Icarus; The Kindred (A Paranormal Romance) (27 page)

"I'm simply trying to find the girl I knew in the woman she has become. That's all."

"There you are!" a voice bounces off the walls of the garden as one of Tristan's younger brothers rounds the corner. "You promised not to back out this time. Come on, they're waiting on you."

Tristan takes my hand and presses a kiss into my palm. "More of those obligations I spoke of a few moments ago. Forgive me, I must go." He starts off toward his brother, then stops. "What do you have planned for tomorrow?"

"Riding. I hear it's going to storm."

"If I can make time, maybe I'll accompany you."

"I'd like that." I smile at him as he leaves the courtyard, knowing full well that I won't hear from him and for a second I feel like that little girl who used to chase after him. Then, as the clouds pass beyond the moon, the garden is bathed in soft blue light and I find myself caught up in the dark beauty of the night. The urge to follow Tristan passes and I begin to wonder if this is why Nuada's court chooses to live the way it does. Compared to the harsh light of day, the moon is a far kinder to the eyes, perhaps even to the soul. After all, why do I ride in the rain? Why do I prefer the turbulence of a storm to the bright heat of a clear day?

Perhaps I, too, am a creature of night.

The ride to the gateway is excruciatingly awkward.
We have to take little man with us because if things don't go as we intend, well … I'm not going to explore that option, but you get the point. I specifically don't want him to be anywhere but safe with us, even if we are heading straight for the gates to hell. Anyway, back to the drive.

The world around us is in total chaos. With a third of the Earth now dead, every place where humans have gathered is in panic mode, be it a village, city or some other variation of civil organization. We have to take multiple back roads and dodge multiple disasters, the result of thousands upon thousands of people in Ireland dying while behind the wheel of a vehicle or operating heavy machinery. There are bodies everywhere. It's like the rapture, minus the disappearing trick. And Jesus. I'm fairly sure he doesn't have anything to do with this.

So a trip that shouldn't take us more than two hours tops takes nine. By the time we arrive, the sun is setting and the horizon looks like it's actually on fire.

Jacelynd stops the car. "We're here," he says gravely, pointing to a hillside with a wooden door. "It's beyond there."

The place looks surprisingly serene considering what we've just passed to get here and what likely lies beyond.

"This is it? This is the gateway to the underworld?" I ask.

"It's not actually the underworld," Blake says from the backseat.

"Everyone out," I order. "I need to talk to Jacelynd alone."

They reluctantly agree. Once I'm sure they can't overhear us, I take Jacelynd's face in both of my hands. "You asked me once what I would say if you told me that you were looking for me."

He tears up. "When did you … "

"While I was on the beach with Lucan. Listen to me, we don't have much time and I need you to hear this. I would have told you that I was looking for you, too. I had a dream last night from before I ever met you and believe me, I was waiting for you, too. Another part of that dream was a short conversation with Iris," I choke up a little, "and you were right, we were close. I felt the love I had for her. By feeling that, I realized what I have to do to stop this. But I can't do it alone. I need you to stay with Lucan and the others … keep them here, away from the gate. You have to trust me."

"No wa—"

I cut him off by kissing him with everything I have in me. When I pull away, we're both in tears. "You
have
to Jacelynd. You feel it … the truth of what I'm saying.
We are out of options.
"

We sit in silence for a long time before he nods once in agreement.

"Besides, it's a Thursday and we both know I'm dreadfully boring on Thursdays. You probably won't miss much anyway."

He hugs me tighter than I can recall him ever hugging me and kisses my cheek. "God, Jessi. This can't be the end. I thought I was prepared for this, whatever it took to get you back, but I'm not ready to say goodbye to you. Even if we find a way out of this … it still means I'm—"

"It isn't the end. Do you hear me? We didn't survive all of this time just to die now. I'm not letting you go. Stay with Lucan, no matter what happens. Tell him I love him." I crawl over his lap to get out of the SUV on his side, where I can go unseen by the others. "How do I get in?"

"You're Kindred, you can walk right through the door. Humans can't see anything but a hillside."

"Stay in the car for a few minutes. You know Quinn and Trinity will go after me. Use those freakish powers of yours, do what you need to do. Don't let them … it isn't about them." If I talk anymore, I'll break down and lose the strength that I desperately need to face the music. "I love you, Jacelynd. If this doesn't work … what I think will work … then it'll be an army coming out of there. Try to prepare yourself for it."

