Illywhacker (41 page)

“You tinker,” she said.

I had brought the car to the crossing. I was, already, disorientated. I could not understand why the creek was the way it was. It seemed impossible and I was as confused as a fellow suddenly, without warning, rolled out of a boat trying to understand his new environment.

“Madam?” I said, but I was staring at that monstrous river whose waters were puce and bruised from so much violence.

“You pesky little tinker,” she said. “A tinker’s trick,” she roared. “But I,” her eyes were hard, hostile, her mouth suddenly thin and severe, “shall not buy.”

I knew she was a crack lick-ah, but it did not occur to me that she was crazy, not even when she blamed me for a flood. It is obvious enough now, now I alert you to the condition, but had you sat there with your head awash with astonishment and worry as to how you would get home to your children, knowing one had a sore throat and temperature and that the other would make himself ill with bawling, not knowing how it was—how, anyway—that a perfectly sedate creek could convert itself like this without benefit of a single
cloud, and had you sat here beside me and shared my confusion, then the accusation of being a tinker, if you bothered to take it in, would be merely one more cannon shot in the chaos of battle and you would not think it madder or less reasonable than the river itself.

So, no, I did not doubt her sanity. In fact the opposite is true: she looked at me as if I were some ant, some low form of life, and she looked at me so confidently that, in spite of the fact that her trousers were two sizes too big for her, I believed her. She was musty to smell but her eyes were eyes accustomed to deciding what way the world shall be run. At that moment I abandoned any hope of the sale.

That was my disappointment, a disappointment so great I could have cried. I wanted only to be with my family. I thought of my boy who would soon be bellowing in the foreign dark. I considered fording the river on foot, but even as the thought entered my head I saw a log, as big as a battering ram, surfing down the river as if powered by its own angry engine.

I thought the business finished. But it was, alas, merely starting, for the excitement of the river seemed to have served the function of priming the engine of Miss Adamson’s madness and it began (roughly, with coughs, curses, and small explosions) to ignite, and then to turn, and soon the whole mechanism was huffing and chuffing, ready to run all through the night up and down, down and up, along one track whose point of departure and point of arrival were identical: chooks.

I did not notice at the beginning. I did not notice that she was speaking about her chooks in a peculiar way. She was worried about them. That was only natural. She said Maisie had no idea how to look after them. But she was not cross with Maisie, but with me, for luring her across the river.

She pulled a notebook from her pocket and showed me her breeding plan, all little tiny boxes and arrows at angles, but still I did not think her mad, merely unfriendly. She accused me of not understanding the diagrams. She was right. She did not do this in any hysterical way, but as proof, if you like, of my inferiority, that I was a man so stupid I could not understand a chook. My ignorance was a thing I was, I have admitted it before, most sensitive about. I collapsed easily before her attack.

She may have stopped talking, but I don’t remember it.

At dusk a woman with a kerosene lamp came down to the crossing and waved it about. Miss Adamson got out of the car
and screamed instructions at the raging river. It was quite obvious Maisie could not hear her, but Miss Adamson shouted at the light until, at last, it went away.

It was night before I really started to understand that I was trapped with a mad woman. By then she was stretched out on the back seat, her muddy boots on the upholstery, smoking.

“We have no right,” she said, lighting a cigarette (I did not ask her where she was putting the ash and butts). “We have no right to make them so stupid. God did not make them stupid. Men did. All we do here is repair the damage.”

“What damage?” I asked, but I was thinking of the damage she was doing to Bert’s upholstery.

Then she sat up. The moon was just rising. I could see her very clearly. “Does nothing stay in your head, tinker?”

She then set off up and down her one track. Half the night she huffed and puffed while I drifted in and out of nightmares.

Her opinion, as I gathered it, was that the chook should be discontented. She found their content and their stupidity to be unnatural. She gave me chooks, chapter and verse, history, breeding, the Asian jungle fowl, the works. She had some jungle fowl which, she said—and I am sure she meant nothing vulgar—would put some spunk into her leghorns. They were on a verge of flight, she said, of freedom, anguish, life, love. She shook me awake to make sure I understood.

I had not eaten for three days. I told her this, but it did not affect her. She would not permit me to escape my hunger with sleep.

