I Put a Spell on You (17 page)

“Bloody hell,” I said. “Where was that?”

“It was inside one of the books on Xander’s shelf,” Esme explained. “I dropped it on the floor and it slipped out of its dust jacket. When I picked it up I realised it was a different book inside. I was curious so I peeped inside and saw it was full of handwriting.”

She gave a little laugh.

“I was half afraid I’d found Xander’s diary,” she said.

“Do men even keep diaries?” I said.

Xander grimaced.

“Not any men I know,” he said.

Esme was desperate to finish her story.

“It was women’s writing though, definitely.” She fanned the pages so we could see. “Look, some of it’s written in pink pen. Xander’s not the pink-pen type. So I had a quick look inside and then I read this…”

She opened the front cover and handed it to me.

“This is it,” I read aloud. “A new start for me. Since I was a wee girl I’ve been fascinated by witchcraft and casting spells. I’ve spent years reading about it and now I’ve decided it’s time to start making some magic! Thought I should keep a diary so I could log my journey towards becoming a white witch. Wondered about doing a blog at first, but that seems a bit too public – might just keep my mistakes to myself at first!”

I looked up at Louise, sitting next to me, and Esme, who was standing in front of me.

“Shall we read it?” I asked.

“Are you kidding me?” Esme yelled. “Of course we should read it.”

I lay the diary on the sofa in between me and Lou. Esme sat down next to Xander, her body twisted so she could see the notebook.

“Do you want to read it?” she said. “Are you nervous about what it might say?”

I put one hand on top of the diary and fanned the pages with my thumbnail.

“I don’t want to,” I said. “There’s an awful lot here.”

Xander turned round and put his hand on my knee.

“Sweetheart,” he said. “Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.”

Esme shot him a disappointed look.

“But this could be the key,” she said. “This could explain why all this has been happening.”

I looked at Louise and she gave me a nod.

“Esme’s right,” she said. “I think you should read it.”

Steeling myself, I picked up the notebook.

“I don’t want to sound rude,” I said. “But could you all sod off? I won’t be able to concentrate if you’re all reading over my shoulder.”

“I’ll go and ring that plumber,” Xander said. “Louise, Esme, come with me.”

Louise squeezed my arm, then she and Ez followed Xander out of the room.

Left alone, I ran my hand over the cover of the notebook. Then I took a deep breath and began to read…

Chapter 26

Monday April 8, 2013

This is it. A new start for me. Since I was a wee girl I’ve been fascinated by witchcraft and casting spells. I’ve spent years reading about it and now I’ve decided it’s time to start making some magic! Thought I should keep a diary so I could log my journey towards becoming a white witch. Wondered about doing a blog at first, but that seems a bit too public – might just keep my mistakes to myself at first!

Wednesday April 10

Started collecting the things I need to cast a spell today. So far I’ve got loads of candles (just about every spell I’ve read needs a candle), some blue velvet fabric (found in a charity shop – think it used to be a curtain, though frankly not sure who’d have that at their windows) and a mirror. There are a few other bits I might need and I’ve heard there’s a good shop on Cockburn Street where I can get them.

Perhaps this is where I should explain where my interest (evil ex-husband called it obsession) comes from. I was ill a lot when I was little and spent weeks on end in hospital. I read just about every book about witches I could get my hands on. And, when I couldn’t join in games because I was ill, or weak, or recovering, I sat on the sidelines and I watched. And I still watch. And I see things I can’t explain. There’s more of it around than most people realise. Evil ex-husband said I was mental. One of many reasons he’s now evil EX husband and not just evil husband.

Most people don’t believe in witches or magic. But I do. I really do. I can’t explain why, but I’m sure there’s more out there than we can see. I’ve never had a spooky experience, or twitched my nose like Samantha in
Bewitched.
I’ve never so much as known who’s at the door before I open it. But I know. I know there’s something else, something more. Something I can almost see, just out of the corner of my eye. Like when you meet someone and you can’t quite remember their name. And I’m going to find it.

