If You Still Want Me (28 page)

God, I love being in the middle!

"Teh a-mo alos dose," I try, but my country-boy
accent fucks up my attempted Spanish.

"Close enough, darlin'," Austin winks at me then
hugs me tight with Vickie.

This is now my most favorite
place in the whole wide world. Simple moments we can share
together. Times when the rest of the world can pass on by for a bit
and just let us
be
.

"Did you speak with Anna?" Vickie's question
reminds me that we can't hide in moments like this forever. We got
friends and family that need us, and shit that still needs
sortin'.

"I did," Austin's chest rumbles against mine as
he speaks. "We're invited over for dinner, and she said Sarah
should be stopping by in another hour or so to pick up Kylie and
Bastion."

"Poor kid," I snort. "Name like Bastion is just
askin' for trouble."

"Maybe he can join my club with Alex and Joey,"
Austin shrugs. "We aren't middle-name exclusive."

We share another hug and light laughter before
piling into Vickie's SUV. She drives and I take shotgun this time,
reachin' over and holdin' her hand as we drive the back roads into
Midlothian. Traffic isn't too bad for a Sunday, even though
Midlothian seems to get busier and bigger every time I run through
it. Startin' ta' wonder how much longer it'll be before Dallas-Fort
Worth stretches so big that it's knockin' on Brandon's front
door.

When you come from a speck on the map like
Alvarado, towns like Midlothian, with their own Walmart, can seem
huge. Heck, first time I stepped foot into Dallas, I thought I'd
gone to another planet. I still get dizzy in the middle of
downtown.

Yeah, you can take the country-boy to the city,
but...

"Sarah's car is still at the
diner," Vickie points out as we drive past '
Auntie B's
Diner
'.

I crane my next to look out her window at the
packed parking lot, spotting Kyle's red Camaro. He's sitting in his
car, smoking. "So's Kyle. Not real subtle, is he?"

"Thought he quit smoking," Austin sighs. "Was
doing good, too."

"Now he's gone stalker," I grumble, wondering if
I should ask Vickie ta' pull over so I can go have a talk at
him.

"He's worried, sweetie." Vickie pulls away from
the stoplight and makes a turn towards Annabelle's apartment
complex. "You remember what happened last time Rob came back? He
nearly got Sarah fired."

"Stupid sumbitch. Showin' up drunk in the middle
'a her shift, raisin' hell just 'cause they was outta beer at home.
Not that you can rightly call that dump a home..."

Vickie lets out a harsh
exhale. "Maybe, but it's
her
home."

"You think I don't know that?
But they don't pay shit at that diner and she's got two kids ta'
roof and feed, with no help from Rob. Where you think my
money
goes
, honey? You think I just
up and spend it all on video games?"

Vickie bites her bottom lip as Austin clears his
throat. He hasn't heard this conversation before, even though it's
an old argument 'tween Vickie and I. I got no place of my own
because I was stayin' at Vickie's place more than my own apartment,
so I started puttin' that rent money into a secret college fund
don't no one knows 'bout. Them kids is goin' ta' college if it's
the last thing on this Earth I make sure happens.

I also spoil Sarah's kids rotten and have sunk
more money into that shithole house than it's worth tryin' ta keep
it liveable. That's what Vickie gets up on her high-horse about.
She thinks I'm tossin' money into a fire pit and has mentioned more
than once that Sarah should sell and move.

"You know that house was Granny's," I throw in
the usual emotional arrow. It's wrong to do, but it's the only real
argument I got. Usually, I'd hold onto it with tooth an' nail, but
I'm too dang tired to keep up the old fight. "But I agree with you,
too. She should sell it and move on."

"Saul," she inhales, a bit shocked I think.

Good. Maybe it's high-time I stopped playin' the
same ole song an' dance routine. Part 'a my growin' up, I
suppose.

"I'm sorry I keep bringing it up, sweetie."

"Don't be, honey." I take her hand, a bit
surprised myself at her apology. "I know yer only worried, same as
me, but I think maybe things have gone on this way long
enough."

She tugs my hand over and kisses it. "I
agree."

"She should also get divorced and get it over
with," I add. "If she's in love with Kyle, like y'all keep tellin'
me, then she shouldn't be married ta' Rob."

