If I Can't Have You (If You Come Back To Me #3) (13 page)

Colleen glanced furtively at the back of the boat. She could hear the children talking excitedly on the other side.

“I told you. I’m not ready to be in a relationship. Besides, haven’t we already established that you don’t take your relationships seriously anyway?”

He grimaced in obvious frustration and took a step toward her. Her breath caught when he reached for her hand. “Didn’t we cover this? I do take it seriously. Very seriously.”

For a moment, her entire awareness resided just beneath his thumb stroking her wrist below the ridge of her palm. She blinked, forcing her sluggish brain back to its logical task.

“You take
sex
seriously. I don’t want to be in a casual sexual relationship,” she whispered.

“You have to give me a chance, Colleen. I’ll go at your pace, but you have to let me in, just a little. Maybe it’ll become more than just attraction, if you let it.”

She rolled her eyes. “You don’t really buy that. Not you. Not the Great Disbeliever.”

“I’m beginning to really wish we could start this whole thing over again,” he grated out between a clenched jaw.

“Well, we can’t,” she whispered feelingly.

“Sure, we can.”

His eyes looked hot. The lines of his face were rigid, making him appear almost fearsome in his determination. She found herself leaning into him, as helpless as a planet feeling the magnetic pull of a burning star.

Chapter Seven

T
hey were interrupted by a shout from Brendan.

“Mom, you gotta see the leather seats…and check out these instruments!” Brendan called ecstatically. The angle of her son’s voice made it clear Brendan had somehow boosted himself into the air to look down into the boat.

“Excuse me,” Colleen murmured abashedly, extricating her wrist from his hold. Had she really just almost made out with Eric Reyes with her children fifteen feet away? He watched her from beneath a lowered brow. His face looked impassive, but his eyes spoke to her in concise shorthand.

He desired her, and more than a little bit. And Eric Reyes wasn’t the type of man to want something more than a little bit and not get it.

She wanted him, as well. She found him more and more attractive every minute she spent with him.

But Colleen knew she wasn’t the type of woman to sleep with a man just because she found him attractive. Sexual attraction was nice. Lust was nice. But she was accustomed to more. She really didn’t have the energy required for a fling, not with a demanding job and two children to raise.

“I think he’s been climbing again. Crutches and all,” Colleen said, starting to move around the boat.

Her words seemed to finally break Eric’s intensity.

“Brendan, hold on and stay put!” he called loudly as they both hustled around the boat. Sure enough, her son had managed to pull himself onto the trailer and was lying across the side of the boat, his chest and arms out of sight, the padded, blue cover of his bandaged foot waving around in mid-air. Eric fleetly climbed up on the trailer and assisted Brendan back onto solid ground.

Afterward, he invited them inside, saying they could order Chinese food, a plan which her children heartily supported. However, the spell Eric tended to weave around her in intimate moments had been broken. Brendan’s little misadventure had reminded her of the risks involved in climbing too high. It was nice to consider the fact that a handsome, smart, virile man like Eric desired her, but she was a practical woman, a mother with a hectic work and family life. And while Eric inspired that bewildering sense of longing inside of her—in spades—Colleen didn’t entirely trust that feeling.

Sure, impassioned romance could get you into a heart-thumping, weak-kneed relationship like Marc and Mari or Liam and Natalie shared. But the higher you climbed, the harder you fell when the bad stuff happened…things like rejection, infidelity…death.

Colleen was too wise, too cautious at this point in her adult life to risk climbing too high and exposing her heart to a man like Eric Reyes.

She managed to avoid him for the better part of two weeks. They saw each other at The Family Center and for a few wedding-planning engagements. Colleen was proud, however, that she’d managed to keep her distance from him in an emotional sense.

It hadn’t been an easy feat to accomplish, especially since her family seemed increasingly invested in their friendship with Eric. Despite her initial hostility toward him, her mother’s regard for him seemed to grow every day. Brigit had taken to seeking out his opinion about a charity she was involved with at the hospital. Between Eric’s sound advice in regard to the charity, his relationship to Brigit’s future daughter-in-law, his obvious generosity and care in regard to the wedding plans and his excellent treatment of her grandson, he could do no wrong in Brigit’s estimation.

Brigit had now asked Colleen—twice—to ask Eric if he’d like to come over for a family dinner. It was starting to set her on edge.

