If You're Not the One (23 page)

‘Ah, finally you're speaking some sense because you're right there,' he said coolly, putting down his papers and drink and leaning in to fix her with a stare that turned her stomach. ‘I loathe you and do you know why?'

She shook her head, sure he was going to fill her in anyway.

‘I loathe you because without me you'd be absolutely nothing. I have carried you since university and you know it. You're a spineless, directionless, useless individual but for some reason I took pity on you and have let you ride on my coat tails for all these years.'

‘I've given you four beautiful children,' Jennifer said
quietly, her eyes pricked with tears. What he was saying was so hurtful. So cruel. So disgusting.

‘Yes, you've
had
four children. Well done you for being fertile. You haven't given me anything. You're not even a good mother.'

‘That's not fair,' she said. He may as well just have slapped her. It would have hurt less.

‘Maybe not but it's true. You do the bare minimum.'

‘Only because you've always controlled me so much that that's all I've been allowed to do. My only crime is that I've been weak. I've let you steal all my confidence to the point where I've lost control of my own kids.' Even as Jennifer said it, the truth in what she was saying finally completely caught up with her and she vowed then and there that she would change, starting by playing a proper part in how her children were going to turn out. She wasn't going to be dictated to any longer.

Tim stood up and paced the terrace for a while.

Suddenly Jennifer felt incredibly vulnerable. Perhaps this had been a mistake? Perhaps she should have waited till they were back in London.

‘You're a lying whore,' said Tim icily, almost from nowhere.

‘I beg your pardon?' said Jennifer who was shaking.

‘When were you going to tell me about your revolting little secret eh? Or were you not going to bother? Because we both know what this is really about don't we?'

He knows, thought Jennifer. Of course he does. How
could she ever have thought she could have kept anything secret from the omnipotent Tim?

She analysed how she felt. Numb really, but underneath there was also a definite sense of relief. She didn't want to lie any more. She was sick of living like this. To hell with it.

‘I love him,' she said calmly.

Tim threw his head back and only then did Jennifer see for the first time a glimpse of how he wasn't just angry but also hurt. She'd damaged him with what she'd done. Of course she had and what could she ever have expected his reaction to be?

No matter how unpleasant he'd been to her he still had the moral high ground. She was the one who had been unfaithful.

‘You stupid, stupid bitch,' he said, the cool tone having disappeared altogether. ‘And how long's it been going on then? Because naively I had hoped you'd only decided to be a disgusting whore a short time ago, only now you've told me you've been debating whether to leave me for months I start to wonder. You see, I'm not stupid Jennifer, so it doesn't take a great deal to figure out that this is all about your selfishness and desire to fuck someone.'

Jennifer swallowed, aware that without knowing exactly what he knew she should be treading extremely carefully.

‘It's not. They're two separate issues. That never would have happened if I wasn't deeply unhappy. I'm not
justifying anything but you have to know that wanting to split up with you is because I honestly can't see a way to make our marriage work.'

‘I had you followed when you went to “Karen's”,' he said, using his fingers to make inverted commas round her friend's name. ‘A love nest in Yorkshire with my now ex-chef. I've never known anything so pathetic in all my life. But I tell you what; if that's what you think you want then you're very welcome. Only I'll tell you this for nothing, my dear…'

His use of the words ‘my dear' made her feel faintly sick.

‘You've chosen the wrong person to pick a fight with because I am going to make sure you end up with nothing. And when I say nothing I mean no money, nowhere to live, no friends and no children.'

‘You can't take my children away. You're being ridiculous,' said Jennifer, and though her tone was designed to sound throwaway she couldn't disguise the very real sense of panic that was rising up inside her. He was insane.

‘I'm their mother. The law would never allow you to take them from me,' she added, more confidently than she felt.

‘We'll see about that,' threatened Tim, taking a step towards her, eyes blazing with fury and contempt.

