i 024767349a4cae9a (18 page)

"It wouldn't matter where it as spent, even in Bog's End, as long as I was with j bar hn."

This had caused a great laugh between them ,;; Bog's End was known as the lowest part of Pelln and ruled by the riff-raff.

It was half-past seven in the evening. John came through the communicating door from the annexe to meet his wife in the hall. Her face was straight, her tone tart. "Why must you always go next door before you come home?"' she demanded.

less-than thought it was all my home." His voice was weary.

'Don't be silly. You know what I mean, the meal's been waiting since half-past six."

"And don't you be silly, either, Beatrice,"

he said in a sharp tone. "You know I've told you again and again that I can't walk out and leave a full surgery if the old man is not able to do it."

"You have an assistant."

"Well, the assistant's surgery was full, too. And what's more, I had a call."

Saying, "Calls. Calls," she led the way now to the dining-room. He did not follow her, but said, "Would you allow me to go into the cloakroom first?"'

After washing his hands he gazed at his reflection in te mirror. His face had changed over the past eigh-laionths, he told himself. Had he been married bar bar uy eighteen months? It seemed like eighteen , at least, the last year had. The first six months j bar been enjoyable... well, up to a point. He had bar ight he knew it all; at least about sex and marJl He dealt with the effects of it every day. But dn't experienced his own. During the first few s, he had to admit, he had been nattered by her ttant desire of him; then it had become a little iang, finally wearisome; sometimes he would deJI-BE her as ravenous. He knew now that she had jaily inherited her father's trait; the one that had o his death.

Smally, he had turned on her and said, "No more. ore tonight. I'm...I'm a tired man. I do a ve-hour day, and I can't keep this up."

fSe could see her now, her face a beetroot red, and faad jumped out of the bed and walked the floor bar to like he had got up and calmed her down, imploring, **tilde fy to understand there's moderation in everything,"

3ile at the same time thinking how awful it was ing to say this to a woman, and she his wife. But was ting him up and now blaming him because hadn't given her a child. He had often thought, shly, that her antics should have produced litters just one or two. He daren't te her that he hadn't disne straight from work that night, but had called in

Jloor to see Annie who, like his mother, was be trouble with arthritis; although not in her state, that extent. But Annie had found of late that d great pain in her left arm from her shoulder ards and it had put a stop to some of her hard

* Luckily, Rosie was proving a

marvellous

helper. He had never seen Rosie looking so happy well, not exactly happy, that girl would never really feel happy again unless she were to realise how Robbie felt about her. But she loved being in that house. Sometimes he did not see her for a week or more because when she came in she generally went straight up to her room, and he was either in his office working, or with his mother... and Beatrice. That was another thing, Beatrice hardly ever allowed him to be alone with his mother. And what was also beginning to trouble him now was the fact that his mother was seeing another side to her daughter-in-law. Only yesterday she had said to him, hings aren't right, are they?"' and he had answered, "Oh, just the usual marriage pains,"

to which she had replied, She's changed... changed in all ways. I've never seen her like this."

'ationo, of course you haven't, Mother, because you didn't know her before you came here." He could have enlarged on this by adding, "You first met her just when she was setting her trap," for he knew now from his inner knowledge of his wife that she had worked up to that proposal.

Oh, yes, it was quite clear to him now. Still, it was done and the hing to do was to make the best of a bad job. Life must go on.

At this moment he was asking himself, "But how was it to go on like this?"' for he was feeling angry inside...

They were halfway through the meal when n looked across at her and said "Why couldn't you tell me that Helen had moved back here?"'

He watched her gulp on her food before she an-si ed, "Because I didn't think it would be of any ('est to you."

l bar tot that your sister had come to live here again, could call?"' he won't call."

disfo, I suppose not, knowing the welcome she that."

Aay I ask how you've just found out? You must bar fc been over to the piggeries and talked with Ro jKf.

