I Will Fear No Evil (6 page)

“My hair I can comb. But what will your wife say when she sees that shirt?”

“She’ll ask why I didn’t take it off. Eunice dear, I have no wife. Years ago she turned me in on a newer model.”

“A woman of poor taste. You’re a classic, Jake—and classics improve with age. Does my hair look better now?”

“Lovely. Perfect.”

“I’m almost tempted to ask to have us driven back into that bad zone so you can muss it again.”

“I’m more than ‘almost tempted.’ But I had better take you home—unless you want to go with me over into Canada? Back by midnight, probably.”

“I want to and I can’t, really I can’t. So take me home. But let me sit close, and put your arm around me but don’t muss my hair this time.”

“I shall be careful.” He gave his driver the coordinates of Mrs. Branca’s flat, then added, “And get there without going through any more Abandoned Areas, you trigger-happy bandits!”

“Very good, Mr. Salomon.”

They rode in silence; then Mrs. Branca said, “Jake . . . you were feeling quite young, just before we were interrupted.”

“I’m sure you know it.”

“Yes. I was ready to let you, and you know that, too. Jake? Would you like a skin pic of me? A good one, not one taken by that snoopy character who charges so much.”

“Will your husband take one? Can you sneak me a copy?”

“No huhu, Jake dear, I have dozens of skin pix—I was once a beauty contestant, remember? You are welcome to one . . . if you’ll keep your mouth shut about it.”

“Privileged communication. Your secrets are always safe with your attorney.”

“What do you like? Artistic? Or sexy?”

“Uh . . . what a choice to have to make!”

“Mmm, a pic can be both. I’m thinking of one of me in a shower, hair soaked, wet all over, not a speck of body paint, not even face makeup, not even—well, you’ll see. Is that on your wave length?”

“I’ll howl like a wolf!”

“You shall have it. Quick change of subject; we’re almost there. Jake? Does Boss stand any chance with this brain transplant thing?”

“I’m not a medical man. In my lay opinion—none.”

“So I thought. Then he doesn’t have long to live whether he has the operation or not. Jake, I’m going to make still greater effort to dress even naughtier for him, as long as he lasts.”

“Eunice, you are a sweet girl. There is nothing nicer you could do for him. Much better than saying thanks for this trust fund.”

“I wasn’t thinking about that ridiculous million dollars, Jake; I was thinking about
Boss
. Feeling sorry for him. I’ll go shopping tonight for something
really
exotic—or if I can’t find a novel exotic, then a simple skintight see-through . . . passé but always effective with the right paint job underneath—Joe is good at that. And—well, if I’m going to have guards now, some days I may wear nothing but paint—stilt heels to make my legs look even better—yes, I know they’re pretty!—heels, a nylon minimum-gee, and paint.”

“And perfume.”

“Boss can’t smell, Jake. All gone.”

“I still have my sense of smell.”

“Oh. All right. I’ll wear perfume for you. And paint for Boss. I’ve never tried anything that extreme at work . . . but now that we no longer work at his offices—no longer see many people—and I can keep a semi-see-through smock around, just in case—I might as well see if Boss likes it. Joe will enjoy thinking up provocative designs, likes to paint me, and is not jealous of Boss, feels sorry for the poor old man just as I do. And it is so hard to find novelty in exotic clothes. Even though I shop at least one night a week.”

“Eunice.”

“Yes, sir. Yes, Jake.”

“Don’t shop tonight. That’s an order—from your boss by virtue of the power of attorney I hold.”

“Yes, Jake. May one ask why?”

“You can wear a paint-only job tomorrow if you wish—this car and my guards will deliver you like crown jewels. But I need the car tonight. Starting tomorrow you’ll have Johann’s car and guards, and you will
always
use them for shopping. And everything.”

“Yes, sir,” she said meekly.

“But you are mistaken about Johann not having long to live. His problem is that he has too long to live.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He’s trapped, dear. He’s fallen into the clutches of the medical profession and they won’t
let
him die. Once he allowed them to harness him into that life-support gear he lost his last chance. Have you noticed that his meals are served without a knife? Nor even a fork? Just a plastic spoon.”

“But his hands tremble so. I sometimes feed him as he hates to have nurses ‘messing around’ as he calls it.”

“Think about it, dear. They have made it impossible for him to do anything but stay alive. A machine. A weary machine that hurts all the time. Eunice, this brain transplant is just a way for Johann to outsmart his doctors. A fancy way to commit suicide.”

“No!”

