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Authors: Aubrey Bailey

Tags: #romance

If I Never Knew You (If I Never Knew You Series) (10 page)

BOOK: If I Never Knew You (If I Never Knew You Series)
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"More work?" Orion exclaimed, starting to sound bitter. I was beginning to think he wasn't buying the work excuse.

"Something along those lines."

"Well, whatever," Orion said, now sounding defeated. I closed my eyes tightly to stop from crying. "Guess I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah," I said. I hung up the phone and then agonized over what I had just done. Why was I such a wimp about Damian? I needed to tell him the truth and let the shit hit the fan. We would break up and then Orion and I could be together.

It had been two weeks and I was back to being a workaholic. I worked all the time again and when I wasn't doing that, I was with Damian. I ignored all of Orion' calls and avoided him as much as possible. I was so glad that the restaurant was packed every time he came in.

I rarely saw Andy, too. After the first few days, he stopped coming by the restaurant every day for lunch. My boss didn't really pick up on anything, but Jen sure did. She didn't know anything about what was going on, but she picked up on my mood change and the fact that my brother wasn't around as much. I did double shifts like crazy, working around twelve hours a day, every day. One day I actually went to work at seven in the morning and stayed until three the next morning. My mother, who usually stayed out of my work decisions, became worried and asked me what was going on. I didn't tell her the truth about my feelings towards Damian and Orion-she was fond of Orion and wanted him to move in-so I lied and said that the Wayside was short staffed.

I tried to avoid Damian as much as I could, but one evening he decided that we should go to my uncle's club.

Lo and behold, Orion's band was playing. And I had to sit through three songs perched on Damian's knee with his damn possessive arm wrapped tightly around me and my eyes watching the crowd rather than the band, just to be safe.

"How's everyone tonight?" Orion asked into the microphone. A cheer erupted and I glanced up at him to see a forced smile on his face. "Well, here's another new song. I haven't written one in a while, but I've gotten the inspiration back." Another cheer broke out through the crowd. Orion continued, "She's been gone for a while now, and I can't get her out of my mind." Unlike last time, he didn't announce the name of the song, as it just started up.

It was a slower song that started off with Orion singing. He sang about a girl who had grown distant from him and how sorry he was to see them drift apart. It didn't take long at all to figure out it was about me. When it ended, I was practically in tears. I just had to look at Orion, didn't I? I could have sworn I saw a tear rolling down his cheek as well. He looked at me, then he turned around to look at his band and there was some discussion.

"Can we go, please?" I asked, turning around to look at Damian. He smiled, as if pleased or something. I guess I did something right. Was it the way I asked? Anyway, I got my wish and we left, but not before I caught Orion's eye once more.

I walked backstage after watching Madison leave with Damian. Andy was also backstage, having watched the show from back there. I had decided not to move in with Madison and her family because Madison was never home now. Madison's mom, Barbara, agreed that I could pay for Andy's driving test, so I took him to the testing place and he passed with a perfect score. I know he was trying to be brave and act like it didn't bother him that his sister was oblivious to his achievement due to her crazy work schedule, but I knew it did.

Andy complained about being alone so much at home sometimes. He had nightmares too, he had told me. Which was why I thought it would be a good idea if he came down to the Knightsbridge Tavern that night. I spent as much time as I could with him, even altering my work schedule at the library, so that I could make up for the hole that Madison left in his life.

I gave up calling Madison's phone after the first week. She didn't answer, anyway. I wanted to be eternally angry at her, especially when I saw her for the first time in two weeks this night. It took a few seconds to recognize her because she had dyed her hair red, but when I did, I had to sing the songs I wrote about her. I wasn't planning to sing them, but something just came over me when I saw her with Damian.

She looked emotionally and physically worn out. I'd never seen her eyes look so hollow, so soulless. It was like she was a husk of her former self. I had spotted her a few times at Wayside, which I hadn't gone to in over a week now, and she seemed to be walking around like a zombie. I found out from Andy, who found out from one of the cooks named Jen, that Madison was working double shifts almost every day.

I came to the conclusion that maybe there was something going on with Damian that we weren't aware of. Maybe extra work was her only escape from him, which would be why she had been pushing herself so hard with all the double shifts. And then there were the bruises. She seemed to always have bruises on her arms that Andy said she blamed on work. I was going to kill Damian if he was responsible for those!

