If Only (3 page)

Two hours later, Dane’s
tattoo is done and he’s gone. My intention was to set the alarm, lock up, and
head home, but something’s been bugging me. Sitting at the desk, at the front
of the shop, I reach into the top draw and take out a sketchbook and a pencil.
I out all the lights except for the small one by the phone and, led to paper, I
give way to an image that’s been haunting me for an entire seven days.

Finally, the moment has arrived – goodbye cool, foggy
San Francisco, hello sunny, hot Cancun. My enthusiasm isn’t because I can’t
wait to leave this place – I love San Francisco – I’m just thrilled about my trip.
And this is my first one without my parents, my celebration for finishing high
school and going to college in the fall. I’m going with Su, my sister, Elena,
and her best friend, Roxanne. I’m at an exciting phase in my life and I have
many things planned over the summer, starting with this vacation.

A knock sounds at my door.
Mom walks in. “Callie, you leave in less than two hours and you haven’t even
packed yet,” she says in a Southern Irish accent, barely influenced by over
twenty years living in the U.S. The way she’s standing there with her hands
propped on her hips, her brown eyes taking in a sight she’s clearly unimpressed
with, I feel like a kid who’s been caught with their fingers in the cookie jar.

“I have everything I need
right here.” It would probably help if I didn’t actually sound like I’d just
been caught with my fingers in the cookie jar. “I only have to put it in my
case.”

At the moment, I have all my
stuff thrown in a pile on my purple carpet and, if mom hadn’t come in when she
did, I’d have gathered it up and chucked it all in my suitcase. It’s not how
I’d usually do things, but I chose staying with Nick last night, and most of
today, over coming home and packing.

Mom sits on my bed and
reaches for a pink T-shirt at the top of the heap. I definitely have to do this
properly now, so I settle beside her.

“At least you’ve tidied your
room. Have you got your driver’s license, money and–”

“Yes, Mom, I have
everything. Stop worrying, we’ll all be fine.”

“I know you will, but I also
know how disorganized you can be. You’re too much like your dad.”

“You’ve been working all
day, you should go relax. I can do this myself.”

“If I leave now this’ll all
just get chucked in your suitcase.” She places the five T-shirts she’s folded into
my case.

“I have everything ready.
That’s the most important part, right? I’m more organized than you think.”

She doesn’t bother to reply.
I’m organized as far as
I’m
concerned, everything always gets done, but
I’m not as rigid as mom and Elena, so I don’t quite reach their standard. I am
more like dad. He always gets things done, too. I put three denim hot pants in
with the tees. Mom’s way ahead of me. Maybe this is useful, after all, at her
speed it’ll be done in no time, and I’ll have only done about a third of it.
Nice going.

“Where’s your sunscreen?”
she asks, while inspecting my toiletries on the floor. “Just because you
tan
easily it doesn’t mean you don’t need to protect your
skin.”

I glance over at my pine
dresser. “There.” I point out. “You’ll notice I bought the best brand, I am
taking my skin care seriously.”

She laughs to herself,
sounding lightly humored. “Whatever will you do without Nick?” she teases.

“Miss him like crazy.”
That’s the only disadvantage to my vacation, but we all agreed it would be
girls only. I sigh at the thought of two weeks without my man. I already miss
him.

Mom shakes her head, a soft,
affectionate smile shaping her lips. “It’ll be good for you to have some time
away from each other. It’s only been five months, and you think he’s the love
of your life already.”

“That’s because he is. I
don’t need to be with him for longer to know that. And, before you say it, I
don’t need to be older to know it, either.” I put a pile of shorts and skirts
in with the other items, trying not to be offended by her words. I fail. “Would
you rather I sleep around then?”

She stabs me with hard eye
contact. I know she doesn’t think that, I really shouldn’t have said it. Mom
always encouraged Elena and me to save ourselves for someone we
love
. I
did; Nick.

“You met Dad when you were
eighteen, too, and you’re still together twenty-three years later.”

“Yes, I did, but I didn’t
get serious about your dad so quickly, Callie.”

“That’s probably because you
lived in Ireland. You couldn’t get too serious when most of the time you wrote
each other.”

“Yes, but we got to know
each other well and at the same time had our separate lives and our own
experiences. It was a good year before I came here to live with my aunt, and
then we dated for six months before he proposed to me. Settling down and
marriage isn’t so urgent these days.”

“Whoa, Mother, slow down,
we’re not moving
that
fast. We don’t even talk about that stuff, and I
wouldn’t do it now, anyway.” She sighs again and focuses on packing the clothes
she just folded. “I thought you liked Nick?”

“Of course I do, but I want
you to enjoy yourself, not be falling in love when you’ve got so much to look
forward to. Nick’s five years older than you, he’s experienced more than you
have.”

So it’s the age difference
that’s the problem. Makes more sense, because she knew my dad was the one
before she even knew his name. And she was my age. I get it now. “I’m not
rushing anything, honestly. At least he’s not like Ryan, he cheated on me with
his ex-girlfriend just because I wouldn’t–” I stop right there on that topic. I
may not have loved the douche, but I still felt betrayed. He still broke my
trust and hurt me, the fucking ass.

“Yes, I know, sweetheart,
don’t get upset.” She rubs my thigh gently. “All I’m saying is your trip with
the girls is a good opportunity for you to do other things, with other people.
You’re both so wrapped up in each other. I just want you to make the most of
being young.”

“I know and I will. I am.
I’m not gonna rush anything, and I have a bunch of fun stuff planned over the
summer, they don’t all include Nick. He’s also got motocross commitments, so
he’ll be away a lot during the coming months. I promise I’ll spend time with my
other friends, okay? I’m still with Su almost as often as I was before, that’s
never going to change.”

She smiles and continues
with the task at hand.