Sunday April 14

Yesterday, went up to the old town and found the shop on Cockburn Street. It is a treasure trove! Full to the brim of student-friendly (by which I mean, of course, stinky) patchouli oil, joss sticks and wind chimes, but with a section towards the back with more mysterious stuff. Found some chalk (for chalking pentangles, apparently), a piece of soft, pink silk (not sure what I’ll use that for, but I liked it), and some tiny bells. Also had lovely chat with the woman who owns the shop. She was so nice. She asked me some questions and I could tell she was testing me. She was obviously trying to suss out how serious I was about witchcraft. But passed the test with flying colours, obviously, because she told me to come back “any time”. Am thrilled.

So, now am all set for my first spell. Have decided, just for my own peace of mind, to do a spell that has a definite result for my first one. If I do something like a protection charm for my family or my best mate Fi, I’ll never know if it worked or if it was just luck. So, sounds a bit selfish but it’s all about the job-hunting for me. I’ve been at the bank for five years now and while my colleagues are great and we have a laugh, I really want to move on. I’m going to do a job-hunting charm, which should help me find what I’m looking for. It’s a full moon next Thursday, so planning to do it then. Watch this space!

Thursday April 25

Oh my god. Brilliant. BRILLIANT. It just felt so right. Had intended to wait until dark, but had forgotten it’s bloody spring and it doesn’t get dark until quite late. Too impatient to wait for complete darkness so just waited until the sun had set and then drew my curtains. Figured the moon would give me its power even if it wasn’t quite up yet.

Laid out my equipment and poured myself a glass of wine. Felt surprisingly nervous! Then I got my notebook and wrote out what kind of job I wanted.

I wrote: Good salary, local, challenging, interesting people.

Then I added: Spiritual.

I wasn’t sure what I meant, but I thought I’d know it when I saw it.

Laid my job description on a tray, and then lit a blue candle (blue means power, I’ve been told). I held the paper in the flame until it set alight and then dropped it onto the tray and watched it burn. Once it had disintegrated, I scooped the ash into a tiny bag I’d stitched from a piece of my blue velvet.

Feeling a bit silly, zipped on my hoodie and went out, across the road into the park. Worried I would bump into doggers or something but it was very quiet. Found an oak tree (think it was an oak tree, never that sure about which one’s which to be honest), then dug a wee hole and buried the little pouch. It sounds mad, but that’s what I’d read about. Then home for more wine!

Now just waiting for it to happen. Wonder how long it takes?

April 27

Nothing yet.

April 30

Nothing. Hate my job. Hurry up.

May 2

Nothing. NOTHING.

May 7

OMG. Too old to say that, but this is an OMG moment. I’ve got a new job. No word of a lie. It’s perfect and it happened so smoothly that I have no doubt that my spell worked!

On Saturday, fed up with waiting, thought about doing another spell. So I went back to the shop in Cockburn Street to buy some more bits, and chatted to Lisa, the owner, again. She is so nice, did I mention? Anyway, the shop was empty, so she made me a cup of tea and I told her about my spell. She looked a bit thoughtful for a while, then she pulled a thick address book from under the counter and leafed through it. She copied a number onto a post-it note, handed it to me and told me to phone Harry. I asked who he was and she said ‘he’ was a ‘she’. Then she whispered: “She’s a witch.”

I felt my stomach flutter in excitement – like when the children hear about Aslan in
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.
I knew this was the beginning of something big. But I was still a bit confused so I asked why I should ring this Harry.

Lisa looked very pleased with herself and told me Harry is a bit of an entrepreneur. She runs a brilliant website, inharmony.com, that’s a resource for witches. Lisa told me I should have a look at it. Still beaming with pride now that she lumped me in with witches. And she said Harry’s branching out and opening a spa in Edinburgh – and she needs a receptionist. I was so excited. I ran home and called Harry straight away. She was curt, not over-friendly, and businesslike but she said she was in work that day and if I was free, to go and meet her there and then.

