IllicitImpulse (4 page)

“Good.” Grace laced her fingers together and rested her
hands on her lap. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You’ll let me know
if I’m boring you, I hope.”

“I don’t think there’s any chance of that.”

No, he wasn’t bored. Not by a long shot. Listening to her
recreate her night with that buddy of hers—and this one night promised to
provide him with more detail than the other subjects had come up with in weeks—was
anything but boring. Grace was a fountain of information. He could hardly keep
up with her. He hoped she’d never stop.

But listening to her was torture.

How long could he keep from visualizing her in bed with this
guy? Worse, how long could he keep from thinking about taking Tal’s place?

And now the knowledge of what pleased her would invade his
thoughts, adding depth and detail to already potent distractions. He could see
her in his bed, her head thrown back in ecstasy, her black hair shimmering in the
faint light. The thought of her voice, husky with desire, had disrupted his
concentration all day. Playing with fire. The flames drew him like a moth and
he was starting not to care so much about being burned.

When she had finally come to the end of her narrative,
telling of those last two orgasms, which she rated a seven and an eight, John
shifted in place and asked her the most important of his questions.

“Was anything else different? Did you notice any other
changes?”

Her teasing smile slowly faded from her face and as he
watched, her mouth set itself in a thoughtful frown. He silently counted five
full seconds before she answered him.

“Just one thing. I didn’t stay. I left and went home.”

“You don’t usually do that?”

She shook her head. “No, I usually sleep over. Tal’s okay
with it and he’s good for a morning quickie. Plus I’m sleepy afterward. Ready
to bed down.”

Next to the notation,
Subject does not sleep over
,
John penciled in a star.

“So what happened this time? Why’d you go home?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t sleepy at all, which is kind of
weird.” She sighed. “I guess I just got tired of the Walk of Shame.”

John bit the inside of his lip. He needed to do something.
To hold her hand. To comfort her. But even if he knew what to say to her, he
couldn’t do it now, not when she was reporting back to him.

He wrote,
not sleepy at all
and
tired of the Walk
of Shame
, and then he gave her the only solace he could. “Tal never stays
with you?”

“Nobody ever goes home with me.” Her expression brightened
again, mischief in her smile. “That’s a rule. After all, I can’t sneak out of
my own place, can I?”

John turned back to his notepad, now dark with his
handwriting. “No, I guess you can’t, can you?” He let the tip of his pencil
hover over the page, not sure of how or whether he should record her
observation. Finally he straightened in his chair and put the pad back on the
table. “Okay, that’s everything, unless you have anything else to add.”

“Nope. That was pretty painless.”

He smiled. It probably had been painless for her. He was the
one who’d be up late haunted by thoughts of her in and out of Tal’s bed.

“Painless is what we’re going for,” he said and stopped the
recorder with a snap.

They walked out into the parking lot together, quiet now
after their conversation. Her car was next to his, beneath one of the street
lamps, and he followed her over to her door. Grace took her keys out of her
pocket and unlocked the car before leaning against its flank. The parking lot
was empty but for the buzz of the streetlight and the rustle of the breeze
against the dry husks of leaves.

Grace tugged her coat around herself and looked up at him,
and for a minute, he felt as if he were on a date with her, entering that
awkward pause when she would tell him she had a good time and he would decide
whether she would resist his kiss or receive it.

Or return it. Oh yes.

“Hey, before I forget,” she said, “Tal had one more
question.”

The sound of Tal’s name made John’s hands tighten in his
coat pockets. He took a deep breath and forced a smile. He needed Tal. There’d
be plenty of time to hate him once this experiment was over.

And let’s remember who brought Tal into this.

John forced himself to keep it casual. “Oh yeah? What does
Tal want to know?”

She dropped her gaze to the asphalt between them. “You’re
going to laugh.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“He wants to know why you’re not doing the testing.” Grace
looked up, beyond him into the dark. “You know. Why you’re not doing what he’s
doing.”

John leaned back against his car. The thought of the two of
them in bed together had been bad enough. Now he had this to contend with.

“Your friend Tal’s a character,” he said.

“Yeah, he’s something else.” She faced John again. “You
know, I keep telling him that you and I are friends, but he’s one of those who
doesn’t think men and women can be friends without having sex with each other.”

He took another deep, centering breath and decided that “Tal
is necessary” was going to be his new mantra.

“Well, you tell your friend Tal that I’m already a little
too involved in this set of experiments. Sleeping with you myself is just about
the only thing that would get me fired faster than what we’re doing now.”

She nodded. “See, I knew you’d have a reason that made
sense.”