She swallowed. ‘Well there's probably not much point in talking further tonight so why don't we sleep on it and try and have another chat in the morning?'

‘There's nothing to discuss,' said Tim, stepping back again and picking up the sheaf of papers he'd been looking at. He sat down and returned his attention to them.

She'd been dismissed.

Happy to get away from him she turned to enter the house, desperate to get hold of Joe and tell him what had happened. Surely he'd be answering his phone by now?

‘No doubt you're off to phone lover-boy to fill him in on the latest.'

‘Don't be ridiculous,' she shot back immediately, unnerved by his accuracy. She'd literally stopped in her tracks. Shit, maybe she should wait until tomorrow to contact him? Knowing Tim, he might come and listen at the door and there could be the most horrific scene.

‘Still, if you really want to speak to him maybe try him. After all, it's been hours since you spoke to one another, hasn't it?'

How could he possibly know that? Jennifer's eyes widened. Suddenly she was scared. Was Tim toying with her or did he really know something?

She turned. ‘What are you doing?' she said, no longer bothering to try and sound nonchalant. She didn't care if he knew she was frightened. She needed to know what was going on.

‘Me? Oh I'm not doing anything. It's our ex-chef who's been very busy. And on that note, I want to make it very clear that he is not to come within an inch of any of my properties ever again. He also won't ever be working
anywhere in London again either, which is a shame for you.'

‘What are you talking about?' said Jennifer, her entire body trembling as she tried to digest what was happening. She'd lost control of the situation completely. How could she ever have imagined she could take Tim on?

‘Well, think about it,' he said, tapping his temple. ‘If he can't work in London then he can hardly stay in the city where your children will be remaining which means you'll have some decisions to make. And in case you still don't get it,' he said patronisingly, ‘it means you'll have to choose between your children or an out of work, out of shape chef. So, how are you going to negotiate that one eh, wifey?'

‘Where's Joe?' she said flatly, heart pounding.

‘Oh don't you worry about him,' smirked Tim.

‘Tell me what you've done,' screamed Jennifer who had now officially lost it. She hated him with every bit of her being. He was a cruel bastard. ‘If you've done anything to hurt him I will call the police.'

‘Oh will you now,' said Tim mildly. ‘Interesting that even after all these years you still insist on thinking I'm stupid. Ironic really. Jennifer, do you really think I'd get my hands dirty over this?'

By now Jennifer was in floods of tears. He clearly knew where Joe was and she didn't and the sense of helplessness was so intense she could hardly remain standing up.

‘Please tell me where he is?' she wept.

Tim regarded his sobbing wife with contempt.

‘Why should I?'

‘Because no matter what I've done to you, you can't do this. It's not right and you will damage your reputation if you do something stupid.'

‘But I've already explained,
I'm
not doing anything. Look at you, you're a snivelling wreck, it's pathetic.'

Hearing this, Jennifer forced herself to stop crying. Her tears were only aggravating him further and for Joe's sake she had to play this right. The situation was too serious for her to fuck it up by letting her emotions get the better of her.

‘OK listen,' she said changing gear completely. ‘I promise that if you just tell me what you know, because I can tell there's something, then we can work things out and make sure that no one ever knows about any of it. So come on Tim, tell me what's going on.'

Her tone was calm and measured and a bit like she was talking to somebody who was standing on the edge of a cliff about to throw themselves off. But it seemed to work. The madness which Jennifer had recognised in Tim's eyes seemed to be abating slightly.

‘Joe's not far from here.'

‘What do you mean?' said Jennifer, who was now wondering if he had actually lost it.

‘He's in France.'

‘Here? In France?'

‘That's what I said.'

Jennifer paused. She was confused. What the hell would Joe be doing in France? Could he really be only kilometres away from here?

‘Why? Who's he with?'

Tim regarded her coolly before replying. ‘One of my men.'

‘What do you mean one of your men, Tim?' Jennifer demanded to know. Once again fear had got the better of her and had turned her tone shrill and hysterical.

