I Am Forever (What Kills Me) (7 page)

“Of course, of course.”

Lucas took my hand and I slid off the table. The doctor kept his head bowed while we put our shoes back on. As the door closed behind us, I could smell and hear him showering the room with bleach.

“I can’t believe I broke all of his stuff,” I said as Uther led us back to my room. “I’m such a freak.”

“I don’t think you should worry about being the odd one,” Lucas said.

We looked at each other and I laughed. “How can a vampire be afraid of germs? It’s not like he’s going to get a virus and die.”

“Maybe Axelia germs, like the lady, are extra strong,” Lucas teased.

“The maids cleaned under my fingernails and behind my ears. There are no such germs left to speak of. Did you ever see the doctor when you were living with the Monarchy?”

“The weapons makers saw a different doctor. We definitely did not see the palace doctor or have anyone bathe us.”

“That was awkward for me, all right?”

“I’m sure you hated every moment.”

We fell back a few yards behind Uther. “Hey, I was touched in places that are only reserved for my future husband.”

He smiled. “And who would marry someone who lets herself be bathed like a baby?”

I clicked my tongue. “You’re such a jerk.”

“Actually, I’m not. Remember? I stopped you from cutting your wrist earlier.”

“Please, you just stopped me because you were afraid of feeling the pain yourself.”

“Mmm—you should have seen the terror in your eyes.”

“You don’t think I could deal with a little prick?” I jabbed him in the shoulder with my finger.

“What did you just say?”

Grinning, he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. With a laugh I feigned losing my balance and fell against him. He put his hands on my waist to steady me and I leaned on his chest, wanting to be held. His eyes traced my face and then something changed. A flicker of darkness. A moment of doubt perhaps. It was as if being happy reminded him instantly of sorrow. Was it because of how many loved ones he had lost?

His hands slowly slid from my body and his smile faded. He stepped away from me and moved ahead to catch up with Uther.

“Lucas?”

“Hmm?”

I wanted to tell him about my conversation with the Empress but I lost my nerve. “This whole god thing is absurd,” he had said. Did he think it was absurd because I, a goofy, sheltered high-school student, could never live up to that role?

Maybe I was afraid that he was right. “I...uh, never mind.”

“My lady,” Uther said as we walked into my living quarters, “let me introduce you to Dresser Pavone. She will help clothe you.”

A vampire strode into the room in a short black-leather jacket and a plum, floor-length chiffon skirt with a thigh-high slit.
Whoa. Motorcycle club on top. Ballroom on the bottom.
She was about Lucas’s height, maybe about six feet tall. Her black hair was pulled into a perfect chignon, and a band of makeup painted across her eyes made it seem as if she was blindfolded with blue ribbon.

“My lady,” she said in a rich baritone.

My dresser was male, a beautiful male in drag.

“Hi,” I said.

“I,” she said, pausing and putting her hand to her chest, “am the dresser Pavone.”

She had on brown-leather finger gloves, so it looked like she had dipped only half of her hands in chocolate.

“I’m Axelia.”

“It is my most extreme honor, my lady, to be at your service.”

She held her dress out like a fan and curtsied. As a trio of maids flitted by her, she swept her skirt theatrically like a bullfighter with a cape.

“It is my sole duty to ensure that you look gorgeous,” she said. “What do you like to wear?”

The maids stretched tape measures across my chest and around my waist. Lucas and Uther both sank onto a couch.

“Uh, I’ve never been one to obsess over style.”

“Style, I’m happy say, is my only obsession. Do you have favorite fabrics?”

“It’s super cold where I’m from, so the warmer the better.”

“And how about colors?”

“Anything, really. I love bright colors.”

“Marvelous! Me too,” she said with one raised eyebrow. “Vampires tend to dress as if they are going to funerals. Black, black, and mind-numbingly boring!”

I was grinning so hard that my cheeks ached.

“My my my, you’re tiny,” she said. She put her hands on her hips and pointed her elbows at me. “With your golden complexion and your gorgeous black hair, my lady, you will be stunning in anything. But let’s do 10-33, 44-38 and 98-10.”

What is she talking about? She’s like a quarterback calling out plays.

A maid beetled from the room. I heard her sliding hangers across a rod down the hall. She returned with three dresses.

“No!” Pavone said, backhanding the air. “I said 44-38.”

The maid started to leave. “No, just stay here.” Pavone forced a strained smile. “Let’s try 98-10.”

The maid pulled the lacy, lemon-yellow dress off its hanger, unzipped the back, and formed a wall in front of me.

“Gentlemen, privacy please!” Pavone said.

Uther smoothed his robe and walked out of the room. Lucas sighed, stood, and turned around to face the wall.

One of the maids pulled my clothing over my head. I steadied myself on another maid’s shoulder as the third helped me step into the dress.

“Hair,” Pavone said. A maid released my hair from its messy bun and ran her fingers through it; meanwhile, another dusted my face with a brush and then daubed at my cheeks and lips with a sponge.

