I Am Yours (Heartbeat #3) (4 page)

Chapter Eight
Adam

My muscles tense when I see the sheer hatred in Jada’s gaze. She looks terrible. Her hair is flying wildly around her face and her eyes are no more than slits she can barely keep open. A surge of anger flows through me. Way to go, Brian, for messing with the one solid person in my life.

“Jada, get in.” I’m not about to brook any opposition. I mean business.

“Fuck no.” She pounds her fist loudly against the dash.

“I said, get in.” I keep the Neon cruising alongside of her, but I’m irritated now.

“Adam, back off, would ya?” Brian jogs up to Jada from behind, placing his arm around her shoulders. And that’s when I see red.

Throwing the gear shift into park, I hurtle myself out of the car. Running toward my brother, I dig my fingers into the back of his shirt. “Get your hands off her.” He whips around, ready for any excuse to release his pent-up frustration. He’s wanted to beat the crap out of me for months. Why not give him the opportunity he’s been waiting for?

Before Brian has a chance to issue the first punch, Jada yells out, “Just stop it, the two of you! I’m not the prize you’re fighting over anyway.”

Brian hesitates, breathing heavily. I take that as my cue to put some distance between us. He’s still getting married in the morning. It’d be a shame if we both turned up black and blue. Besides, how would we explain it to our parents? They think we’re as tight as ever.

Jada stalks closer, scrutinizing me. She raises a hand to my face, running a finger lightly across my jaw. She laughs but there’s no humor to it. “Oh, Adam. You’re killing me, you know that?”

“What’s so funny?” I’ve never seen her so uninhibited before. Her behavior is freaking me out actually.

“You have lipstick on your cheek.” She giggles uncontrollably, like I’m a world-class schmuck. “You couldn’t even wait until after the ceremony.”

“It’s not Kelly’s, if that’s what you’re implying,” I exclaim, feeling the need to defend myself when I see Brian’s head swivel in my direction. “It’s Katie’s, but I figure you already knew that.” What’s Jada trying to do, stir up trouble?

“So are the two of you going to ride off into the sunset?” She snorts like the life-changing events I experienced over the last few hours are completely ridiculous to her. “You must be on cloud nine now that you got your happy ending.” Bitterness rolls harshly off her tongue, poisoning my judgment.

“You’re just jealous.” My words are laced with contempt. I hold nothing back. “Admit it, Jada. If you were really my friend, you’d want me to be happy. You’d let me go.”

“Huh, that’s funny. I thought I already did.” She smirks at me, adding fuel to the fire. “What? Haven’t you checked your phone messages lately? I’m sure there’s one from Talbot that’s gonna blow your mind.”

“Jada…” Brian issues a warning from the sidelines. This is crazy. My brother is in on this too? I dig through my pockets until I find my phone. Turning it on, I see that she’s right. I have a voicemail from our boss. Oh no, what the hell did she do?

“What the fuck, Jada? You promised not to say anything.” I don’t know if I’m more upset about her unexpected betrayal or getting caught in my web of lies. Either way, I’m pretty much screwed—and most likely out of a job.

“I’m moving on, Adam. I finally came to the realization that you’re no good for me.” Her words have their intended effect. I get it. She’s putting an end to our friendship. There’s no coming back from something like this. Hey, I’m a paramedic—I know what happens when the internal bleeding runs too deep.

“I can’t believe you’re walking away from me just because I got what I wanted. How can you be so selfish? Why do you insist on taking everything away from me?” The intensity of my rage can’t be contained. I grab her arm, spinning her around. “Why, Jada? Why?”

“Because I love you!” I think she even surprised herself with that outburst as her eyes widen in shock.

“You what?” My head is spinning. She’s drunk and doesn’t know what she’s saying. She doesn’t love me. How could she?

“Nothing, all right? Just forget it.” She can’t bring herself to look at me because she meant what she said and it’s killing her to have to deny it. “You don’t feel the same way. You never did. I can never be Katie or Kelly or any of those other girls who remind you of her. I’m not your type and I never will be. And now that you’ve got the real thing, there’s no use pretending with anybody else. Last night, I was just going to be a stand-in. You didn’t want me. You wanted her. You’ve always wanted her. I’m not enough for you, Adam. I’ll never be enough.”

