I'll Be Damned (Anna Wolfe Series) (36 page)

Placing my hands on my hips, I try to display my impatience.

"The benefits, however, of making an appearance override Valen's concerns. Micah will be there," he adds. "So, the chances of Janie being there are very high," he finishes, glaring at Valen. "Besides, there are others we can gain support from."

"Janie might be there?” I inquire. Roman nods his head yes. “And people will help us?" I ask.

"Yes, Anna. After all, I did," Roman answers.

Valen looks at me. "Anna, it's out of the question."

I'm getting sick of people making decisions on my behalf. After all, I'm not hiding, and I don't want Micah to think he won, especially since my powers become stronger every day. "I think it's a great idea." I address Valen, saying, “If there’s a chance Janie is there, then you bet your ass I’m going to find out. Besides, Roman's right. If we can recruit others, it can only help us. Think about it, Valen, if this war does happen, do you think the three of us will be able to defend ourselves longer than ten minutes max?"

Valen inches towards me. "If everyone knows who you are... what you are... it will also increase the likelihood that more will come after you," Valen warns, staring at Roman. "I won't risk her safety."

I grumble. "I'm tired of everyone making my decisions while assuming they know what is best for me. I realize the dangers of exposing myself, but I also understand the consequences of not doing so. If there's a possibility Janie is there and we can recruit people who will support us, then I want to go," I demand, glaring at him.

From the corner of my eye, a triumphant smirk appears on Roman's face, adding even more fuel to my anger. He enjoys having the upper hand with Valen, but I won’t willingly enable him. I need to do this regardless of the ramifications. I turn to Roman. “Roman, I want to start training everyday, all day, so I’m ready. I want you to teach me everything." I narrow my eyes. "My visual clairvoyance needs work too," I add.

Roman stands in shock at my forwardness. He bows at me patronizingly. "I'm at your service."

"Anna, this isn't a good idea," Valen pleads.

I meet his stare, but I’m unwilling to bend. "I'm doing this, Valen, and you can either be a part of it or not. It's your choice."

"Your birthday is the night of the ball. We don't know what can happen. It's best if you're here... at home," he finishes with no attempt to hide his angst.

"Interesting," Roman interrupts. "Well, this causes a problem. Anna. Valen is right. We don't know what will happen when your transition begins."

"You should know, Roman, you're a warlock. Haven't you ever seen a witch transition before?"

He strokes his chin with his hand, no doubt, sifting through countless memories from hundreds of years. "I have, but it's different for everyone. Some witches go through painful changes, while others don't experience any pain at all. Let's be clear, Anna; when I speak of pain, it’s excruciating. It's nothing like the tremors you have now. These will completely incapacitate you, exposing you while you’re most vulnerable... which means no powers. There's no way we can predict what will happen. The best we can do is to put a healing spell on you, but as soon as you begin your transition, we have to leave," he says, appearing satisfied.

Valen lets out a grunt of anger as I absorb Roman’s words. It's a risk, but definitely worth it for Janie. We also need to find as many supporters as possible. He nods reluctantly, turning his back to us and retreating into the house. He knows we’re right, regardless of any personal feelings. Not much is said after that.

My training begins, allowing Roman and me time to concentrate. Hours pass like seconds as we practice numerous spells. From binding to healing, I learn everything. I listen intently, determined to excel in each task. After all, my time is limited. The sun turns the dusk sky to an angry pink, threatening tomorrow’s weather.

“Anna,” Roman says.

I look at him and see a yellow orb in his hand. I am well aware of what he plans to do with it.

“Yes?” I respond coyly.

“You’re distracted,” he says, lifting his head towards the sky.

As soon as the last syllable escapes his mouth, the bright orb flies towards me. I quickly drop and roll out of its way, unscathed.

“Bravo,” Roman replies.

I roll my eyes as I stand up, brushing the dirt and grass off my arms. I look down to find I’m still covered in layers of it, so why bother? Plopping my butt on the ground, I silently inform Roman it’s break time. He sits down next to me, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead before leaning back on his arms. Spell practice takes a lot of hard work. The spells literally drain all my energy.

“So this ball,” I ask, “will it be safe?”

