Igniting the Wild Sparks (28 page)

Sparks
makes an effort to keep glaring at me; however, his eyes grudgingly blink closed. As I ride him, I can tell his body is warring with his mind to concede to me. Frustrated, his hands leave my hips to go into his hair and he testily pulls, wincing and biting his lip. Without his hands on my hips, I rise up and slam back down on him exponentially, feeling him becoming even more rigid, and despite the pain, I’m able to keep going.

When I think I’m doing this by myself, he un
expectedly thrusts his hips up, ultimately giving in. Still pulling his own hair, he begrudgingly boosts his hips more rapidly as he grits his teeth until he exasperatedly roars, “Fuck!” in pleasure and fury at giving in to me, I think.

Though
it wasn’t an official dare and I’m sure he’s furious at himself for yielding to his weakness, I smile at my small victory over Finn Wilder once more.

Roughly panting, h
is hands return to my hips, still trying to slow me down as we move against each other. He breathlessly groans, “Oh, Becks.
Shit
.” Oh, no. This is working against my advantage. He’s going to come soon, leaving me with little time for me to have mine. I clutch his hips with my knees and push him in deeper, but the pain grips me instead. Desperate, I grab his right hand and put his fingers above our union.

His eyes open in astonishment and
I beseech, “I need it, Sparks.
Please.
” He surprisingly is cooperative and rubs me as I extort him for my own gain. We both close our eyes as I ride both his dick and fingers. Suddenly, he grunts and stops moving as his body forfeits. Damn it. I feel his hot finale streaming into me as he pauses, but I continue to glide against him. Finally, his fingers incite me and I drive onto him, grinding through the pleasure and pain.

“Don’t stop. Please don’t,” I beg. I raise my hands and lift my hair, holding it on top of my head as the strong waves finally yank me under, easing the intense hunger I had for him and temporarily enabling the pain.

As I fall from the high, the pain returns with reinforcements. I sharply gasp and drop down to the bed, curling into a ball next to Sparks. The pangs ease as I catch my breath.

He turns to face me
. His eyes are on the border of indignation and alarm. “Are you okay? What the
hell
is going on with you?”

I raspingly stammer, “I-I just wanted you
.”

“Damn it! You’re not going to heal!
You were out of control, Becks! I told you I didn’t want to!”

I mutter against my pillow. “You wanted to. You were hard, Finn.”

He snaps, “I can’t help it! You shouldn’t have done that!”

“Why are you complaining? You got laid.” I really shouldn’t have
said
that. What a bitch.

He irritably
swipes his hand over his mouth, but that doesn’t keep him from barking, “Thanks! That’s all I fucking care about!” His eyes drift to my stomach. “Are you hurting?”

“Only a little.” A lot, but it’s not as bad as it was. Right now
, I’m more appalled by my actions than I am in pain.

“Are you telling me the truth? Because you’re acting like you’re in some serious pain.”

“It’s not that bad.” I carefully get up and mumble, “I’m going to go get a shower.” I need to recover alone so he doesn’t see the pain
or
the shame on my face.

I go to my dresser and when I peek into the mirror,
I see him adjust himself as he slowly sits up and guardedly watches me. “I can take one with you.”

Fuck
. He’s suspicious and a lot more forgiving than he should be. I completely used him. That wasn’t even making love. It was raw, straight-up fucking.

“I’m good. I need to shave my legs.” I can’t believe that’s all I could come up with. How sexy, not that what I just did to him was.

Shaking, I manage to grab the clothes I need and make a hasty exit.

I shut the bathroom door as the tears flow.
Holding onto my tender stomach, I lean against the door and slide down to the floor.

I just had sex with Finn Wilder against his will. I hope he can forgive me.

What the
fuck
is my problem?

CHAPTER
13

Finn doesn’t knock on the door to ask if I’m okay. He hates me. I totally violated him. He’s probably calling Ricky to have me arrested and thrown in jail. Maybe it’s worse. Maybe he called his
mother
and told her. How… I don’t even have a word for how I’d feel if Julie knew what I just did to her son.

Holding my stomach to ease the pain and to somehow keep me from throwing up, I grab onto the door handle and slowly slide up against the door to stand, checking to make sure I locked the door. I turn the tub faucet on and the roaring sound of the water helps to distract me a little from the screaming in my head and my stomach. I avoid looking at my reflection over the sink. I can’t look at myself without getting sick or breaking the mirror.

