Managing a weak smile and a nod, he stepped outside and into the cool spring afternoon.

“And, Mr. Bishop?”

He looked back.

Dr. Deb lifted a hand, shielding her eyes from the glare of the sun. “If you’re worried about what he told me…don’t be. It’s all doctor-patient confidentiality. His honesty is a start, but he’s got a long way to go. I won’t be signing those release papers until Archer’s ready. Understand?”

“Yes. Thank you.” And he meant it.

The door fell shut. He let out a puff of air, the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and the tension in his shoulders went with it.

It was nice being able to look forward to his visits. In the beginning, Archer had made a scene whenever he tried to leave. Panicking, grabbing hold of Evan’s hand and begging him to stay. After those first two months wherein Archer dropped weight, hardly spoke and hardly slept, something seemed to
click
in his brain. It had been after Dr. Deb started working with him that he began improving. She’d taken one look at Archer’s tantrum when Evan tried to leave one day and said, “He’s not coming back until you start cooperating.”

It’d been hell, staying away for three weeks until Archer was permitted to call him, and Archer asked, hesitant, quiet, “Will you come see me?”

And he had. Of course he had.

After that, things slowly got better. Archer started talking. Stopped fighting everyone and everything.

God, it seemed like forever ago, though. Now, when Evan approached the spot where Archer had sprawled out in the grass with a book, barefoot, in a t-shirt and jeans, Evan thought he looked more normal than he had in…ever.

He plopped down to the grass beside him, leaning over, whispering, “Don’t tell my boyfriend I said this…but you sure are pretty.”

Archer smacked him in the leg with his book and brought it back up to his face, not missing a beat. After a minute, though, he lowered it, peering over the top, only his pale eyes visible. “I didn’t expect to see you today.”

“Thought I’d surprise you.” Evan leaned over him, tugging the book away so he could see his face properly. He definitely seemed to be gaining back some of that lost weight, but there were still dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t been sleeping much.

Archer pursed his lips, thoughtful. “Dr. Deb said I’m doing well. Might be able to go home soon.”

They both knew better. Archer had buried too many secrets—done too many things—to get out of here anytime soon. Though, maybe
soon
was his way of reassuring Evan, letting him know an end was in sight.
“Wait for me a little longer,
” Archer had told him more than once.

Like Evan was going
any
where after all they’d been through.

Archer watched him, almost waiting for him to deny it. But Evan would just keep playing along, even when weeks turned to months to a year or however long it took. He would wait.

They hadn’t spoken about what would happen when Dr. Deb signed those release papers. Evan didn’t see a point. As far as he was concerned, the decision had already been made. “I move into our new place at the end of the month.”

Archer’s expression softened and smoothed. One corner of his mouth twitched up. “Try not to make too much of a mess before I’m there to keep it clean.”

“Oh, man. Dirty laundry and dishes
everywhere.
” He grinned wide, bowing down until their lips touched. Archer caught him by the back of the neck, holding him there. When they finally parted, it wasn’t by much and Evan smiled against his mouth. “Not much longer,” he whispered. “And then we have places to go, people to see, whales to watch.”

Archer gave a soft, breathless sound not unlike a laugh. “Whales.”

The smile on Archer’s face was so infectious. He’d missed those smiles. To hell with all the people who thought Archer was a cold, unfeeling person; he felt more,
loved
more, than anyone Evan had ever known. “Yep. And dolphins.”

“Are we really?”

“Why not? We could use the vacation. You wanted to take them there, right? Your mom and Vivian?”

A brief look of pain crossed Archer’s face. It was no longer crippling, no longer rendering him incapable of even saying their names, but still present. Evan didn’t think it would ever really go away.

“I’m pretty sure spreading ashes over open water like that is illegal,” Archer said.

He rolled his eyes and shrugged. “You know, added to our current list of offenses, I don’t think it’s that big a deal.”

Archer’s eyes fell half-closed. “I’d like to, then. If it’s the last thing I can do for them…”

“Then we’ll make it happen. Me and you both. Whenever you’re ready.” Evan leaned down until their foreheads touched, refusing to break eye contact. “Stop thinking you’re alone in any of this.”

“You know, I won’t always be like this,” Archer murmured. “I’ll get out of here, and things will be how they should be. Better than before.”

“I know it. And I’ll be here, waiting for you.” Evan squeezed Archer’s hand, held his gaze until he was certain Archer got his meaning. Finally, Evan stole another kiss, grinned, then dragged Archer to his feet. “Now let’s go grab some lunch. You look like you could use some meat on those bones.”

Acknowledgements

This is the part where I thank my childhood heroes for spawning the chaotic hole that is my imagination, right? In that case, thank you to Saturday morning cartoons, an abundance of terribly dubbed anime, and video games.

In all seriousness…

The biggest thank-you goes to my wife. My muses are not complete without her, and I would have given up on the idea of HUSHED ever making it into print had she not given me the encouraging kick-to-the-rear I needed to sub to Entangled Publishing. You, my darling, are my inspiration. I suppose this entire book is dedicated to you because you do seem to love my sad, broken boys.

Thank you to everyone at Entangled Publishing. Without their infinite patience, talent and support, HUSHED would still be a document sitting on my computer.

Heather, who plucked my query out of the slush pile and patiently (not-so-patiently?) awaited me to send in the manuscript.

Liz, my editor, an absolute darling who made the editing process painless and a hell of a lot of fun while managing to keep up with my endless questions along the way.

And my rockstar, Christa, for being the best cheerleader and reassuring me I’m not as socially awkward and incapable as I sometimes think I am.

And Stacey, for stepping in for more hand-holding, and boosting my confidence with her enthusiasm and excitement.

To my YAtopia peeps, for jumping up and down with me to all the good news. Especially other-Kelley, my crit partner, who has seen me through many stories now and never fails to boost my spirits when I need it.

To my family, even if they weren’t allowed to read the book until it was
done done done
and it drove them crazy. Thanks for suffering on my behalf, guys.

And to my readers: I’m grateful to every one of you. I sincerely hope I’ve given you a story worth loving.

About the author

Kelley was born and raised in central California, where she still resides with her lovely wife, daughter, and an abundance of pets. She dreams about moving to Ireland, has a fascination with bells and snow globes, and adores all things furry—be them squeaky, barky, or meow-y. Her non-writing time is spent playing video games or visiting cemeteries and taking lots and lots of pictures.

You can visit Kelley on the web at http://www.kelley-york.com.

Stay tuned for a free teaser of

Melanie Card’s darkly humorous Young Adult novel, WARD AGAINST DEATH

Chronicles of a Reluctant Necromancer…

Twenty-year-old Ward de’Ath expected this to be a simple job—bring a nobleman’s daughter back from the dead for fifteen minutes, let her family say good-bye, and launch his fledgling career as a necromancer. Goddess knows he can’t be a surgeon—the Quayestri already branded him a criminal for trying—so bringing people back from the dead it is.

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