I Will Save You (31 page)

But just before I’m swept back toward my prison cell, even though I know it’s not real, I hear Olivia’s voice.

She’s standing by the tide now, facing the ocean, holding my philosophy of life book in front of her. She’s reading the rest of the words I put in her letter.

As I listen, I try to think if the Devon part’s gone. And I wonder if people who ruin everything ever get to start over. And if they can learn how to lean on people, like Mr. Red said.

And if they can get better.

 … After the train faded in the distance, though, Olivia, so did my smile. ’Cause I thought of something serious I wish I could tell you.

Real life isn’t always your daydream. I believe that’s the point of what that author was saying in his “100% Perfect Girl” story. Even though the couple doesn’t end up together after they lose their memories, they still get to meet each other, and they still get to experience what love is. And even the ending, how they don’t fully recognize each other when they pass on the street. There’s still a glimmer of something between them, right? And they both turn around to look. What if that’s what it means to know you’ve experienced love? That look? Maybe that’s even more important than ending up together.

I wonder if it’s the same with us, Olivia. I know you were a great girl before I met you. And I know you’ll be a great girl whenever I stop knowing you. You’ll go off to New York and that doctor will fix your port-wine stain and you’ll have more confidence and you’ll meet new friends in college and get a great job and have an amazing life. And I know I won’t be a part of it. But maybe one day we’ll pass each other in the street. And we’ll have that glimmer. And we’ll both know.

This guy I used to be best friends with once told me a girl like you could never actually stay with a guy like me. He said eventually you’d have to go back to your regular life ’cause girls who grow up with money don’t end up with guys who grow up with nothing. And for the longest time I hated how he’d say that, and I hated trying to decide if it was true. But ever since I read that story I’ve been thinking about it in a different way.

Even if I never see you again, Olivia. Starting tomorrow, after we watch the grunion. Even if that’s the last time I ever get to talk to you, and be next to you, and watch you laugh. Even if my ex-friend turns out to be right.

Still.

I believe I’m the luckiest person in the world. ’Cause I got to meet a pretty girl like you. And I got to hear you talk about all your books. And we rode the train together and took long walks and held hands and we even kissed on your secret rock at Torrey Pines. Where I am right this second. And just knowing you for these two and a half months. It’s made me think differently about myself. And it’s made me feel like I mean something in the world. And how maybe I could even have a future. Like regular people.

Like a regular person.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I’m incredibly lucky to work with Steve Malk and Krista Marino. Steve, thanks for everything you’ve done for me as an agent and friend. It’s an absolute honor to be one of your people. Krista, thanks for believing in me. And my books. And making us both better. You’re the reason I’ve found my little place in this world.

Thanks also to Beverly Horowitz and Dominique Cimina and all the great people at Random House. Thanks to Matt Van Buren and Quan Long and Brin Hill and Sandra Newman and all the amazing teachers and librarians I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Thanks especially to my folks, Al and Roni de la Peña, who have inspired me with the remarkable things they’ve accomplished in their own lives over the past few years. You guys make
me
proud.

And last, thanks to Joshua Ytuarte, a kid I met at Connell Middle School in San Antonio, Texas. Before my presentation I was warned he’d be the most disruptive in the group. And he was. At first. But as soon as I started talking about how I wasn’t
a great student in junior high and high school, he started paying attention. I watched him. After the session he asked to speak to me privately. He told me he was born in prison and that he’d been held back in school. Twice. But he wrote about San Antonio gangs.

He asked if I’d like to read the first half of his book. I said sure. But we were in a hurry to get to the next school.

He sprinted off.

Ten minutes later he ran up to me with thirty printed pages. He was sweating, out of breath. I took the pages and shook his clammy hand. He called me sir.

That night I read the pages. They were beautiful. And ugly. And sad. They were full of heart.

This Mexican kid, who was a thug, who was not pretty, who was too big for his grade, too old—he made something with his hands, and his head. And it moved me. It reminded me of the incredible power of words.

I Will Save You
is
MATT DE LA PEÑA
’s fourth novel for young readers. He attended the University of the Pacific on a basketball scholarship and went on to earn a Master of Fine Arts in creative writing at San Diego State University. De la Peña currently lives in Brooklyn, New York, where he teaches creative writing. Look for his first three books,
Ball Don’t Lie, Mexican WhiteBoy
, and
We Were Here
, all available from Delacorte Press.