If I Told You (20 page)

“I’m afraid of…” I’ll just fucking say it. “Falling for you, Brooklyn. I’m scared to fall in love. Then what the fuck would we do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to love someone. You don’t either. We’d destroy each other like we destroy everyone.”

“Oh, Flynn,” she says, running her fingers through my hair. “You do know how to love. You love me now.”

“Not like that. You know what I mean. Right now, the way we are is perfect. You’re the best thing in my life, Brooks. I’m terrified of waking up one day and not having you.”

She nods. “I understand.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. It scares me.”

I cup her face, gazing into her eyes. It would be so easy to kiss her right now. So easy to pull her into my bed and make love to her. So easy to tell her…

“What?” she asks. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I do love you, Brooklyn. You’re my best friend, and I’m tempted all the time. I see beyond the sexy badass. I know what an amazing person you really are, and I know that you accept me as I am. Flaws and all.” She nods as I continue. “I want your happiness more than my own. You know that, right?”

“I do.”

“That’s why I resist you. I’m not good enough for you. Not for romance. I’m not ready to be with just one woman, even if she’s you. I have some more growing up to do.”

She nods as her eyes fill with tears, completely taking me aback. Brooklyn rarely shows any emotion, even in front of me.

“Brooks,” I whisper. “Babe…”

“It’s okay.” She smiles. “I’m fine.” She wipes her eyes. “I just want you to recognize what an amazing person you are and know that you’d be great for any woman you chose to love. I believe that. When you’re ready, the right woman for you will appear, and you’ll be great for her.”

I brush her tears away with my thumb. “I hope you’re right.”

“I am. I’m right about everything.”

We both laugh as I pull her close. I just hope when I’m ready, she is too.

Opening the door to the restaurant, I walk inside to see Melissa wiping down the hostess stand. She looks up and smiles.

“Morning, Chef.”

“Morning. What time is the group coming for brunch?”

“Eleven.”

“Great. Everyone’s here?”

“Yep. Everything’s good.”

“Awesome. I’ll be in my office.”

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You just seem distracted or something.”

“I’m good.”

As I walk through the restaurant, my eyes scan every detail making sure the place is perfect. A Monday brunch is highly unusual, but it’s not every day the mayor’s daughter wants to have her bridal shower at your restaurant. I couldn’t say no.

Sitting at my desk, I look over some mail and think about Rhys and Brooklyn. Without him, none of this would be happening, but without him, I wouldn’t be at risk of losing her. It’s already been a couple of weeks, much longer than most of her relationships. I notice how he looks at her with nothing but affection in his eyes. He’s into her, I know. What I don’t know is how she feels about him. She’s elusive for sure. I smile remembering this morning. She wasn’t thinking about him though. She was calling my name in her sleep. She was having sex with me in her dreams.

Lying next to her naked body this morning was torture. I wanted to touch her, kiss her, lick her. I wanted to be inside of her, and I know I could. She’d open her eyes and wrap her legs around me, pulling me deeper. She’d moan from those pretty lips and flash those sweet eyes at me. I rub my forehead. But then what? How do we go forward? How do I tell her I can’t stand her being with anyone else, but I don’t know how to make her happy? I don’t know how to love her.

“Chef?”

I look up to see Melissa in the doorway. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Not too much. Everything’s handled up front.”

“Great. You need something?”

She smiles, twisting her hands together. “I thought I’d see if you did.”

“What?”

“Need something.” She runs her hands over her ample chest. “I’m happy to help.”

I study the woman in front of me for a minute. I don’t know why she wants this with me, knowing I’ll never give her anything more, but damn, I’m crazy horny since last night, and if I can’t be with Brooklyn, I might as well fuck Mel.

“Let me see your tits,” I demand.

She grins and unbuttons her blouse, then unhooks her bra releasing them. Ah, shit.

“Those are nice.”

“Thank you. You want to touch them?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Melissa walks over to me and kneels, taking my hand and pressing it into her tits. I squeeze and massage them as my dick gets harder.

“Why do you let me do this? Hmm? Why let me use you?”

“I have a crush on you. You’re the hottest man I’ve ever met, and I just want whatever you’ll give me. Is that so bad?”