Ipes, I called in to see my friends... and Rosie, ,m I haven't seen for over a week, informed me I she had told you about Mrs Sylvia Davison selli Col Mount and that Helen and Leonard were buy-

,f"

Jpen can you tell me why she has bought it when Was ordered to Switzerland, from which one could e assumed that he had consumption or some such, . surely this end of the country is no help to a j bar sumptive? Answer me that: why did she buy it?"'

"You had better ask her when you see her, or at

3st I will."

bar bar You won't!" She had half risen from her chair.

bar out wont go and visit them."

(Iw-hy not?"'

He'd really had no intention of visiting them; the ought of seeing Helen again would be too much.

H he had said, 'She is my sister-in-law, and I liked

rionard very much. Out of courtesy we should visit y233 we could go together."

bar lShe banged down her knife and fork on me dis* her lips hardly moved as the words came through.

"You know how I feel about Helen, so don't you dare i suggest that I... that we visit them."

He was on his feet now, his anger showing, as he cried at her, "Don't you dare tell me what I can or cannot do. I intend to visit them, so get that into your head, and anyone else I wish to see, when and where I like. Ive had enough of your niggling. I think that the less we see of each other for the time being, the better. So from now on I'll make it my bsiness to sleep in the guest room..."

Before he could finish she was round the table, crying at him, Oh no! No, you won't! You won't show me p in front of the staff." But then her commanding voice changed to a plea as she said, 'Please John, don't do that. Don't do that to me. I promise you, I... I won't be..." She drooped her head; she could not put a word to the demands she made on him, that feeling that consumed her, that made her want to bury herself in him, possess him, make him hers alone. Oh, yes, hers alone.

Even his feelings for his mother were intruding into her emotions now; he spent too much time with his mother. If she wasn't careful she would come to dislike her.

He put out his hand and touched her shoulder, saying, All right, all right. Don't get upset.

We'll see. Just leave it. I'm...I'm going into the office; I've got some work to do now.

"Please! Please finish your dinner."

"No, I can't. I'm not really hungry.

Ask Frances to bring a cup of coffee in to me."

She bowed her head again and stood still, and he walked past her and out of the room.

In his office he sat staring down at the neat array

i pads, papers, penils, pens and ink, everything in place and a place for everything He closed his fes, put his ebows on the table and leant his head a his hand. Helen in Col Mount, not twenty minutes

"ay

H His elbow seemed to slide away from him and his Jad came up with a jerk as he asked himself, What Ference does it make? She's married, I'm married Id don't forget she's married to... a lovely man. He jdiuld hear her voice saying it. And who was he marlied to? A termagant, and an obsessive one, and an igma: she was two or more persons-the housewife which she acted the madam; and at times the talktive, pleasant young companion, a facet of her charSter which had disappeared long ago into the hungry, iassionate even indecent creature of the night, rav-Js at times.

be wanted love, he wanted bodily

satisfaction, but was a limit. He couldnt imagine that this feelad been inspired in her just by marriage; and yet I had no man before himself.

He'd heard of such , comen but had never thought to experience me efj bar fects of one. He wished he could talk to someone Iibout it. But he couldn't imagine himself bringing up y"...ence subject with Comwallis. It must surely be an inerited trait one which led back to her father. j bar But Helen was back and into his mind too and he ould see himself sitting with her on the top of Craig Ior, and her pointing across the valley to her friend's bar Aouse.

And the sad thing about it then was that they I: had both been aware they had met too late, just a little I too late. bar bar He raised his eyes to the ceiling when he heard to

muted footsteps going across the floor. She was in the bedroom. He rose quickly and went quietly out, trough the hal, down the long corridor and into the annexe.

His mother was in bed. He tapped on the bedroom door, caffing, All right?"'

'allyes, all right dear. Come in."

Caherine looked at her son and said, "Been getting it in the neck again?"'

He puled up a chair to the side of the bed as he said "Sort of."

She stared at him and watched his head droop, and then she said softly, "Would you like to talk about it?

The's something happening and I can't get to te bottom of it."

He lifted his head quickly and looked at her.

