Ignite (Explosive) (21 page)

Taking a deep breath, he continues to tell me tales about how this guy kept morale up for most of their time in Iraq. He swallowed hard as he recounted the mission they’d been sent out on to disable a suspected IED. They made their way to the location and successfully disarmed it without fail. He shares the sigh of relief they all felt as it was the last mission they were being sent on before they were scheduled to return home. His voice got quiet as he told me about the sniper fire they underwent when they were only about a mile away from the base. They all scrambled for cover, scanning the rooftops trying to see where the fire was coming from.

“Andrews had been on the left back side of the Humvee and I’d been in the right passenger seat. I had no idea it was him when I’d heard Sgt. Parker yelling, ‘Man down.’ At that point, the gunfire had ceased, and the downed soldier was loaded into the Humvee behind us. We made our way back to base, but it was too late. He’d been hit in the neck with an AK-47 round and was killed instantly.”

I put my arms around his neck and give him a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry, Jace.”

He hugs me back and his shoulders fall. “I can’t believe it’s been almost nine years since he’s been gone. It seems like yesterday.”

“I know what you mean… So how do the numbers play into it?” I ask, wanting to get off the subject of death.

He smiles as if he’s reliving the memory. “The first thing I did when I got home was go to the tattoo parlor. I’d already sketched out my back tattoo, so I had that planned. It wasn’t until my boots were planted firmly on the ground back in the States and I powered up my phone that I got the idea for my arm tattoo. The first thing I saw on my phone was the date. I didn’t go as far as to kiss the ground, but I couldn’t have been happier. So when the artist was done with my back, I had him put the date on my bicep. I wanted to commemorate the day I came home safely. After that, it just kind of stuck. Every deployment from then on ended with a new tattoo, and I’ll continue to do that until either I retire or don’t come back.”

Shaking my head at his statement, I pull myself back to look at him. “Please don’t say things like that, Jace. I can’t stand the thought of you going back there in two days,” I say softly.

He brushes the hair out of my face before cupping my chin. “I’m sorry, Alexa, I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean—”

I cut him off, knowing he’s thinking he’s upset me because of Ty. “I wasn’t thinking about anyone but you when you said that. After hearing about what you’ve had to see and do over there, I hate that you’re going back. I just found you again. I know it’s silly. It’s only been two days, but I can’t bear the thought of losing you again,” I say, trying to avoid his eyes.

Wrapping his arms around me, he stands, taking me with him. He turns and throws me down on the bed as he hovers over me. He comes within mere inches from my face, and I’m anxious to hear what he has to say.

“I’m trying my hardest here, babe, not to push you. I’m not lying when I say that I’m happy about how your life played out after I left. I’m glad you didn’t spend the last ten years pining for someone you knew you could never have like I did. I was happy knowing that you had a good life, a good marriage. That’s all I wanted for you. I tried, I did, but I was never able to find anyone else that I could feel even a fraction of what I felt for you.”

I’m trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill out. It kills me knowing that I moved on while he was at a standstill. And he’s right. I was happy, and it blows my mind that he’s so…content with all of this. Most guys probably would’ve run away screaming after everything I admitted to him earlier tonight, but instead he held my hand and wiped my tears away. I have no idea what kind of girls he’s been dating, but clearly they’re crazy for ever letting him go.

“Do you remember the summer that we watched David Cone pitch the perfect game?” he asks me, interrupting my thoughts and causing me to wonder where he’s going with this question.

I shudder at the thought. “Of course I remember it. It was the first perfect game I’d ever watched. It just sucked that it came from a Yankees pitcher.”

Jace laughs, knowing how I’ve always detested the New York Yankees. “Do you remember what you said to me after that game?”

I shake my head, having no idea what I said to him thirteen summers ago.

“You looked at me and you said, ‘It kind of sucks for him. He just pitched the perfect game. It can never get better than that for him.’ Do you remember me disagreeing with you and accusing you of just being a Yankees hater?”

I’m somewhat in shock that he remembers a conversation from so long ago, but now that he mentions it, I can remember myself saying that. I nod my head, and he grins down at me.

