I Hope You Find Me (34 page)

Connor lowered himself down to me and tried
to lift my arm. The pain forced what little was left in my stomach
to come out and I choked on the screams.

“Fin, I can't move her without it hurting
bad.” Connor's voice was terrified.

“
Get me out!
” I wailed.

“You're just going to have to grab her and
lift her up; I can pull her through the top.” Fin said from above
us.

Connor crouched down, and slid his arm
underneath me. He lifted my upper body first and I cried in pain as
he carefully pulled my left wrist down and into my chest.

“
It's okay baby, almost there. Almost
there
.” He whispered against my cheek.

He had to kick at the seat to free my foot
and strained to pull me upright. I was aware of a throbbing in my
shin, but compared to the pain in my head and shoulder, it was easy
to dismiss. Connor hoisted me up and Fin tugged on my right arm to
pull me through the narrow window. He held me close to him,
murmuring softly into my neck while he waited for Connor to climb
out and jump to the ground to help Fin lower me off the truck.

Once on the ground, they laid me flat and
Zoey resumed her place at my side. Connor tried to shoo her back so
he could get a closer look at me but she refused and even growled
at his nudges. Fin ran his hands along my left arm and over my
shoulder, ignoring my shrieks.

“I think it's dislocated.” He said with a
deep frown.

“Do you know how to put it back in?” Connor
asked.

Fin shrugged. “I’ve seen it done. It’ll
hurt.”

“
Oh god
.” I moaned.

Fin pushed the bloodied hair off my face that
was starting to dry to my forehead. “If we do this right, it
shouldn't take long, okay?” I tried to nod and looked away as Fin
positioned Connor near my head, to hold my torso still and he
straightened my left arm laying it carefully by my side.

“On three.” He said to Connor, and then
looked down at me, getting close to my face. “This is going to
hurt, Riley, but you'll be okay, I promise.”

With my wrist in his hand, he bent my elbow
and rotated my lower arm into my chest and then out away from my
body. He tugged and I thrashed below him, screaming.

“Stop Fin! Stop pulling!” Connor yelled to be
heard over my cries.

Again, Fin bent my elbow and rotated my arm
in and out. After four tries a loud popping sound came from my
shoulder and I felt it slide back into place. The relief was almost
immediate and I cried softly into Connor's sleeve as he gently
wiped at my face.

“
Thank you. Thank you
.” I said over
and over to Fin.

He rubbed my arm and put it back on my chest
and tore his flannel shirt open, not bothering to undo the buttons.
As they flew off the fabric, I thought they resembled the sound of
popping corn. They splayed around us like confetti, and Zoey jumped
when one bounced off the top of her head. Fin’s thin white t-shirt
clung to his sweaty chest, making his muscles more visible. Little
tufts of dark hair peeked out of the top of his shirt, decorating
his collar bone. I stared at the delicate concave below his throat
as he moved above me.

“We can make a sling out of this. But we have
to figure out how to get you back up that hill.” He nodded up at
the road and pulled the shirt around my arm, tying it together
behind my neck.

“Do you think you can walk?” Connor
asked.

“My leg hurts...but I think so.”

Fin lifted the torn fabric of my jeans to
peer at my shin. “You'll need stitches for this.” He stood up and
scanned the area while Connor pulled me into a sitting position.
“I'll be right back.”

Connor hugged me to him while we waited for
Fin to return. He brought a long sleeve thermal shirt and a t-shirt
that he found amid the scattered debris. He wrapped the thermal
tightly around my leg and folded the shirt in half before wrapping
it around my head. Woozy and wobbly, Fin helped me stand with
Connor's assistance. I couldn't put weight down on my leg, but with
their help I could hop.

“Okay?” Fin asked softly as he slipped his
arm around me, like Connor had done from my other side. I nodded,
and he leaned down and kissed the side of my head.

Zoey trotted ahead of us but stopped after a
few feet and abruptly turned around, her hackles going up along her
back, as she let loose a string of vicious barks in our
direction.

“What is it, girl?” I asked weakly, too
exhausted to lift my head and look around.