She takes off running down the side of the road and I can’t bring myself to follow her. It’s all sinking in. She’s been in love with me this whole time and all I’ve done is treat her like shit. I should chase after her and forget all of this craziness with Katie. Jada’s the one who’s been there for me when I’ve needed someone. I’m not sure if Kelly’s cousin is the Katie I’m even searching for. I could just be projecting my feelings onto the wrong person. Am I really going to throw away everything I’ve built with Jada over some fantasy?

But I can’t get past this mental block. It’s like someone’s in my head, telling me not to let go of this obsession. I’ve hunted Katie through my dreams and it’s like I willed her back into reality. She appeared right when I was going to take things to the next level with Jada. It’s like her presence stopped me from doing something we’d both regret. If I had slept with Jada last night, I don’t think I could offer myself to Katie with a clear conscience. She’s too good, too pure to have to share me with anybody else. I haven’t been living like a saint these last few months, but I never let my emotions get involved either. I was fucking all of those women, but that’s all it was. With Jada, it would’ve been something different, something more.

“Bro, I think you better just let her go. She’s hurt, not to mention embarrassed. If you’re not gonna choose her over Katie, don’t cause her any more pain, all right?” Brian approaches somewhat cautiously. “We’ll call a cab to pick her up. She’s not going to be able to get too far on her own, considering the state she’s in.”

“Where’s she even staying?” I can’t bear to watch her figure getting swallowed more and more by the encroaching darkness.

“At a motel about five blocks from us. She mentioned catching a bus and heading home later today. After how emotional things just got between the two of you, I don’t see her sticking around.” He whistles, overcome by the severity of our argument. “I can’t say that I blame her.”

“Fine, but can we at least trail her in my car and make sure she gets in the cab?” My protective instincts are in overdrive, even though I’m probably the one capable of hurting her the most.

“Sure, we can do that.” Brian reaches over and grips my shoulder. “Bro, you’re quite possibly the world’s biggest ass-wipe.”

“Tell me about it.” I only hope I’m making the right decision in letting Jada slip away. Because whatever this is with Katie, it’s too strong to ignore.

Chapter Nine
Katie

The minute I open my eyes, I can’t wait to see Adam. I need to prove to myself that last night wasn’t a dream. He was really in my bedroom, kissing me, touching me. He no longer exists inside my head. He’s one hundred percent real.

The sun has barely risen, but knowing that he’s just down the hall, I can’t stay away from him any longer. I bounce out of bed, still wearing the shirt he delighted in taking off my body a few short hours ago. My heartbeat races along with my feet as I draw closer to where he is. I raise my hand to knock on his door, but I’m thrown off balance when it flies open and Kelly steps out.

“Oh, Katie! You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing up so early?” She pulls me aside, trying to conceal how flustered she is.

“What were you doing in Adam’s room?” I whisper softly, praying that he can’t hear what we’re saying.

“Oh, nothing. I wanted to ask him about what happened last night, but he’s still asleep. Don’t wake him, Katie. He needs some rest before the ceremony.” She reaches for my hand, sliding her fingers through mine. “Brian called around two o’clock in the morning, begging Adam to pick him up. I have no clue what went down. All I know is Jada’s gone.”

“Was Brian really that drunk?” I’ve seen enough of his behavior to believe him capable of anything, even going on a bender the night before his wedding. “How’s he going to make it through the day?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll get my husband-to-be up and running in no time. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t handled situations like this before.” She gives me a wink. “I’m just glad you’ll have Adam all to yourself today with no one else getting in the way.”

“Kelly, you’re terrible.” I look up at her, trying not to grin. “But it will be nice not having to worry about the competition.”

“Jada was never competition. Adam was a goner the moment you stepped into that hall yesterday.” She turns and glances at me over her shoulder. “I’m going to soak in the tub to try to relieve some of the swelling in my ankles. But remember what I said. Don’t go in there. Let that poor boy get some shut-eye,” she warns in an exaggerated whisper, nodding at Adam’s room before retreating into the bridal suite.