“Yeah.” Against his better judgment, he opened his arms to
give Grace a hug. When she stepped into his embrace, the scent that was hers
alone drifted toward him and he gave in to the need to kiss her, touching his
lips to the top of her head.

A friendly kiss. Just one friendly kiss.

“Grace, I need you to understand something.”

She looked up at him, her chin resting on his chest just
above his heart.

“I would never do anything to put our friendship at risk.
Anything. Even if I was pretty sure nothing would happen. I mean, I’m pretty
sure this stuff works. But I’m not positive. That’s why we’re doing this.
Right?”

She nodded. “Right.” She pressed her face against his chest
again and gave him a quick squeeze before releasing him. “You’re right.” She
stepped away and smoothed her hair back into place behind her ear. “God, can
you imagine how awkward and weird we would be afterward?”

John chuckled. His imagination preferred to avoid the parts
that were awkward and weird, but the rational part of his mind was pretty
attached to the possibility. “Want to go to Bank on Wednesday?” he asked.

“Sounds good.”

He waved at her as she drove off, and long after her
taillights had disappeared from view, he stood there in the dark. That
afternoon he had thought of all the horrible things that could happen if anyone
figured out what he was doing. He had taken comfort from that. Better
preparation through anticipation.

He just hadn’t anticipated how difficult this would be in
reality, even with all his preparations. And now there was no turning back.

Power.

At last Grace could give a name to the feeling that had
surged through her when she’d swallowed that pill last week. Power added extra
length and purpose to her stride and sparked the slow burn that threatened to
consume her. Power gave rise to something primitive and wild inside her—the
need to mate. She chose Tal not just for his availability and for his
willingness, but because he was, on a purely biological level, perfectly suited
for her needs.

They’d fucked like animals. And she’d enjoyed it even more
than she thought she would, after she’d gotten used to the dizzying loss of
control that went with it.

Did she get used to it? Or had she just stopped worrying
about it when Tal and Impulse joined forces in her service?

Standing in her bathrobe before her closet, Grace tried to
concentrate on what to wear for her first Friday night with Tal. He’d long ago
discouraged her from putting a lot of effort into dressing up for their
encounters—his thoughts of her, he’d explained, did not usually involve
clothes—and she’d lapsed into the habit of wearing something comfortable on top
of her just-for-sex underwear. She could do that again tonight. She had a
feeling Impulse would make the evening memorable all by itself. But her
attention kept returning to a little black slip dress. She rarely wore the
short, lightweight garment this time of year, but her coat would keep her warm
until Tal and Impulse could take over.

After getting dressed, Grace popped a pill into her mouth
and swallowed it with a handful of water from her bathroom sink. She expected
the familiar chill to set in immediately; it had started working so quickly
last time. This time, she got all the way to her car and all the way to Tal’s
neighborhood with no sign that the Impulse had taken hold.

She navigated the tangle of one-way streets near her
destination, looking for somewhere to park. The city streets were clogged with
a confluence of late rush-hour traffic and people heading downtown to start
enjoying their weekends. She bit her lip. Of all the possible consequences of
meeting on a Friday night, why hadn’t she thought of parking? Still, even after
spending an eternity looking for a place to park and then walking from there to
Tal’s place, she hadn’t gotten her chill, the heat that followed, or any other
indication that the pill was working.

Her fingers were just a whisper away from Tal’s doorbell
when the metal door slid open to reveal the man himself. The sleeves of his
crisp white dress shirt were rolled up, almost to the elbow, and sharply
creased black trousers enticed her to admire the length of his legs. He looked
like a glossy magazine ad come to life. When he stepped back to let her in,
Grace’s sex grew heavy and warm with anticipation and hunger, just as it
usually did when she was near him.

The rush she craved still eluded her, and worry weighed down
her rising desire. What if it wasn’t working? John had reminded her of that
possibility in the parking lot after their interview a week ago. What if she
only got one experience like the last one and then nothing more?

Well, that would account for all those people quitting.

Tal closed and locked the door behind him and then walked
slowly toward her, his ocean-blue gaze locked to hers.

“You’re all dressed up,” Grace said. She unbuttoned her
coat, slid it from her shoulders and draped it over a bar situated over a
weight bench next to her.

Tal boldly looked her over, appraising her from head to toe.
“One of my clients had a gallery show tonight.” His golden brows drew together.
“You okay?”

Grace nodded. Damn. After just one try, Impulse had spoiled
her. Here she was on a Friday night, with a man who made her toes curl just by
looking at her. So what if the stuff wasn’t working? She could still have a
damn good time.

