If I Say Yes (15 page)

“I thought this isn’t a date?” Reid smiles, his eyes quickly returning
to his softer shade of black.

“It isn’t,” I answer quickly.

“It’s okay. I should have expected that.” He pauses for a moment.
“You’re right, my track record with you, or in the tabloids, isn’t a good
one. I’ll be honest. I really did think of women as only an accessory.”

“What changed?” I ask softly.

“I met you.” I gaze into his eyes, searching for any trace of a lie,
but I can’t find anything. He doesn’t falter, and I note the sincerity in his
voice. “It really is hard breaking away from what I am used to doing.”

“And what’s that? Objectifying women by how nice they make
you look when you parade them on your arm?” Reid nods slightly. I shouldn’t have said it, but sometimes I can’t control myself around him. “Yeah, that’s a bad habit you need to break.”

Reid laughs. The waitress is back with our food, and we eat in silence.
Every time one of us moves to grab our drinks, our arms touch and
send a jolt of energy throughout my body. Reid’s finished before I am,
and he sits silently, waiting for me. With his eyes on me, watching me
as I chew and swallow my food, I feel nervous. I push the plate away,
my burger half eaten and a pile of fries remaining. The diner is slowly
beginning to clear out, and before I know it, we are the only ones left except for the staff.

Reid moves, sliding out of the booth, and I watch him walk over to the jukebox on the other side of the diner. He puts in some coins,
chooses a song, and gives it a thump on the top with his wrist. The
jukebox comes alive.
The Way You Look Tonight
by the one and only
Frank Sinatra begins to fill the air. As he walks back, everything seems
to be moving in slow motion. The way his body glides across the floor,
his hand extending out to me and inviting me to join him. I hesitate
only long enough to place my napkin on the table.

He pulls me close. One hand wraps around my waist, and the
other grasps my hand firmly in his. We say nothing as we begin to
dance around the diner, and the room fades away behind us. We somehow
manage to avoid bumping into any tables and chairs as he
leads us all over the diner. Our eyes are locked onto one another. Being
this close, I can tell his scent is slightly different than his usual sweet,
musky cologne. Instead, he smells a bit woodsy, like a forest right after
a downpour of rain, mixed with a touch of aftershave. The perfect
balance; he smells heavenly. I let his scent fill me, surrounding me as he holds me tightly in his arms.

The song is coming to an end, and right on cue, he dips me back.
One of my feet lifts off the ground and dangles in the air. My hair flows
behind me and almost grazes the ground. Reid’s lips are close to mine,
so close that I think he is going to kiss me. And in this moment, I hope
he does. His lips are almost on mine, so close, just a little bit closer.
And just like that, I’m standing back up and in the real world. The
fantasy is over. The diner comes back into view, the sound of dishes
being washed clatter in the background, and I can hear the staff
chattering loudly.

“I-I-I, uh, I need to use the restroom,” I say quickly. I pull out of his arms, turn, and rush off into the direction of the bathroom.

I splash cold water on my face and sigh. I stare at my reflection
in the mirror.
What the hell, Liza?
The sound of a toilet flushing startles
me. I cry out and jump away from the mirror. Our waitress, Sally,
comes out of the stall with a wide grin across her face. “That was quite
the dance in there,” she says as she begins to wash her hands. I simply
nod my head. “Whatever your reservations are about this man… toss
them aside. He’s just as crazy about you as you are about him. I can
see it in both your eyes.”

She leaves me standing alone in the bathroom, thinking on what she just said. She has no idea what she is talking about. I’m not crazy
about him. As much as Reid tries to tell me, and himself, he’s not really
crazy about me— not in that sense. He only thinks he is, because I’m
the first woman who hasn’t fallen for his charm. Or at least that’s what
I keep telling myself. I take a deep breath and sigh loudly.

You can do this…

Reid is sitting back at our table when I emerge from the bathroom,
and he quickly stands up when he sees me. Something seems off about
him. I don’t know what it is, but he seems to be hesitant. I put on my best pageant-like smile and walk towards him slowly. He scans the
room, runs a hand through his hair, and I know that something is
definitely bothering him. I can see it in his eyes. “Hey,” I say softly as
I approach the table.

“Hey,” his voice is softer than mine. “Why don’t you let me drive
you home?”

I pause just for the briefest of moments. “I can’t leave my car here.”

“I’ll have one of my men drive it home.” I open my mouth to protest,
but Reid stops me. “I want to show you something.”

I CAN’T SAY
no to that.

So instead, I nod my head in agreement. Reid smiles, but it doesn’t
quite reach his eyes. His fists clench at his side, and I can feel the nerves
rolling off of him like a tidal wave. He gestures his arm towards the
door, I hold my hands in front of me, and I walk towards the door first.
Reid follows closely, but it’s not close enough. I want his soft hand in
mine again like it was when we danced. He is quick to open the door for
me. I smile and head towards his car parked next to mine. Once again,
he opens the door for me, hesitating for a split second before closing it behind me and jogging around the front to the driver’s side.

The car starts up with a purr, so low you can barely hear it. Reid
eases the car into reverse and turns toward the direction of Long Port.
Soft music fills the air. Something I am all too familiar with and my heart clenches. “I didn’t know you listened to Vivaldi,” I say softly.

“Like I said, there are a lot about me that you don’t know,” he
replies, staring straight out at the road. He grips the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles are turning white.