"It's not that simple," Vickie sighs as she
pulls into a parking space at the apartment complex. "I think she's
trying to do what's best for the kids."

"Is she?" I shake my head, 'cause I can't agree
with that, an' Vickie's frown tells me she don't buy into it,
either.

"Saul," Austin's hand cups my shoulder. "Let's
wait and listen to her side, yeah?"

Damn. He's right, too. His touch also helps
simmer me back down. Between him and Vickie, I aint got a
snowball's chance in Hell 'a stayin' as mad as I want.

"Yeah. First, let's have
ourselves a chat with
yer
sister.
How much you wanna tell her?"

Austin's eyes close for a second, then he opens
them back up with an intense decision in his eyes.
"Everything."

Everything
.

It takes me a few seconds to
force my heart back into a normal rhythm. Austin wants to tell
Anna
everything,
and I'd be lying
if I said that doesn't make me anxious. I happy he wants to be
honest with his sister about us, but I'm worried the idea is going
to go over like a led balloon.

It's not that Anna is closed-minded. Far from
it. She's been supportive of Austin and his lifestyle choices, to
my knowledge anyway, and she doesn't seem to care that Brandon runs
a BDSM club. Anna has a bit of a wild-streak herself, including the
hot-pink highlights she currently has woven into her thick black
hair that catch the sunlight as she waves at us from her
balcony.

No, I'm not worried about Anna's acceptance of
anything her brother decides to do with his life. I'm worried about
Anna's acceptance of me.

I've known for a while that the girl doesn't
think too fondly of me, for whatever reason. I wish I understood
why so I could find a way to fix it. She gets on so well with Saul.
I guess I'm jealous of that; that maybe I won't be good enough for
Austin, in Anna's eyes, while Saul is.

What if she's found out about
what
I
do at Brandon's club? God. I
take a whip and paddle to Saul's backside because he asks me to,
and because I enjoy giving Saul anything and everything he wants.
What if Anna thinks I'm some sort of evil witch who enjoys hurting
people and is going to start taking a whip to her
brother?

"Vickie?" Saul's concerned question breaks in,
but the anxiety stays put. "Damn. I'm sorry, honey. You know I hate
arguing-"

"It's alright, sweetie." I swallow my nerves,
lift my chin and squeeze his hand as we watch Austin walking up the
outside stairs to Anna's apartment. Anna's dislike of me aside,
Austin needs my full attention and support for this. "Just trying
to think about what we can say to help Austin explain things."

"Annabelle's pretty open," he shrugs, tugging me
along towards the stairs. "Let's let Austin say what he wants to
say, then go from there."

"Alright." When did Saul get so practical?

"Uncle Saul!" Kylie's
high-pitched squeal greets us as we step into the apartment, her
arms open as she runs to hug him. She's twelve going on thirteen,
but hasn't hit that '
I'm too cool for hugs'
phase yet. Her light blond hair and dark blue
eyes give a hint that she's going to be a heart-breaker once she
hits high school.

"Hey there, buggyboo!" Saul accepts the hug with
a huge grin. He loves the girl to pieces and spoils her rotten.

Kylie giggles and pulls away. "I'm almost
thirteen. I'm too big to be a buggyboo."

"Never!" Saul tickles her in retaliation.

"Okay, okay! I take it back!" She squirms away
from him then hugs me, too. "Hi, Aunt Vickie."

"Hello, sweetheart. I like your hair. Did Anna
do it for you?"

"She did!" Kylie beams while fluffing one of her
curls, then she pouts her bottom lip, just like Saul does. Uh-oh.
Future brat alert, and it's adorable. "But she wouldn't dye it pink
like I wanted."

"Because it's against your school's dress code,"
Annabelle says from the living room where she's hugging Austin.

"They don't let us do anything," Kylie huffs
with a melodramatic roll of the eyes then looks back up at Saul.
Her teeth gnaw into her bottom lip as the toes of one foot twist
into the carpet. "Dad's back."

"I know," he sighs quietly, touching her
hair.

"He's bad this time," she says, her true age
showing. Poor girl's had to grow up so fast. "Momma's worried, and
he's drinking again."