I was really nervous – after all, I’d had no warning! But was at a loose end, looked quite respectable in my new maxi dress and wee denim jacket, so felt quite confident.

We met at a coffee shop in Stockbridge, round the corner from where the builders were finishing off. The spa is going to be called
In Harmony
too. It’s named after her. Harmony is a lovely name, I think.

Harry herself is quite scary. She is absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous. Tall and slim with shiny dark hair and such lovely clothes. She was just wearing jeans with a vest top and a narrow scarf, but her jeans were 7 For All Mankind and I was sure the vest cost more than my whole outfit.

She apologised for being scruffy. SCRUFFY! In those jeans. Said she didn’t want to wear her “good stuff” when it was dusty in the spa because of all the building work. Managed to hide my surprise that her £200 jeans weren’t “good stuff” by giving her a winning smile and a copy of my CV.

She sat silently, reading through it, then looked at me. Her eyes were dark and I couldn’t tell what she thought. Felt very intimidated by her gorgeousness.

She asked me if it was Lisa who’d told me to phone her and I just nodded. Didn’t speak in case nerves made me babble. It crossed my mind that it must be really, really hard to recruit staff for a witch business. Harry didn’t look bothered, though.

She asked me why I wanted the job and my heart sank, I’ve got to admit. It’s like the worst – and the laziest – interview question ever. But somehow got the impression she really wanted to know. And I wanted to tell her. So instead of giving her some guff about needing a new challenge, I leaned forward in my chair and told her I wanted to be a witch. I know! Can’t believe I said it. But I did. And I told her I’d cast my first spell.

She smiled at me, and I was struck again by how stunning she was. And then she asked me if the spell had worked.

I chewed my lip and then – amazed at how bold I was being, asked her if I had the job.

She gave a brief, businesslike nod. Totally going to copy that gesture. And said she would give me a three-month trial period with one week’s notice.

And do you know what I said? I told her my spell had worked. Luckily she laughed. Maybe she’s not as scary as she looks.

June 2

Been rushed off my feet the last few weeks. I finished work at the bank and now I’m preparing to start at the spa. Terrified about starting. But feel this is a new beginning for me. When evil ex-husband (AKA Mark) and I split up I lost my way there for a while. It’s not easy, when you’re forty and newly single
for the first time in twenty years. My friends were great but they’re busy with their husbands and kids and a single girl stands out at family parties. I just plodded on in the same job, and the same flat – but without the man I thought would be there forever. And now he’s got his new girlfriend and his baby and I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt. All that time, trying for a baby and the miscarriages and saving up for IVF – him having a family with someone else was never part of the plan. Oh now I’ve got myself all gloomy about the past when really I want to think about the future. So, yes. This job feels like a new start for me. I think Harry could become a friend and the spa is such a great place. We’re not opening until August but lots to do before then. Getting organised, helping Harry find therapists and yoga teachers and whatever. She’s got herself a deputy manager called Xander, but he’s not finished his other job yet so he’s not starting with us for a while. Am going to take yoga classes and look after myself a bit more and, of course, concentrate on my magic – perhaps with some help from Harry. I think things are finally turning around for me. But I’m still bricking it. So going to do a spell to bring me confidence for tomorrow…

I need a lucky charm – something I can carry with me. Found a pretty shell that I picked up on the beach in Corfu last year and has been in my bathroom gathering dust ever since. And a candle – of course (I keep setting my smoke alarm off – must ask Harry about that). So here goes…

Later.

Hard to write because I’ve burned my hand (bloody candles) but all done. Lit the candle and passed the shell through the flame – that’s when I burned my fingers – and said the charm. I said: “I am successful, happy and confident. I can do anything. I can be anything. I am me.”

Felt a bit of a wally saying it all out loud, but afterwards felt calmer and more in control. Bed now, to get ready for tomorrow.

I put the notebook down on my knee and rubbed my eyes. Poor Star. Poor, poor girl. She’d been so bloody excited about starting work at the spa. And she’d said such nice things about me. This whole thing was just so awful, I wasn’t sure I could carry on reading.