I Love My Man (Nicole's Erotic Romance) (4 page)

I don’t know why I’m looking at my phone
anyway. Mark hasn’t texted in days, not like he was doing it much to begin
with. Staring, I picture his name lighting up the screen. But it only makes my
heart hurt more.

“Nico!”

I look up to see Amber jogging toward me,
her mouth twisted in an odd, sad smile as she waves. I don’t know if it will
ever be the same between the three of us. She’s probably thinking that, too.

I give a weak little wave and slide my phone
into my bag. “Hey.”

“I’m glad you called me.” Her sad smile
fading away to nothing.

“It wasn’t easy.”

She nods. “Is that for me?”

I glance at the forgotten extra cup of
coffee on the bench beside me. “Oh. Yeah, it is. It was a long line, so I went
ahead and got you a latte.”

“Almond milk?”

“Of course,” I smile.

“And yours is black with cinnamon.”

I quietly answer, “Of course.”

A warm smile spreads across her face, a real
one this time. It’s nice when someone knows you, like we know each other. But
of course then this makes us think of Jess who knows us just as well, and our
smiles fade as quickly as they came. Picking up our cups and handing hers to
her, I motion to the empty space on the bench beside me.

She scoots in and gets comfy, drinks a small
sip, closing her eyes for a moment. “Mmm. Perfect temperature. You’ve been
waiting awhile?”

I shrug a little. “Not long. The milk cools
it off.”

She nods and takes another sip, staring
forward. I adjust myself so that I’m more comfortable, and fail. Nothing feels
comfortable. “So…”

Amber looks at me sideways, and adjusts to
face me. She waits.

“Amb, I don’t want to live without Mark.”

Her body slumps and she lets out the air she
was holding in. She looks into my eyes and we stay quiet for a moment. “I think
he’s perfect for you.”

Tears jump up from my heart. “You do?”

Amber nods, her big blue eyes full of
friendship. “I do.” She frowns beneath the sadness of her next thought. “And I
don’t know how Jess is going to take it.” A tear escapes down my cheek. I reach
up, press it into my skin, and close my eyes against another one, but it races
away from me, too. I don’t want to lose my sister. Amber lays her hand on my
knee, patting the jean fabric and giving it a tiny squeeze. “Hey. For what it’s
worth, I think we’re put on this planet to follow our hearts. That’s where our
true path lies.”

Another tear slips away. “Jess
is
my heart.”

Amber nods. “I know.” Leaning back and
releasing my leg, she holds her cup with both hands, staring forward. After a
long pause, she says, “We got in a fight last night. I read her the riot act.”

“You did?”

Her eyes cloud over. “Yeah. It was pretty
bad.”

“How so?”

“She called me short.”

My breath catches as I muffle a laugh.

“Did you just laugh?” She side-eyeballs me.

I struggle to contain myself and fail
miserably, busting up and giggling. “I can’t help it. I’m sorry. It’s just so
Jess
.”

A reluctant grin spreads on her face and she
looks to the heavens. “It is very
Jess
.”

“You guys really fought about me? What
happened?”

She tells me what went down and the more I
hear, the more I know… this is just as bad as I was afraid of. “So, she won’t
budge?” I shake my head, looking off. “All over some guy.”

Her eyes smile gently. “You know he’s not
just
some guy
.” But something clouds
over her, like she’s remembering something. “Did you have sex with Michael last
night?”

The look she’s got working makes me lie.
“No.”

Amber’s eyebrows rise up.

I reach out and touch her arm, look right
into her eyes and hold them steady as I lie through my teeth. “I didn’t. It was
awful…we left together, but when we got to the studio, we fought and I ran off.
We didn’t have sex.” For extra power, I add a bit of truth. “I told him I’m in
love with someone else. He didn’t take that well.” The fact is, fucking Michael
is my mistake and I am the only one who needs to beat me up for it. I will take
this secret to my grave. I only hope Michael does the same.

Amber lets out a breath of relief, a big
enough one to let me know I was right not to tell her. She looks so grateful we
didn’t fuck, that it makes me feel even worse that we did. But it’s too late
now. She smiles at me, like she’s proud of me. “Sometimes you have to get
something you want, to want to lose it, I guess.”

