Illicit (6 page)

“You okay over there kiddo?”

I’d dropped the pot in the sink at the sensation. Turning to my dad I did a quick once over of the kitchen, but there was no one there, no one but my dad and I.

“Fine, fine dad.” I brushed my hand across my forehead. What is it about this place anyway? There weren’t any legends about the area that I knew of, but there was definitely something ‘other’ going on here.

“You sure kid, you look a little spooked, what’s going on, you didn’t cut yourself or anything did you?”

I turned back to the dishes to escape his searching gaze.

“No dad I’m good, you done?” I hope my voice doesn’t give me away.

At his yes I walked over and took his plate from in front of him. He was still trying to read my face so I schooled my features, even though I was a bundle of nerves inside.

“Thanks Jazz that was great, could we have something breaded and fried tomorrow though? In the few days you’ve been here I’ve been eating either rabbit food or something approaching sawdust; my stomach’s about to rebel.”

I gave him my best pouty face; I knew just how to work him. I wasn’t above playing the prodigal to the limit as long as I got my way in this.

“Don’t you love me dad?”

“What why, what kind of a question is that? Of course I love you you’re my daughter.” Good he looked perplexed and flustered.

“Then why don’t you want to eat healthy so you can be around for a long time?”

His face was comical and he looked close to tears. It was all I could do not to break out in laughter.

“Is it really that important to you Jazz?”

I did my best daddy’s little girl impersonation, complete with nodding head and munching of the lip.

He muttered something about manipulative females and learning too young, before he sighed long and hard.

“Fine Jazz, I’ll eat your healthy food, but you have to let me have cherry pie down at the diner at least three nights a week.”

“One and we’ve got a deal.”

“Come on Jazz, you can’t expect me to just go cold turkey. I’ve been eating that pie almost everyday since I was a kid.”

“One and I’ll make you my special peach raspberry pie.”

“That another one of your health nut recipes?”

“Dad!”

“Fine.”

***

We rounded out the night with dad stretched out in front of the tube, while I read one of my classics upstairs in my room.

Outside, night had fallen early, as was the norm here it seemed. The wind was loud against the windows, as the rain that had been threatening all day seemed to be coming in.

There was a sense of being cocooned up there in the little room in the old house, like being wrapped in a warm blanket, protected from the outside world.

I’d grown rather fanciful in the few days I’d been here. I think it was because I somehow reconciled this town with the places I’d read about in my old classics.

Or maybe because it bore remnants of my dreams! Whatever the case, I loved the feeling of finally being settled.

“Night dad.” I yelled down the stairs to him after cleaning up in the bathroom. I couldn’t wait to go to sleep so I could wake up and go to school again tomorrow.

And maybe tonight I would dream a little dream of him. Warmth enveloped me at the thought as I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over me.

Listening to the whistling wind and the soft rain against the eaves, I fell into sleep with the feel of a soft kiss against my brow.

I slept like a log and couldn’t remember my dreams, or if I’d even had one, though I felt more, well rested than I ever had before.

I spent an inordinate amount of time getting dressed this morning. I tried to convince myself that there was no special reason behind it, but who was I kidding?

I even contemplated face paint, which was a sure sign that I’d lost my mind. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Probably put my damn eye out with a mascara wand.

Dad eyed me up and down as I got breakfast ready and I held my breath hoping he didn’t say anything.

“You do something different with your eyes there Jazz?” Now he was squinting at me as I took my seat across from him.

“No, like what?”

“I don’t know you look…different this morning.” I have no idea what he’s talking about.

Maybe it was the fresh coat of blush pink lip-gloss I’d applied for the first time in my life.

Or maybe those extra strokes of the brush had added some life to my waterfall of sable colored hair.

He dropped the subject, for which I was eternally grateful, as he turned his attention to his oatmeal or horse food as he so eloquently referred to it when I put it down in front of him. “I haven’t eaten this swill since I was a boy.”