Roman turns his head to look at me. “Of course. Do you think I would put you in harm’s way?”

His question gives me pause. The truth is, I don’t know what his intentions are and I never believed in blind faith. “Not necessarily, but I’m worried about Micah. His powers are incredibly strong, and although we’ve been working hard to fully develop my powers,” I pause for emphasis, “it’s not going to be enough to defeat him,” I finish.

Roman smiles. “Anna, it would take years of practice before you could defeat him. His powers are great and varied, but he isn’t the most powerful warlock.”

His smug expression suggests he might be referring to himself. Normally, arrogance looks disgusting on a man, but Roman wears it well. He adds just the right amount of sexy into everything he does.

“I assumed he was the almighty warlock," I reply mockingly.

Roman inhales deeply. “He was my student centuries ago.”

I nearly choke. Micah was his student? 

“He was one of my best students, as a matter of fact. He was extremely devoted and ambitious, but there was always something different about him,” he sighs. “Not all demons of the Netherworld are born evil, they have to work at it. Centuries ago, I was hell-bent on changing the Netherworld… to teach magic wisely,” he laughs indifferently. “I was naïve, and believed there was a certain amount of good stashed inside everyone…” he trails off. “Over the years, Micah turned to black magic before finally refusing to remain under my tutorship,” he says.

Roman’s eyes seem bottomless and empty. I remain silent, loath to comment on his confession. Minutes pass as Roman stares into the woods. My body starts protesting in pain, so I roll backwards and lie on my spine. Placing my hands behind my head, I interlace my fingers and observe the sun has abandoned the sky to the stars, allowing them to twinkle brightly in the night. 

“I should have recognized the signs,” he adds, looking regretful.

“Roman, everyone makes mistakes. Micah chose what he wanted regardless of how you tried to help. You can't blame yourself for his decisions, or whatever good you tried to do.”

He shrugs. I know he feels responsible for Micah, but there’s only so much influence you can have on someone’s choices. I sigh, amazed at how complicated my life is becoming. I used to be normal - standard job, everyday friends… now my life consists of all things magic with barely a sprinkle of normalcy.

“I’ll tell you one thing. I won’t make the same mistake again,” he suddenly announces.

“What mistake?”

“I won’t let a demon control anyone in my life,” he says, turning to me, his eyes ablaze.

Before I know it, Roman's caressing the sides of my face with his hand. Shock spreads from my limbs and into my brain. I lie there, unable, and perhaps, unwilling to move. My better reasoning screams at me to stop what is about to happen, but I ignore it. He lowers his head, gently grazing his lips over mine. Automatically, I respond, allowing his tongue inside my mouth. His lips are full and soft, so delicate to the touch. My brain registers the sound of footsteps coming from the left of me, and I try to break away from him. The footsteps stop right next to my head. In a flash, Roman is violently jerked off me. My brain snaps awake, gradually accepting what just happened. What the hell is going on? I turn to Valen. I’ve never seen him so angry, not even when he saved me from Micah. His narrowed eyes turn a deep yellow, making him look more sinister than his mood.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Valen shouts at him.

Roman adjusts his posture. “Teaching Anna an important lesson,” he replies unemotionally.

My ears perk up at the mention of my name. I stand and make my way towards him. “What do you mean a lesson?” I spit.

Roman grins hesitantly. “To never let your guard down,” he simply states.

I look at Valen, who refuses to acknowledge my presence. I turn back to Roman in disgust.

“How dare you!?” I yell.

“Anna, I didn’t do anything to you,” he grins, “except to amplify your existing attraction.”

I'm speechless. He pulled a Micah on me. I’m sick of being emotionally, mentally and physically violated. My power surges inside of me, threatening to lash out. “It doesn’t give you the right to manipulate me,” I respond grumpily.

“The right?” he bellows. “You need to detach yourself from this world. The Netherworld doesn’t care about your human rights,” he roars. “They only look after their own desires and needs. You can’t trust anyone, Anna, especially a Netherworlder. I sensed your attraction the minute I met you,” he says, stepping towards me. “You need to be more vigilant when you decide to play hostess to a werewolf and a warlock. Nice men are few and far between, my dear,” he adds in a patronizing tone.