I nod and force a sarcastic laugh at the
irony as I say what’s been on my mind. “And here’s me – the perpetually
single girl – crushing men wherever I go, all of a sudden. I mean what
the fuck? When did this happen?”

“You know what I think?”

I turn my head to her, hoping for hope.
“No…what do you think?”

“I think that when two people love each other,
they can overcome anything.”

My lip trembles uncontrollably as an
emptiness takes over me. “Please tell me that applies to Jess, too.”

Her smile slides sadly away. “Oh Nico.
Sweetie, I don’t know. I hope so. She called me, like I’m sure she’s called you,
but I’m letting her sit with this. I think she has to come to an answer on her
own. I think maybe if I hadn’t bitched at her, she wouldn’t have argued so much
and she could have heard me more. Like maybe I made her defensive?”

“That’s pretty wise, Amb.”

“You think so?”

“I do.” My phone rings. I jump and quickly
dig it out, but it’s Jack Fleming’s name staring back from the screen. I look
at Amber as I answer, obviously disappointed. “Hi Jack.”

“Ms. Henry, how’re we doing with your
paintings? The current installation is coming down in three days. I want a
comfortable window to install yours, so let’s have them here then.”

“Of course. Three days? Okay.” I widen my
eyes at Amber. She wiggles on the bench, tapping her feet on the ground with
excitement.

Jack shuffles papers as he talks to me.
“Great. I’ll have a truck come around to pick them up.”

“Really? I was wondering how’d I’d get them
to you.”

He chuckles dryly. “Yes, we have all sorts
of modern conveniences to help us get things from one place to another.”

Pursing my lips, I match his dry tone
instantly. “You know what I mean, Jack.”

He laughs, pleased with himself. “Good
afternoon, Ms. Henry.”

Muttering all kinds of obscenities in my
mind, I say, “Goodbye Jack.”

Amber launches herself on me in a bear hug.
“It’s happening!! Your first show!”

“Okay. Okay. I’m freaking out enough as it
is,” I laugh, shaking her and her enthusiasm off.

She points her finger like she just came up
with a great idea. “And Mark will be there.”

I frown at her like she’s dumb. “I know. And
so will Jess.”

Her smile flickers. “Will she?”

Stone cold serious, I look away. “She’d
better be.”

JESSICA

Two Days Later

Both my girlfriends aren’t taking my calls.
I’ve been phoning nonstop like some crazy stalker but I’m getting the silent
treatment. So I came here to Chris’s as soon as he got home from work. I was
even waiting outside chewing on my lips, anxiously tapping my feet, when he
walked up.
 

All patience has left me.

Now Chris sits back on his couch and crosses
his ankle over his knee, looking at me thoughtfully. “Say that again.”

His apartment is a nice two bedroom in the
West Village. His architecture background and respect for the planet are
evidenced everywhere in the clean simple wood pieces mixed with modern, metal
light fixtures. The cottons of the seat cushions on the dining room chairs and
on the pillows lying about are all made from recycled cloth. Even the couch
cushions he’s sitting on are made from recycled cotton, their creamy tone
complimenting his golden skin so handsomely.

But I’m not thinking about how good he looks
right now. There is only one thing on my mind and that’s how do I get my
girlfriends to talk to me again. I can’t live without them. Apparently they can
live without me.

That has got to change.

Like, now.

“Well…” I begin again, twisting my red hair
at the ends with both hands as I pace in front of him. Round and round my hands
go
.
“I’ve single-handedly ruined
Nicole’s life. Amber said I’ve robbed Nicole of any chance at happiness because
I am a selfish twat. I’m
barely
paraphrasing here. And she and I got into a big fight. I called her a barking
Shih Tzu… essentially.” I stop pacing and turn to him. “Have a gallon of vodka
lying around?”

His eyes narrow as he studies me. “This is
about Mark, isn’t it…”

“You say that like it’s obvious.”

“It is.”

“Oh.”

He touches the couch next to him. “Come
here, please.”

I slowly walk over and sit, staring at my
lap and waiting for the bomb to drop.

“Look at me, please.”

My long eyelashes rise (thank you, Grandma)
and I flutter them. But he shakes his head. He isn’t having it. My shoulders
sheepishly droop and I mutter, “I’m sorry I’m asking you about this. I usually
talk to Amber and Nicole, but they’re not talking to me. I can figure it out on
my own, if it’s too uncomfortable for you.”