‘I'm not going to talk to you while you're in this state,' said Tim, marching brusquely past her.

But there was no way Jennifer was standing for that. Not if he really did know anything about where Joe was. Without considering what she was doing, fuelled by rage and frustration she launched at him like a woman possessed. ‘No you don't,' she screeched, grabbing at the back of his pale pink shirt.

It was an attack Tim hadn't been expecting and his loafers slipped on the terrace tiles, causing him to stagger sideways before falling to the ground at which point his wife leapt on him and stared pounding his chest with her fist.

‘Tell me what you know or I'm calling the police,' she screamed.

‘Get off, you're mad,' yelled Tim, trying to protect his face from the punches which were raining down on him.

‘Where's Joe?' she repeated, as Tim finally found the
wherewithal to fight back. Grabbing her wrists he heaved her away from him.

‘You're insane,' he yelled, flinging her to one side with considerable force. ‘Get off me, you fucking lunatic.'

Finally Jennifer's adrenaline started to subside. Panting she reached over to pick up one of her sandals which had come off and slid it back onto her foot. She also smoothed her hair back down and got up from where she was sprawled on the ground.

‘Just tell me,' she repeated. Her legs felt like jelly.

Tim regarded her for what felt like an age, clearly trying to decide what to tell her. For the first time Jennifer sensed that he was floundering a bit.

‘There's nothing to tell,' he admitted finally, his tone weary.

‘What?'

‘I just wanted to spook you, make you feel as dire as I do. I have been having him watched though and I wasn't lying about one thing, he caught a plane this afternoon.'

‘Why?'

‘Why what?'

‘Are you having him followed?'

‘Why do you think?' Tim spat. ‘Because the minute he started sleeping with my wife, what he was “up to” very much became my business. And besides, at some stage I might pay the arsehole a visit and explain that shagging your boss's wife doesn't exactly bode well when it comes to getting a reference.'

‘And you haven't done anything else?'

‘What do you take me for?'

‘OK then,' said Jennifer, whose breathing was just about returning to normal. ‘OK,' she repeated, walking away.

‘Where are you going?'

Jennifer turned round and was hit by a fresh, overwhelming sense of guilt and betrayal. Now she knew Joe was safe her focus returned to the fact that she'd just imparted the hugest of body blows to her husband. ‘To find Joe. I'm so sorry,' she said.

‘You will be,' he replied, his face sour with regret and contempt, but this time Jennifer could tell his heart wasn't in it. It was over.

The second she was out of earshot she pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialled Joe's number. To her immense relief this time it was ringing and sure enough the ringtone was foreign. She was desperate to find out what on earth he was doing in France. She hoped he was OK.

‘Hello, babe, is that you?'

‘Joe,' she exclaimed, flooded with relief. ‘Where are you?'

‘France. I've come to be near you. I've literally just got through passport control and was about to ring you but you beat me to it.'

‘And you're OK?'

‘Fine yeah course, are you? I was worried you might be mad with me for flying over but I couldn't sit around at home wondering what was going on. I've been a wreck. I know there's not a lot I can do but at least I'll be nearby if you need me.'

‘Oh my god I love you so much,' gulped Jennifer. ‘Listen, I've got loads to tell you. I'll come and meet you. Give me forty minutes or so and I'll be there. You're at Nice airport right?'

‘Yeah, but listen if it's tricky to get away…?'

‘It's not, I'm on my way. Just stay put till I get there. Promise?'

‘Promise,' he said.

And with that Jennifer grabbed a set of car keys, the ones for the jeep and, without looking back, slammed the front door behind her and raced across the gravel driveway to where the vehicle was parked. Once in the car she turned on the ignition and sped towards the electric gates, the only barrier now that lay between her and freedom. Winding down the window she punched in the code. The wait for them to open was agonising but finally they did and once there was enough space to squeeze the jeep through she took off at such a pace that the tyres screeched underneath her.