When we got back to the house, there was a note on the door with Andy's name on it.

"It's Madison's writing!" Andy said, grabbing the note and tearing it open. This time he didn't try to hide it. As he read, tears sprang into his eyes. Finally he handed the note over to me and ran up the stairs to his room.

Dear Andy,

I am so sorry for everything. Please know that I'm not trying to avoid you. God, I've messed up so much, and there's no way to fix it now.

Please know that I want to be with you. Like I said, I'm not trying to avoid you. I'm trying to keep Damian away. It's gotten worse. I can't tell you because I don't want you to worry more than you should. Please be brave for me, Andy. I'm so very sorry for missing your birthday and I hope you passed your test.

My days are filled with work and my nights are filled with Damian. If I were to count the number of hours I slept these last two weeks, I don't think it would be half the amount I should have. There's so much more I want to tell you, but I don't want you to worry and I don't want you to risk getting hurt.

Never forget that I love you and Mom so much. She's so sweet and gentle, and I don't want her to know anything ugly about my life, either. You're my baby brother and you mean the world to me.

Love you,

Madison

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

MY MOM WOULD always say, "You never appreciate what you have until it's gone." Well, in my case it's a little different. I knew what I had before it was gone. And now that it was gone, I was tearing myself apart.

I saw Andy at the restaurant the day after I left him the note, but I refused to tell him anything else. I couldn't. Not with what Damian had declared. Andy did cry a bit, and I wanted to cry too, but I was all out of tears. I had become calloused and cold, and it almost didn't hurt to see him that way. He told me that Orion had been seeing him a lot since his birthday and that made me feel better. I took comfort in knowing that Orion was keeping him company and bonding with him when I couldn't and Mom was visiting Aunt Cheryl.

For the next month, I saw Andy every other day at the restaurant. I made a couple of deals to get myself a forty-five minute break so that I could hang out with him. It just meant staying later, which really helped the staff, so there was no problem with that. And then, I started feeling sick quite a lot. That freaked me out a lot. Not because I had never been sick before or anything, but because it didn't feel like normal sickness. Then I looked at a calendar and that just made me feel worse.

Like I expected, I was late. I didn't know what I was going to do. It was like High School all over again. It had happened a couple times before, but luckily, my periods started after a few days. However, this time, I was nauseated quite a few mornings and something just felt different.

Work confirmed it. I knew what pregnancy brought on: an ultrasensitive sense of smell. I knew the kitchen smelled greasy, but I had gotten used to it. Now however, it was making me want to throw up. Jen came to my rescue, as usual. She bought me a pregnancy test and stood outside the bathroom door while I did it. And then, yet again, I cried. If this was pregnancy, I hated it.

On top of it all, I had no clue who the father was. I mean, I thought it might be Damian, but it all depended on how far along I was. There was a chance that it could be Orion, right? Once again, Jen helped me out. She got me an appointment with the doctor at our local clinic and she somehow managed to convince our boss to let me have the morning off.

"You're just about two months along," the doctor said, looking at me as if he were wondering what my reaction would be.

Two months; that meant it was more than likely Orion's baby. I couldn't decide if that made things better or worse. I wanted it to be Orion's, but if it was, what was I going to do about Damian? He would assume that it was
his
baby.

"You make sure she tells her parents," the doctor said, looking over at Jen.

Once he left the room, I asked Jen, "What did you tell him?"

"I said you were my niece. There is no way I would be able to pass as your mom. I'm too close to your age."

"You're thirty," I said.

"And you're eighteen. That would mean I'd have been twelve when you were born," Jen replied, with amusement.

After stopping for fast food, we went back to Wayside. I thanked Jen again and started working, but all afternoon I could not get the thought of having a baby out of my mind. At first I thought I might get rid of it. But then I thought about Orion and me starting a family, getting married, and having our own place. There was only one real solution: Damian-not the baby-would have to go!

That night, I arrived home to find Mom relaxing in the living room. I decided not to say anything to her, at least not until I had settled my relationships involving the two men in my life. After a quick chat, I took a shower and looked at myself in the mirror. Nothing seemed different, so far. I turned and looked at myself from the side. Besides a bit of fluid retention, there were no major differences. I would probably not start rounding until three months or something like that, which meant that I had a month to get my life in order.

BOOK: If I Never Knew You (If I Never Knew You Series)
10.64Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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