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“But it’s okay for me to leave you in there with all those
women
, right?” I countered. I was still far from angry, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t going to sound like I was. If anything, I was distraught by what I just learned in that toilet stall.

             
“I would never do anything to deceive you, especially after tonight–”

             
“Jade Smith,” I interrupted sharply.

             
His face didn’t register – but then again, I’d learned that Jaxon was a good liar. “What are you on about, Sara?”

             
“I already gathered in there by the way those guys were placing dibs on me that women get passed around like fucking church plates on Christmas. It’s pretty obvious you’ve had your share of them.” I ignored the conflicted look on his face. “But Jade Smith, Jaxon? The girl that bullied me and made me hate waking up every single morning –
her
? Are your standards so low that you’d hurt
me
in the process?”

             
For the longest time, he didn’t reply. He wouldn’t even meet my eye. I started to regret bringing this up now, especially when it meant so little compared to the real problem – which was what the fuck Jaxon was up to with these kinds of people.

             
“I don’t know what to say,” he finally said. He looked at me with resignation. The mask was off, and I saw the weariness in his eyes as he heaved a shrug. “I was hurt for the longest time. I won’t lie and say I don’t remember her. I knew what I was doing, and I could have walked away. I didn’t, though. At that point you’d moved on and I was trying to forget you. I’m sorry.”

             
I glazed over most of his words, too consumed in the pain of what he’d been up to.

             
“I’m sorry, Sara,” he repeated. “You promised the long haul, remember? Please, don’t break that promise. I’ve made mistakes – fuck, I’ve made so many – but I need you, and I’ll do anything to prove to you that I can be just as I was before. You need to give me that chance, and I promise, I
promise
with everything in me, I won’t disappoint you. We’ll talk it through, everything you want to know I’ll explain. Just not right this very second outside of this bar at the risk of being heard.”

             
Too lost for words, I succumbed to his wants and nodded. He moved into me and planted a soft kiss on my unmoving lips. Suddenly feeling detached, I looked over his shoulder as his arms wrapped around my hips.

             
“I promise,” he repeated. Chest against chest, I could feel his heart beating riotously within its confines. His palpable fear of losing me was multiplying with every second I didn’t respond. “Please, Sara.”

             
“Okay, Jaxon,” I whispered. When he kissed me again, I moved my lips against the softness of his. Still, I was detached. There was an unfamiliar tremble in my bones as the unsettling and unanswered questions weighed down on my mind.

             
The sound of footsteps nearing us interrupted our kiss. We turned and saw Damien making his way over. Jaxon dug into his pocket and pulled out a key chain. He pulled out one key and handed it to me, telling me it was his apartment key. He instructed Damien to drop me directly at the apartment door and make sure I was safely inside. Then he went back into the bar and I was following Damien to a black SUV.

*****

Five minutes into the drive and I was losing my shit. This was not what I signed up for! I didn’t come to Gosnells only to wind up here in some strange ass predicament that involved bikie gangs and other weird gangs inked with scorpion tattoos who called dibs to fuck me.

             
Suddenly the entire week’s events came crashing down on me and I was sweating up a storm when Brett’s face shone itself in my memories. The stench of his alcohol in my nose, the wild craze in his eyes, the dark intentions that radiated off of him when he cornered me in that room.

             
Then shame washed down the fear as I remembered fucking Jaxon thereafter. What in God’s name was I thinking fucking him after almost getting raped by another man? What kind of psychological fucked-upness was that? To boot, I deceived a good man who, instead of being angry at me,
defended
me!

             
Five years of burying my anger, learning to control my actions, trying to change for the better only to relapse the second my feet touched down in this god forsaken cesspool of a town. All recent certainties were no longer certain. When Jaxon had me promising to stick by him tonight, he never mentioned
this
, and although I’d been aware of a danger looming presently around him, I never once anticipated this kind of it.

             
Yet despite all of this, the unsettling feeling I had beneath the surface of my being was in regards to something entirely different. As if I was missing a certain piece to this crazy puzzle I couldn’t put my finger on. Always it tried to course its way into my thoughts, and the second it was achieving tangibility, it scurried back off into my veiled subconscious.

             
“You sure you want me to take you to Jaxon’s?” I nearly jumped at Damien’s deep voice. I looked over at him, seated comfortably behind the wheel of the car. It then occurred to me I might be sitting beside a murderer.

             
“Where else would you have me go in this wonderfully safe town?” I sarcastically asked.

             
“Home,” he stated simply.

             
“What home are you referring to?”

             
“Winthrop, Sara. Just say the word and we’ll grab your shit and go back to your safe world.”

             
I looked at him perplexedly. “You’re supposed to follow Jaxon’s commands.”

             
“There are exceptions.”

             
I was silent for a while.