At dawn we saw a slight middle-aged woman in a black Edwardian dress. She was standing on the other side of the much reduced river. She was compressed by severe stays. She wore high-laced boots and a netted little black hat. She was carrying a bucket and hollering and pointing, but I could not make out what she was on about.

The object of her excitement was obscured by the tall avenue of blackwoods that lined the river, and then, in the grey imperfect light I witnessed what was, I suppose, in the history of noxious weeds and feral beasts, an important moment.

I thought at first they were sulphur-crested cockatoos.

But they were not. They were white leghorns, the most stupid of chooks, rising, white and heavy into the soupy summer air.

Miss Adamson was standing beside me. “There,” she said to me, her eyes no longer cold and hard, but wet and shining and
full of hurt like a wronged child. “There, tinker,” she said. “You see.”

There they were all right: ignorance, stupidity, malice, flying free and unfettered. They circled, their overdeveloped wings working at too fast a rate for birds so big. They set off south, the least hesitant one leading, down between the river blackwoods.

These were the progenitors of the wild chooks that caused so much trouble in the Wimmera wheatfields and of the leghorns who were soon to invade Leah Goldstein’s story.

On her first day back in Sydney Leah went with Izzie to Bondi. The world shone with the light of picnics and Leah was delighted with everything she saw. The ordinariness of those little Bondi streets did not dismay her. She loved their mess, their crass. She liked the paspalum growing in the grass strips, the white clover with its rusty heart, the nettles poking out of chain-mail fences. A man in a cotton singlet was asleep in a kitchen chair on the footpath and around the corner came a nanny-goat, its chain rattling behind it, pursued by a woman in Sunday curlers and her husband’s dressing gown.

“You mongrel,” said the woman to the clever goat. “Lovely day,” she said to Leah and did not even seem to see that Izzie, the source of Leah’s happiness, was busy being a chook, not just any chook, but a chook belonging to Lenny and Rosa’s new tenants.

Last night, on the platform at Central, he had tried to kiss her and she had found herself, involuntarily, shrinking from him. She had felt a flinch of disappointment exactly equal to the gap between her ivory-smooth idea of Izzie and Izzie himself, this little scarecrow with rag-doll sleeves, bad skin and hair (she wrinkled her nose) that badly needed washing.

But she had forgotten: Izzie was funny. And now, as he thrust out his bantam’s chest and drew his hands into his flapping wings, she laughed in delight. God, what a chook he was. He clucked and chortled and scratched amongst the clover. He had feathers and a comb. He clicked along the paving stones on his pointed shoes.

“Teddy’s chooks,” he whispered, “do not stand on pavement cracks.”

“Teddy’s chooks,” he leaped on to a low brick wall, “riding on the tram to Bondi.”

The chook was so well behaved on the tram seat. It tucked its head in and snoozed absently. And this (it was now history) was how the tenants’ chooks had travelled to Bondi after their eviction from Newtown, their right to free travel defended by three militant members of the Tramways Union, one of whom—the famous Arthur McKay—insisted on paying full fare for the rooster.

“I cannot wait,” Leah said—and felt how pleased Izzie was when she took his arm—“to meet your famous chooks.”

She could not have avoided them. The new tenants’ chooks had taken possession like a conquering army. The front fence—never a pretty sight—was now ugly with chicken wire. The chooks scratched and pecked at the remains of the front lawn. Their droppings marked the concrete path around the side of the house and—in the ravaged back garden, between house and caravan—she walked into a scene of execution: a headless Rhode Island Red spurted its last spasms of bright red blood beneath the picnic sky and then fell, drunkenly, and lay twitching in the dust.

A man in a woollen round-necked singlet and serge trousers stood watching the bird with an air of puzzled curiosity. He had a big boozer’s nose, tender with fragile capillaries, and—as he saw Izzie and tucked his lower lip beneath his upper—a manner that was at once self-effacing and sly. He pushed the dead bird with the head of his axe.

Izzie introduced Leah. Teddy called her “missus”. He squatted and poked at the small fire he had lit beneath Lenny’s copper cauldron. The bottom of the cauldron was streaked with black and it was full of dark steaming water.

“Hang on,” Teddy said. “Got a prezzie for you.” He rose and disappeared into the house and they could hear a woman’s voice shouting at him in anger.

“Nice bloke,” Izzie said.

“Where are Sid and Rosa?”

