However, none of this was Lily’s fault, something he’d best remember. He had a feeling she wouldn’t put up with his shit like Liam did, employee or not.
He paused inside the kitchen door, sniffing. “Something smells terrific.”
“Caramel crème brûlée for after dinner,” Liam said, sounding happy. In his element. Jude could hear the younger man shuffling around, banging metal lids and stirring something at the stove.
Lily groaned. “I can already tell living here is going to pork me up like a Macy’s float.”
Liam snorted. “You? Don’t believe her, boss. She’s five-foot-nothing and a good strong wind will blow her all the way to Times Square. A few naughty carbs will fix what ails her, though.”
“Sounds like it might take more than a few, but we’re all about naughty around here, so she’s doomed.”
“Totally.”
“Are we still talking about food?” Lily asked with a laugh.
Jude turned slightly in her direction. “After your eye- opening introduction, do you honestly wonder?”
“Hmm, I suppose not. But since two of us actually have work to do, unbridled sin will have to wait.” Her tone reverted to crisp and businesslike, yet remained friendly. “How much will my job overlap with Liam’s? I assume he’s been running your errands and such?”
“In truth, he’s been overloaded, cooking and doing much of what a PA’s job would entail, without complaint.” Jude regretted not realizing sooner all he’d been asking of the man. “He can help with errands when he’s not busy in the kitchen, but I’ll let you two work out the details. As I’ve said, we’re not formal around here, so whatever works best for you both is fine.”
“All right,” she said. Liam chimed in with agreement.
Jude nodded and went on. “Liam decides the menu each day, so if you have special dietary requests, dislikes or favorites, you’ll have to let him know.”
“Is the kitchen off- limits? What if I sneak in here for a midnight snack?”
“Sneak all you want, but if you kill it, let me know so I can fill it,” Liam said. “Nothing more aggravating than starting a meal, only to discover that someone—ahem—has gobbled the last of an ingredient I needed.”
Jude lifted a brow in mock annoyance. “Excuse me? Whose kitchen is it, anyway?”
“Mine, and don’t you forget it.”
Jude chuckled. The man was right. “That’s why you’ve been working for me for how many years now?”
“Four. I’m surprised I’ve put up with you that long,” the younger man commented good-naturedly, needling him.
“Why? Don’t I take excellent care of you?” Jude asked, putting a hint of suggestion in his tone.
“When you’re not disappearing for weeks at a time with no word, letting me wonder if . . .”
You’re dead somewhere.
The thought hung unspoken in the air between them, dispelling the companionable atmosphere, and the silence grew charged.
The younger man stilled. “Shit. I’m sorry, Jude. It just slipped out.”
“Hell,” he muttered, curbing the impulse to snap out a reprimand. Despite Liam’s gregarious nature and the lapse just now, he could always be trusted to keep a confidence. Dammit, Jude hadn’t wanted to get into this so soon, but Liam had made an honest mistake, one that must be dealt with.
Lily broke into the tension, curious and concerned. “You make it a habit to vanish without informing your employees of your whereabouts? Why?”
“I can’t answer that,” Jude said curtly. The pressure in his head increased, along with a vague sense of anxiety. “I don’t have any idea where I used to go or what I did there. And if there are any clues in the house that might help answer those questions, Liam and I haven’t been able to find them.”
“Jude always let me know when he was leaving,” Liam clarified, taking his cue to be able to speak on the matter. “But I never knew when he planned to return until he called me from his cell phone on the way home. He always said what I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me, whatever that means.”
“So, you have memory gaps? Because of your accident?”
A sliver of guilt crept in. “Yes. Perhaps I should’ve told you up front, before you accepted the job, but I don’t see why my few limitations should affect our working relationship.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” she said. “You did tell me about the headaches and the nightmares. After what you’ve been through, it stands to reason for there to be physical consequences. It is very strange, though, that only specific periods of time are a blank for you.”
“Head injuries can do weird things to the human brain,” he agreed. “Anyway, my intention was to eventually tell you about the gaps, maybe use you as my eyes to help me investigate where I went three or four times a year and why.”
