I Was An Alien Cat Toy (33 page)

information from the strange device that Martek could barely operate with his much larger hands. Gredar

missed his friend at the pottery, and knowing these might be the last few sun passes of his time here only

made that sorrow sharper. He said nothing to T’meen, whose troubled mood did not improve as time went

on. Even the singing where his amazing deeds were celebrated, and he was roundly admired and cheered, did

little to lift his sombreness. At night, he again began to suffer the nightmares which had plagued him after

Filwui’s attack, but he refused to talk about any of it. He just clung tight to Gredar in the dark, as if terrified

to wake and find him gone. Gredar had no words to comfort him, and his body could not solve his friend’s

dilemma. He simply didn’t know what to do to help.

They only saw each other in the evenings. Gredar was too busy preparing for the gathering to break

off and have lunch with Martek and T’meen was leaving the house long before Gredar these days, since

Gredar was spending more time with Jilen’s kitlings while their mother kept an eye on the group of pregnant

females. Halit’s death had made them all rather nervous of anything happening to the rest of their siblings,

and Wilna had been suffering some worrying symptoms which were possibly the sign of becoming egg-

bound. Though the crisis had passed, Jilen wasn’t taking any chances with their precious sister.

Ten sun passes after they’d returned from their hunting trip, his mother called him in to her workroom

just as he was about to go to the pottery, and invited him to sit with her. “Gredar, has T’meen decided? You

can’t delay going to the gathering. If we’re to send another in your place, we need to decide who, and

quickly.”

“He hasn’t decided, and yes, we should send someone else. Lerin said he could do it, if he’s given a

little notice.”

She sniffed in annoyance. “I feel for T’meen’s situation, but I dislike the disruption.”

“It’s not just him, Mother. Jilen and Wilna have said they would like me to be around until she lays.”

“Yes, but Wilna will want Lerin around too...it’s mostly T’meen, isn’t it?”

Gredar sighed. “Yes, I suppose it is. Mother, I’ll attend the gathering if you order it, of course, but...I

would appreciate the leeway.”

She put her tail on his lap. “You can have it. It’s probably time Lerin took on more of the clan

travelling anyway, and he can take Karwa. The boy’s been at me to be allowed to go, so this is his chance.

Darling, you’ve been so sad since this news came.”

He thought he’d done a good job of hiding his feelings, but his mother was older and wiser, and no

one would ever accuse her of lacking perception. “I’ll miss him. I’ll worry about him whatever he chooses.”

“He’s not one of us. You should not...engage your feelings so much.”

He smiled rather painfully. “Too late. He’s...become of my kin. I know his scent. I don’t care he’s not

daiyne. He is simply who he is, and special. Surely you can see that.”

“Yes, my son, I can. But if he stays, he’ll always feel regret, and you’d never be happy about that.”

She stroked his cheek with her tail. “If only you had been born female. Your heart’s too generous for a

male.”

“But then Jilen would be the male, and that would be a pity.”

“True. Gredar....” She pulled him forward and rubbed her face against him. “Do what you need to do,

dear. Lerin can go to the gathering.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, breathing in her comforting scent, grateful to have such a wise and kind

mother to tolerate his foolishness.

Reminded what a gift it was to have the support of his family, he made his mind up. So, after

speaking to Lerin, and listening to his mild grumbling about having to change his plans, and going to the

pottery to let them know so they could coordinate matters with Lerin’s workshop, he walked to the other end

of the village, to Martek’s house.

The scene was familiar to him now—T’meen sitting on a high cushion, Martek crouched beside him,

Jaijair taking notes as T’meen, voice hoarse from hours and hours of talking though it was still early, dictated

and translated from his device. His huu-man friend only glanced up as Gredar walked in, and then went back

to his task, as if the time spent in properly greeting Gredar was wasted.

Martek had more manners. “Gredar! It’s not lunchtime, is it? Or does Kadit want me?”

“No. I need to speak to T’meen, if I may.”

T’meen looked up. “I’m busy, Gredar. Many things to do. Talk later.”

“No. Talk now. Is important.”

“This is important!”

