I Won't Give Up on You (25 page)

“What the fuck?” I yell.

Her eyes are wide, and she runs to the bathroom. I shake my head and slide down under the covers trying to get comfy.

YES!
I hear from inside the bathroom. Then the water runs and Beth appears in the doorway doing a little happy dance.

Propping my head up on my hand, I laugh. “Take it everything came out okay?”

She skips back to the bed and jumps in. “Bre, I’ve been so scared. I thought I was pregnant.”

I sit straight up. “What?”

She slides back under the covers, pulling them up to her chest. “Ya, well, Jake and I had an ‘oops’ a few weeks ago. Then I was late. I had a test in my bag. I was going to take it in the morning, but looks like I won’t need it now. Must have just been stress.”

How is she trying to go back to bed right now? “Beth, why didn’t you tell me?”

She shrugs. “You’ve been so stressed with this wedding, I didn’t want to add anymore. Plus, even if I was I would still fit in my dress and all that, so it wouldn’t interfere with anything.”

My mouth hangs open. “No, but you can talk to me about anything.”

“I know, but I don’t need to now. Oh, I better text Jake. I think he was more worried than I was.”

She sends off her text and rolls over to go back to bed. How is she so calm about this?

I slide back down and pull the covers up thinking about how I’ll never have to worry about that. Tears form in my eyes. It’s been a few months since my last period, but that isn’t new. I think about the doctors telling me it was nearly impossible for me to conceive after all that happened to me with my last pregnancy. I fall asleep crying.

My alarm goes off, and I feel as though I just shut my eyes. I reach out and smack my phone to snooze. I roll onto my back and stretch. Just then a jolt goes through my body. I’m getting married in a few hours. My stomach turns, but I ignore it and I shake Beth. “Time to get up.”

She rolls over, placing the pillow over her head. “No, too early.”

“I know, but we have hair and makeup coming in about forty-five minutes.”

She turns her head to look at me. “Then that gives me forty-five more minutes of sleep. Leave me alone.”

Shaking my head, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and walk toward the bathroom. Just as I am about to close the door, I see Beth’s bag on the chair. Remembering what she said about the pregnancy test, I tiptoe over to her bag and move a few things to see if she really has one with her. Sure enough, there it is staring back at me.

I’m frozen. Why am I even considering taking it? I know it’ll be negative, and I’ll be crushed. I know there’s no chance of me being pregnant. Not only because I’ve been taking my pill, but… I let the thought trail off. Wringing my hands in front of me, I chomp down on my lip. Grabbing it quickly, I take off toward the bathroom, shutting the door behind me and locking it.

I set the test on the counter. Walking over to the shower, I turn it on to get nice and steamy. I run my hands through my hair. My mind is devoid of any thoughts, and I’m completely calm. I wonder if that’s strange for someone who’s getting married in a few hours. Out of the corner of my eye that box catches my attention again. Undressing for the shower, I decide to just do it.

After taking the test, I chicken out before seeing the result. I throw the test and the box in a drawer in the vanity. Out of sight out of mind. I step into the shower and wash up. Just before I am about to get out, I hear banging on the door.

“Come on, Bre, you’ve been in there forever. Stacie, Andrea, Julia, and Rachel are here for our hair and makeup.”

I step out of the shower, wrapping myself in a towel. “I’ll be right out. Did Sara show up yet?”

“Yes, waiting on you,” she says a little annoyed.

I just laugh. It’s my wedding and they have to wait for me. “Be out in a minute. Can you send Sara in for a sec?”

“Ugh, fine. Hurry, okay?”

I slip my robe on and use the towel on my hair. Fluffing it up, so the curls don’t turn to frizz. There’s a quiet knock on the door.

“Bre?”

Walking over to the door, I open it to allow Sara to come in. We haven’t talked much since Mexico, and I need to clear the air with her.

She glances down before walking into the steamy room. Shutting the door behind her, I immediately pull her in to a huge hug. She tenses at my embrace.