Her stillness was almost tangible, her voice soft, but with a hint of warning. “Going by what you’d told Liam, you might not like the answer.”
“I think he has a hot babe stashed in a warm climate somewhere,” Liam joked in an obvious attempt to lighten the mood again. “He flies off, gets himself a little jungle lovin’, flies home a new man.”
Despite the quiet laughter the three of them shared, he and Liam strongly suspected the truth wasn’t nearly so fun.
“Nice thought,” Jude said with a wistful smile. “But if my visits with this imaginary woman caused me to come home wound tighter than an iron coil and seclude myself in my bedroom for days afterward, then I’d obviously need a new mistress.”
Lily’s tone became sharp. “You know for a fact that you acted this way each time you returned? Or are you just repeating what Liam told you?”
Jude paused. Why would she care either way? Still, he saw no harm in answering. “Repeating, mostly. It’s hard for me to separate what’s just a result of stress since the accident, and what might be real memories.”
Liam fell quiet and continued moving around, going about his tasks, his actions more telling than words. The younger man was fretting, his normally cheerful mood dampened. Lily, however, seemed undaunted. A woman used to tackling problems head-on.
“Well, if there’s anything to these mysterious trips of yours, I’m sure we’ll uncover the reason. In the meantime, I’ll settle in and get my bearings.”
“Thank you, Lily.” The vise on his brain eased a little. “Why don’t we continue our tour and let Liam finish his masterpiece?”
“After you.”
“Lunch in an hour,” the younger man called after them.
“Grilled chicken salad with toasted almonds and balsamic dressing. Oh, and I already put your bags in the suite connecting to Jude’s.”
“The salad sounds yummy,” Lily called back as they walked out together. “And thanks.”
Jude shook his head. “I don’t know what I’d do without him. That man is amazing.”
“Sexy as hell, too. Is he one of those people who ‘arouse and intrigue’ you?”
It took him a moment to recall what he’d told her, and when he did, his lips curved upward. “Frequently. Does that bother you?”
“Yes. But not in a bad way,” she said, her husky tone wrapping around his balls and squeezing. “Many women feel that two men together are beyond hot, same as some men feel about two women.”
Sweet Jesus, he’d hit the lottery. Any illusions he might’ve harbored about maintaining a strictly professional relationship with Lily were swiftly withering on the vine. Their views on sexual freedom seemed to be a perfect match. He’d be an idiot not to explore the possibilities.
After she has a chance to catch her breath. Christ, give her a break!
Though
she
was the one who’d brought up the subject again, making her interest plain. God, his jeans were going to strangle his cock.
As he struggled for a suitable reply, she went on as though she hadn’t struck him speechless. “Have you ever been in love?”
“What?”
“Love. You know—cupid, hearts and flowers, prenuptial agreements.”
“No,” he said, smiling. “I had a couple of close calls when I was younger, but I’m pretty sure I can safely say that I’m a poor candidate for the status quo.”
“You crave too much swirl in your personal vanilla?”
He laughed. “Something like that.”
“You’re an interesting man, Jude.”
The way she said it made him think she was dissecting a curious bug rather than paying him a compliment. “Not really, but who am I to spoil your delusions so soon?”
“Oh, this is stunning!”
Halting his steps, he realized they must’ve come to the sunroom, a glorious space bathed with sunlight and brimming with plants. Considering he hadn’t been paying attention, he’d either improved on negotiating his way around the mansion or just been lucky.
“Like it?”
“I love it. Do you spend much time in here?”
“I used to. It was one of my favorite spots to relax because it overlooks the pool and the gardens beyond.” The accident had stolen even that simple pleasure from him. To simply chill out and
be
, to soak in the beauty of his private oasis.
“Can we eat lunch in here?”
She was so enthusiastic, he was loath to refuse. “Of course we can. I’ll do just about anything to prolong the company of a beautiful woman.”