A gunshot pierced the silence, its echo
ricocheting through the trees. I screamed at the pain in my ears
from the deafening noise, while I collapsed to my knees with Connor
still holding onto me. Zoey yelped in fear and darted away from us.
Fin stumbled and then stood stiffly on my other side before making
a soft grunting sound and falling face-first to the ground.

“
Fin!
”

“
Damn
. I was aiming for the
other
asshole. Sorry.” Matt's words hung in the air behind
us.

Connor scrambled to his feet, splaying his
hands out before him, quickly stepping between Matt's revolver and
my feet as I crawled frantically to Fin's side. Blood soaked
through the back of his shirt from a large, dark hole that was
almost perfectly centered between his shoulder blades. I knelt down
next to his face and caressed his cheek with my shaky hand. His
cloudy gaze settled on mine for a moment, and a soft gust of air
passed between his lips. He didn't take another breath.

“Oh no. Please, no.” I cried into his
shoulder, and shook him gently. “Fin? Please,
no
.” I tried
to roll him, but he was too heavy for me to move with one hand.

I wailed at Matt, “
What have you
done?
” I tried to stand but collapsed next to Fin's still body.
Zoey crawled over to me and rested her shaking head on Fin’s
arm.

Matt's eyes glowed with wild rage as he
looked from me to Connor. One of his arms was obviously broken and
he had several gashes on his head and torso. He stood awkwardly,
his body trembling with one leg bent to the side unnaturally,
causing his whole right side to droop. A stiff breeze would have
been enough to bring him crashing down.

“You should watch.” He said to me as he
raised the revolver and aimed it at Connor's head. I screamed as he
pulled the trigger.

***

Matt's mouth opened in a comical 'o' shape as
he stared down the barrel of his gun at Connor, who was still
standing, his hands held out in front of him in the same defensive
position. He pulled the trigger again, with the same result...only
a clicking sound. I sucked in a ragged breath and ran my hand
across Fin's waist band until my fingers felt the cool steel of his
pistol. I tugged on it, pulling it out from under his shirt. I
glanced at it once before I aimed it at Matt's chest.

He smiled. His cut and bleeding lips pulled
tightly at the corners, showing a large gap where one of his front
teeth had been. He pointed his revolver at Connor again. I squeezed
the trigger of Fin’s gun and felt the recoil jolt through my arm as
Matt flew backwards, landing in the dirt with a solid thud.

I crawled past Connor, who was still frozen
in shock, until I was lying next to Matt. He tried talking but
choked as blood spurted from his mouth instead of words. I held
Fin's gun up for him to see, and before he took his last bloody
breath, I pressed the barrel against his temple and squeezed the
trigger slowly as I whispered into his ear, “
I remembered the
safety this time, mother fucker.”

***

Sweat had rinsed some of the blood off my
face from the climb up the hillside but it was still nearly
impossible to see. At one point, we crawled over the uneven ground
on our hands and knees. By the time we made it to the top, we
collapsed on the dirt shoulder of the highway, completely spent. My
mouth was full of the gritty taste of earth, and the bitter, iron
taste of blood.

Connor rolled onto his side and held me until
our breathing regulated. The wind had picked up; bringing with it
the woody smell of fire and Connor looked up the road with a
worried expression. He loaded me quietly into the truck and
fastened my seat belt. Zoey climbed onto my lap, despite my hisses
of pain.

“We've got to get back.” Connor said in a
strained voice.

“What's wrong?” I asked, my voice sounding
miles away.

He sighed heavily as we pulled back onto the
highway. “They set the lodge on fire.”

“How bad?” I chewed on the inside of my cheek
and warily ran my tongue over a cut on my lower lip.

“I don't know. But the main building is
gone...at least.”

I looked out the window as Connor turned the
truck around and began the climb back up the mountain. Tears flowed
freely down my cheeks as I thought of Fin.

“We won't leave him there.” Connor said
quietly, as if reading my thoughts. “I'll get help, and go back and
get him.”

I nodded and wiped at my face. My head
throbbed steadily and with each wave of pain I struggled to fight
back the urge to throw up again.

“Riley, it's a miracle you survived that
crash.” Connor said weakly as he took the turns slow.

