Icing on the Cake (Close to Home) (22 page)

Until then, she had to pull it together. She couldn’t let Nia see her this way. Especially now. Nia would be stressed enough, worrying about Curtis for Conn’s sake.

Sara didn’t need a heart-to-heart anyway. What was the point? Blubbering about emotions wouldn’t change anything. It’d been a long, bumpy road, but she’d allowed herself to love three living people—Nia, Meredith and Peter. That was hard enough, knowing they could leave her, permanently, at any moment. She couldn’t love anybody else. Wouldn’t.

The first day she’d met Curtis, she’d accused him of being a cliché. He’d countered with, “There’s a reason clichés exist, babe. They work.”

She hoped he was right, because she had one that needed to work—
out of sight, out of mind
. And she would put as much time and distance as necessary between her and Curtis to make it come true.

Curtis took the stairs in Sara’s building two at a time. He’d driven like a madman to get here after making quick calls to his family to let them know he was okay. Conn had offered to let Sara know. Save Curtis any awkwardness, since he’d heard about their breakup.

Not so long ago that would’ve raised his hackles. He didn’t get to the girlfriend stage all that often, and when those relationships ended, they ended. His choice. No looking back.

His relationship with Sara didn’t fit in that box. It was wild, addictive, combative, and messy as hell. And it was not over.

He stepped into the fourth-floor hallway. A few sprinted steps and he stood at her freshly painted door. A shiny new lock had been installed at some point too. He’d figured she would come back here after what happened between them this morning. At the time, he’d been too furious to try to stop her. He hadn’t even been sure he wanted to. Now he knew differently.

He knocked harder than necessary, given the late hour and size of her apartment. To hell with subtlety or patience. “Let me in, I need to talk to you.”

To his surprise, the door opened immediately. Sara stood back from the entrance, not motioning him inside, but not telling him off either. He stepped in and closed the door, turning the new deadbolt in the process. She threw her arms around his neck the second the lock clicked. Hadn’t seen that coming, but he’d take it.

“I hate you right now. I wish I’d never met you.” The hitch in her voice contradicted the harsh statements. So did her body pressed tight against his.

“I know.” He got it. He’d seen plenty of his fellow officers’ relationships fall apart because of this kind of strain.

Since they met, Sara had tried repeatedly to push him away. To insist she didn’t care about him. He’d thought it was part of her independent-to-the-extreme personality. He hadn’t realized the deeper truth of it until he read her book. Until he was crouched behind a cruiser with a 9mm Smith & Wesson in his hands, searching for a shooter who could be anywhere, including training a gun on
him
.

The stubborn, independent woman with figurative balls of steel had cultivated those traits to keep people at a safe distance. To protect herself from further loss after her parents died.

If she needed to hate him right now, he’d let her. But that wouldn’t stop him from everything else he’d come here to do. Starting with kissing her.

He cupped her face in his palms and sealed their mouths together. Her hands moved to his chest, pushing at first, then clawing at his buttons and tugging his shirt from his pants. His uniform hit the floor, along every other piece of clothing they wore.

“I want it hard,” she said as they tumbled onto her futon.

“Good thing.” He pushed her legs against her tits and bore down on her, burying his cock inside her with one thrust. “Because that’s how it’s going to be.” He pulled out, then filled her again. “So you remember, always, who you belong to.”

She struggled against him. “Don’t say that.”

“Get used to it.” He caught her wrists and pinned them above her head. “You’re mine. All mine and only mine.” He crushed his lips against hers, fucking her mouth with his tongue as he rocked in and out of her writhing body.

She moaned her surrender, tipping her hips to take him deeper. She sucked his tongue, circling it with hers. She tasted like heaven.

He pushed deeper, rolling his hips and grinding hard to hit her hot spots. Her body jerked in response, throwing off his rhythm as she found her own.

“Come for me, babe.” He whispered the words against her lips while giving her more pressure, more friction. “I need you to come with me.”

Every inch of her shook. Her mouth beneath his. Her wrists in his palms, her thighs against his chest, her pussy around his cock.