I take off my underwear, step into the tub and pull the teddy bear curtain closed before pulling the shower knob. Closing my eyes, I let the hot water spray onto my face, trying to cleanse myself of my gross behavior, but nothing will erase the horrifying movie replaying over and over in my mind.

I’ll be forever trapped in here. The cops will have to smoke me out
or worse, Ricky will have to break down the door with guns blazing and drag his BFF’s ex-girlfriend out in handcuffs, naked. At the trial, all of Finn’s friends will be in the courtroom shaking their heads at me and whispering. Julie will be crying and have to be escorted from the premises. Simone will call me a nasty whore who attacked her big brother. My dad will tell me that it’s a good thing Finn didn’t want to marry me and that he considers Finn his son, but I’m disowned. Val will say the orange color in my aura was hope that I’ll be locked away forever. Finn will show up to my trial every day, glaring at me from behind my lawyer, some random defense attorney since none of my coworkers would defend me for what I’ve done. My face and mortifying story will be all over the news, his coworkers offering their sympathies for him being involved with a sex monster. He’ll go on talk shows to say how it’s a relief to be rid of me and he
really
dodged a bullet by refusing to marry me. He’ll actually start playing the field and date one of his third basemen, most likely the slut. They’ll get engaged on
The Wild Side
, marry in his church, honeymoon in Niagara Falls and she’ll soon in rapid succession give birth to their four gorgeous, perfect kids: two boys and two girls, no doubt, all with magical, color-changing hair, chocolate brown eyes, and cocky, crooked smiles. They’ll live in a mansion, drive expensive sports cars, own a private jet, a baseball team, a soccer team, an entire television network, and buy a small state, like Vermont or a small sub-planet, like Pluto. They’ll live happily ever after in one of their many homes, laughing at me rotting away alone in Alcatraz, chained to a rocket carrying a poisonous gas that will take out San Francisco.

Maybe I’ve seen
The Rock
too many times.

The water pressure drops as the toilet flushes. The door was locked! It’s probably Ricky making a pit stop before he busts me. I can’t even look.

The metal hooks grate loudly against the pole as the curtain slides open and someone steps behind me into the tub. If it is Ricky, I hope he at least brought a towel for me so I can hold onto a tiny shred of my dignity.

The tub darkens as the curtain loudly slides closed, hopefully in time to shield my perverted
body from the entire SWAT team.

Strong
hands clasp my upper arms and a naked torso rubs against my back. I so pray it’s not Ricky. All I need is another reason for Finn to hate me. Taking a shower with his best friend would indeed be one of those.

“Hey. What’s going on with you?” Finn asks next to my ear, his deep voice sounding even richer reverberating off the fiberglass wall. The shower is so much nicer at his apartment, not that I’ll ever see it again. I’ll be taking mine in an open set-up at a prison with other women judging me
; comparing tattoos and boobs. I suppose I can get inked before I go. Would it be in bad taste to ask Finn for a referral?

I stare
with rising panic at my white shampoo bottle. “How’d you get in here?”

He proudly states over my head, “I can pick a lock.”

I narrow my eyes. “Are you also best friends with a cat burglar?”

“Huh?”

“I’m sure Ricky would
love
to hear about that one.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

My emotions finally get the best of me and I lose it. “I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!” A sob escapes my throat and I cover my mouth so that I don’t hurl on the wall to top off my great day.

“
Forgive you?
For?”

“You didn’t want it!” I
anxiously rub my hands over my face, and shudder. “Taking advantage of you, and even without protection!” I cry into my black-nailed hands as the shower water beats down on my forearms.

Squeezing my upper arms, Sparks leans into me
. “I didn’t want you to hurt more. Of course I wanted you. I always do, baby.”

“Yeah, but I…I assaulted you. I violated you.” I can’t even say the r-word
because I will certainly puke.

He arbitrarily chuckles
and I raise my head at the sound. “Um, no. You might be strong emotionally and can take a softball to the stomach, but I’m a hell of a lot stronger than you physically. You’re a lightweight, Becks. If I truly didn’t want to have sex with you, I wouldn’t have. I wanted you and I couldn’t stop myself.” He clears his throat and lowly imparts, “You’re the death of me. I told you that.”

“You were mad and said you weren’t ‘a willing participant.’”

“I was pissed off because you weren’t taking it slow and I didn’t want to contribute any more to your pain. Plus, you weren’t listening to a damn thing I said, as usual. Now you’re probably hurting.”

I grumble to the shower wall,
“Only a little.”