“Sara, I don’t want it to be like this with us. I’m sorry for how I reacted. I was confused and scared.”

She pulls back and frowns a bit. “We’ve been together before.”

I motion for her to sit on the edge of the whirlpool while I continue to work on my hair. “I know, but Caston was always with me. I let my feelings take over, but my subconscious put me in check. If he isn’t with me, it’s cheating, Sara.”

“No, it isn’t. We’ve been together before, so it isn’t.”

I walk over to her and sit. “Sara, Caston and I don’t have the same kind of relationship that you and Jon have. We only want to be together. Yes, we occasionally do multiples, but he’s always with me, and he’s the only guy that I want to be with. That’s the way I want it to be.”

Sara looks at me confused.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t be together again, but you and I can’t be intimate together, alone,” I further explain.

She nods.

“Can we be good again? I miss you.”

She lunges at me, arms open. “Bre, I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry I pushed you. I hope we can be together again soon, but I understand and respect your relationship with Caston. I won’t push again.”

Tears are running down both of our faces. I squeeze her. We finally part and wipe our eyes with the backs of our hands.

“Let’s get this out of our system now. I don’t want to be puffy for my wedding day.”

She laughs through the tears. My robe parts a little showing some of my breast.

“My God, Bre, what the hell did Caston do to you?” She pulls open the top further.

Looking down, I turn toward the mirror. Bastard marked me three times on my breasts last night. “Damn, him. I told him not too. I hope it doesn’t show with my dress on, or Rachel is going to have a fun time trying to cover them.”

She comes up behind me and snaps a picture. “I’m sending this to Caston to yell at him.”

I turn around with my mouth open. He’s not supposed to see me before the wedding. She smiles with a devilish grin. “No worries, your face isn’t in it.”

I just laugh and head for the door. Her text chime returns. Stopping, I turn around to see what he said.

“He told me to tell you he did one for the past, present, and future.”

I place my hand on the door knob. “Well, isn’t he charming?” We both start laughing.

Sara starts to walk toward me, but her shorts catch on the vanity drawer knob. Her first step pulls the drawer out, making it crash to the floor.

“Shit.”

I rush to her side and start grabbing at the box and stick.

“Whoa, is that what I think that is?” She stops and looks up at me.

Sara grabs it out of my hand before I can do anything with it. Then the words fly out of my mouth before even thinking. “It’s Beth’s.”

The girls slide my dress over my head and it falls into place. Perfect fit. I can see Beth start to tear up.

“No, don’t. Please, don’t start.”

She bites her lip and sniffles. “I can’t help it. You’re gorgeous.”

Sara finishes zipping me into the dress and smooths it out. “There, perfect.”

I look over my shoulder and catch her eye. She has tears in them too.

Beth reaches over and grabs my shoes while Sara leaves to grab my veil. Pulling her dress up, she kneels before me to help me into them. I have an overwhelming feeling of being Cinderella as I hold my foot out for her to slip my shoe on.

“Veil, then we are done,” Sara says, walking in from the other room.

The palms of my hands are starting to sweat. I start wringing them in front of me. Beth reaches out and grabs them. “No fidgeting. You’re beautiful, you have a wonderful guy, you are one lucky bitch, do you know that?”

I squeeze her hands and pull her to me and wrap her in a big hug. Sara stops in the doorway, giving us a minute, but I wave her over. She has helped me get to this perfect moment too. The smile that spreads on her face makes me so happy. She joins in on the embrace.

“Thank you, girls. Really, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you two.”

We all part, and Sara slides the veil into my hair. Beth dabs her eyes. “Are you ready?” she asks me.

I take a deep breath. “I think so,” I whisper.

Sara smiles. “Turn around, honey. You’re so beautiful.”

Taking another deep breath, I turn slowly. My breath catches as I see myself for the first time and tears start falling.

“Wow.”

Beth and Sara nod behind me.