As if to prove her point, Tal took her hand and gently
pulled her closer. He pressed two fingers to the sweet spot just behind her
chin and tilted her head back until she faced him. Then he pushed his lower lip
out in a little boy’s pout. “You sure?”

Grace laughed. “You’re so damn silly.”

Still pouting, he started to trace tiny circles on the
underside of her chin. “Are you mad because I’m so silly?”

She tried to return his petulant expression but couldn’t
keep a straight face long enough to do it. “I’m not mad.” She longed to run her
own fingers over the hollow of his throat, the sensitive flesh visible through
the open collar of his shirt. Things were looking up already.

“That’s good.” His voice made her want to press her lips to
his skin and see what other enticing sounds he’d make. “I would hate for Gracie
to be mad at me.”

Grace gave Tal a playful shove and he released her,
laughing. “I’ll
get
mad if you call me Gracie again,” she said. Bereft
of his touch, her skin instantly went up in goose bumps.

Still chuckling, Tal went back toward the front door to turn
off the lights. “So why are you all dressed up?”

Grace rubbed her palms over her arms. Maybe this dress
hadn’t been such a good idea. She had another one with sleeves that was just as
nice. “No reason.”

Wait. It’s cold. I’m suddenly cold.
She grinned in
anticipation.
Game on.

Tal made his way back to her like a tiger, moving through
the tangle of stark shadows cast by the streetlights. “Did you take one of your
pills?”

The icy tendrils that had begun to take hold of her
retreated just as quickly at the sound of Tal’s voice. Grace met him halfway
across the room, warmth slowly unfolding inside her with every step until her
fingertips stroked the front of his shirt. “I took one right before I came
over,” she said.

“Do you think that’s fair?” The sound of his voice made her
restless again as his arms closed around her. She craned her neck just a bit,
nuzzling the warm skin under his chin. “You have kind of a head start on me.”

Grace’s fingers walked over the fabric of his shirt, nimbly
undoing the buttons. Beneath her ministrations, his broad chest expanded on a
deep breath, and her nipples shrank to taut, hard points within the constraints
of her bra. She craved the hard heat of his body, the taste of him. She ground
her hips against him, savoring the surge of desire that swelled within her as
she pressed her body to the hardening ridge of flesh in his pants. “I think
you’re catching up.”

She teased the corner of his mouth with the tip of her
tongue and he covered her lips with his own. She opened eagerly for his kiss,
whimpering with delight as he claimed her. He tasted of fine wine, the sort of
thing he’d drink while the ladies of Richmond’s art scene eyed him, wanting
what Grace enjoyed now. When he released her, she let her hands roam down his
chest, exploring the expanse of muscle, the flat stomach beneath his thin
cotton undershirt.

He stroked her bare arms again, his rough fingertips leaving
a trail of fire on her skin. “What if I was hoping to get to the bed this
time?”

The need to devour him rose up inside her, making her
shiver, but she relished each tantalizing taste of him, clean and wild. Her
struggle to control her amplified urges only aroused her further. “There’s
plenty of time for the bed,” she purred.

Her tongue caressed the contours of his abs through the soft
fabric as she slowly knelt before him, barely noticing the hard floor beneath
her. While she unfastened his belt, Tal’s fingers played in her hair, and the
heat within her intensified. Her hands deftly unzipped and lowered his pants
until they pooled in front of her. Then she reached into his boxer shorts—plain
white, suitable for the dressy clothes he wore—and wrapped her fingers around
his erection.

She heard Tal’s long inhalation, and when his body undulated
slowly toward her, her own aching core contracted in response. Grace squeezed
his thick cock and tipped her head back to look at him. He towered over her,
the faintest grin lifting the corners of his mouth. His hand still rested on
her head, his fingers wound in her hair, but her body pulsed with the combined
forces of need and sheer power. She might be on her knees before him, but he
belonged to her, now more than ever. He was hers to tease, hers to pleasure if
she wished, hers to deny if she chose.

Grace made sure he was watching when she stroked the
sensitive curve at the edge of his cock head. He released another deep breath
on a soft groan and her pussy tightened greedily, wanting to be filled with the
hefty shaft in her hand. Her growing need warred with her self-control as she
kissed the very tip of his cock, caressing it with her lips, sliding her tongue
over the first slick, salty drops of pre-come.

At last, her hunger overwhelmed her and she dipped her head,
opening wide to take as much of him as she could. She let her tongue slide down
the ridge on the underside of his hard-on and closed her lips around it as she
rose. As she bobbed up and down over his erection, his fingers took hold of her
hair. The primitive gesture, his growl of pleasure, his crude suggestions never
failed to excite her. She quickened her pace, plunging deeper and sucking
harder.