Reaching around to my stomach, Sparks’ fingers
smoothly glide over the bruise that’s below my ribcage to my belly button. I tense from the movement. He must notice because his fingers stiffen and he says, “I don’t want you practicing this weekend.”

“I’m f—”

“Don’t even say that fucking f-word, Becks.” Since he can’t see my face, I briefly smile at his incongruity. “You’re not. You won’t take it easy and I’m responsible for that. I still can feel a knot on your stomach. No practice.” At least he can’t feel the knot
in
my stomach.

“Can I at least watch?”

“No because you’ll sit there and bitch about it every time I walk by. I’ll pass. I don’t need the distraction.”

“But an okay distraction would be me walking around in just my bra and underwear, right?”

“Damn it. Don’t make this difficult. I know how you’d be because you’ve been that way at practice already.”

“Well,
shit, coach. Am I permanently being benched? I’m such a valuable left fielder,” I acerbically gripe, fully aware I sound like a brat.

“Keep it up with your mouth and you will be.”
As I said.

I huff, “You’re mean.” His fingers drift
across my bruise, which slightly throbs and yet, his touch is soothing at the same time.

“No, I’m in love with my
stubborn-as-hell left fielder and I want to protect her, so please, just let me.”

“She sounds like a lucky bitch.” I can’t help but smile
into the shower water.

“
Well, I’m a lucky bastard.” I laugh and his chest heaves against my back as he laughs with me, our playfulness echoing off the shower walls.

Sparks
kisses the top of my wet head and turning around, I peer up to his damp, brown hair. He warily eyes me, probably waiting for me to fight with him. Instead, I send my arms around his waist and give him a hug, holding onto him under the water and feeling his heart beating against my cheek, loving him even more for being there through my craziness. For loving me when even I don’t. He truly is my best friend.

“I love you, too, Sparks. More than
I
realized.”

He lifts my chin and bends to kiss me.
Smiling over his lips, I reach up and trail my fingers along the side of his face, through his rough stubble, and let my hand fall until I snag the chain around his neck to hold onto his key.

The bridal shower was fun. Morgan
received so many gifts for a last-minute shindig, as Rod called it. I gave her a frilly wedding album, glass picture frames, and deciding she can pick out whatever else she wants, a gift card for Macy’s, her favorite store. Tonya was in charge of games and she did cute, wedding-related word puzzles, and a wedding-themed game of Charades. Rod would’ve had a field day with his rude comments if he had seen Tonya play. At least she wore a very short skirt to act out sliding the garter on. I’m still speechless about that.

After the shower Saturday, I listened to Finn and stayed home while he coached practice. He said everyone was asking about me since most of
my coworkers saw me at the shower and I had said nothing about skipping practice. He told everyone I was fine and just needed some rest.

That night, Sparks refused to let me go to Mass and he didn’t want to go without me
again. I feel monumentally bad. He missed it last week, too. Am I a bad influence on him? He wanted me resting, so that’s what we did. We vegged out together on the couch and watched a movie. I laid my head on his leg, while he stroked my hair, making me fall asleep a quarter through the movie. I suck as a date.

Sunday, we stayed in bed most of the morning…actually sleeping. It’s nice to share mundane things with him, instead of feeling like we’re on a timetable until one of us leaves Sunday evening. Now I forget why I fought it so much.

When I come out of the bathroom, Sparks is eating a bowl of cereal on the couch while watching The Weather Channel. Okay… Not expected from him. Since we don’t watch a lot of TV together, I thought he only watched the News or ESPN when not watching a movie with me. He has his glasses on, his hair is a beautiful mess and he’s wearing a pair of dark blue boxers with a gray T-shirt. Perfection. However, I
must
control myself.

I walk over to him, stopping at a respectable distance.
“Where do you have to go for your trip today?”

He swirls his cereal around with his spoon and says,
“Pennsylvania. A big dare at a grade school tomorrow before they let out for the summer. My buddy Sam dared me. We met at Philip Merrill sophomore year. Now, he’s a station manager at our affiliate up there. He keeps trying to snag me and giving me my own show like the one I have now, but paying a hell of a lot more than I get paid here.”

“Why haven’t you?”

He shrugs and takes a bite. Remembering what Val told me about his green aura and his lofty ambitions, I hesitantly ask, “Don’t you want more in your career?”

Sparks
glances up at me from behind his glasses as he finishes chewing. Damn, he’s so sexy.
Must. Focus
. “Sometimes, but I’m good.” A heaviness settles in the pit of my stomach. I think he’s being less than truthful.