Standing before me is a grown women, ready to embark on the most terrifying, most amazing journey of her life. I can’t help but think that my mom should be with me right now helping me get dressed and my dad should be standing in the corner waiting for his little girl.

I let my arms smooth my dress at the sides. The drop waist lace dress was perfect. I knew it the moment I saw it a few months back. The layers of lace that fall to the floor are light but full. The train isn’t too long, but it’s perfect. I pull up my dress to see my shoes. The white shoes with crystalized heels and blue soles were absolutely perfect, elegant and sexy. I reach up to touch my necklace. Caston. All of this is for him, and I can’t wait to see him.

Beth takes this moment to hand me a hankie. I dab my eyes, trying not to mess up my makeup. My hair is pulled up with a few tendrils falling out. The cathedral length veil is the perfect complement to my dress. I’m ready.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Sara rushes out of the room.

She comes back carrying a small blue bag. “Caston asked me to give this to you.”

Dabbing my eyes again, I reach for the bag. I take it out of the bag and gasp. “Oh my God. How?”

Sara shrugs. Beth tries to see what I’m holding. I turn around and hold it out for her to see. Her hand flies up to her mouth.

“Sara, how did he get this?”

“It’s Caston, sweetie. How he does anything is a mystery to me.”

I clasp my shaky hand around my mother’s wedding ring. It’s the most beautiful rose gold with three little pink diamonds on the band. I’d recognize this ring anywhere. It was unlike any I’ve ever seen. It fit her perfectly. I remember telling Caston about the day she showed up without it one afternoon we were snuggling on the couch.

I’d just gotten done practicing and
Claire De Lune
was playing in the background. She was nervously rubbing her ring finger. ‘
Mom where’s your ring?’
I asked her.

‘
Oh, it’s nothing, honey. No worries.’

I could tell that wasn’t the truth. I gathered my bags, but kept my eye on her. Her eyes were puffy and red. They were glassy, like she could cry at any minute.

‘
Mom, please tell me.’

She looked up at me from the seat she had taken. ‘
Oh honey, I sold it. We needed the money and Joe had been asking me about it for a while. He said he never saw anything like it before. I got a lot of money for it.’

I couldn’t believe what she just said. I sat next to her and grabbed her hand in mine. ‘
Mom, why?’

She just shook her head and tears began to fall again. ‘
So you can dance
,’ she whispered.

I slide the ring onto my finger and pull out his note.

Your something old. I’ve been keeping this for a while and knew today was the perfect day to give it to you. You need a piece of your parents with you today and what better than your mother’s wedding ring, the symbol of your parent’s love? They would be so proud of you. I can’t wait to see you at the end of the aisle. I love you, Bre. Thank you for making me whole.

Love always,

Caston

I place my hand over my stomach and cry. How am I going to make it through today without them? My parents should be here to give me away. Sara and Beth guide me to a chair.

I’m on the verge of hyperventilating. “I’m so sorry,” I choke out between sobs.

“No apologies.” Beth pulls me in for a big hug. “Honey, you have to breathe. No trips to the hospital today, okay?”

Nodding, I wipe at my eyes again. Rachel and Julia walk into the room with a big sheet. “Okay, everyone out. We have to make her look as though she wasn’t just crying her eyes out.”

We all laugh through our tears. “Hope that’s all for the night,” I say.

A short time later I appear in the main room. Sara and Beth have been joined by Terrance and Kaitlyn.

“Are you ready, Sabrina?” Terrance asks.

“Yes, more than ready.”

“Wait!” Beth announces, stopping us in the doorway. “The six pence.”

“What?” I ask.

“You know something old, your mom’s ring. Something new, your dress. Something borrowed, my hankie. I want that back after you wash it, of course. Something blue, the soles of your shoes. Lucky six pence in your shoe.”

She produces a coin from her pocket book and lifts my dress up, pulling my foot towards her. Sara grabs my arm to help steady me.