If You Were Mine (32 page)

said that Zach was exactly like Jack Sulivan.

Jack Sulivan’s life had been perfect. He’d had a beautiful

wife he loved and eight great kids. He’d been the definition of

charmed.

But he’d stil died.

And left them al behind.

* * *

to get to Zach. She was at the entry gate to the race track when

Ryan’s arms came around her.

“You can’t go out there.”

She fought Ryan’s hold with every ounce of strength she

had, but Smith was there, too, and the brothers’ muscles were

like steel clamped around her.

“Let go of me!”
she screamed at the two superstars while

a dozen photographers spun back and forth to film the crash and

a dozen photographers spun back and forth to film the crash and

her and Smith and Ryan.

But his brothers just held her tighter as she watched flames

engulf Zach’s car.

He was supposed to be indestructible...and hers

forever.

She’d known he wasn’t, that nobody was buletproof. But

it had been easier to lul herself into a false sense of security than

to have to face the utter loss of control that came from sitting

helpless in the stands while he raced a car at dizzying speeds.

She could stil feel the imprint of his lips on hers, from the

kiss he’d left her with. She’d stopped praying a long time ago,

had substituted hard work and focus and reality for those

prayers.

Now, her lips wouldn’t stop moving, wouldn’t stop

repeating, “Please, God. Please.”

The smoke from the fire extinguishers grew thick and dark

around the car as the emergency crew attacked the flames. Her

tears mixed in with the smoke and the dust from the track as cars

skidded to a stop one by one. The other drivers got out to watch

the scene unfold, horror on their faces as they yanked off their

helmets.

Suddenly, she saw boots. Legs. And then a man throwing

himself to the ground, roling out of the way of the flames.

Shock made Smith and Ryan’s hands loosen just enough

for her to slip free, to hurdle the gate. The roar of the crowd

mixed with the pounding of her heart in her ears as she sprinted

toward Zach. His crew had dragged him away from the car, had

toward Zach. His crew had dragged him away from the car, had

al backed away themselves as the flames only grew taler,

brighter.

The explosion rocked the ground, but even though she

stumbled, she got right back up on her feet.

Zach pushed up from his knees to pul off his helmet. She

crashed into him at the exact second his eyes met hers, and she

pressed her mouth to his face again and again. “Lori said you

were indestructible. I didn’t believe her. Now I do. Thank God

nothing ever touches you.”

His eyes flashed with darkness before he puled her so

tightly to him that it almost hurt.

“I love you so much,” she told him in their last private

moment before the track doctors, the other drivers, and the rest

of the Sulivans descended. Heather didn’t want to let go of

Zach’s hand, didn’t want to lose that connection, but she knew

he’d be al hers later.

Believing he’d been spared from the car crash and fire so

that they could have their forever, when his fingers started to slip

free of hers, she let him go.

After the emergency crew checked Zach out and he’d

convinced his brothers and sisters that he was okay, Heather had

known without being told that al he wanted was to get away

from the race track. She’d thought she would be the one to drive

from the race track. She’d thought she would be the one to drive

home, but when he’d headed for the wheel she’d realized it was

probably best that he dealt with driving a car sooner, rather than

later.

There were so many things she wanted to say to him, so

many things she wanted to tel him—how much she loved him

and how she wasn’t sure about these races, but would try to be

open to them in the future if they were realy important to him—

but just as she buckled into the passenger seat and they headed

off toward the city, his mother caled.

Mary Sulivan’s distress over the accident was palpable.

And yet, Heather admired the calm that lay at the foundation of

her love for her son. If Zach had seemed a bit short, even a little

irritated with the mother Heather knew he loved, she figured it

was one of a dozen natural responses to the crash. There had

been so many people hovering around him wanting reassurance

that he was okay. He had to be exhausted.

But even though she hadn’t been the one fighting like hel to

right the car, and then to escape it, Heather stil couldn’t find her

own calm. It would take time to stop seeing the man she loved

go up in flames every time she closed her eyes. And until that

day came, she wanted to live every single minute with him to the

fulest. She was done holding back a part of her heart from him,

done waiting for that other shoe to drop.

Today she’d learned just how precious life—and love—

truly was.

Standing in his kitchen cooking dinner, the knife almost

sliced through the tip of Heather’s finger instead of the bel

sliced through the tip of Heather’s finger instead of the bel

pepper as another image of Zach spinning out on the track

zinged through her head. Just as she put the knife down, Zach

walked out of the bedroom. His hair was wet from the shower,

his perfect face scratched up and down the right side.

Thank God he was alive.

Despite her lingering distress over his crash, she couldn’t

help smiling at him. The truth was that she’d always grinned like

a fool whenever he was around. Only, Zach didn’t smile back.

It was the first time he’d ever not smiled back.

“Gabe’s coming over.”

She was surprised to hear he was up for a visit from one of

his siblings when she could see how beat he was. “Is he going to

bring over the rest of Cuddles’s things?”

“No.” The word shot like a bulet from his lips. “He’s

coming to take her back.”

Even as he said it, Cuddles was rubbing against his calves

trying to get his attention. But he wasn’t scooping her up into his

arms.

Instead, he was ignoring the puppy completely. He wasn’t

even looking at her.