“Nag, nag, nag. Eat it, it’s good for your heart and cholesterol and all that good stuff.” He’s a petulant two-year old in a grown man’s body I swear.

He grilled me about school until it was time to leave. I think he was really worried about me fitting in and making new friends, as if my failure to do that would be on him.

I guess only time would put his mind at ease. It can’t be easy for him trying to live with his teenage daughter after years of being apart and being almost strangers to each other.

He seemed dead set on making up for lost time, which I couldn’t blame him for. We’d both missed out on a lot over the years.

I headed off to school with a tummy full of excitement and butterflies. Would I see him in my rear view, or will he be on the school grounds with the other kids?

Will he say anything to me today, or will he stay the strong silent type? The possibilities were too many to count.

All I know is that seeing him again in the flesh was about all I could think about.

Today was a little different in that that Michelle girl actually met me at my truck.

The rest of the scene was pretty much the same as the day before, with kids sectioned off according to their cliques, doing their thing.

Jane, as Michelle had informed me was the cheerleader’s name, was still shooting daggers at me, but this time she seemed to have reinforcements. There was another blonde looker who dismissed me with a look and a flick of her hair. Cold.

“So, Jasmine, I hear Mark invited you out to the bluffs for our little picnic this weekend.”

“Um yeah, but I cant go though I’m sorry.”

“What why?”

Was that a Havenhurst thing? That’s the same thing dad had said.

“Something came up.” Or someone anyway!

“Ooh, is that something one Thorn Azarov?” She grabbed my hand and looked at me expectantly.

“What, no, where did you ever get an idea like that?” My face was fire red by now I’m sure and her question only made me question myself even more.

She looked a little put out but didn’t say anything more about it, which was just as well, because I wouldn’t know what to tell her anyway.

“Well, you better watch out for Jane and Sara anyway.” She looked towards the two blonde girls who seemed to be clocking our every move, from the stairs leading into the school.

I was listening to Michelle, but my eyes were busy scanning the lot for the car that had followed me home the day before.

“Looking for anyone I know?” she had that sly grin on her face again and I wished I wasn’t being so obvious.

“What? No” I’m sure my face was on fire as she looked at me and laughed.

“You can’t lie for shit new girl, he’s not here by the way.”

“Who?” As if I didn’t know. From the time the words left her lips my heart confirmed them as truth.

“Mr. Delish; us girls hang around every morning with the hopes that he’ll notice us. He comes at the same time everyday, except today he was a no show.”

I felt empty and alone all of a sudden. Like that feeling you get when the sun disappears behind a cloud on a bright sunny day.

I didn’t feel that swell of anticipation anymore, in fact I felt like a balloon that someone had stuck a pin in and deflated all of the air.

Chapter 6

I went through the motions that day and the next when he failed to show once again. By day three I was pissed, why would he tell me I couldn’t go with Mark if he wasn’t interested?

It didn’t make any sense at all. No one gave me any explanation for his sudden disappearance, and I wasn’t about to draw any more attention to myself by asking.

“So Jazz, Michelle tells me you’re not coming with us this weekend, sure we can’t change your mind?” Jane appeared at my side out of nowhere.

I never know what to do in these situations, when someone obviously hates you on sight, but then for some unknown reason, well unknown to you anyway; they start up a conversation out of nowhere.

“Um.” I had to think about this, I mean, whatever feelings he might’ve had had been fleeting obviously, since he’d up and left without saying a word.

Besides, accepting the invitation might get my dad off my back, where he’s been the last few days.

It maybe had to do with the fact that I’d been moping around the house for the better part of a week, like I’d lost my best friend. It was worst, I felt like I’d lost a limb.

“You know what, why not, what do I need to bring?”

“Just yourself and lots of sunblock, there’s actually sun there and we wouldn’t want you to burn that lily white skin of yours.”

She said it with a smile, but I wasn’t sure there hadn’t been a touch of malice underneath her words.

Maybe malice was too harsh a word, but there’d definitely been something there.