“I didn’t agree with you at the time, but I learned my lesson later. That’s what you don’t get. I’m on the pitching mound and you’re my perfect game. It will never get better than you. No matter how many times I try to duplicate it, I know that it will never, ever happen. And now that I have a second chance, I’m not going to let you go as easily as I did back then.”

“Jace—”

He interrupts me by pressing his lips to mine. “You don’t have to say anything right now, babe. I know this is probably overwhelming and a lot to take in. I… There’s just so much to say and not enough time. But let’s forget that talk for tonight. I think we’ve had enough serious conversation for one night.”

I want to tell him that I feel the same, but he’s not wrong in his assumptions. I’m both thrilled and nervous at his words. A part of me knows that I’ve always harbored feelings for him, but the other part is scared of the implications of admitting that fact. He’s just told me about how dangerous his job is, so the thought of losing him terrifies me. He’s staring down at me, so I nod in agreement.

Jace gets off of me to lie on his back on the bed. I get up and go to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and doing everything else that is a part of my nightly ritual. Coming back into the room, I slide underneath the sheets. I lie on my side away from him and he wraps his arm around me, drawing me to his body. I can’t help but think about how natural this feels. He begins to tell me funny stories he’s collected from his deployments, and it’s not long before I fall asleep in his arms, more content than I’ve felt in a very long time.

I can
hear my alarm going off, and I struggle to find my phone on the nightstand to turn it off. Hitting the snooze button, I turn towards Alexa only to find that I’m alone in bed and her side has been all made up. Getting out of bed, I head to the bathroom to get rid of this awful morning breath before going to find her. There’s no note, so I’m mentally freaking out that our conversations last night were somehow too much from her. I splash water over my face before leaning both hands against the counter, hoping that I’m wrong. Coming out of the bathroom, I smell the scent of bacon and smile at the realization that she’s still here. I throw on a t-shirt and make my way out towards the kitchen. I manage to take two steps in the living room before tiny arms are wrapping around my knees.

“Mornin’, sleepyhead! We thought you’d never wake up,” a beaming Ava exclaims to me.

I look up and catch Alexa’s gaze. She gives me a smile and shrugs. “Sierra called and said she needed a sitter earlier than expected but offered to drop her off here. We’ve just been hanging out, watching Dora.”

“I can say
hola
. That means hello in Spanish. I don’t really know why they say it different, but it sounds funny, so I like it,” Ava informs me.

Leaning down, I pick her up, smiling as she throws her arms around my neck. She gives me a kiss on the cheek before she moves towards my ear.

“Mommy said that you’d probably be tired after spending the night with Aunt Lexi, so she told me to be really quiet. It was boring, so I’m happy you’re awake now so that we can play games.”

I groan at the thought of Sierra planting any kind of idea in her daughter’s mind, as innocent as it may sound. That woman is too aggressive, and I won’t have her pushing Alexa too far, too fast. This has to go at her own pace so that she feels comfortable with it. Walking into the kitchen, I set Ava down on the counter where she can watch her aunt cook breakfast. I give Alexa a quick kiss on the lips, and Ava giggles.

“What game do you want to play today, Ava?” I ask the little girl who keeps trying to sneak a piece of bacon off of the plate.

She looks at me contemplatively for a moment before responding. “Let’s play shark attack!”

I’m at a loss as to what this game is. Clearly Alexa sees the confusion on my face and she saves me by explaining the rules. Apparently, the three of us are supposed to go down to the pool for this game. I have to swim around using my hand as a shark’s fin as I try to devour one of them. How in the hell a four-year-old knows a game like this is beyond me, but then again she is a Banks kid.

“How about we go down to the beach and look for seashells?” I ask her.

Ava looks at me with disdain, wrinkling her nose at me, and I cringe at the thought that a four-year-old finds me lame. “Seashells are for babies. We have to play sharks! Daddy always plays sharks with me, even when Mommy gets mad at him for biting her.”

I know I’m not going to win this argument, so I agree to play sharks with her as long as she promises to look for shells with me later. She nods, and I leave her in the kitchen with her aunt so I can go change. When I return Alexa is giggling as Ava tries to shovel a heaping spoonful of scrambled eggs into her mouth and most of them end up on the floor. I feel a sudden pull in my heart, wishing that this was my reality.