"We'll do everything we can out here. I love you, too." He kisses me one last time, then looks away as I leave him behind.

I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't what I see as soon as I open the slight wooden door and slide down the dirt-lined corridor. The world around me falls away and I'm enveloped by the same icky-feeling darkness I saw when I died in the mountain. At first I feel panicked by the lack of ground to orient myself, but within a few minutes I'm stabilized enough to move toward the tiny speck of white light I see in the distance.

The light expands to become a glittering black-and-silver chessboard beneath my feet. I collapse to my knees and take a moment to gain my bearings a second time.

"She will be here soon." Caen steps out of the darkness, his red cloak whipping around him like a great unfurling wind. It slivers along the floor at his feet, strangely sentient.

"I know. Why didn't you tell me who she really was?" I ask.

"It was not my place."

"Bullshit. You're supposed to be balance? You want me to believe that, but you let me think my own sister was betraying me?"

"You have no memories of your sister. It makes no difference. The reality is that you
have
been betrayed by your own flesh and blood. And you mustn't forget that I tried to keep you from this pain. I offered to take you from this place, to the hereafter, where you wouldn't have to know the sorrow of saying goodbye, or the horror of seeing the world you love destroyed." Caen reaches out his hand again.

"I'm not finished." I pull a dagger from my belt and start to approach him. The space around me violently shifts and suddenly we're in a desert, a huge golden doorway in front of us. Below the lock is a tray and I gather that's where I'm supposed to shed my blood.

"You intend to command the army yourself?" he asks.

"Patience, Caen."

I walk up to the doorway, dagger and hand, and I wait.

Finally, Iris walks up to my right. "I knew you'd come back to save Lucan, if for no other reason. Why waste all my power opening the gate when you'll do it for me?"

"I almost believed you, but you made one mistake. You were close, though, really close … but not close enough."

Iris furrows her brow.

"In the mountains, you indicated that you loved Tristan. When I dreamed of the Samhain Ball last night, something struck me. Not only did Iris
like
the idea of Tristan and me, she truly wasn't capable of doing something like this. But it occurred to me that not everyone in my family was as loyal as she was. Tell me, Mother, how long did you have to work on Iris so you could switch souls with her?"

She smiles coldly. "Not nearly as long as it would have taken you. She's stronger than you are. Always has been."

"It wasn't Tristan you were talking about. It was Nuada, wasn't it? You were supposed to marry him and he chose a stranger instead. That's why Aunt Isabelle came to Nuada's court with us instead of you. You couldn't stand to be near him. Tell me, did you really hate me before that, or only after I captured the affections of your former lover's eldest son?"

This does nothing but piss her off, which I'd planned on. She hadn't handled her temper too well in the mountain, either. "I brought us all into this world … saved us from unimaginable horror and I was thanked by changing my name and hiding me like I was an object. As if my blood was diseased. Not only did you revive centuries of my pain by marrying Jacelynd, you stole my immortality. I was never like the others. I was never mortal. Had the gift not passed on to you, I would have stayed alive."

"And that's my fault?! Why punish me? Furthermore, why punish your grandson? I realize that he represents everything awful and evil in your world because he's the product of Jacelynd and I, but still. Sick much? And let me guess, Iris is my half-sister? It would certainly explain her dark hair and how much she favors Nuada."

"Why do you think I loved her and not you?"

Ouch.
"And now you're going to make everyone pay, is that the plan … Mom? Oh, and if you really did love Iris, stealing her body was a really effed up way of showing it."

"Let's not prolong this. You think you can control the darkness … that is why you're here, isn't it, to beat me to the gate and harness the army for yourself? All with the hope of directing the army to self-destruct, of course. By all means, go ahead. The wrist is the easiest." When I don't immediately draw blood she snarls, "Stop fucking around!"

I start to place the dagger across my wrist, then close my eyes and speak to Caen so only he will hear me.
This is my lifeblood … I give it in exchange for Iris' soul.

"Do it!" my mother screams. I half expect her to lunge for me and cut my wrist herself. "Or are you afraid that they won't answer to you?"

I don't wait for a confirmation from Caen before pressing my body as far as it will go against the doorway and stabbing the blade into my neck. If this doesn't work, I'm screwed. Then again, we were about to be screwed anyway.

"No!" My mother lurches forward, clearly having figured out what my plan was, and snatches the dagger from my hands. But the cut has already been made. Blood washes over my neck and pools in the tray below the lock. "You little bitch. You are not going to ruin everything I've sacrificed for!"