I shrugged it off as we headed away in opposite directions from each other, to our respective classes.

As it turns out Mark was in this class a few seats back, and he came towards me as soon as I sat at my desk.

“So, new girl, heard you changed your mind about the picnic this weekend.” He was all smiles and boyish charm.

“Uh yeah, I kinda told Jane that I’d go.” A decision that I was fast coming to regret!

“Sweet, see you then; please tell me you have a two piece bikini.” His eyes actually lit up as he ogled my almost nonexistent boobs.

“Gross.”

I turned around and ignored him. Why couldn’t other guys be like him who shall remain nameless?

That was my new way of dealing with the strange phenomena that seemed to come attached with whenever I thought or said his name.

For all that he was a thoughtless pig, who had just ran off without a by your leave, he was still kind of hot in his approach, the jerk.

I got a nice little surprise when I found my arm grabbed by someone outside my last class before lunch period. It was the pixie and she looked ready to skin someone alive.

“Hey!” I barked indignantly, this family was not on my friends list at all.

I started to ask her what the hell she thought she was doing, but she stopped us a little ways down the hall and out of the way of the hungry horde that was headed to the cafeteria.

“Did you accept an invitation to go to the beach on Saturday?”

What the hell, did these people have a spyware network or something? I know the place is small but this is ridiculous, first Mark and now her. Wait a minute.

“What’s it to you, do I know you?”

“Cute, look, if you go to the beach you’re asking for trouble, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“What, what does that mean, is someone out to get me or something?”

“What, one of these clowns? They wouldn’t dare. They know my brother would have their guts for garters if they touched one hair on your precious little head.” She rolled her eyes like this was something I should know already.

“Look I don’t know what’s going on with you and...him, but I’m going to the beach. If people want to go around handing out orders then they should stick around to see they get carried out.” I was feeling very brave here suddenly, I think I like this new assertive side, yeah me.

She shook her head at me, shrugged, and walked away; what was with them and leaving me standing in the halls looking after them anyway?

I watched until she disappeared from sight; now I’m back to being wary and unsure. I mauled my fingernails as I made my way to the cafeteria, my mind full of her somewhat dire warning.

Why should it matter to her brother what I did or where I went anyway? It’s not like he was willing to spend time with me, he’d disappeared for crying out loud.

Saturday dawned like every other day in Havenhurst, dreary and wet. I wonder how far away this beach was that there was going to be sun?

Dad had left earlier to go fishing with his old pal Barney. I guess he’d been ready to squash his plans if I’d stayed home, so this worked out for the best after all.

I didn’t want my dad feeling obligated to put his life on hold for me.

If this was going to work, then we had to do things as naturally as possible, and his weekly fishing trips with Barney was a staple.

I’d decided to drive myself instead of catching a ride with Mark or Ian; both of who had offered. Besides, if I didn’t like the lay of the land it was always easier to leave if I had my own wheels.

Dad had packed me an arsenal before he’d headed out at first light. There was mace shoved in with the sunblock, a roll of coins, some cash and every number to every deputy in town, which amounted to about three. I rolled my eyes as I put the bag over my shoulder and headed out the door.

***

I guess the pixie’s dire warning of doom and gloom was wrong, because nothing happened. I’d almost been expecting strange winds and black cats at midnight, or at the very least a raven or crow at my bedroom window, but nothing.

There had been that strange wind outside my window, but that’s been happening since I came here so, no.

I did feel a little apprehensive about going against his wishes, but that didn’t last long.

Obviously he had no real interest or he would’ve been here. I shrugged it off, along with the touch of sadness at the thought that even my dream guy wasn’t interested, and headed out the door.

The beach wasn’t exactly crowded when I arrived, but there were some people there I hadn’t seen before. Everyone seemed to be having fun, either surfing or playing Frisbee.

Boys surrounded Sara and Jane, and Michelle was learning how to use the boogie board from some kid named Cain.

I found a spot and sat, not quite sure what to do with myself. I’d never learned to swim so there was no way I was going in that water, and the sun burns me to a crisp.