“Ladies, ready for a day of fun in the sun?”

Ava sighs before responding. “I guess. Mommy says I can’t catch crabs or it’ll itch, so I have to be good. I just really like playing with their shells.”

I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculously random things this kid says. They finish up eating breakfast, and I steal quite a few pieces of bacon as they disappear into the bathroom in order to get ready to go to the pool. I gather up towels and sunscreen, and it’s not five minutes until we’re out the door, ready to face the day.

A few hours later, I find myself sandwiched between these two relentless girls who apparently take great joy in splashing men with copious amounts of water. Truthfully, Ava isn’t doing much damage due to her floaties, but her aunt sure is making up for it. Before I know it, another assailant in the form of Sierra lands in the water, completely covering me in the waves from her cannonball. I hear male laughter and look up to see Jeremy laughing his ass off at me.

He sees my scowl and holds his hands up. “Hey, man, I’ve been dealing with these three for the past four years. You’ve only had two days. I’m glad they’ve found another man to torture. So much so that I think I’ll sit this one out.”

“Daddy, come in the water so we can play!” Ava squeals just as Jeremy takes a seat on a lounge chair.

“Sorry, baby, but Daddy’s staying out of the water this time,” he tells her.

“You’re no fun! I need you to come in here and play sharks with me. Jace tried to but he didn’t make a very good one. He was kind of slow,” she says, shrugging at me.

Sierra snickers at that while she pokes me in the shoulder. “Getting slow in your old age, eh, McAllister? I’ve heard you’ve been having issues with…your speed.”

Alexa hears the tail end of her comment and flicks water into her face. That causes a whole new water fight, and I struggle to make my way out of the pool so that I can watch the women duke it out from the sidelines.

“I don’t know how you do it, man. Those three are crazy,” I tell Jeremy.

“Dude, they’re a handful, but I couldn’t imagine my life without them. It’d be so incredibly boring,” Jeremy says as he smiles at his women in the pool.

I nod in agreement, knowing full well that I’d give up peace and quiet to have my own family like this. We continue to watch them for a few minutes, laughing as Sierra and Ava begin to gang up on Alexa.

“So how’s everything going, man? Sierra seems really happy that you and Lexi have been hanging out so much.”

I contemplate on how much I want to tell him, but honestly there’s not too much to say that would be too embarrassing or personal to divulge.

“Things are going really well. It feels like nothing’s changed, like we weren’t just apart for so many years. We’ve been able to catch up on the last decade of our lives, and it’s just been great to be around her again,” I answer.

“That’s good to hear. We always wondered what the hell happened, but she’d never tell us. I know Sierra planned out this whole thing so that you two would have to interact again. I have to admit, I was nervous and pretty pissed at her because I didn’t think Lexi was ready. But I gotta tell you, man, I haven’t seen her this happy in a really long time,” he responds.

I try but fail to stop the huge smile that comes to my face at his words. “It’s nice to hear you say that. She seems like she’s been happy, and that’s all I want for her.”

“Good. Now, Sierra told me you haven’t hit it yet. What gives?” he asks, causing me to choke of the sip of water I was taking.

“Seriously, Banks? That’s your sister-in-law!”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Come on, man. She was married for seven years. I know she’s no virginal flower. Speaking of…” He pauses as he hits me in the shoulder. “You freaking dog. We had no idea you took her virginity until the beginning of this trip. That. Is. Awesome,” he finishes, emphasizing every word.

I start to speak when he continues. “I mean, everyone knew you two had a thing for each other. We had bets on how long it was going to be until you guys started making out at the lunch table. I didn’t think you’d make it past junior year with the way you followed her around like a lost puppy.”

“I did no such thing,” I protest. “We were best friends who hung out all the time. That’s natural.”

He slaps me on the back, chuckling. “Whatever you say. All I know is that I’m glad you’ve reconnected. She needs a good man in her life again, and I know Ty would approve.” He falters at his words before clearing his throat. “Has she talked to you about that at all?”