“I don’t understand,” she said, and she didn’t, couldn’t

possibly believe that he was serious. “You just told them you

were keeping her.”

He shrugged, the shrug of a man who didn’t seem to care

what he’d said to a seven-year-old girl...or what other promises

he might have made along the way to anyone else.

“She’s better off with them. The dog needs a kid around to

play with.”

The dog?

The way he said it was different than when he caled

Cuddles and Atlas
mutts
o r
fur balls.
He was affectionate,

teasing when he said those things. But this was just plain

dismissive.

The paramedics had said he didn’t have a concussion. Had

they been wrong?

“Zach.” She started to move toward him, but the remote

expression on his face stopped her in her tracks. “Are you

feeling okay?”

“I’m fine.”

He sat down on the couch and grabbed the remote, flipping

on the TV. The sound of another car race immediately started

up. Bile rose in her throat at the sight of the cars racing in circles

around the track.

She wanted to scream at him, wanted to throw something

at his big, thick head. Her feet unstuck from the kitchen floor and

she yanked the controls off the coffee table to jam her thumb

over the red
Off
button.

“I can’t watch that right now.” The TV screen went back to

black. “How can you? Don’t you remember you almost died out

there today?”

Before he could answer, Cuddles walked over with one of

Zach’s leather shoes. The puppy plopped down in front of him

and started chewing it, her big brown eyes trained on him as if

and started chewing it, her big brown eyes trained on him as if

she were waiting for a command to do otherwise.

“Aren’t you going to stop her?”

Zach barely glanced down at the puppy. “No. Summer wil

figure out how to get her to stop making mistakes.”

“She’s a puppy. She’s going to make mistakes.” But

wasn’t the truth that some mistakes were so big that they

couldn’t be undone? Like trusting someone to actualy love you

right. “She trusts you, Zach. Gabe and Megan and Summer are

just strangers to her. You’re her family.”

And hers, too, or so she’d thought. Finaly, she’d had the

family she’d never thought could be hers. A future filed with

laughter. And love. So much love it had made her head spin.

Now, though, it was spinning for reasons that had nothing

to do with love.

Please,
she thought, the word running around and around

in her head just the way it had hours earlier. Only this time she

wasn’t begging God, she was silently pleading with a flesh-and-

blood man.
Please don’t do this.

His face was like granite. “She’l be fine.”

Every one of Heather’s instincts told her to run. To flee. To

get out and protect whatever was left of her heart while she stil

could. But something was obviously wrong.

Very wrong.

Zach hadn’t cracked a smile, hadn’t given her one of those

smug looks she always wanted to kiss right off his face.

And, she realized with a dark hit of pain in the pit of her

stomach, he hadn’t so much as touched her since they’d left the

stomach, he hadn’t so much as touched her since they’d left the

track.

He was
always
touching her.

She forced herself to move toward him, rather than away.

“There’s something you’re not teling me. Something that

happened out there on the track.”

“I’m alive,” was his offhand reply. “Everything’s great.”

His eyes were so cold, so shuttered. Al she’d wanted was

to have him back, but not like this.

Not when he suddenly seemed to be a shel of the man

she’d thought he was.

The pain in her stomach grew bigger, but the need to have

the real Zach Sulivan back—
her Zach
—was bigger. Big

enough that she kept moving closer.

“I can’t imagine how it must have felt to be in that car,

trying to get out while it burned. But you walked away from it.”

Whenever she’d gotten stuck in darkness, he’d always

fought for her. He’d made her laugh, he’d held her when she

cried, he’d taught her how to trust again, and to believe in love

when she’d thought it wasn’t possible.

Now she needed to fight for him.

“Talk to me, Zach. Tel me what’s going on.” The word

please
was on her tongue when the doorbel rang.

She could barely stand to watch as Zach shoved al of the

puppy’s things into a grocery bag, picked up Cuddles, and

pushed both the bag and the puppy into his brother’s arms.

The little Yorkie whimpered as she looked from Gabe to

Zach.

Zach.

“You sure about this?” Gabe asked his brother.

“I agreed to keep her for two weeks. Time’s up.”

Gabe’s eyes moved from his brother to Heather. She could

see worry in them, and disappointment.

The same disappointment that was choking her until she

could hardly breathe around it.

“Summer told me you needed a dog because she thought

you were lonely. She was so happy that you were going to keep

her. She thought you wanted the puppy.”

Heather waited for Zach to soften at the mention of the little

girl...or for him to at least acknowledge the way Cuddles was

struggling to get from his brother’s arms into Zach’s.

“I don’t need a dog.”

He didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t need to for

Heather to hear what he was realy saying.

I don’t need anyone else.

She wanted to be anywhere but there, with Gabe’s eyes

taking in her devastation. But she was glad she’d stayed, glad

she’d actualy witnessed Zach doing what he was doing, because

it was the only way she could ever have made her heart face the

truth.

She didn’t realize Atlas had gotten up from his nap on his

dog bed and moved to her side until she felt his big head nudge

her hand. She put her hands on his neck and shoulders, letting his

steady warmth give her the strength she so desperately needed.

Hadn’t she known the other shoe would drop at some

Hadn’t she known the other shoe would drop at some

point? That it had to because it always did?