But I can’t will myself to move. I hear his bed creak. So I press my ear against his door, listening for any more activity. He’s definitely moving around in there. But is he dreaming…or is he awake? I know it’s wrong, but I have to find out.

Slowly pushing my way inside, I gasp when I see him writhing against the sheets. He moans, and I cautiously approach the bed. The shade is drawn, and it’s hard to make out if he’s in the throes of a nightmare…or pleasuring himself. My cheeks redden. I shouldn’t have walked in on him like this. I didn’t even knock. But my legs take on a mind of their own, propelling me to the foot of the bed as my curiosity gets the better of me.

Adam’s eyelids flutter as he tosses and turns, and I breathe a sigh of relief—not over his distress, but that he’s asleep. He’s not wearing a shirt, and I observe the muscles in his chest contract and expand as the sheet drops lower and lower. He yanks it farther with his arm, revealing everything down to his hip. It’s pretty clear at this point that he’s completely naked underneath.

Enthralled, I sit on the corner of the bed, watching him thrash around. I’m unbelievably turned on by his performance. I know I shouldn’t be, but I’ve never seen anything like it. His chest is glistening with sweat and his hair is messy and wild. He’s like the definition of lust personified. And things only intensify when he starts calling my name.

At first, it seems too good to be true. Is he really having a sex dream about me? I feel a twinge coupled with the urge to see all of him. I’m not usually like this. Most of the time, I don’t even have the confidence to look at a guy, and here I am, unwrapping one like he’s a Christmas present. Before I lose my nerve, I grip the base of the sheet and start tugging.

Little by little, more of his body comes into view. His pelvic bone. The curve of his butt. The back of his knee. His pinky toe. He’s on his side, so I can’t see everything. I’m desperate for him to wake up and terrified that he will. He goes still for a moment, and his lips part. Gathering my courage, I climb farther onto the bed, close enough to grasp his shoulder. Turning him over, I revel in what I discover. He’s ready for me—more than ready.

But I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been with a guy before. Should I make the first move? What if he gets angry that I’m in here with him? But he didn’t seem angry last night. In fact, he appeared quite reluctant to leave my room. I can’t take my eyes off his arousal. Despite all my efforts, he’s still fast asleep. What more can I possibly do?

Maybe if I’m as naked as he is, it won’t be so awkward when he wakes up. Raising my arms, I pull my shirt from my body, mimicking his actions from last night. All that remains are my panties, which for some reason I’m hesitant to remove. If I do, it’ll be like crossing a line that can’t be undone.

I’ve known this guy for less than twenty-four hours and I’m willing to lose my virginity to him just because I’ve seen him in my dreams? How crazy is that? I should know better. And here I am ready to straddle a naked guy in his bed in the hope of taking advantage of him? I must be out of my freaking mind.

But before I can slide off the bed, his palm cups my waist, drawing me into him. I can’t resist gently lowering myself on top of his body, accepting his invitation. His erection is pressed against my stomach and my forehead barely grazes his chin. The pressure of his arm tightens, pinning me down. His breathing increases when he feels my flesh on his. Scissoring his legs through mine, he rolls on top of me, grinding his hips against me. Splayed out beneath him, I begin to suffocate as the full weight of him comes to rest upon my petite frame. This is not how I imagined things unfolding. He has to wake up. I can’t breathe.

I struggle, trying to buck him off, but he’s too strong. It’s only when he moves his hips that the pressure is alleviated somewhat, as he uses his biceps to hover over me. Maybe if I match his movements I can wedge myself out of his hold. As I rock my core against his, his rhythm starts to increase. There’s only a thin strip of satin material preventing our joining together and I’m grateful that I kept my underwear on. I don’t want to have sex with him if he’s in some kind of trance-like state. I yearn for it to be passionate and earth-shattering, but not like this where he doesn’t even know what he’s doing.

“Adam, wake up,” I plead, attempting to free my arms from beneath his chest. He doesn’t respond to my urgings. Getting desperate, I dig my nails into his skin. This startles him enough that he shifts onto his back. Taking a much needed breath, I pull on my shirt before bending over him, nudging his side. “Adam, c’mon. You’re really starting to scare me. Why won’t you wake up?”