“Well,” I said dryly, “I guess you can thank
the
'Oh Shit'
handle.” I felt him look over at me, but I
leaned back into the head rest and watched the scenery in the side
mirror shrink as I cried quietly for Fin.

The smell of fire grew stronger as we neared
the lodge. I was half expecting to see the trees ablaze when we
reached the driveway but they weren't. Nothing was burning actually
but the lodge stood an empty, darkened-shell of its former
self…smoldering. As we drove closer to the building, we could see
right through it to the open lawn and the surrounding
buildings...all untouched.

Connor eased the truck slowly down the gravel
road and we stared, wide-eyed, like children, at the smoky remains
of the main structure. All of the shrubbery around it was gone and
the trail that Fin had taken me down as a surprise was scorched.
The greenhouse was a melted heap of glass and concrete. I couldn’t
keep my chin from trembling.

Winchester and Skip jogged toward the truck,
both covered in soot and soaking wet. Their happy smiles turned to
concern when they got close enough to see the state of me.

“Oh, sweet Jesus.” Skip said as he opened my
door.

“Where's the cart, Skip?” Connor asked as he
hopped out of the truck. “She can't walk very well.”

He pointed to the Recreation building, where
the cart was parked in front of it. Skip walked with Connor across
the lawn while Winchester leaned in to help me stand.

“Did you put this out with just a garden
hose?” I had noticed two green hoses curled up in heaps at the
front of the building, and another stretched out from the Rec room,
pointing at the back of the main house.

His hands were black, the nails gritty and
cracked. His hair was messy and ashy. It was the first time I had
ever seen Winchester dirty but he beamed with pride.

“Yep.” Then his face fell. “We lost the
greenhouse though. Skip was able to grab a few things, but most of
it is gone.” I nodded curtly.

“Is everyone okay?” I looked around for the
others, but didn't see them. My damaged voice cracked with
emotion.

“Yes. Kris, Ana and Jacks went down to the
cabins and started packing up our stuff. For a while there we
thought the fire was going to spread out. They just took a bunch of
bags back down there, actually.”

I looked around at the trees that encroached
the entire area. “Yeah, it's amazing it wasn't worse.” I paused
before asking, “Where was Jacks?”

“What?”

“When the fire started…where was he?” I
waited for him to look at me.

“Uh, he was with Ana, on the other side of
the lake. They didn’t make it back here till after Fin and Connor
left.” He looked down at his feet and slid his shoe along the
ground, making a crescent moon shape in the dirt.

“Oh.” I said it with a sigh. So much for
Jacks’ promise. When we actually needed him, he was off fooling
around with Ana. Why didn’t that surprise me?

Winchester blinked, and asked, “Speaking of
Fin, where is he?”

I looked at him sadly, tears filling my tired
eyes. “He didn't...I mean, Matt...” I couldn't finish the sentence
and collapsed into his arms, crying into fistfuls of his shirt.

***

The warm wind whipped around my face, tugging
strands of hair out of my pony-tail and carrying the dry scent of
summer with it. I sat cross-legged in the dirt, twisting a single
yellow rose bud in between my fingers. Inhaling deeply, I leaned
into the grassy mound with my right hand, and stretched my left arm
back and forth. It wasn't completely healed yet, neither was the
pain in my shin. Winchester had done a meticulous job of sewing the
eight inch long gash up. It had healed nicely on the outside, but
the slashed muscle was taking much longer to recover. I worried the
limp in my gait would never go away, but considering how badly
banged up the accident had left me, it could’ve been much
worse.

The wind changed direction and pushed at my
back, causing the pale blue gauzy top I wore to flutter around my
waist and a familiar male smell came with it.
Connor
. I
smiled over my shoulder at him and he sat down in the grass beside
me. His jeans brushed against my thin, cotton shorts and he
playfully banged our knees together.

“Hey baby, thought you might be here.” He
said after tenderly kissing my cheek.

“It's a good spot, isn't it?” I rested my
head on his shoulder and looked down at the yellow rose. Even
though it hadn't fully opened, its fragrant essence fanned out
around it, gracing nature with its aroma as only a rose can. Most
of the potted roses had burned with the lodge but a few were
salvageable. It took several weeks longer than usual for one
particular rose bush to bloom and I held the first bud in my
hand.