If You Only Knew (Harper Falls Book 3) (8 page)

Toro
, bull. Bullfight. What do they call out during
those fights? Olé. What do people drink? Café au lait. Hence,
Toro
.
Okay, maybe it was more than a little obscure. It was fun; that was what
mattered.

The morning rush was just waning, meaning Tyler didn’t have
long to wait. Her friends joked that eventually she would just chew on the
grounds, eliminating the need for a machine or water. It wasn’t quite that bad.
Well, sometimes, on mornings like this one.

“Nice hairdo, Tyler. Did you use an eggbeater or get
caught in a cyclone?”

Jilly. Just what she needed. With a grateful smile, she took
the steaming cup from the barista and took a tentative sip. Not even Jilly
Underwood in the morning would make her stupid enough to scald her mouth.

“Picked up any lumberjacks lately, Jilly?”

“What are you talking about? I do not date
lumberjacks.”

Tyler thought about letting it go. Jilly was an easy target,
too full of herself and always initiating contact.
Walk away,
a little
voice urged.
Be the bigger woman.
Unfortunately, the coffee was too hot
to gulp and Tyler felt more than a little bitchy.

“Wood.” She said it loudly, taking another sip
from her to-go cup.

“Wood?”

“I heard you were looking for men who were carrying
wood. I just assumed you meant lumberjacks. Was I wrong?”

“I—” Jilly looked around, her cheeks blooming red
at the chuckles directed her way. “That wasn’t what I meant. I, oh, never
mind.” She turned on her heel, heading out. Then turned and hissed.
“Bitch.”

“That seems to be the general consensus lately.”
She said to the woman’s retreating back.

Tyler took a deeper drink of the slightly cooled coffee and
sighed. First her brother and now Jilly. Generally, she didn’t care about
either’s opinion. Called that twice in less than a day did make one stop and
think. Maybe it was time to consult with the two people she knew would pull no
punches. If Tyler were becoming a permanent bitch on wheels, Rose and Dani
would tell her. What were best friends for?

“NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

“I agree. You’ve been a bit edgy. But permanent bitch? Not
even close.”

The three friends were at Dani’s loft, sharing some wine and
Chinese takeout. After her run-in with Jilly, Tyler had called Rose, then Dani.
Girls night in had been the proclamation. No men allowed. No doubt about it.
There were no truer friends.

“I’d be worried if you weren’t bitchy.” Dani
handed Tyler a glass of icy golden chardonnay. “You have a deadline to
meet for the centennial celebration, not to mention other commissions to
finish. Then there’s Drew. He seems to be copping an attitude lately.”

“You noticed that?” Tyler had started to wonder if
she imagined Drew’s change in demeanor.

“Who wouldn’t?” Rose asked with a shake of her
head. “All that anger. It can’t all be pent up sexual frustration.”

“It’s a big part of my problem.”

“Just off the top of my head, I can think of a dozen
guys who would help you with that. Unless…”

“Unless there’s only one I want?” Tyler finished
for Rose. “I asked, he said no.”

She appreciated her friends’ restraint. Both could have
pointed out that the way she asked hadn’t been terribly flattering to Drew or
herself for that matter. Fucking, screwing. Call it what you wanted. She
propositioned him; he turned her down.

“I can’t seem to stop thinking about the past. That
summer Drew and I—”

“Fell in love?” Dani finished for her.

“It’s become a movie on a loop that I can’t shut off.
Last night, I rewound to the beginning, the day we met on the bridge.”

“A big moment in your life.” Rose reached over and
squeezed her hand. Connection. Her friends grounded her.

“It was like yesterday. I could feel the summer heat,
the first stirring of attraction. Not like now. It was tentative, innocent. I
didn’t know what it felt like to touch a boy; I just knew I wanted to find out.
I knew I wanted that boy to be Drew.”

“I’m sorry those memories make you sad.” Dani
added her touch, clasping Tyler’s free hand.

“Not sad.” Tyler searched for a word. “Okay,
maybe a little. Mostly I wonder at how open I was. When did I put up all these
barriers? Why can’t I let another man in the way I let in Drew? Damn it, ten
years is long enough.”

“I’ll talk to Jack.”

“And how exactly will that help?”