“Yeah, we’d actually just finished talking about it when you two came back last night. She was really open with me about him. Look, I know you probably know that I’m going to try to pursue some kind of relationship with her. Whatever she’ll give me. But also know that I’ll never ask her forget all the years she spent with him. I’m not that kind of guy. I want her to have those memories and to cherish them. In a way, I’m thankful that he was there to love her and take care of her. She deserved that. She still does, and I’m going to try my damnedest to be that guy if she’ll let me.”

“Okay, dude, now you’re just getting heavy with me, and I’m not the best person to talk to about this chick shit. Just be there for her like you’ve been and it’ll all work out. Oh, and one piece of advice. Don’t let her leave here without getting laid.”

I throw my water bottle at his head and he tries to knock it away.

“What the hell, man? That’s good advice! You need to lay claim to that, and you know, actually come back this time,” he says in all seriousness.

I grin as I begin to tell him about my new post once I return to the States. Knowing that I’m only going to be a few hours away from her makes me feel that this can actually work. I can’t wait to tell her, which is just what I’m going to do tonight.

My thoughts are interrupted as Ava walks up to me, grabbing my hand. I rise up from the chair to follow wherever she’s choosing to lead. Hopefully nowhere near crabs so Sierra doesn’t freak out. Although, come to think of it, it’d be pretty damn funny.

Jeremy catches Ava before she can pass him, but she pulls herself out of his grip and keeps walking with me in hand.

“Ava bear, aren’t you gonna give your old man some love?” Jeremy calls after her.

She stops dead in her tracks and releases my hand. In pure Sierra Sullivan style, she slowly turns around to face him. With hands on her hips, she lets out an exasperated sigh.

“No, Daddy, I’m going with Uncle Jace to find some sea shells,” she tells him.

“But you don’t even like sea shells!” her father exclaims.

“I told him I’d find shells with him if he played sharks with me. He might have been slow and boring, but he still played. I asked you and you said no. So I’m going to the beach to search for shells with him and you can sit here and cry about it.”

Sierra lets out a loud cackle as Alexa just shakes her head and beams at us. Ava reclaims my hand and leads me out onto the beach. We start walking up and down the sand, finding practically nothing but broken shell pieces. We spend about half an hour scouring the shore, only to come up with a few shells that are actually intact.

Ava plops down on the sand and sighs. I sit down next to her and watch as she spells out her name in the sand.

“What’s wrong, Ava?” I ask, not knowing why she seems so despondent.

She kicks the sand before she looks at me. “I told you that looking for sea shells was silly. There aren’t any here. We could’ve been looking for crabs this whole time if Mommy wasn’t so scared of them.”

A wicked thought comes to mind, and I know Sierra deserves it after all of her manipulations from this week.

I lean down and whisper into Ava’s ear. “Why don’t we find a crab to scare Mommy and Aunt Lexi with?”

She giggles and turns to face me. “I’ll get in trouble!”

I tickle her tummy and laugh as she squeals. “I won’t let you get in trouble, Freckles,” I say as I tap the brown spot on the tip of her nose.

“Promise?” she asks, holding up her pinky as she waits for mine to conform to hers.

“Promise. This will be all on me, capisce?”

“Kuh-peesh!!” she says slowly, sounding out each syllable.

I laugh as I stand up and pull her along with me. We head back towards the resort as she tells me stories of Ariel and how she was finally able to walk so that she could find Prince Eric. She forgets her quest to find a crab as she eagerly chats with me about Disney princesses. We make our way onto the pool deck where she spots her parents hanging out in the pool, Alexa leaning against the edge. She drops my hands and runs straight towards the pool and into Jeremy’s arms. I’d be lying if I said my breath didn’t catch as I watched her hit the water, and I breathed a sigh of relief when Jeremy held her up high in his arms.

Alexa strolls up beside me, her fingers trailing along my forearm. “Had enough of playing the uncle role today?” she asks.

“Actually, I’ve found myself wishing I was able to be around more to be an uncle. I hardly ever get to see Clay’s or Carrie’s kids. I had a blast with Ava today, regardless if she was splashing me with massive amounts of water or imploring me to win her the stuffed gorilla from the bowling game earlier on the pier she made me play before we went to the pool.”