"Watch me!"

I scream as she drives the blade into my ribs, right where she'd skewered me before, and I cling to the doors of the gate.
Caen, what are you waiting on? My blood for Iris' soul!

"We had an agreement!" Mother yells at Caen. "Iris cannot cross back over."

I can only free Iris' soul, Caen tells me, if I free the army that waits at the threshold. I told you, there is no escaping this.

My body, while the immortal wounds can't kill me, won't withstand much more of this. I summon every bit of courage I can and say, "Fine, Caen, then release both the army and my sister."

The gates part in such a way that it throws both my mother and me a good four feet. I land with a sickening thud, bringing my pain to an all-new high. I scramble back to my feet and race toward the gate, only to stop a second later as a blinding light shatters the horizon like an atomic bomb.

When my sight returns, I feel a lead weight in my gut as I watch a dark mass approach the threshold from beyond the doors. My mother has found her feet and is closer to the monsters than I am.

Jacelynd's words of warning come back to me, "
You can't control the darkness.
" Trinity believed that once the army crossed over, it would be too late. Even Caen himself said that death and destruction were all that remained of this world's future.

I am not Jacelynd, or Trinity or the sum of their actions. I am not my mother or my sister. I am Jesca Christianson Slate and this army,
I square my shoulders and close my eyes,
will answer to my blood!
Then I do exactly as Caen taught me to do with the energy in the mountain—I search for that single thread of rapidly growing darkness, and I pull it to a center point in my chest. My heart. It doesn't beat, not since my soul left this body in the mountains, but slowly, faintly, a rhythm begins. And like the steps of thunder when a storm rolls in, that heartbeat is timed to the steps of the demon soldiers as they start over the threshold.

"Stop!" I open my eyes and watch as the army does as I've commanded and halts at the doorway. "Let Iris through!"

Mother peels her eyes from the creatures and before I can fully comprehend what's happening, she is on top of me, a hand over my heart, reciting words that remind me of the Blood Tithe.

"I don't think so." I dig my fingers into the slender column of her throat as she leans down to bite my shoulder. With no small expenditure of energy, I manage to roll her onto her back and keep her fangs from piercing my skin. "Iris! Get your ephemeral ass over here and take back your body!"

"She can't cross the barrier," Mother hisses. "She's bound to the wall."

"No, I'm not," a voice says behind me.
The real Iris
. "Jess, you're gonna have to trust me. Press your hand over her heart."

I do as she asks, not because I'm feeling particularly trusting but because my body is weakening with each second that passes. My time is running out.

Then, while Mommy Dearest is thrashing beneath me, I
feel
Iris enter my body. Or rather, I feel her essence flow through mine. Then she leaves my body and enters her own, forcing out our mother's spirit.

I'm about to sigh in relief when my body suddenly feels like it's on fire and I'm reminded of the burns on my back. The pain rips through my muscles and pulls at my bones and joints. Like a helicopter in flight, my physical existence is trying to tear itself apart from the inside out.

"Fight her, Jess! You can't let her win or this world and your son will pay for it!" I can barely hear Iris over the roar inside my head. I feel the rage of my mother's emotions. Dark and bitter. I hear conversations between Nuada and my mother, words of adoration. I feel her sorrow and heartache over losing him to Elatha. The want to let go is strong and pulls at my consciousness like a drug.

Give in, Jessica.

I can still feel that thread of darkness … that sole tie to a world that I now understand perhaps better than even Jacelynd or Trinity. I am connected to it and I slowly realize that, like my mother, I always was. I always will be. This gift, this power, is the substance that holds it all together—this world and the next. The guardians aren't just balance. Blake was wrong, my blood isn't a key … it's true equilibrium.

Give in, Jessica.

I see goodness and light too pure for mortals. I see evil and despair so dark no immortal world could withstand it.

You're too weak for this! Give in!

"No-o-o-o-o!" I heave a final glass-shattering scream and surge to my feet, both arms held above my head, as if I'm literally grabbing the air for strength. I turn to face the army. "Go back to hell where you belong, and take my mother's soul with you!" Time slows to a crawl and the turning of the forces of good and evil are almost tangible. The scale tilts and as swiftly as the energy overtook me, it falls away, and soon I'm left on my hands and knees, fighting to breathe.

"Your child is safe," Iris rasps. "The promise was made using my lifeblood and with her gone, the promise is null and void."