Pavone put her gloved fingers on my bare shoulders and turned me to face a standing mirror.
Oh wow.
I smoothed the lace over my abdomen; the strapless bodice had a sweetheart neckline with scalloped edges. I turned slightly to look at the bustle on my dress. The layers of fabric made my butt look enormous.

Is this what the Divine should look like?
I didn’t feel strong or powerful. I felt like I was going to a costume party as a Disney princess.

“Aren’t you just divine?” Pavone said. She grinned, revealing two rows of perfect teeth. Lucas came to stand beside her.

“So? What do you think?” I asked.

He looked me up and down. “You look like one of those yellow rubber ducks.”

I coughed out a laugh but Pavone gasped.
Great. I’m Quackula.

“How dare you?!” Pavone exclaimed. “She looks resplendent. Don’t pay any heed to that appalling comment, my lady.”

“Don’t worry, Pavone. It’s like water off a duck’s back,” I said, giving Lucas the evil eye.

“Do you like it, my lady?”

“It’s...very...bright. Very lovely. Thank you.”

The maids wedged my feet into navy satin pumps.

“And what ensemble would be complete without glitter?”

Pavone waved her hand over a wooden case like a magician, and the maid opened it to reveal a yellow tear-drop diamond the size of a small egg.

“Oh my goodness,” I said. “That’s incredible.”

“From the Empress’s collection. It’s the largest yellow diamond in the world,” she said as a maid strung it around my neck on a chain of diamonds.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It barely matches my lady’s brilliance,” Pavone said with a deep bow.

“My lady!” Uther exclaimed from the doorway. “You look truly wonderful.”

“Thanks. Uh, are we going to a party, Uther?”

“No my lady. We’re going to see something special.”

I took a few wobbly steps in my four-inch heels.

“Don’t you dare say anything about my waddle!” I pointed my finger in Lucas’s face. He raised his hands in surrender. I followed Uther gingerly out of the room.

Great. The Divine waddles. I wonder if they put me in these to make it harder for me to run away.

The Empress was waiting for me in the same room with the screen showing the multiple videos. I didn’t have the stomach to see any more of those images. Luckily, the screen was turned off.

“The doctor informed me that you are well, and I see that the dresser has paid you a visit,” she said.

I shifted self-consciously and tried to clasp my hands behind my back, but they got lost in my bustle. “Yes, thank you. The necklace is stunning.”

“Everything the Monarchy has is yours, my lady.”

She leaned over the table and pressed a button on a remote control. With a whirr the screen began to part and a laser of light broke through the darkness; the two halves of the screen slid into the wall to reveal a glass pane.

“Come,” she said. “I want you to see what belongs to you.”

I circled the table and walked up to the window.

Wow.

I peered down at levels upon levels, like bookshelves, teeming with vampires. It looked like a circular mall with open walkways and staircases connecting each floor. The bottom floor was maybe twenty stories down.

“My lady, this is the Acropolis. All of the Monarchy’s needs are served here.”

I pressed my nose to the glass. It reminded me of the packed throngs in Taipei, but without the chaos. The vampires moved like ants on a branch, in single file. Against the white architecture I could identify groups by their clothing. The blue robes of the clerics. The black gear of soldiers. The beige dresses of the maids. There were others—white lab coats, business suits—and a smattering of glittery gowns.

So many vampires. Thousands maybe.
That’s a lot of mouths to feed.

“Would you like to see it?” she asked.

“Yes. Very much.”

Outside the door Uther and Lucas were waiting with a line of vampires.

“Your Highness,” Uther said. “And my lady.”

Uther put his hand out and three female vampires stepped forward. Their dark mohawks sprayed upward, and braids clung to either sides of their scalps like centipedes. Armor made of silver scales hugged their curves. Black guns were holstered to their thighs, and they carried swords strapped to their backs.

“My lady, these are your guards. They will be by your side at all times.”

None of them looked at me. Just stared ahead at the space in between me and the Empress.

“Let us go for a walk, shall we?” the Empress said.

Worried that I wouldn’t appear very god-like to the vampires, I straightened my back and tried to emulate the Empress’s posture as we walked.

Everywhere we went the vampires parted and bowed. The crowds undulated like the sea. It looked as if the vampires were almost cowering, with their hunched shoulders and hidden faces. I was no longer sure if the soldiers were protecting them from me or me from them. My nervousness faded when I realized that no one was looking at me. Everyone averted their eyes as if I was Medusa.

I glanced back at Lucas. My guards had cut him off with a haughty toss of their heads and formed a fence between us. Over their shoulders I watched him scan the masses, unhappy dents forming in between his brows.

The Acropolis smelled musty, like a dank basement. This far underground there wouldn’t be fresh air. In that moment I felt claustrophobic.

Our procession moved under an arch into a massive open area. This giant concrete box reeked of leather and blood. On one side, rows of soldiers perched atop poles, their arms outstretched, their hand balancing metal weights. They stood so perfectly still that they looked like part of the architecture, like a line of fencing.