“Katie, don’t go. Please don’t leave me.” His voice is hoarse, like it’s coming from far away even though we’re only inches apart.

“Adam, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” I bring a hand to his face imploringly. “Just open your eyes.”

His phone starts to go off. I nearly jump out of my skin, but he goes completely still. It only rings once, but that’s all it takes. The spell is broken. He blinks a couple of times and starts to sit up.

“Katie? What are you doing in here?” Completely disoriented, he awakens, groggy and confused. “What time is it?”

“It must be after seven.” I hastily reach for the now crumpled sheet in order to cover him up. I can’t have a normal conversation with him if he’s totally naked. I don’t have the willpower. “Are you okay? That was some nightmare you were having.”

He exhales loudly before massaging his brow. “I thought they’d stop now that I found…”

“Me?” I finish his sentence without even meaning to.

“Exactly.” He looks at me with a hopeful smile, like he finally found someone who understands what he’s going through. It hurts my heart to think about him suffering like this on a nightly basis. No wonder he feels completely spent. It was draining just watching him struggle with his demons. I can’t imagine what it’s like being inside them. The ones I have are so different, so real.

“If it’s any relief, I don’t think you were dreaming long. Kelly was just in here and she didn’t mention anything. I only came in when I heard you outside the door.” I drop my gaze, not wanting him to realize that I was spying on him, even though I was.

“Kelly?” His face falls and he covers even more of himself with the sheet. “What did she want?”

“She said that you brought Brian home in quite a state. I guess she was hoping you’d fill her in on the details.” It seems innocuous enough, but Adam seems somewhat revolted by the idea that Kelly was in his room.

“Humph,” he mutters. His retort remains cryptic when he doesn’t elaborate.

“You were calling my name, you know.” I raise my eyes to his for a split second before fiddling with the corner of the blanket.

“You heard that?” His voice deepens, causing my pulse to quicken.

“Yeah.” Heat fills my face. There’s no way in hell I can bring myself to look at him. My reaction is telling him everything he needs to know.

“Wow.” The mattress groans as he kicks his feet over the side while keeping the sheet securely around his waist. “I must’ve put on quite a show.”

“I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. I was just trying to wake you up.” My apology comes out in a rush. No, I wasn’t. I was trying to jump his bones. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He grunts, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t believe me, and why should he? He caught me red-handed, ogling his naked body.

“Besides, I’ve been dreaming about you, too.” Now is as good a time as any to come clean with him. I bite my lip and cringe inwardly.

“Nice try.” He chuckles softly. “And it’s sweet that you’re trying to make me feel better, but if you keep biting your lip, I’m going to have to do something about it.”

My cheeks flare up instantly. I swing my legs around so we’re sitting shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the bed, his skin touching mine. His breath hitches when we connect. But I’m determined to get through this. He deserves to know the truth. I can’t keep lying to him.

“No, I’m serious, Adam. I’ve been dreaming about you for months.” I drag my fingers nervously through my hair. “I was just as startled to see you yesterday as you were to see me.”

His demeanor undergoes a rapid change as he jumps to his feet, dragging the sheet with him. He roughly jerks the shade and it snaps up to the ceiling, filling the room with light. He stands there, looking out, not saying a word. He rests his arm on the pane and I see the muscles in his back ripple.

“Is this some kind of joke?” he asks bitterly. The deadness in his voice frightens me. It’s like he’s giving up. “Because if it is, you have one twisted sense of humor.”

“It’s not a joke, Adam. I swear. It’s not.” I pad across the carpet to stand behind him, but I’m too afraid to touch him. “I planned on telling you sooner. I was just scared that I’d freak you out.”

“Why is this is happening?” He moans, beating his fist against the glass. “I thought I was finally going to get some answers, and all I’m left with is more questions.”

“We’ll figure them out together. I promise.” Delicately, I slide my hand under his hair, giving the nape of his neck a gentle squeeze. “You’re not alone in this anymore.” He sighs heartily, relaxing into my fingers. “I refuse to rest until we get to the bottom of it.”

Turning around, his blue eyes bore into mine before he lowers his head, giving me the softest kiss imaginable. It carries with it no expectation—only hope.