Izzie nodded his head towards the caravan and, seeing Leah’s confusion, explained: “Teddy’s got a wife and four kids.”

“Oh,” said Leah, looking at the dead chook and wondering how it was possible to be evicted in Jack Lang’s state.

“Here ya are,” Teddy said. He had returned with a chipped
bowl full of hen’s eggs. “Nice fresh cackleberries for your mum and dad.”

As they walked the few steps to the caravan, Teddy dunked the headless chook into the cauldron and the rank smell of its steaming feathers filled Leah’s nostrils.

One expected discord amongst the Kaletskys, but nothing had prepared Leah for the dull air of misery she found inside that caravan on whose floor the sand of lost holidays, sand that had once stuck between Izzie’s toes or clung to Rosa’s brown calves, still lingered, cold, hard-edged, abrasive.

Rosa looked ill. Her face was sallow. Those lovely lines around her eyes and mouth had deepened and set into unhappy patterns, and although she embraced Leah and made a fuss of her, her eyes stayed as dull as the windows of that gloomy space. They crammed in together around a tiny table, oppressed by the weight of uncomfortably placed cupboards.

Leah had returned to Sydney vowing to work hard at her studies, to give up her picnics and her dancing, but she had not been in the caravan five minutes before she found herself resolving to get Rosa out on a picnic.

“So,” she said, bright as a nurse, “you have tenants, Rosa.”

“I hate them,” Rosa hissed. “I want my house back.”

Lenny sighed and screwed his eyes shut. “If you want them to go,” he said, “all you have to do is tell them.” He lit a cigarette, made a face, then put it out.

“Why should I tell them?
He,”
Rosa pointed a finger at her son who stared, ostentatiously, at the metal ceiling,
“he
is the one who asked them here.”

“You have a short memory, Rosa,” Izzie said. “Who offered them the house?”

“How could they live in the caravan? It is hard enough for two people.”

Lenny was trying to catch Leah’s eye. He was making secret fun of his wife. Leah was embarrassed. She took Rosa’s hand and stroked it but Rosa did not seem connected to her hand. “I am a prisoner in this nasty box,” she said, but to no one in particular. “I cannot go into my garden, I have to ask them if I
might please use the shower. The shower is filthy. The walls in the kitchen are covered with grease….”

“Whose grease?” said Lenny.

“It smells. I hate it.”

“Rosa,” Lenny said, “you are being selfish,” but he put out his hand to her, to touch her shoulder. Rosa shrugged his hand off.

“Of course I am selfish,” she yelled, suddenly very angry. “I have always been selfish.”

“You
gave them the house,” Izzie said and Leah, who had begun to feel physically ill, found a strong shiver of dislike pass through her.

“What else could I do? You make it impossible for me to do anything else with your stupid charity. You are a wishy—washy. You know you are.”

Izzie’s face tightened and his pretty mouth became a slit. “Who owned stocks and shares? Some Marxist!”

“I did,” Rosa shouted. Leah wanted to block her ears, to run away and hide from this nightmare. “I did.”

“You are making Leah embarrassed,” Lenny said, but Rosa was staring at her son and something nasty was happening between them.

“Joseph would never have done this to me,” she said. “A real communist would do nothing so sentimental.”

Izzie stood up, his face quite pallid. “Shut up,” he screamed. He looked ugly with hate. “Shut your damn mouth.”

Lenny began to rise. Leah put her hands across her ears. The caravan rocked and swayed as Izzie ran from it. They heard his feet on the path and the squeak of the gate.

“Go and find him, Leah,” Rosa said wearily. “Go and find him. Tell him you love him.”

When she had gone, husband and wife went back to the matter that they had been discussing for two days. They circled round and around it, talking, talking, but in the centre of their talk there was nothing, a hole—the scrap-metal business was bankrupt.

Amongst some fleshy plants with leaves like ear-lobes, she found him, high on the cliffs of Tamarama where the wet Cellophane wrappers of Hoadley’s confectionery assumed the
same wet snotty look as the used contraceptive—that repellent thing—she had found there while walking as a dancer, her head high, her arms swinging, as fluid as a seagull, on a day when Rosa had been happy with the world and that other fleshy plant, the one called pig-face, had lain across a corner of the cliffs like vivid pink shantung flung across a draper’s counter.