Valen stands there, glaring at Roman. His hands become tightly balled fists clamped by his sides.

"Anna, I apologize for my approach. I should have told you, but considering the ball is coming up, you need to be aware of the colossal magic that will surround you. You need to recognize when someone is manipulating you," Roman says, his voice dripping with sexual innuendo.

"Don't ever do anything like that again, or you will no longer be welcome in my home," I retort, turning towards the house.

I pound my feet, listening to the mushy grass gurgling under each heavy stomp of simmering anger. Now, Roman has gotten under my skin, big time. It's not okay to force someone to act on impulse. I don’t know if it was his lack of emotions that bothered me more, or what he actually did. He used me as a pawn in his pissing contest with Valen. I walk in the house, slamming the door. The sound reverberates through the empty house and startles me. I sprint upstairs, thankful Martello has gone to work. I just want to take a shower and go to bed.

***

The days fly by. Training nonstop is very time-consuming. Kristy chose to stay with me out of fear of Micah. I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited. The house was filled with too much testosterone, and I crave a much needed, overanalyzing girl talk. I haven't seen or heard from Janie since the night I blasted Micah. Roman believes he blocked her from appearing in my dreams, which worries me even more. The tension between Roman and Valen is still high, but it's only been two weeks since Roman's stunt. I sigh when a deep cramp pummels the inside of my body, making me feel like Muhammad Ali’s punching bag. I can’t get used to this. My cramping goes on all day long since Roman began training me. He swears it's because my birthday is only days away, but I believe the constant summoning of my powers has more to do with it. Valen is helping train me physically, but things aren’t the same between us. He keeps his distance every chance he gets by avoiding me entirely, or finding safety in numbers. Normally, Martello and Kristy watch us from the porch; except tonight, their seats are empty. Maybe that’s why he’s being extra unpleasant to me.

“You’re not concentrating,” Valen says, irritated.

His voice jars me momentarily. My eyes float open just in time to see him place his fingers on the bridge of his perfectly sculpted nose and squeeze. His jaw is set in a tight line, revealing his impatience, which I see a lot more often these days. Maybe he’s nervous about the ball, or anxious to get rid of me. Either way, he pisses me off continuously.
Of course, I’m not concentrating. How can I when you occupy every last one of my thoughts?
I scream in my head, wishing I had the balls to tell him. I close my eyes, halting my mind. Remembering what Roman said, I find the power inside me. I can only laugh inwardly after the first few minutes of failure. I feel like I’m trying to lasso water. I groan, meeting Valen’s aggressive gaze.

“What?” I mutter.

“Anna, are you taking this seriously?” he asks me testily.

“Of course, I am."

“It doesn’t seem like it. In fact, it's seems like just the opposite,” he says arrogantly.

My annoyance boils under my skin. “Of course, I’m doing the best I can, Valen! Maybe if you quit being such a prick, I could focus on something besides how much you piss me off,” I yell. Angry tears pool in my eyes, but I hold them back. I hate being angry and hurt at the same time; it’s so exhausting. A fleeting glimpse of hurt crosses his face before he looks blank. I reprimand myself for thinking such stupid thoughts. He doesn’t care. All he cares about is the stupid Treaty and keeping me from seeing Micah again. An uncomfortable silence grows between us as we stare at one another, waiting.

“Try again,” he says. His eyes are hard, disguising any emotions.

I continue trying, only to become increasingly frustrated. All I manage to accomplish tonight is getting a sore lower back and throwing a few energy orbs. I almost forgot the small gust of wind I pushed through the trees. My mental block has a name: it’s Valen.

“Maybe you shouldn't train me anymore,” I state, shocked at the words that tumble out of my mouth.

He looks just as surprised. “What?”

“You're such a jerk, and frankly, I’m tired of it. I can’t focus when you’re here, especially when you act like this... maybe it’s better for both of us if I just train with Roman, or by myself.”

I can’t believe I'm deliberately pushing him out of my life. I never thought I would have the strength to stand up to him. It's good to know my heart’s emergency shut-off valve still works. I turn my back to him and start walking towards the house, feeling defeated as silent tears dampen my cheeks.