Martek sat back on his haunches, ears flattening in surprise at T’meen’s shout. Jaijair, wise kit,

scuttled out to the back of the house, leaving the three adults to ‘talk’.

T’meen stared up at Gredar, cheeks red and his eyes glittering and wide, as if he’d been running.

“Now,” Gredar repeated. “Please.”

T’meen shoved the device aside and stomped out of the room. Martek shrugged. “He’s been very

irritable. No matter how fast we work, it’s not enough, and he has no patience any more.”

“Is there much more to do?”

“Of course! It will take me the rest of my life to learn all there is in here...though there’s much that

perhaps we do not need, and should not know. If we had time, I’d share this burden,” he said, tail drooping

miserably. “What if something happens to me?”

Gredar held up his hand. “Then our lives continue as they have been. You forget—we don’t
need
this

huu-man knowledge. Learn what you need to protect us, Martek. The rest is...not essential.”

“But I don’t know what I need to know! Even T’meen doesn’t!” He grabbed his tail and held it in

front of him, wringing it in his distress. “If only he would not call his paznit friend, then none of this would

matter!”

“Calm down, Martek. The threat from huu-man hasn’t affected us in three hundred cycles. T’meen

won’t do anything to bring them here now. So nothing’s changed.”

Martek stared up at him, his weary posture revealing his age as it rarely did. “What’s changed is we

know. Now we know, we can’t unknow it. Like that message. T’meen can’t pretend it doesn’t exist and it’s

ruining his life.”

“Then we can’t let that happen. I need to speak to him.”

He found T’meen on the back porch, staring out into Martek’s small vegetable plot. A young kitling

was working among the rows of seedlings, and gave Gredar a cheery wave. Gredar smiled and waved back

but his attention was all for his huu-man friend. T’meen was thin-lipped, colour still bright in his cheeks, and

his arms were tightly folded in a way that indicated stress. “No time to waste, Gredar. What do you want?”

“You send message to Cheng yet?”

“No. Soon. When...when I finish work with Martek. When you come back from gathering. Is time

then.”

“Not going to the gathering.” He sat down on the step so his head was just above T’meen’s. “You’ll

never finish work with Martek. Is too much. You should send message now. Is time now.”

T’meen turned to him. “You want me to go? In a hurry for me to leave, hmmm? Paznit human must

go? Sure, fine. I go. Is not caring. Daiyne can...daiyne can do....” He turned away so all Gredar could see was

his back, which was shaking. “Is not caring at
all
.” His voice shook too, and suddenly there was the scent of

salt in the air.

Gredar wrapped his arms around T’meen’s waist and pulled his huu-man against him. T’meen only

struggled a little bit. “Stop,” he muttered.

Gredar ignored him. “T’meen, is not wanting you to go. At
all
. But is time now for message. Cheng is

sad, is waiting. You are sad, will be sad long time.”

“Yes. Long time.” Gredar barely heard the whisper. “Miss too much, everyone. Martek, Karwa, you.”

“Miss Cheng?”

“Yes. Yes. So much.”

“You come back, visit, maybe? Is not so bad.”

T’meen twisted and stared at Gredar, his cheeks wet and his eyes red. “No. You not understand. I

can’t. No visit. Huu-man will know, will come to hunt. Only way is go, never come back. Never. No

message, no visit. Never know...if you are good, happy. Never know if Martek get sick, if Wilna safe with

kitlings. Is end.” He made a chopping motion with his hand. “Can’t...can’t...is too sad. Feel...like I am sick,

so sad. Understand?”

Gredar rubbed his face against T’meen’s, and began to slowly lick the salty water from his face. “Yes.

Understand very much. But is not huu-man family here, no huu-man friend. Everything is too big for huu-

man. Is best if you go. I...I want you to go.”

“Gredar is dirty liar.”

That startled a laugh out of him, sad as he felt. “Who teach you this thing? Jaijair?”

T’meen pulled away so he could look Gredar in the eye. “Karwa. And you are. Dirty liar. You no

want me to go.”

“No,” he admitted. “But you must go.”

“When I finish. So many things....” He waved his hands around to indicate the multitude of tasks left

undone. “Soon, I send message.”