             
The car finally slowed to a stop in front of a tall, luxury apartment building. Damien kept the car running, patiently waiting with his eyes forward for my direction. My body was pushing for me to open the door and get out, to go to Jaxon’s apartment and wait for him to join me. But my mind was scattered like the rain that had started up again, pelting the car softly.

             
I let out a slow breath, gripping the seat with a hand on either side.

             
“That man that attacked me,” I started slowly, looking out into the quiet dark street. “Did you kill him?”

             
“Yes.” The answer came so quick, I almost thought it was my imagination.

             
I discreetly looked over at him, even though I’m sure he could feel the intensity of my gaze. “Because Jaxon told you to.” I was mindful to make that into a statement. I didn’t need clarification. It was apparent. Still, I had to say it, almost like I needed to hear myself clarify my worst fear.

             
“The man was spineless. He didn’t deserve to live, so I’m not carrying too much guilt. Still, I’m not going to tell you the others were just as dirty.”

             
“O-Others?”

             
He exhaled, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel before he turned his dark stare on me. “I’m giving you the option to get out of this, Sara, because I know you’re smart. You’re better than this kind of life. You think you’ll be in an exclusive relationship with Jaxon? That he won’t be with other women while he’s with you?” I opened my mouth to respond, but he shook his head. “Don’t speak. Listen.”

             
The rain picked up, and with the interior car light on, the outside world looked like a black hole we were sucked up in.

             
“I’m not going to deny he loves you. He does. I’m sure he wants all the things you want too. But he’s part of the Scorpions now. Which means everything that’s his is theirs, too. Do you understand what I’m saying? Answer me.”

             
“Yes,” I whispered, fighting the tremble of my lips.

             
“Do you know what that would mean if you were his?”

             
“That-that I’d be theirs, too.”

             
He gave me a single nod. “Exactly. Just as they expect to have a piece of you, they demand of him to have a piece of their women just as well. There is no way out of this, Sara. Once you’re in, you can’t get out.”

             
It felt as though I were divided into two beings: one burning up bright for a man I wanted with everything inside of me, and the other who was clutching her shattered heart in her hand knowing there was no way I could go forward with this.

             
“Why are you telling me all of this?” It didn’t make sense for him to go against the loyalty of his men to warn me of how horrid they were.

             
“Because
you
have a choice, but you don’t have a lot of time to make it.” I didn’t realize my hand was shaking until his large hand wrapped around it.

             
“If this is how it is, what made you join?” I asked him.              

             
He laughed bitterly. “I didn’t have the luxury of choice.”              

             
“You were forced?”

             
“No, but it meant something worse if I didn’t.” I wanted to ask what, but when his face contorted to sadness, I decided not to pry.

             
I wondered why fortune smiled upon me at critical times. I certainly didn’t feel deserving of it. When I starved as a child, I was taken in by Lucinda. When I was lonely, Jaxon befriended me. When I didn’t have a job, one found me. Twice. And now this. A warning that held the weight of my future in its grip. Without Damien’s brutal honesty, I’d have blindly trusted Jaxon. I’d be in the apartment that very moment having no clue what I would be getting myself into.

             
“Home,” I breathed out before my wants could convince me otherwise. “Take me home.”

Twenty Three

Tears fell from my
eyes as we drove past the building. On our way to Lucinda, I idly consoled myself that at least I’d tell her goodbye this time. I didn’t imagine she’d want an explanation. The writing was on the wall.

             
Maybe Jaxon and I were destined to be star crossed lovers. We’d gone five years without each other and we survived, albeit with bleeding hearts. Still, we survived. We would survive again.

             
I stuffed the voice inside of me that screamed,
I don’t just want to survive! I want to love and be loved! I want to be happy! I want
him
!

             
Conflicted, I reminded myself that he was a changed man, and a part of something I couldn’t be part of. There was no way it was going to work. There was no way I was going to sit back and let those women feel entitled to him. Just thinking of that and of Jade Smith fuelled my decision even more. His excuse for even touching her and…

             
It hit me. A particular thing he said tonight.
I knew what I was doing, and I could have walked away. I didn’t, though. At that point you’d moved on and I was trying to forget you
.

             
What the fuck? How had he known I’d moved on?

             
“Damien--” I started and then screamed, terror rippling through my being in a nanosecond.

             
The impact happened in slow motion, yet it must have only been a few seconds long. The car head lights coming at his side; the screeching of brakes; the loud booming of metal against Damien’s door; the pain of my neck jolting to one side as my head cracked sharply against the window; the eerie silence that followed.

             
Dizzy and confused, I opened my eyes. Had I been unconscious? There was a loud ringing in my ears, and a mind numbing pain so great in the side of my skull. I opened my mouth to scream. Maybe I did. Or maybe it was just a whispery groan.

             
Something moved. The door? I fell to the side, but didn’t land on the ground. Water coated me and hands grabbed at me, and for a second I thought I was being rescued from the crash scene. Until I looked up, blinking away the rain, and saw a face in a balaclava mask.