"Anna, wait," he calls.

I stop walking.

He exhales. "I'm sorry... really, I am," he pauses. "I know I've been a jerk, but it’s hard being around you when all I want to do is touch you… It’s easier to be rude. I figured if I pushed you away, you wouldn't want me," he finishes in a shaky voice.

I turn around slowly until I face him. "Easier for you? How can you stand there and tell me you care when all you do is hurt me because it's easier for you?"

He paces nervously. "I don't know. It's not that I don't care, Anna," he admits, sighing. "I care more than you can imagine. I care for you so much, I have to force myself to stay away from you. You deserve better, someone who can protect you. Someone who's not involved in this kind of lifestyle," he counters, spreading his arms as though his lifestyle were on display like a yard sale.

I snort. "What lifestyle? Oh, you mean the supernatural one? That makes a lot of sense, Valen, bearing in mind I'm a witch! Did you ever consider any normal relationship I might’ve wanted is a dream? Besides, who are you to dictate whom I deserve?" I snarl, narrowing my eyes at him.

He returns my gaze. "I'm doing this for your safety, Anna,” he argues, pointing his finger at me. “This isn’t for my benefit, believe me. I can't stand acting like this, but I can't help it."

I laugh. "You can't help it? The last time I checked, you're an adult, which allows you to make adult decisions. You decided to push me away with cruelty and unkindness rather than just be honest with me. Well, Valen, you succeeded! You should be very proud of yourself." I pummel my words at him like fists.

I'm so angry, I turn back towards the house. I storm inside, going straight upstairs. I slam my door so hard, I’m surprised it's not hanging off the hinges. Throwing myself on my bed, my tears fall freely and I lose myself in them, dwelling on the pain I ignored for so long. I sob for twenty minutes before succumbing to sleep. It wasn't even good, considering how exhausted I've been. My dreams of Valen torture me, while Janie is nowhere to be found. Even when I consciously try to reach out to her, I get nothing. I toss for hours, trying to dump them, but my mind won't cooperate. I open my eyes, not realizing I slept through the night, if you can call it that. It's still dark even though dawn isn't far away. I glimpse at the clock's bright display, which reads 4:30 AM. I close my eyes, and force myself back to sleep.

Thoughts are bumping into each other like people at rush hour in New York City. Sleep is no longer an option at this point, so I might as well practice. I toss the comforter off me, sliding out of bed. I dress in jeans and a zip-up sweatshirt, in case the night’s chilly air still lingers. I tiptoe past Valen’s room and down the stairs. I open the back door just enough to soundlessly slip outside. Cold air stings my cheeks, and I wrap my arms around myself to prevent it from sneaking into my sweatshirt. How strange. It’s never frigid this time of the year. I shrug off the idea of a winter jacket. I’ll warm up after a few energy exercises.

Marching into the field, I notice the temperature drops another ten degrees. A thin tendril of mist floats only inches above the ground, lurching from the trees, and bringing with it a feeling of uneasiness. I ignore my gut feeling, defying every scary movie survival tip. I drop into some lunges, grateful for the heat climbing up my body. I close my eyes, willing an energy orb to appear, which it does, like clockwork. The ruby ball levitates a few inches off my palm, spinning repeatedly. It's a beautiful work of art, really. The idea that a softball-sized sphere can inflict deadly pain on someone is almost incomprehensible. I reel my arm back and throw it at the tree in front of me. It explodes on the trunk, dousing the ground with the shrapnel of hundreds of finely sliced strips of bark. I smile at how easy I find it to summon my energy and use it. Basking in my glory, I mentally create one after another, creating an impressive orb production line. Obsessed with my new skill, I fail to hear the footsteps sneaking up behind me.

“Bravo, Anna, bravo,” the velvet voice says between small claps of sarcastic applause.

The sound of Micah’s voice makes me turn so swiftly, the energy in my hand falls to the ground, instantly liquefying. Damn! I will another orb into my palm, and feel thankful when it appears without question. Micah’s eyes twitch at the sight of it, clearly surprised at my progress.

“My, my. I must say you have learned extremely well. Remind me to thank Roman for his unique contributions,” he smiles.