“No,” I answer, shaking my head. “It’s not bad.” I unbutton my slacks and pull my dick out. She sighs, starting to suck. Leaning back in my chair, I close my eyes. This is good. This is exactly what I needed right now. I just wish I could stop imagining it was Brooklyn.

Walking through the restaurant, I make my way to the back, then stop in my tracks. Holy shit. I watch, completely stunned as Flynn gets his dick sucked by Melissa. His eyes are closed and he hasn’t even noticed me. It’s just like my dream with Jill. I’m immediately flooded with lust and jealousy and a strong desire to tear her off of him. Instead I lean against the doorframe and watch, fixated on his cock sliding in and out of her mouth. His hand massages her tits, while the other is buried in her hair. I wonder how long he’s been fucking her. I wonder why. He never messes around with employees. Ever. A moment later, he grunts and I watch with pure awe as Melissa swallows him whole, taking all of it down her throat. Lucky fucking bitch.

Flynn opens his eyes and smiles at her, rubbing her cheek, and when she sees me her eyes open wide. Flynn swings around in his chair and looks shocked to see me.

“Brooklyn. What are you doing here?”

I look down at the two cups I still hold. “Brought you a coffee.”

Melissa stands and quietly puts herself back together while walking out of the room, avoiding eye contact with me. Once we’re alone, Flynn stands, all buttoned up again, and closes his door.

“Uh, I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say. You don’t owe me an explanation. I guess I’m just surprised you’re fucking someone that works for you. You normally tell me stuff.”

“I’m not, Brooks. She just, uh, she offered and I accepted.”

“She just walked in your office and said can I suck your dick, Chef?”

“Basically.” He rubs his forehead. “Remember that Wednesday when you and Rhys came to dinner right after his review?”

“Yeah.”

“I got kind of stressed seeing him again. Mel noticed and offered some relief. I needed it so I said yes.”

“So you got your dick sucked during dinner service?”

“Yep.”

“I see.”

“Today she popped in and offered again.”

“Is she special to you?”

“No. Why would you think that?”

“Your rule about fucking around at work. Why is she different?”

Flynn nods and averts his eyes, turning back to his desk. “She’s not different.”

“But you’re doing stuff with her. You’re letting her touch you. I don’t get it.”

“Honestly, I feel a little bad about it. She knows I’m just using her, and she’s okay with that. She said she’ll take what she can get.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. She’s a grown woman making her own decisions.”

“I guess so.”

“Looks like she was good at it.”

“She’s not bad.” Flynn smiles. “I believed her when she said she’d keep it between us. After the first time, she was totally cool, like nothing happened, so I felt safe doing it a second time.”

“Have you fucked her?”

“No.”

“Do you want to?”

He tilts his head. “Not really, but…” he shakes his head.

“But what?”

“It’s been a long time for me. Longer than it ever has been before, and I don’t have time to go out and meet someone new. You know my motto.”

I smile. “Pussy is pussy.”

“Right. Mel has one.”

“Yeah.”

“How long were you there?”

“Long enough. I couldn’t stop watching.” I hand him the coffee, deciding it’s time to change the topic. “I swung by Java on my way to the studio.”

“Thanks for thinking of me.”

“Always, Flynn. You know that. I have to go face Jill now.”

“It won’t be bad. You were awesome last night. Rhys call yet?”

“No.”

“I’m sure he will.”

“Yeah.” I look at the door. “I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll be home for dinner.”

“Cool.” I start to walk out, but he grabs my arm, pulling me into him.

“She doesn’t mean anything to me, Brooks.”

“I know. Did you kiss her?”

“No. Why?”

I shrug. “I just wondered.”

“I haven’t done anything to her. It’s just, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”

We search each other’s eyes for a moment and I wish he would kiss me, so I do it instead. Just a soft one, like I always do, but I notice how he sighs.

“See ya later, Flynn.”

I walk out to the dining room and see Melissa busying herself. When she sees me, she looks down at the floor. “Bye, Mel.”

“Bye,” she says, but pauses as I pass. “What happened with Flynn was just… uh…”

I look back at her. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. You and Flynn are adults.”

“I know, but you must think I’m such a slut.”

“What does it matter what I think?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just embarrassed.”

“No reason to be. It’s cool. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“I know.”

“Just do yourself a favor and guard your heart. He won’t fall in love with you. He won’t take you out. He won’t do anything more than what he is doing with you, and without notice one day, he’ll stop.”