She chatted with him amiably enough during their encounters, making a point not to notice either the awareness in his eyes or how they occasionally flashed with annoyance when she made sure they were never left alone.

She was following her avoidance strategy one Saturday afternoon while Liam, Natalie, Eric and she were meeting at Holy Name Cathedral with the wedding planner and florist. It was a cold, miserable November day. Lake-effect snow was predicted that evening, but currently rain fell heavily on the steeple roof above them.

She and Natalie strolled down the right aisle while the florist pointed out locations for various arrangements. Her attention, though, was on Eric as she watched him talk and laugh with Delores Shaffner in the center aisle. Why had Liam and Natalie seen fit to hire such a pretty young woman as a wedding planner?

And how did Eric always come off so cool while he was flirting so outrageously?

He didn’t lean toward Delores, and his eyes didn’t look particularly sultry at that moment, but the women’s rights activists of the world ought to propose that smirk be made illegal. That little smile could make the smartest of women into a giggling airhead in about two seconds flat. Colleen grimaced like she’d just bitten into something sour when she heard Delores’s church-inappropriate shriek of laughter in response to some comment Eric made.

“Do you think Delores is a little…ditzy?” Colleen whispered to Natalie as the florist measured the altar.

Natalie blinked and followed Colleen’s gaze. “Not really. She’s been very organized and helpful so far, don’t you think?”

“That’s before her status as a smart, rational woman was revoked by your brother.”

“What?” Natalie asked. Colleen was saved the shame of having to repeat her sullen words when Liam walked up the aisle. His dark blond hair was damp, and he was carefully removing a wet, black police-issue raincoat.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, leaning down to kiss Natalie. Natalie brushed some of the raindrops out of his short, tousled hair. Liam smiled and gave her an even more enthusiastic kiss. “Someone got stuck in floodwaters on Route 11,” he said a few seconds later. “We just got her out a few minutes ago. It’s going to be a mess later, when the temperature drops,” he murmured, his forehead pressed against Natalie’s. “I have a feeling I’m going to be working for most of the night.”

Natalie repressed her obvious disappointment, smiled and started to lead Liam toward the florist, but he paused.

“Is Father Mike around? He’s got a two-foot-deep swimming pool in the south parking lot. When it freezes later, it’ll be a skating rink. Just wanted to make sure he knew before mass tomorrow. I’ll block off the lot for him, if he wants, but I thought I should ask him about it first.”

“He was here when we arrived, but he said he had an appointment in his office,” Colleen replied.

Liam nodded. Colleen walked toward Eric and Delores as Natalie and Liam went to consult with the florist. She lifted her chin as she neared the pair, determined to ignore the way Delores looked at Eric like she was considering taking a bite out of him.

Eric glanced up and met her stare. He’d come to their meeting at the church from work and looked carelessly attractive in a pair of brown dress pants, a button-down shirt, a loosened tie and a sport coat, his overcoat slung in the crook of his arm.

“Is everything okay?” he asked her. “I heard Liam say something about flooding and closing the parking lot.”

“Yes, you didn’t park in the south lot, did you? Liam says it’s filling up with water.”

He shook his head. “No, I parked in the north lot. Next to you.”

“And I parked next to you,” Delores said, catching Eric’s gaze. “I
love
your car.”

Irritation spiked through Colleen at Delores’s words, at her prettiness…at her
presence
. “A couple more weddings like this one, and you ought to be driving one like it in no time flat,” Eric said.

Delores’s laugh was meant to captivate. Much to Colleen’s satisfaction, however, Eric’s gaze flickered back to her face.

“Are you getting him used to the center aisle of a church, Delores?” she teased lightly, trying to banish her immature annoyance. Eric could flirt with every woman on the planet, for all she cared. What difference should it make to her? “I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a phobia toward it—when it comes to weddings, anyway.”

“He better get used to it! He’s giving Natalie away,” Delores said.

“I’m getting used to the idea…slowly.”

Colleen arched her brows. “Nice and easy does the trick, I suppose,” she said quietly.

She blinked when Delores looped her wrist through the crook of Eric’s bent arm. “Maybe I better walk with you up the aisle a few times. I suspect you’re one of those men who requires practice beyond the wedding rehearsal.”

Colleen’s spine stiffened. Maybe Delores wasn’t ditzy, but she definitely had nerve. She had to remind herself that her fantasies about ways to get rid of Delores’s insipid smile were highly inappropriate in a place of worship.