The look on his face kills me. “You care
about him, don’t you?”

“No!”

His chin tilts slowly down, his eyes a
little distant. “Jess. Why would you be holding Mark away from Nicole if you
aren’t still interested?”

His question is like ice poured on the top
of my head. I shiver and tuck my hands between my thighs, chewing on my bottom
lip. “Wow. You too, huh?”

He says nothing, just lets his question hang
in the air. Biting off a piece of dried skin, I gnaw on it. My mind spins. How
has everything gone to shit over some guy I slept with twice? Why did I get so
jealous? Is this still shrapnel from David cheating on me? Do I want Mark for
myself? My heart hurts at the thought because part of me wants to keep him. Not
as a lover. I want to keep him as a part of my story, safely there where I’ve
defined his purpose. But doors only close when you’re going in the wrong
direction, and doors are shutting fast on me. I can’t lie to myself anymore.
And though I won’t tell Amber this, she’s right. I’m a selfish twat.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I look at Chris. One
of the corners of my mouth comes up. “I’ve been being an idiot, haven’t I?”

He doesn’t smile or speak, but there’s a
sparkle behind his eyes again. The sight eases my heart and I know I’m on the
right track. Doors are opening. A small chuckle drifts through me, relief for
no longer having to fight so hard to keep the fantasy in my head going. I’ve
made a mess of things. Denying it – to anyone – has been so tiring.
It’s hard to admit when I’m wrong, but the air sure feels lighter after I’ve
done it.

“Yeah. I have.”

He leans back and looks away for a
heartbeat, then flashes a smile my way. “So what are you going to do about it,
beautiful?”

I sigh. “I don’t feel beautiful, but thank
you for saying that, baby. Well, what can I do, if they won’t talk to me?
Should I go to Nicole’s house and force her?”

He smiles at the thought, and I can see his
answer is a firm, amused
no
. An idea
occurs to him, and he chews on it a second. “Will Mark talk to you?”

My eyebrows fly up. I lean back like a gust
of wind knocked me down. “Wow.” I jump up and start pacing again, excited.
“That might work! I have his email. I can tell him I’m sorry and that if he
wants to date Nicole, I give him my blessing.”

“Her exhibit reception is coming up. He’ll
be in town for that, right?”

I stop and stare, completely confused. “How
did you know that?”

“You mumbled something about it when you
were getting ready one morning.”

I blink. “I did?”

“Yes. You were thinking out loud.”

“Great. So I’m not just an idiot, I’m an
insensitive idiot. This whole thing must have been so odd for you. I’m so
sorry.”

He laughs. “I have a soft spot for idiots.”

This drags a huge grin from my heart. I walk
to him, bend over and put both my hands on his legs so that I’m eye-level with
him. He looks back at me, amused. I look to his lips and back to his soft brown
eyes, watch them shift and become more intimate and sensual. My Mr. Natural. So
ruggedly handsome and so terribly kind.

“Chris…you wanna know something?”

He leans in a bit toward me. “What?”

I pause for a sweet moment. I lean forward
and give him one small kiss, coming back to whisper, for the very first time,
“I love you.”

A beautiful smile lights up his face. “I
love you, too, Jessica.”

My eyes well up and I give my head a shake
against the onset of happy tears. He pulls me onto his lap and kisses me
lovingly. The soft tips of our tongues touch and I feel like melting with him
all the way into the bedroom. But I pull away suddenly as a thought slams into
my mind.

Chris tilts his head to the side. “What’d
you just realize?”

“Nicole needs to have this feeling.” I look
at him, emotions welling up in my chest. Dammit, Amber, you were right again. I
have to make this right. This is on me, and what am I waiting for? “Everyone
needs to be loved. I have to tell her I’m sorry! And I have to make this right,
right now!”

Chris nods and a warm glow lights his eyes.
“That’s my girl.”

For the past few weeks since Mark left town,
Chris had been waiting for me to wake up and do the right thing, but he’s said
nothing. His is a quiet patience. Somehow he knows to wait until I’m ready and
when I am, he asks a question or two that will guide me to finding the answer
for myself. I hug him tightly. “Thank you so much for being the way you are.
I’m sorry for making you worry.”