“How do you know Roman taught me?” I answer like a brat.

Micah laughs. “He’s the only warlock capable of drawing out such progress in so little time… and that orb trick you just did has his signature written all over it,” he says pointing to my palm.

Unexpectedly, Micah’s hand lights up and displays an imposing black orb. The thought of what it does scares me. I remember what Roman said - don’t trust anyone, so I prepare myself. I study Micah’s movements, and notice a twitch in his right eye. Relying on sheer intuition, I throw the ball so quickly, he doesn't have time to move. It hits his chest, causing him to sail backward. He doesn't hit the ground, but I manage to nail him pretty good. He scowls at me with rage, chucking his black ball at me. I instantly duck out of the way. It is powerful, and its energy emanates from a few feet above me. I will two orbs, one for each hand, and hurl them at him simultaneously. He flips out of their way, managing to throw one back at me. I am not fast enough and it hits me squarely in the shoulder. I fall hard, landing on something freezing cold. Looking around, I find I'm frozen inside a giant ice cube. I summon my energy, but nothing happens.

"Anna, I haven't had that much fun in years," he howls wickedly. "You put up an excellent fight," he says, walking towards me. He flicks a few blades of grass off his arm and they burn up before hitting the ground.

"Let me go," I yell.

"Soon enough," he replies, only inches from my face.

My power swirls inside of me like a tornado, petitioning me to focus. I close my eyes, envisioning the ice shattering around me. A faint sound of cracking cheers me. I squeeze my eyes tighter, imagining it falling off me in large chunks. The cracking grows louder, and in one rapid motion, the ice falls away from me in huge pieces, and lands at Micah's feet. I do a back-flip, and alight a few feet away from him. I pitch an energy orb in his direction without the slightest hesitation, and it hits him directly in the face. He crashes onto his back, and makes a loud “thud” as grunts escape his swollen mouth. I'm not sure what to do, but I know I can't kill him. I envision a jamming spell, to prevent him from using his magic. Slowly, he stands up, and seeing me, his face contorts into anger.

"More powerful than I thought, my love," he spits, with madness swimming in his eyes like sharks.

I swallow hard, nervous I might get my ass handed to me now.
Shouldn’t have poked the bear at the zoo, Anna
. He flings his arms to the side, to draw on his magic, but the orbs don’t appear. He tries again, but nothing happens. He looks up at me, and his eyes tell me he knows what I've done.

"Astonishing," he mutters. I stand my ground. Just because his magic is temporarily on hiatus doesn't mean he isn't still dangerous. "I have underestimated you," he continues. "I thought you might be a Grand Witch, but I didn't think any more existed. Now, I have my confirmation," he snickers.

Tingles run down my spine. Roman and Valen said he’d throw the Treaty right out the window to appease his own desires, and this could be his perfect opportunity to snatch me.

"Don't worry, love. I'm not going to steal you... yet. There's still some red tape we have to unwind, but rest assured, I’ll do my best to expedite the process, now that I know how very precious and rare you are," he grins.

I refuse to respond, but my spell wanes when I lose focus, and before I can stop him, he evaporates. I stand there, staring at the empty spot where he stood. The thought of being stuck with him is so disgusting. I refuse to allow it, no matter what. I need to get Janie back and kill him, regardless of any supernatural bureaucracy. Since I'm no longer in the mood to train, I head back inside the house. Everyone's still asleep so I quietly retreat to my bedroom. I run the shower, just to wash Micah's encounter off me. The hot water massages my muscles, making them relax, and the trickling of the water washes away all the icky thoughts of him, affording me a few minutes of peace. After my shower, I feel more like myself. I dress in loose sweat pants and a form-fitting t-shirt before heading downstairs to the kitchen. I am in the middle of measuring coffee when Valen pads in. His freshly rumpled hair looks perfect. I wonder what it feels like to wake up looking so gorgeous. I see he forgot his shirt, which almost makes me drop my spoon. My eyes can't help ogling his husky, muscular chest and well-developed arms. His sweatpants are low on his hips, exposing his airbrushed abs that all too hastily disappear under the waistband. I swallow hard, and turn back to the coffeepot, which I find far less interesting.