“Yes. They’ve taken the simple ways away from him, so he’s had to think up a fancy one. You and I are going to help him do it, exactly the way he wants it done. We seem to have arrived. Don’t cry, damn it; your husband will want to know why and you must not tell him. Do you feel like kissing me good-bye?”

“Oh, please do!”

“Stop the tears and turn up your pretty face. they’ll be unlocking us in a moment or two.”

Presently she whispered, “That was as good a kiss as the very first one, Jake . . . and I no longer feel like crying. But I heard them unlock us.”

“They’ll wait until I unlock from inside. May I go up the lift with you and see you to your door?”

“Nnn . . . I can explain your guards but would have trouble explaining why the firm’s chief counsel bothers to do so. Joe isn’t jealous of Boss—but might be of you. I don’t want him to be . . . especially when I came so close to giving him reason to be.”

“We could correct that near miss.”

“Could be, dear Jake. My Iowa-farm-girl morals don’t seem very strong today—I think I’ve been corrupted by a million dollars and a Rolls-Royce . . . and a city slicker. Let me go, dear.”

3

The guards escorted her up and to her door in respectful silence. Mrs. Branca looked with new interest at “Charlie,” the Shotgun—wondered how a mousy, fatherly little man could be as vicious as Jake seemed to know that he was.

They “stood sideboy” as she spoke to her door’s lock, then waited until her husband unbolted it. As the door opened Rockford saluted and said, “Oh-nine-forty, Miss—we’ll be waiting right here.”

“Thank you, Rockford. Good night. Good night, Charlie.”

Joe Branca waited until he had thrown the bolts and reset the alarm before he spoke. “What t‘hell happen? An’ where you trap uniform apes?”

“Don’t I get a kiss first? Surely I’m not all that late? It’s not yet eighteen.”

“Talk, woman. Other ape shows back two hours with your jitterbuggy—tha’s okay; your boss’s butler phoned.” He took off her cloak and kissed her. “So where you been, dizzy baggage? Missed you.”

“That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day. That you’ve missed me.”

“Walking the ceiling! What happen?”

“Were you worried? Oh, dear!”

“Not worried, Smith’s door flunky said you been sent on errand an ’ud come home in a Brink’s. So knew you safe. Just torched it took so long when call made spec you’d short it. Rozzer?”

“Roz. Simple, though. Boss sent me with his Best Boy—Jake Salomon, you know.”

“Fixer. Roz.”

“Mr. Salomon took me in his car to his office to work on things Boss wanted at once—you know how right-now Boss is and worse since he’s been wired down.”

“Poor old muck should take the Big One. Pitiful.”

“Don’t say that, dear. I cry when I think about it.”

“You’re a slob, Sis. But me, too.”

“That’s why I love you, dear. Anyhow a longish job and Mr. Salomon had his guards take me home—and they drove through Bird’s Nest turf and we got fired on. Chopped all down one side.”

“
Huh
? Doom?”

“Not even grief. Fun.”

“Like what inside?”

“Teribly noisy. But exciting. Made me horny.”

“Everything makes you horny, Tits.” He grinned and mussed her hair. “You’re home and no aches, what counts. So peel. Inspiration eating me, whole day. Walking the ceiling!”

“Which sort of inspiration, dearest?” she asked while sliding the half-sweater off her right shoulder and peeling it down her arm. “And have you eaten? If you start painting, you won’t stop to eat.”

“Ate some. Too high on inspiration. Big, big! I’ll flash a pack for you. Chicken? Spaghetti? Pizza?”

“Anything. I’d better eat if it’s that sort of inspiration.” She kicked off her sandals, pushed down the panty-ruffle, sat on the floor to slide off the single tight attached to it. “Am I going to pose for a painting or are you going to paint on me and mug it?”

“Both. Tha’s the grabber. A Nova.”

She laid her dress carefully aside, rocked forward into Lotus seat. “I don’t roz it. ‘Both?’ ”

“Both. You’ll see.” He looked down, ran his eyes over her, smiled. “And both sorts inspiration.”

“Well! Happy-making!”

“Not too hungry? Can wait.”

“Beloved man, when was I ever that hungry? Never mind the bed; just grab a pillow and come here!”

Shortly Mrs. Branca was thinking happily how lucky it was that she had not let dear Jake go ahead—the sweet thing would have been a disappointment compared with what she had at home . . . yet he had got her wonderfully primed for
this
. Really, it was best to be a faithful wife. Usually. What a wonderful, extraordinary day! Should she tell Joe about her big pay raise? No hurry. Couldn’t tell him
anything
else. Too bad. Then she quit thinking coherently.