"I'm sorry, boo." Saul tugs her back into a hug.
"We're gonna get him help. I promise."

"Okay," she nods, pulling away and trying to act
older than she is. "Uncle Kyle said so, too. He stopped by last
night, after Dad passed out." Her brow furrows up at Saul. "You two
still fightin'?"

Saul grimaces. "He told you 'bout that?"

"I asked him how he got the black eyes..." Her
sharp, sapphire blues narrow a bit.

"And he won't lie to you," Saul sighs. "Dangit.
Yeah, I'm sorry yer uncles is stupid sometimes."

"
Are
stupid," she corrects, one hand on her hip. "Did
you say
sorry
yet?"

"Not yet," Saul fingers her curls. "But, I will.
I promise."

"Okay." And simple as Saul's promise, Kylie's
smiling again. Glancing over her shoulder, she turns her
heart-melting smile on Austin. "You'll make sure he does?"

"I will," he chuckles as Saul huffs through a
grin.

"Where's the rugrat?" Saul seeks a new
topic.

"Bastion's asleep in my bedroom," Anna answers.
"Best behaved, quietest baby I've ever known."

"He sleeps
all
the time," Kylie agrees.

"Kylie," Austin's voice is hushed as he steps up
to her. "Would you mind watching over him for a little while in the
bedroom?"

Kylie frowns at this with a
cross of her arms. "Y'all got adult stuff to talk about? I'm
almost
thirteen, you know."

"I know, sugar," Austin swoons
a bit under Kylie's blue-eyed gaze. "It's not that I think you're
too young, but it's something we have to talk to Anna and your
momma about first, before we have permission to talk to you about
it.
Comprenda?
"

"
Sí
," she sighs but gives in. "
Porque Te
quiero."

"Very good!" Austin grins with pride. "I love
you too, sugar."

Once the bedroom door closes and we're all
situated in the living room, Austin reaches over and takes Anna's
hand. "Are you alright?"

Anna inhales a deep breath, her eyes passing
over Saul and I before turning back to her brother. "I feel like an
idiot, but yeah, I'm okay."

"Cody's the idiot," Saul grumbles. "You gave
that boy a year ta' get his shit together. What kinda man does that
on New Year's?"

"An unworthy one," I answer, my gaze on Anna,
hoping to find some sort of connection with her. As usual, all I
get is a cool appraisal.

"He got his shit together, and maybe that was
the problem," she shrugs. "He decided he's gonna go back to college
for business. Apparently, a girl who works at a hair salon is no
longer on his level."

Austin curses six ways in Spanish. "He said
that?!"

"In so many words," she sighs.
"'
We have different goals'
, he
said.
'Don't you wanna get outta
Midlothian?
' he asked.. along with more
bullshit excuses than an adulterous politician. I told him I'm
happy here, thought
we
were happy,
then said that if he's not, he's more than able to find the door.
So," her shoulders slump, "he did."

"Fuck 'em," Saul huffs. "After all you did for
him... You're pretty an' smart an' strong. He just couldn't deal
with that, so fuck 'em. You'll find someone better who won't make
you hang on for a year."

"Thanks," she half grins, with unhidden fondness
in her eyes.

I wish she'd look at me with half the
friendliness she's always shown Saul. I hate being bitter about it,
but I am.

"So," she exhales. "I'm thinking you didn't ask
Kylie to leave the room just so we could bash my ex-boyfriend,
yes?"

"Yes," Austin starts then stops with a glance to
Saul and I.

"If this is about Rob," Anna takes over, "And...
Kyle...," she says more hushed. "I'll tell you what I told Sarah -
leave the drunk fool but don't fall into the other fool's arms just
because they're open."

I smirk at that, because it's good advice.
"
That's one thing we were hoping to discuss, once
Sarah comes to pick up the kids."

"Okay," Anna's eyebrow raises, her eyes on me
for a second before looking back at Austin. "And, what's the other
thing?"

Austin scratches his chin. "There aint no real
simple way to say this besides just saying it, I think..."

When he stops, Anna's eyes widen with worry.
"Well, spit it out. Are you sick or something?"

"No!" Austin chuckles with a huge exhale. "Why
you always thinking Nana and I are about to kill over?"