Why had I come here again? Oh yeah, to have fun. Something I’ve not had a lot of opportunities to do in my past.

Though their idea of sun was a laugh compared to some of the places I’ve been, it was still a nice change from the constant drizzle back in town.

Somehow though, this place couldn’t seem to get away from the threatening clouds that seemed to hover around night and day.

“Hey Jazz you having fun yet?”

“I am.” I shielded my eyes from the sunlight’s glare as Mark’s hulking body dropped down on the sand next to me.

“So, what made you change your mind about coming? You didn’t say.”

I shrugged my shoulders because there was really nothing much to say on the subject; nothing that anyone would understand anyway.

“Well, whatever it was I’m glad you came; I’m surprised that your friend didn’t tag along.” He looked around as if searching for someone. I knew exactly whom he meant, but feigned ignorance.

“Who’re you talking about? I just moved here, I don’t know anyone, not really.”

“You know, your new boyfriend.” He smirked and brushed my shoulder with his, but I could see it in his eyes that he was serious.

“What’s with Azarov anyway?” I played with the sand at my feet so that he couldn’t read my expression and see the hunger there, the need to know. Once again I felt that strange breeze against my nape and ear, but ignored it this time.

“No one knows, he and his family showed up here just a few months before you did. Everyone thinks he’s hot shit because they’re rich and he’s some type of boy genius or some shit from Europe somewhere.”

So I’d been right when I’d been trying to place his accent. Something niggled at the back of my mind, but like a leaf in the breeze it escaped me and as usual, I let it go.

We exchanged small talk about the area and school and what else the kids did for fun. I didn’t feel any danger from Mark, but there was something there beneath the surface, almost as if I was doing something forbidden.

By now the others were eating and drinking and horsing around. We’d been here for a few hours already, but it felt like time had flown by without me noticing.

If I were honest with myself I’d admit that I kept expecting him to show up here. With each hour that passed with no sign of him, the day lost more and more of its pleasure.

I’d become a junkie, but this junkie had only been teased with her drug, only to have it snatched away without warning.

Now I spend my days and nights fiending for him, just a look, a touch, even just to hear his voice one more time.

I fought back unnecessary tears and concentrated on Mark and what he was saying. That…man-boy, or whatever he was, is of no interest to me and I hope he stays out of my stupid dreams from now on too, the jerk.

“Say you want to come out to my place later, we’re having a bonfire?”

“Sure that sounds like fun I...”

A strong gust of wind kicked up the sand around us and blew hats and umbrellas across the beach. My heart went into overdrive and I looked around frantically, but of course he wasn’t here.

I felt like bursting into tears for some unknown reason, the joy of the day now gone completely. Not only because of the sudden dark cloud that covered the sky, but also because I knew that somehow, he was so near and yet so far.

I bit my lip in frustration, as I got to my feet ready to take flight. Maybe the pixie had been right after all; maybe I should’ve obeyed.

“Um maybe some other time Mark, thanks anyway.” I brushed the sand off as I tried to make my escape. My heart was heavy and I felt like screaming, but what would that solve?

“Sure Jazz, I guess I’ll see you around.” He headed back to his friends who’d been off by themselves doing something with a monster of a kite.

I gathered up my stuff and prepared to go, the others planned to be here for a while yet, but the joy had gone out of the day for me, so there was no use staying.

I said my goodbyes amidst a few mumbles of protest, but I made my escape without too much ado.

What was really going on with me anyway? And how was it, that I could feel his presence, when he wasn’t even there?

I’ve read of strange phenomena occurring in the world, in fact I’m obsessed with stories of unnatural happenings. But I’ve never been on the receiving end of anything even remotely supernatural.

And there I go getting fanciful again. I thought I’d put those days behind me, but I was wrong. Days of make believe and pretend.

Hours spent creating a world from my own unlimited imagination. When you were raised practically as a reclusive nomad, imagination was about all you had.