Sometime later she opened her eyes and smiled up at him. “Thank you, Beloved.”

“Good vibes?”

“Just what Eunice needed. At times like this I’m convinced that you’re Michelangelo.”

He shook his head. “Not old Mike. Boys his jolly. Picasso maybe.”

She hugged him. “Anyone you want to be, darling, as long as you go on being mine. All right. I’ll pose now, and eat at the breaks.”

“Forgot. Letter from Mama. Read?”

“Certainly, darling. Let me up and find it.”

He fetched it, still unopened. She sat up and glanced through it to see how much editing it would require. Uh huh, just as you expected, dearie, the periodic threat to come pay us “a nice long visit.” Well, she knew how to deal with
that
. Out! Because Joe did not know how to refuse his mother anything. That one visit had been one too many—yet that had been when they had had two rooms, before she had found this wonderful one-big-everything studio room for Joe. Let that clinging old bag move in? No more jolly romps on the floor? No, Mama Branca, I will
not
let you ruin our happy nest with your smothering presence. You stay where you are and live on Welfare . . . and I’ll send you a check from time to time and let you think it’s a present from Joe. But that’s
all
!

“Anything?”

“The usual, dearest. Her stomach still bothers her but the priest sent her to another doctor and she’s doing better, she says. But let me start at the beginning. ‘My darling Baby Boy, Not much news since last time Mama wrote but if I don’t write I don’t never get a letter back. Tell Eunice to write a longer letter this time and tell me everything that’s happened to you; a mother worries so. Eunice is a very nice girl even though I do think you would be better off with a nice girl of your own religion—’”

“Enough.”

“Be tolerant, Joe. She’s your mother. I don’t mind and I will take time—tomorrow—to write her a long letter. I’ll send it by Mercury in the company pouch so that she will be sure to get it; Boss doesn’t mind. All right, I’ll skip the rest of that; we know what she thinks of Protestants. Or ex-Protestants. I wonder what she would think if she heard us chanting ‘Om Mani Padme—’”

“Kark her drawers.”

“Oh, Joe!” She skipped, including the self-invitation. “‘Angela is going to have another baby. The Visitor is sore at her but I gave the Visitor a piece of my mind and I guess that learned her not to mistreat decent people. I can’t see why they can’t just leave us alone. What’s wrong with having a baby?’ Which of your sisters is Angela, Joe?”

“Third one. Visitor’s·right. Mama’s wrong. Don’t read all, Tits. Just read and tell.”

“Yes, dear. Nothing more, really, just gossip about neighbors, remarks about the weather. The actual news is that your mother’s stomach is better and Angela is pregnant. Give me a moment to shower this red and black off—Boss liked the combo, by the way—and I’ll be ready to be painted or to pose or whatever. You can flash a pizza for me while I get clean and I’ll gnaw it between times. And, dear? I shouldn’t pose later than midnight and I’d be awfully pleased if you would get up when I do tomorrow—rather early, I’m afraid. But you can go back to bed.”

“So?”

“For Boss, dearest. To cheer him up.” She explained her idea of full-paint costume alternated with erotic styles.

He shrugged. “Glad to. Why gee-string? Silly. Old man dying, let him look. Can’t hurt.”

“Because, dear. Boss prides himself on being ‘modern’ and ‘keeping up with the times.’ But the truth is he formed his ideas so long ago that nakedness wasn’t just uncommon, it was a sin. He thinks I’m a nice girl from so far back in the cornstalks that I’ve never been touched by changes. As long as I wear a minimum-gee—and paint and shoes—I’m dressed, not naked. By his ‘modem’ standards, I mean. A nice girl pretending to be naughty to amuse him. Which he likes.”

He shook his head. “No roz.”

“Oh, but you do, dear. Symbolism, as you have explained to me about art. But it has to be Boss’s symbols. Nudity doesn’t mean a thing to our generation. But it does to Boss. If I leave off that scrap of nylon, then by his symbols I’m not just a sweet girl, naughty-but-nice; I’m a whore.”

“Whores okay. Angela one.”

(A clumsy one, she said under her breath.) “Sure they are. But not to Boss. The hard part is to guess what his symbols are. I’m twenty-eight and he’s over ninety and I can’t possibly roz his mind. If I push it too far, he might be angry—even very angry; he might fire me. Then what would we do? We’d have to give up this lovely studio.”