“No. Too hard, soon. Send now, T’meen.”

“But....”

Gredar licked him, licked around the back of his neck the way T’meen liked, wrapped his tail around

him to show that he cared and was not doing this because he wanted it in the least. “No. Now. This strike.”

“After lunch?”

Gredar stood. “Now. With Martek. We go to the...thing? I forget the name.”

“Podpod. I forget where it is. We go later.” Gredar sighed and looked at his friend until his shoulders

slumped. “Bad daiyne. Hate you.”

“Yes, I know. Come.”

Martek was all for supporting T’meen’s desire to put the deed off, and Gredar had to be very firm

about it all. Dragging two reluctant friends to do what all three of them wished very much not to do was

painful and slow, but even with all the whining and arguments for delay, within a strike they were at the

place where he had last seen the ‘podpod’. This time he was prepared for the sudden appearance, but Martek

nearly fainted with surprise.

“What is this thing?” he demanded to know, stalking up to it and sniffing. “Where did it come from?”

“It was hiding,” T’meen explained. “Want me to show you?”

“T’meen.” Gredar tapped his tail warningly. “Message, then show.”

T’meen spat something which Gredar recognised as an insult in huu-man, but he ignored it, waiting

patiently for T’meen to give up resisting and get on with the distasteful task. Finally T’meen walked over to

the podpod, banged something on the side, and with a great hissing noise, a huge doorway opened.

Martek gasped. “This is amazing! It flies from the stars?”

“So he said.”

T’meen ignored the two of them and went inside the podpod. Gredar and Martek were too big to fit

through the opening, so they sat and watched as T’meen fiddled with things inside. Gredar heard him

speaking quickly in huu-man speech, then he fiddled some more. It only took a few moments, then he came

back outside and closed the door on the podpod again. “Done,” he snapped, glaring at Gredar. “Happy? Get

rid of paznit huu-man?”

“No. No, is not happy. But is right.”

“No, it’s not. Why did you make me?” he shouted. “Now...can’t stop. Must go now. Why? Why you

do this thing to me, Gredar?”

Gredar snatched at him and hugged him close. “Because T’meen is my friend. Good friend. Must go

home to good friend he luff. Is very sad, T’meen. Is very sad.”

“Yes. Is too sad.”

He buried his face in Gredar’s chest. Martek gave Gredar a sorrowful look across T’meen’s head.

“Too late for regrets now, my friend.”

“Yes, I know.”

T’meen wouldn’t speak to him the whole way back, and stalked back into Martek’s house without a

word. Gredar thought it best to let them both calm down and went back to the pottery, but his heart wasn’t in

it. Finally Jelal politely suggested that it might be best if he came back the next morning with a clear head,

and taking the hint, Gredar left. He was half-tempted to return to where the podpod was, and do...something

to destroy it, stop the sending of the message that would bring T’meen’s friend and mean his huu-man would

be leaving their lives forever. He hadn’t realised that once T’meen left, that would be the end of all contact,

but even knowing that, he knew he had done the right thing. Didn’t make it any less painful.

He walked back to the house, and told his mother that T’meen had summoned his rescuers. She only

nodded, and twined her tail with his, as if he had suffered a bereavement too painful to speak of. Which he

had, in a way.

Jilen was in Wilna’s room, her own kitlings crawling around and getting into everything. They’d be

walking within a moonsweep and then they’d really take some looking after. Gredar went to Wilna and

rubbed her tummy, feeling the eggs that meant new life, new members of his family. New demands on his

time that would fill the hole....

“Gredar? Is something wrong?”

Wilna was looking at him. Jilen, very carefully, was not. “Uh. T’meen is leaving. His friends are

coming to rescue him.” He turned to Jilen. “You knew about that message.”

“Mother told me. It’s good news for him. I’m sorry, brother. It’s for the best, but...I’m still sorry.”

Wilna put her hand on his head and made him lean against her. After a moment, he felt Jilen at his

back, hugging him.
This,
he thought desperately,
this is what I wanted to give to T’meen. This is what he

needs too.

But it didn’t feel as convincing as it had that morning. And it hurt much more than he thought it