“Jesus… You’re so beautiful, you feel so fucking good…” Heat raced up from his balls, lighting him up like a bonfire as he came. Fucking amazing. So tight and hot and— Bare.

He truly owned her now. For better or worse.

He released her wrists and eased up enough for her to get her legs down. His cock slid from her body in the process, but he didn’t move. He just held himself there—his sweaty forehead pressed to hers, his damp, spent cock against her thigh.

He’d already had so much to say to her. Now this too. Shit, where to start?

“Don’t worry, you won’t catch anything from me,” she said, beating him to it. “I get checked out regularly and believe it or not, I’ve never had unprotected sex.”

“Same.”

“Guess that makes us virgins. Well, until five minutes ago. I’ve never done a virgin before. You were pretty good.” She tried for one of her saucy smiles, looking away when the attempt morphed into a frown. “That was the last time, lawman. I can’t be with you again.”

“And I can’t be
without
you.” He shook his head when she tried squirming free. “Not letting you go, princess.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why?” He’d bet the farm he knew the answer. “Because somebody important used to call you that?”

“Stop.”

“I won’t. You know why? Because I want you to tell me everything. Really tell me, directly. I want to hear about your parents, the ones that came before Peter and Meredith. I want to see your beautiful smile when you tell me the happy stuff. I want to hold you while you cry about the sad parts.”

“Why?” she whispered, on the verge of tears now.

Gently, he cupped her chin and turned her head, forcing her to meet his eyes. “I’ve been in dangerous situations before, but I’ve never been scared like I was today. The shooter had put bullets in two civilians and two officers. Nobody knew where he’d gone—he could’ve been in a bush behind me, for all I knew.”

“I don’t want to hear this.”

“You have to, princess. You need to know. Times like that, you always wonder if this is the day you’re going down. The day you take a bullet somewhere the vest doesn’t cover. I don’t have a secret death wish, but I’ve never been afraid to die until today.”

Her head shook in his hand. Unable to look away, she pinched her eyes closed.

Fine. He didn’t need her to see him. Just to listen. “All I could think about was you. That if something happened to me, you’d spend the rest of your life thinking I was angry. Thinking I’d judged you and walked out of your life.”

“You did,” she said, meeting his gaze again.

“I was, and I did. But you already knew I can be a hotheaded idiot.” He softened his hold and stroked his thumb across her quivering bottom lip. “I was scared shitless today because of what you didn’t know, the thing I couldn’t die without telling you. I’m falling in love with you.”

“You can’t be. You don’t even know me.”

“I don’t know all the details, but I do know
you
.”

“That’s why I have to go, Curtis,” she whispered. “I’m leaving in the morning.”

“For where?”

“Back to my parents’, for now. While I regroup, figure out what to do with my life. This being-a-responsible-grownup shit really sucks ass.”

In the middle of the most serious conversation of his life and she managed to make him chuckle. “Stay here and figure it out. With me. Let’s find out how many ways you can make me crazy. How many ways I can piss you off and calm you down. I want to count how many times you call me ‘dude’ before admitting you’re in love with me too.”

Her lips curved into a beautiful smile—briefly. She wiggled free of him, and this time, he let her. She slid to one end of the small futon and hugged her knees to her chest. “It’ll never work. It can’t. I’m a walking, breathing disaster zone who ruins everything. And you’re not much better, honestly. I mean, look at you—you have a ‘Nothing is Forever’ tattoo. This is real life, not a stupid chick flick with a fairytale ending. I’m not going to run into your arms and we live happily ever after.”

“Don’t run to me, run with me. For as long as it lasts.”

“I can’t do it.”

“Because you don’t have the right shoes?” he asked, tossing a nod at the row of sexy footwear against a wall. The joke didn’t garner even a hint of a smile. “Hey.” He shifted down the futon and wrapped his arms around her. “We don’t have to figure everything out tonight. Just don’t run away.”

She swiped her fingers across her cheeks and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his jaw. “Thanks for not dying today.”

Humor. Definitely a good sign. “Thanks for not killing me when I acted like a supreme ass at your workplace.”