“Actually, I think I’ll do my practicing in the other direction, if you don’t mind,” Eric said mildly, turning his head toward the back of the church. “I see Father Mike, and I need to have a word with him about something. Would you mind coming with me?” Eric asked Colleen.

Delores gave an uncomfortable laugh and withdrew her arm. Eric extended his freed hand toward Colleen. He ignored her wariness, of course, and touched the back of her waist when she walked alongside him. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to snarl at him for the proprietary gesture or purr in a satisfied manner that he’d touched her so familiarly in front of Delores’s narrowed stare.

“What do we have to talk to Father Mike for?” Colleen asked quietly as they approached the back of the church.

“I wanted to ask him about the musical accompaniment for the singer I hired.”

She heard the sound of children’s voices and realized for the first time that Father Mike wasn’t alone. He was escorting her friend, Ellen Rappoport, and Ellen’s two children. They paused near the front doors. Ellen was talking earnestly with the elderly priest while her children—Nathan, age eight, and Melanie, age ten—waited for their mother. It must have been Ellen and the kids whom Father Mike had said he needed to meet with in his office earlier, Colleen realized. She and Eric came to a standstill several feet away, not wanting to intrude.

Melanie glanced around her mother and met Colleen’s eye.

“Hi!” the girl called, her thin, somber face lighting up with a grin. She immediately walked over to give Colleen a hug.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Colleen responded warmly. It did her heart good to see the girl smile. Melanie and Nathan had seemed so serious and sad since Cody, their adoptive father, had left. “I’m sorry Ellen, Father Mike,” she apologized as Ellen, Nathan and Father Mike approached them. “We didn’t mean to interrupt. Eric wanted to speak with you, Father.”

“We were just finishing up,” Father Mike said amiably.

“No problem at all,” Ellen assured him, giving Colleen a quick hug. “I’m glad to see you. We haven’t spoken since the engagement party. I know I told you before, but you two did a wonderful job with it,” Ellen said kindly, including Eric in her glance. “Are you here about Liam’s wedding?”

“Yes. We had a meeting with the florist and wedding planner.”

Eric hadn’t met Ellen’s children, so Colleen introduced him. She began catching up with Ellen and the kids while Eric and Father Mike stepped a few feet away and addressed Eric’s question. At one point in their chat, Ellen and Nathan became involved in unfastening Nathan’s stuck coat zipper. Melanie looked up earnestly at Colleen, the two of them somewhat isolated from the others for a brief moment.

“We were meeting with Father Mike because Dad…Cody, I mean, hasn’t been around to see Nathan and me since he moved out,” Melanie told Colleen in a hushed tone.

A rush of compassion went through her when she saw the girl’s careworn expression. Melanie was an especially bright girl who seemed older than her ten years.

“That’s a good idea for you three to talk to someone. I’ll bet Cody’s leaving is making you and Nathan really sad.”

“Nathan won’t say it out loud, but I can tell it’s really bothering him.”

“And you?” Colleen prompted softly. Melanie nodded in agreement.

“Did it help, talking to Father Mike?”

“Yeah. I was starting to feel…you know, really bad about myself because both my father and Cody left. I thought maybe it was something I did…something about me. But my mom said no way. Father Mike told me that love from parents is very, very important. He said God would never stop loving me for a second, and neither would my mom. He said that the real challenge was for me to keep on loving myself, no matter what difficult things happened to me in life.”

“He’s a smart man, Father Mike. You’re a smart girl with your own unique gifts to give the world. Life will go on, Melanie. You’ll see.” She ruffled Melanie’s hair as they shared a meaningful glance. Colleen’s head turned when Eric stepped beside her. He did a double take.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking confused and concerned as he focused on Colleen’s face.

“Of course,” she answered, suddenly feeling self-conscious under Eric’s stare. He must have read the compassion and sympathy she’d been experiencing for Melanie. He really was a mind reader.

“So, Melanie, when might be a good time over the holidays for your mom and me to take all you kids to the indoor water park?” Colleen asked, neatly turning the subject. She felt Eric’s gaze on her intermittently for the next few minutes as their small party was joined by Liam, Natalie and Delores.

She should have known she couldn’t avoid Eric for long, however. He called out to her after they’d finished their business in the church and she was on her way to her car.