By the time we’ve finished,
everything I need to take with me is packed and well organized. As I said,
things always get done. I’m glad mom came to help, though, it’s been a lot
easier, and I’m happy we got to talk. She left my room seeming reassured. My
relationship did become serious quite fast, there’s no denying that, but I’ve
felt good about each step Nick and I have taken so far.

I glance at my watch; I have one hour to go before my
next client. “Adam, I’m gonna go grab something to eat, do ya want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good,” he replies,
without looking up from the tattoo he’s finishing on a young lady’s left ankle.

After a quick cigarette
outside the studio, I head into the coffee shop next door. It’s mid-week and
just before the lunchtime rush, meaning service is quick. With my espresso and
a chicken sub, I go back to work and sit in the office going over one of my
designs for tomorrow.

I almost jump out of my seat
when my brother comes bursting through the door, quickly closing it behind him.
“Joe, dude, you will not believe who your next appointment is.” The excitement
about his face right now makes no sense at all. I’m trying to remember the
client’s name, but all I can recall is that it’s a female. It wasn’t anyone
famous, as far as I knew, so I’m beyond intrigued.

“Okay,” I say, as I stand up
from my chair, sipping the last tiny drop of my espresso. “Hit me with it, who
is she?” I ditch my empty cup in the trash and meet his gaze.

“No, man, you have to go out
there. You’re not going to believe this.”

This is weird. His actions
remind me of the time when he was eleven years old and he had his first kiss
with some girl he’d been crushing on. Out of the blue, she planted one on him.
He burst into my bedroom, with the biggest smile on his face, eager to tell
all. This is almost like that, but why would he be so excited about
my
next booking? It wouldn’t be Aimee, the girl I first locked lips with. And
there’s no woman on God’s good earth that’s likely to justify this level of
enthusiasm, at least, not one that exists outside of my head. To make matters
worse, I really, really can’t evoke her name.

Instead of strutting out
there, not knowing what to expect, I figure a peek from behind the door is
probably a good idea. Yeah, that’s a little strange at twenty-two years of age,
but there is no way in hell I’m going to just walk out there. Not with Adam
acting the way he is right now.

I pull on the knob, creating
the smallest of gaps to look through. At the front of the shop is a pretty
Asian girl with shoulder length jet-black hair, streaked with red highlights. I
don’t know her, but she’s talking to someone who’s still out of sight. Before I
have the chance to do anything else, my brother yanks the door open. He barely
misses my face with it as I jump out of the way and back up against the wall.

This is beyond ridiculous.

What I’m hiding from, I have
no idea, but my reaction was instinctive. Who the hell has got my brother
acting like an eleven year old, and me acting like a fucking idiot?

“Asshole,” I whisper across
to him, standing on the other side. “Tell me who it is.” I’m getting pissed now
and my heartbeat is still heavy from his unexpected act, you’d think I just
sprinted across the finish line of a damn race or something.

“Just go out there. Trust
me, this is good, it’s very good.”

A deep breath, followed by a
brief pause, and I head out to the studio floor. Again, the Asian girl is who I
see. I follow her gaze. In this instance, I do not move, I don’t even fucking
breathe.

She’s standing with her back
to me, the strands of pink silk pulled up into a ponytail.

My angel.
 

As I stand taking her in,
she turns around.
Instant recognition.
Her brows rise
briefly and the small curve of her lips swiftly becomes a wide smile, which
touches her eyes. My heart beats rapidly and hard to the point I hear nothing
but my pulse, heavy in my ears.

When I
do
die and go
to heaven this is exactly how I want it to be.

Out of nowhere, I remember
the client’s name. “Callie Rogers?” I ask, striding toward her.

“Yes, that’s me.” She beams,
walking to me, closing the short distance between us. “This is unexpected, do
you work here?”

“Yeah, my brother, Adam,
does also,” I say, thumbing in his direction over my shoulder, not even
bothering to turn to him in the slightest. Like the last time I saw this girl,
I can’t do anything other than look at her. “My uncle owns this place.”

“He does? Of all the shops
for me to go to, I end up here. Su, this is the guy I almost collided with a
couple months ago.”

“Really?” the other chick
says.

The expression on her
friend’s face, when I threw a glance her way, suggested she was quite delighted
to see me. Why? I have no idea, but I don’t linger much on that thought.

“Were you okay after that?
I’ve been wondering about you,” Callie says.

“Yeah, I was totally fine.”

“Well, that’s good, I’m glad
to hear it. So are
you
doing me today?”

“Doing you?”
Okay, Joe,
pull it together, dude, this is not cool
. “Both nipples pierced and a
tattoo, right?”

“Yes. Can we get this done
as quickly as possible, please? I’m getting nervous now,” she says, fidgeting
with her fingers. “Oh, and Su wants to discuss a tat she’s been thinking about,
if that’s okay?”

How the hell am I supposed
to touch her in such a place and keep my calm? I’ve lost count of the number of
times I’ve thought about her over the past two months. I didn’t actually think
I’d see her again, not outside of my head, even though I hoped I would. All of
this isn’t helped by the fact that I’ve already seen the rip right under the
butt of her faded blue jeans, exposing the naked flesh of her thigh. Or the hint
of pink panties intentionally displayed above the waistband of those same tight
Levi’s.

This is not going to be
easy. This is insane.

I make a point of not
letting my gaze settle on the way her white T-shirt stretches so nicely over
the body parts I’ll be seeing soon. “Of course, let’s go.” Turning, I lead them
through to the room at the back where we do private piercings.

Holding the door open, I
step aside and gesture for both girls to enter. “Right, just take a seat, Su.
Callie, you need to sit on that table.” I point toward the padded piece of
furniture in the center. “I’ll be right back,” I tell them.