“It’s no longer my workplace. The owner showed up while a guy was propositioning me at the front desk. She told me it was time to ‘move up or move out.’ I chose the pink slip.”

Shit. Thank god he knew how to switch on his show-no-emotion cop face. He’d asked Jake to go in there next week, see if Sara was still at the desk or if she was hanging out in the lounge as a massage attendant. Apparently Jake had misunderstood—or made a little alteration to the plan. Either way, Curtis was going to have some explaining to do before she officially met his buddy.

“Can’t say I’m sorry you’re out of that place.” He glanced around her apartment. “Or that I’m happy you’re back in this one. Come home with me. I don’t know if I can sleep without you glued to my side, drooling on my chest.”

“Whatever, dude. I do neither of those things.”

“I’ll add that to my tally,” he said, and she smiled. A small one. He’d still take it. He stood and offered his hand, but she shook her head.

“I need to be alone. To think.”

The tension that’d begun to settle swirled to life in his gut. He didn’t want to leave her alone—and it had nothing to do with her safety. This wasn’t the night to dig in for a fight or throw her over his shoulder and carry her out. That left one option—respecting her request.

“Okay.” He grabbed his uniform from the floor. Zipped and buttoned everything into place while she watched from the huddled position she’d maintained. He crouched in front of her, brushing the hair back from her face for a better look at those mesmerizing eyes. “Lock up as soon as I’m out the door.”

“I will.”

He leaned in for one more taste of her sweet lips. “Don’t forget what I told you tonight.”

“I won’t.”

He straightened and moved to the door, hating every step. “See you soon.”

She didn’t say okay. Not good night or anything else either. Just waved goodbye.

*

Saying he woke with the dawn wouldn’t be entirely correct. A person had to sleep in order to wake up, and he’d barely closed his eyes all night. He’d actually gotten out of bed and put on clothes twice. Once he’d gone as far as the parking lot.

Just because he’d figured everything out didn’t mean Sara had. She’d wanted to be alone, needed time to think. He didn’t cling and she’d push him away if he’d tried. He’d had no choice other than to comply.

He’d told her he’d see her soon, but six in the morning might be pushing it. If he went out for a run he’d end up at her door. Ditto if he headed for the gym. Patience wasn’t his greatest asset when he wanted something, and he couldn’t think of a time when he’d wanted anything as much as Sara.

Must’ve been how Conn felt when he realized he’d fallen for Nia, but Nia was still resisting a commitment. Weren’t women supposed to go weak in the knees when a man professed his love? Goddamn difficult sisters.

Curtis pulled his cell off the bedside table and tapped in Conn’s cell number. One of the many advantages of having a carpenter brother—his day started bloody early, making him safe to call at what most people would deem an insane hour.

“Early bird catches the bad guy?” Conn said by way of answering.

“Been there, done that.” Not personally, which he was fine with. The last thing on his mind yesterday had been the glory of apprehending a trigger-happy shooter. Getting out of the situation without taking a bullet so he could get to Sara had been his singular goal.

“Trouble sleeping because of the adrenaline?”

“I guess that’s part of it.” Made sense, of course. Curtis hadn’t even considered it while tossing and turning.

“How about the other part—did you get a chance to talk to her last night?”

“Yeah.”

“You want to do the twenty-questions thing, we’ll go out for a beer later. You call me at six in the morning, you’re going to have to expedite the conversation.”

He had some good buddies, but nobody beat his brother. Especially for the real stuff—like admitting you hung it all out there with a woman. “I told her I love her.”

A noise that sounded like Conn spitting coffee came through the phone. “Whoa. I did not see that coming. What’d she say?”

“She didn’t return the sentiment.”

“Ouch.”

“Nah, I know how she feels. It’s just going to take some time to get her to admit it.”

“You sure this is love, not the thrill of an impossible challenge? Listen, I’m not siding against you, but I have to put you on notice—you fuck with Sara’s emotions and I will kick your ass on behalf of every member of her family, living and dead.”

Curtis didn’t have a chance to answer before Nia’s voice in the background distracted his brother from the conversation.

“Shit. She didn’t. Shit.” Conn’s heavy sigh filled the connection. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she’s gone.”