Ys, Yes, he'd like to talk about it And he could talk to her: she was a wis woman was his mother. He aske quietly, "Have you heard of or had any experience of knowing women who are... well, very highly sexed?"'

He watched her eyes become hooded, and then se said, "I was right then."

What d'you mean?"'

'I guessed it was something like that. Oh yes, lad, I've heard of women who can eat a man alive.

Yet, when you see them during the day they are so pi tat you'd tink butter wouldn't melt in their mouths.

It's only when someone speaks about it mat you learn o these things. It's natural with some men; but when it's a woman I understand it's worse. You might not believe it but your Aunt Ada's sister-in-law was o such. He had to leave her. I suppose you could say it's not really their fault, it's the way they're made."

There was a long pause before he nodded.

And it's odd' comher head was wagging now- it's enerally the quiet ones, the demure ones that turn ye like that. Under other circumstances they would ikely be on the streets... as prostitutes."

Oh, Mother!"

"Now don't say it like that son, but it's true.

D'you Bmember Farmer Braithwaite, and how everybody ondemned him because he walked out and left his "oor little wife with the farm and three children? ell, he had something on his side as well, he told fm father all about it. His work and everything else lad suffered because of her."

"Mrs Braithwaite?"' His eyes were wide.

Yes. Mrs Braithwaite."

his He looked to the side. She had been a smallish iman, not unlike Beatrice in figure and ways; a tousewife, bossy. The things you knew and the things taa didn't know.

'I would sleep in another room for a time."

I told her that, but she got into a state."

'Well, it might calm her down. She should be takag a sedative, you know, one to knock her asleep."

" can't see that ever happening."

"No, nor can I wim her."

You know, I thought the world of her at first. But here you are, you don't know people until you live itfa them closely."

She put her hand out. 'I'm sorry, son."

He stood up and went to the window and looked Kit into me twilight as he said "Helen has come to we at Col Mount and she knew it and never told Be1 got it from Rosie."

"So did I."

He swung round and looked at her. "You knew?"'

"Yes. Yes, I knew, and I also know other things, so I thought the less you knew, the better for your peace of mind."

Oh, Mother!" He sat down again. And as he muttered something, she repeated it, 'allyes, it's a hell of a life, but it's got to be lived, and you've got to put your foot down. Move to that other room."

"No," he shook his head. "I can't do that yet. She was in a state."

"Well, it's up to you. But looking at you now, I think what you need most is sleep. So, give me a kiss and get yourself away."

He kissed her and they held on to each other for a moment. Then he turned and went out and back into his office.

It was after twelve when he went upstairs. She was lying on her side and she appeared to be asleep.

And when he lay down beside her she did not turn towards him. And he sighed a deep sigh, but it was some time before sleep overtook him and gave him enough rest to face another day.

bar rather the past two days John had been attending a Jrse of lectures at a London hospital, and he had jtt left Trafalgar Square and was walking towards j bar ent Street when a figure he had noticed darting jtween two cabs came to a breathless stop in front im and gasped, "I..eaI thought it was you, but I n't sure."

John saw a tall, well-dressed, tanned young man, . d for a moment he did not recall who he was, until bar bar every young man added

"You're a long way from Pellam. I never expected to see anyone from there down jlie, and...and it's my last day. Well, I leave tomor-p Until that moment John had been unable to recall jilbo the man was. And then me name hit him. This ts Teddy, Rosie's Teddy; Edward Golding, whom Jlle had first met at the garden party, on Beatrice's pwenty-first birthday.

But this wasn't the Teddy who Pd ruined Rosie's life. He had changed. The other 3eddy had been more like his name; young, very bar 3oung. This one was a mature man And now he was being asked if everything was all right back in Fellbum. And he answered stiffly, Yes; when I left three days ago, things were much as usual.

His voice low and his face now unsmiling, the young man said, 'How is Rosie?"'

The nerve of the fellow, to ask how Rosie was; so he answered bluntly, "She's very well and apparently enjoying her work."

"Rosie working? Is she better then?"'

John put his head to one side, saying,