I lean my head against the cool window. In the side view mirror,
I can see my car off in the distance following us. On the open road,
Reid accelerates the car way beyond the speed limit. The car handles
the quick acceleration like a pro and speeds down the pavement. It
doesn’t take long to reach town, and he begins to bring the car down
to a much more acceptable speed. He isn’t saying anything, and I wish
he would. Anything, just to stop the feeling that I am going to suffocate
in the confines of his tiny car.
Maybe I should ask where we are going.

For all I know, he could be taking me somewhere to kill me. I stifle
back a laugh. I’m being ridiculous. Familiar buildings breeze past as Reid navigates through the center of downtown. For a split second, I
think he’s changed his mind and is taking me home when I realize we
are getting closer to it, but then we are past my crummy apartment
complex. A few minutes down the road, we stop in front of a broken down building. Scaffoldings, cranes, and other equipment are visible
in the moonlight that is quickly illuminating the darkening sky. Plastic
is hanging up in all the windows and entry ways.

Reid turns the car off, gets out with his fists clenching again, and runs around to my side before I have my door open. He holds out a
hand to me, and I take it into mine, noting that on the drive over here
that he has developed a bad case of sweaty palms. Most women, or
people in general, find this utterly disgusting. I am almost delighted by it. We walk towards the building with Reid’s hand resting against
my lower back as he guides me towards an entrance off the side of
the building.

The room we enter isn’t complete. Another thing that is obvious is i
ts purpose. It’s meant to hold books, and a lot of them. It’s a library, well, in a much smaller scale than the public one on the other side of
town. Still, the room is bigger than my entire department without all the
walls. The built-in shelves run from the marble floor up to the ceiling
that is at least thirty feet high. “What is this place?” I ask. I stand in
the middle of the room, spin in a circle, in complete awe of the sheer beauty of it despite the assorted construction tools scattered around.

“I’m helping finance the new adoption center,” he says quietly. My
heart stops beating and drops to the pit of my stomach. Did he just say
the new adoption center? “We have generous donors, a few of
which
donate a substantial amount every month.” He eyes me curiously. He
can’t know that I am one of these donors, can he? Of course he can’t.
I deposit the monthly donations anonymously and make sure they can’t
be traced back to me. “While the donations are still not quite enough, I’m covering the rest of the costs. In exchange, I design the library for the children, and call it the Reid Harder Library,” he adds gently.

“This is amazing.” I wander over to one of the walls. I run my
fingers across the delicately carved wood which is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. “This is bigger than the one they have now, is
it not?” I know that it’s a silly question and that I already know the
answer to it. Reid glances towards me again and raises an eyebrow. Man,
why did I have to go and say that? That’s just
beggin
g for questions
to be asked. Questions that I cannot and will not answer.

Reid nods his head. “It’s nearly four times bigger.” He smiles. This
time the smile finally reaches his eyes, and he seems proud. As well he
should be. “The building is divided into four sections, based on age. As much as I hate to say it, because I really think it’s unfair, the truth
remains that after a child reaches a certain age, the likelihood of them
being adopted declines drastically. So we’re implanting a program to
help the older kids make the best of their circumstances. The program
is designed to help them, to provide them with the materials and
opportunities to make something out of their lives. To create a better and more beautiful future for them, instead of heading down a dark
and narrow path. My uncle has agreed to take three teens each year
in their senior year of high school and let them intern for the agency. In addition, the agency is offering five full ride scholarships to LPU to the most promising kids.”

I’m rendered speechless. I don’t know how to respond to the
information I just learned. “This… this… this is amazing.
You
…” I stare
directly at him, cross the distance between the two of us, and stop
directly in front of him. “You are amazing. This center will change so many lives.”

I reach up and gently brush my hand against his cheek. In this pivotal moment, all things are thrown out the window, and I can feel
myself falling for him against my many inner protests. I’m taken aback
by all of this. Never in a million years would I have believed someone
if they told me that Reid had a hand in building this place. I slowly run
my hand down his arm and clasp his hand into mine. Energy sparks
between us, and I know Reid feels it too by his slight jump. I stare into
his eyes, finding myself ready and waiting for a kiss that never comes.
He clears his throat, and I drop his hand. The rejection stings. I turn
away from him and glance around the room again, unwilling to show
him the tears pricking my eyes. After a few more minutes of silence,
Reid suggests he get me back home. I agree, and he drives me back to
my apartment in awkward silence.

“Thank you,” I say as we approach the door. “That… that was
amazing. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

Reid opens his mouth, but something catches his attention, and he stops. I follow the direction his eyes are staring, and I find myself
just as surprised as he is. A large, obnoxious bouquet of flowers are
sitting on the doormat in front of the door. “What the—?” I reach down
and pluck the card that is sticking out of the flowers.

My dearest Liza,

I saw these and thought of you.

Wish you were here, but until then, I will be dreaming of you.

Love Always,

-A

I have no idea where these flowers come from, let alone who the
hell A is. I glance up at Reid, who read the card over my shoulder. His
eyes are dark, and his body is tense. Before I have a chance to say
anything, he is turning on his heels and heading straight back to his
car. I throw the card down to the ground and chase after him. He’s fast,
really fast, and by the time I reach the parking lot, he is already peeling
out and racing down the street. I watch as he disappears around the
corner and sigh heavily. The air outside suddenly turns cold, and a light brisk wind brushes against my face. I shiver and head back towards my
apartment.