“You don’t know that.” The smile in her voice was evident. “I might be a hideous little troll.”
“Impossible. Your self-confidence shines through—and that, to me, is beautiful.”
After a pause, she murmured softly, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, but don’t believe I’m some wonderful guy.
I’m ashamed to admit that isn’t something I would have bothered to say four months ago, even if the thought crossed my mind. Inner beauty wasn’t a concept I ruminated on much.”
“That doesn’t make you a terrible person. A bit self-absorbed in the past, maybe, but not awful.”
The bald truth made him wince. “Until I got a huge God-smack upside the head. Literally.”
“Not to sound insensitive or cliché, but it’s funny how those seem to come along right when they’re needed.”
“Hmm. Are we talking about my experience or yours now? Because I have to tell you, if there’s some cosmic reason a higher power decided I needed to be aimed down the path to becoming a better person, it eludes me.”
“Just making an observation,” she said. “I’ve never been on the receiving end of a major smackdown, at least none that was my fault—my conscience is clear.”
Jude wondered at the edge in her tone, her declaration almost defensive. However, his sixth sense warned him it would be prudent to let the curious statement pass, for the time being.
“Then consider yourself very fortunate. Want to see the rest?”
“Yes, please.”
Easy companionship was restored as he showed her the workout room, the media room with its many forms of entertainment, and Liam’s quarters on the lower floor just down from the studio.
A half hour later, he stopped outside the door to her suite, gesturing inside.
“I’ll leave you to get settled in while I buzz Liam and let him know to serve lunch in the sunroom. When you’re ready, knock on our connecting door and we’ll go down together.”
“Will do. And thanks for the welcome,” she said in the husky tone that made him shiver.
“My pleasure.”
He left Lily to her own devices and shuffled toward his suite, tired but more optimistic about the future than he’d been in weeks. He had a feeling Lily would be an asset, in more ways than one.
Oh, yes. Hiring her was the smartest move he’d ever made. Lily watched Jude go, carefully guarded emotions tossing on a restless sea.
By all appearances, SHADO’s doctors had effectively erased every trace of the horrible man St. Laurent had been.
But one couldn’t erase evil. Right? Mask it perhaps, but not completely obliterate it.
Which did nothing to resolve the lingering doubts in her mind. A man couldn’t hide his true nature forever. Way down deep, people were who they were, good or bad. A procedure such as the one performed on St. Laurent would not change that fact. Eventually, his true colors would show.
And yet . . .
He’d requested her assistance in mending the ripped fabric of his life, the greatest of ironies. He was astute enough to realize something truly alarming lurked in his past.
“If you only knew,” she said under her breath. As he disappeared into his suite, she did the same, pushing inside and letting out a low, appreciative whistle.
“Sweet.”
Even for a SHADO agent—
former
agent, she reminded herself—the estate reeked of money. A lot more green than even the best assassin could afford on the agency’s pay. Espionage must be really fucking profitable.
Or perhaps the bulk of it was old money, inherited from his deceased parents. Not to mention the padding from his side career creating erotic paintings that sold for exorbitant sums. The pieces he’d done before his blindness had likely skyrocketed in value, if she had her guess.
Once he was dead, they’d be worth even more.
The thought made her stomach lurch and she shoved it aside, busying herself with emptying her suitcases. Nicer outfits she hung in the spacious walk- in closet. Casual wear, nighties, and underwear were tucked into the dresser drawers.
One drawer was reserved for her collection of naughty toys—dildos, plugs, clamps, anal beads, and more. These were tools for a successful mission; they were weapons, the same as her guns, poisons, and array of frightening devices designed to deliver death to the unwary.
At the moment, however, Lily wasn’t thinking like a professional sent to do a job. Thanks to the sexual tension in this place—which was thick enough to cut with a knife—the ache in her nipples and the insistent burn between her legs was about to drive her mad. If she had to endure another second without relief, she’d scream.
Eyeing the big purple dildo resting innocently among the other toys, Lily cocked a brow. A woman must do what she must to get through the day.