She worked her tongue over his hot, rigid flesh, licking and
sucking with delighted abandon, making him helpless, the victim of his own
sensations. His hips moved in time with her, fucking her willing mouth. All at
once, he tightened his grip on her hair and groaned when he slowly withdrew
from her eager lips. Grace looked up at him and found the expression on his
face both satisfied and hungry.

“Oh no.” The rumble of his voice had her licking her lips.
“This isn’t what I had in mind at all.”

Tal released Grace’s hair and extended his hand to her. She
laced her fingers in his and rose, her knees aching just a bit from the floor.
Her hand caught in his, Tal wound his arms around her, trapping Grace’s arm
behind her. She moved closer to him, close enough again that she could run her
tongue across the seam of his lips. Renewed need blazed within her. She kissed
him, pressing her body to his, teasing the sensitive skin of his lips with her
tongue, and he opened his mouth to her. Boldly, she plunged into his mouth,
claiming him until he pulled away.

“I think these pills make you just a little wild, don’t
they?” His breath tickled her skin, the sensation making her sex heavy and
slick.

Damn, she had to have him. Now. “Do you mind?”

He rubbed his face against hers, and the mingled scents of
aftershave and clean male arousal tempted her as he whispered into her ear, “I
don’t mind at all. Come over here and let me show you.”

Tal bent awkwardly and pulled his pants back up, holding
them at his waist with one hand as he led Grace through the maze of weights and
bars and benches into his office. His desk lay beneath one of the warehouse’s
large windows, facing the alley he shared with the neighboring auto body shop.
He pulled her in front of him, as if they were dancing, until she was between
him and the desk, and she kissed him again, closing her eyes to indulge in the
mix of tastes and sensations he offered. She heard the jingle of his keys and
the fabric of his pants sliding down to the floor again just before his hands
settled on her hips.

She opened her eyes when he slowly turned her around and
away from him. Once she faced the window, she let her head roll back toward him
and he covered her breasts with his hands, expertly working them through the
stiff cups of her bra. Grace reached up behind her, tugging at Tal’s hair. She
sighed his name as she arched her back, need building steadily within her.

Tal kissed the bare skin at her shoulder. “Stay here,” he
whispered. Grace glanced over her shoulder as he moved away from her and she
couldn’t help chuckling as he struggled out of his pants, cursing under his
breath. Tal shot her a dark look and went to the doorway. She slowly turned
around and started to slide the straps of her dress from her shoulders. She
didn’t know why he’d want to shut the door, but at least she could be ready for
him when he came back.

Instead, Tal turned on the lights.

Grace squinted for a moment until her eyes adjusted. “What’s
wrong? You lose something?”

Tal shook his head and pulled off his shirt, advancing
toward her in his t-shirt and boxers. “Just want to see what I’m doing.” He
backed Grace up to the desk, pinning her between its edge and his body,
trapping her there with his hands. She took a shallow breath and met his gaze.

“See anything you like?”

“I think I’m about to.” Tal slid his big hand up her thigh,
beneath her dress, and Grace eased her legs farther apart, making room for him.
Nothing separated the warm, wet folds of her flesh from his touch. He made a
quiet sound of approval as he stroked her, parting her swollen lips, delving
into creamy heat, caressing the ripe peak of her clit. Grace rocked her hips
toward him and moaned as his fingers slid over her, into her.

She tugged restlessly at his t-shirt. “Show me yours.”

He swept his fingertips over her pussy one last time before
withdrawing and putting his hands on her hips, turning her toward the window
again. With the office lights on, Grace could see their reflection in the glass
and she watched eagerly as Tal pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the
muscular body she couldn’t get enough of. The sight of him ignited her anew,
setting off that incredible chain reaction she’d wanted as soon as she’d swallowed
the pill. The tension building between her legs made her sway helplessly toward
him. She gripped the edge of the desk as Tal slid his boxers down over long,
powerful legs and rummaged through the pockets of his pants for a condom, which
he slapped down onto the desk before nudging her legs apart with his own.

He finished pushing the straps of her dress down off her
shoulders, tugging the garment down over her bra, and then pulled her back
toward him. His thick fingers struggled to get beneath her bra cups, and his
harsh breath on her bare shoulder sent lightning flashes of heat over her skin,
from her nape to her taut, aching nipples to the place where her core pulsed
with need. She pushed herself up into his hands. She needed more, his hands on
her, between her legs, squeezing her breasts, tugging at her hair. She wanted
more, wanted everything, wanted it now, and the force of it slammed into her
with every searing breath, every galloping beat of her heart.