“He can kick Drew in the ass, get him to finally tell
you why he did what he did.”

“He didn’t love me?”

“Tyler…”

“Doesn’t that make the most sense? We were kids playing
grown up. All the plans we made, stupid promises.”

“They weren’t stupid.” Dani protested.

“Weren’t they? I practically had us out of college,
married, happily ever after, the ten seconds after our first kiss.”

“And he was right there with you.”

“I thought so at the time. Maybe he just wanted to get
in my pants and was really good at saying the right things.”

“For almost a year?”

She nodded at Dani. “Can’t argue there. I wasn’t that
good.”

Rose and Dani looked at her. She knew what they were saying
without any words. Really?
Really?

“You’re right. What Drew and I had was genuine. He
loved me. That doesn’t mean he didn’t change his mind. I think that’s why I’ve
been going over it again and again. When did that change? Why?”

“If it didn’t? What if he loved you then? What if he
still does?”

“Spoken by a woman who had her first love ride up on
his trusty motorcycle and sweep her off her feet.”

“This isn’t about me,” Dani assured her.
“Alex and I, our situation was completely different.”

“Yes.” Tyler conceded. “My problem is simple.
Drew Harper. I can’t make him talk. His secrets are his own and if he decides
to keep them, I’m going to have to live with it.”

“Or you could just grind his balls to dust.”

“I used that threat not that long ago. He wasn’t
exactly quaking in his boots.”

“I—”

“Enough.” Tyler gave her friends a reassuring
smile. “I’ve paused the story of Drew and Tyler.”

“Paused?”

“Didn’t I mention that I’ve acquired a new super power?
The movie runs through my head, frame for frame. If I get interrupted or need a
break, I stop. Hours later, I can magically pick up right where I left off. My
brain has become a Blu-ray DVD machine.”

“Sounds interesting,” Dani said.

“Sounds like a pain in the rump.” Rose clarified.

“You said it, smut mouth. I just want to put it all
aside and talk about something else. Anything else. Can we move on? I’m sick of
the subject.”

“I got an interesting offer this morning.”

“Do tell.” Tyler smiled at Rose. She asked they
change the subject, subject changed.

“A television producer called my agent. It seems Jack
and I would make fascinating reality show stars.”

Dani snorted, her mouthful of wine spewing across the room.

“You don’t agree?” Rose asked as the other woman wiped
her chin.

“A camera following you and Jack? Pure gold. I just
wondered if it was possible to telekinetically rip that producer a new
one.”

The three friends laughed. Rose was notorious in the music
business for loving her privacy. From the beginning of her songwriting career,
the offers to make her a singing star poured in. She was the whole package.
Looks the camera loved and she wrote songs other artists clamored over. Her
voice wasn’t the strongest, but it was true and had an edgy quality that amped
up the appeal.

They tried to lure her in front of the camera, onto the
stage, into the recording studio. Every time, she told them no. She didn’t
hesitate; she wasn’t tempted. Rose O’Brian wrote songs — period.

“I’m not mad at the producer. She has a job to do and
she saw an opportunity. I understand ambition. As long as she takes no for an
answer, I won’t provide her with another poo hole.”

This time Tyler lost it— almost. She just managed to keep
all her wine in her mouth.

“
Poo hole
?”

“You know I’m trying to watch the swear words when I’m
around Jack’s many, many nieces. It’s just easier if I refrain all the
time.”

Jack had six older sisters, all of whom produced nothing but
daughters. He and his father provided the only testosterone in an
estrogen-based family. He should have been a spoiled-rotten, self-centered
jerk. All those women telling him from birth how wonderful, handsome, and
perfect he was.

Instead, he was the easiest-going man Tyler had ever met. Tall
and gorgeous, Jack Winston possessed a smooth, unpracticed charm that melted
more than one woman’s resolve. Add to that killer blue eyes and sexy smile?
Rose hadn’t stood a chance.

“What did Jack have to say? Maybe his dream is to be a
TV star.”

“You tease.” Rose laughed. “The look on his
face when I mentioned the offer? I wish you and your camera were there, Dani.
He was even more horrified at the idea than I was.”

“That is one of the many reasons why you and Jack are
so well-suited. Seeking publicity does not appeal.”

They spent the rest of the evening consuming egg rolls and
laughing, drinking good wine. After two glasses, Tyler switched to water. Her
walk down memory lane needed a clear head. Alcohol had a tendency to make her
dreams go all psychedelic. Fun on occasion — not when trying to sort out an
already complicated situation.

Was Drew tied up in knots? Was the past making it hard to
live in the present? It would be nice to know that she wasn’t alone. If she
knew that his nights were restless, maybe she could find a little peace. In
this case, misery didn’t just love company; it craved it.

“I ASKED HER for a kiss.”

Drew was drunk. He could stand — with a little help. He
could remember his own name — couldn’t say it clearly — but remembered it.

They had started out with a couple of beers.
Tom Tom’s
,
the legendary bar just to the south of town was their usual hangout. Jack and
Drew had a rare woman-free night on their hands so the three of them had
decided to grab a few long necks and shoot some pool.

How he had gotten to the point where Jack was pouring him
into the passenger side of his SUV, Drew had no idea.

“Are you going to be sick between here and your
house?”

“Probably.”

He said with such matter-of-factness that Jack had to laugh.

“Then hang your head out the window like Edgar,”
Jack said, referencing his beloved dog. “The air will do you good.”

“I haven’t known him long.” Alex helped Jack
leverage Drew’s long body into the cab, making sure his legs were tucked in
before shutting the door.

“You’re wondering if this is a regular thing?”

“No, just the opposite. Drew doesn’t strike me as the
lose control kind of guy. Watching him throw back those tequila shots made
my
head hurt. He’s going to feel it in the morning.”

“Hopefully he’ll chuck most of it up before I get him
home. Out the window.”

Jack added that last bit for Drew’s benefit. His friend gave
him a wave of acknowledgment.

“I’ll get some liquid and a couple of aspirin into him.
His head will be pounding; maybe I can help lessen the severity.”

“She said no.”

“What was that, buddy?”

“The kiss.” Drew raised his head to glare at Jack
and Alex. Why weren’t they paying attention? This was important.

“I asked Tyler for a
kish
, she said no.”

“Sure, no woman wants to kiss a man who slurs the
word.”

“Still wanted it,” Drew mumbled.

Jack sighed “This thing with Tyler better come to a
head soon. I don’t want to make a habit of pouring him into his bed.”

“One night doesn’t make it a habit,” Alex
reassured him. He glanced over at the man slumped in his seat. “Just in
case, we’ll keep an eye on him.”

Drew tuned out the conversation. He wasn’t turning into a
drunk. Tonight had been an anomaly. He was tired, forgot lunch, and drank too
much, too fast. And his brain was full of Tyler.

He shut his eyes and drifted. Back, back to that day he
followed her down the cliff to the little cove no one else knew about. Just
him. And now Tyler. He never intended to call the police. He liked finding her
there. Asking for a kiss was pure impulse. He knew she wouldn’t agree. But oh,
how he wanted her to.

ELEVEN YEARS EARLIER

“INBREEDING.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“It’s the only explanation. You seem normal, then you
come up with that ridiculous kiss idea. You should check your family tree. Go
back a generation or so. First cousins marrying can really jam up the old gene
pool.”

“Ah.”

Now he understood. It took him a minute to figure out her
train of thought. Interesting. He liked it. There was something to be said for
having a conversation with a girl who could keep you on your toes.

“You think my family practices incest?”

“Harsh word, Pretty Boy. First cousins, not brother and
sister.” She shook her head. “Isn’t that what rich families do to
keep the bloodline pure?”

“What kind of stuff do you read?”

“Anything I can get my hands on.”

“Maybe you should consider scaling it back a bit if
inbreeding is the first place your brain goes.”

“It wasn’t the first place. It was just the most
interesting.”

“Right.”

Drew looked at her again. Not just a stunning face but a
brain to boot.

“It’s a theory, I’ll give you that. Cousins marrying
cousins was a royalty thing, not a rich thing. Just to clarify.”

“Got me there. I was giving you an out, an
excuse.”

Drew watched as she gathered up her backpack and slung it
over one shoulder. He couldn’t make her stay. Well, he could, he was bigger and
stronger. Imprisoning girls was not his thing. He would have to come up with an
intellectual reason to keep her with him a little longer.