Imaginary Grace (42 page)

I hadn’t seen Beth since our last day at school, and we had a lot of catching up to do. She said that Thomas had arranged for a double date with James, a guy he went to school with in North Carolina. According to Beth, James lived somewhere near Morristown, New Jersey, which wasn’t terribly far from where I lived. He was stopping at Thomas’s on his way home from an internship he had had in D.C.

Beth didn’t live in Philadelphia proper, but in a suburb just outside the city limits. And, as I saw when I got to her neighborhood, quite a swanky one at that. When I pulled into the large circular driveway of her house, she came barreling out to greet me. We hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in years, then she took me inside, introduced me to her parents and her younger brother, and took me upstairs to unpack.

“Your family seems nice,” I said.

“Yeah, I can’t complain,” she said as she led me down the hall to the guest room. After she showed me where everything was and my stuff was all put away, we headed out back to the pool, where we spent the rest of the afternoon, giggling and gossiping and generally catching up.

Finally I had to ask. “So, tell me about this James. Is he cute?”

“Don’t know,” she answered. “Never met him.”

“You’ve never met him? Oh great, he’s probably like a big dork or something.”

She waved me away. “Thomas wouldn’t do that to you. You know how much he likes you.”

“Well, okay, but let’s have a signal or something. Like how about if I touch my eyebrow, that means I want to cut it short. How’s that sound?”

“Fine,” she said, laughing, “but I don’t think it’ll come to that.”

“Where’re we going, anyway?”

“Oh, they’re taking us into the city to a fancy restaurant right on the water. I hope you brought a knock-his-socks-off outfit with you.”

“Maybe…” I said mysteriously.

When Saturday night rolled around, we were both looking forward to our date. I looked through my suitcase and decided on a salmon-colored sundress that I had picked up at the mall the week before. It was short, but fell a little longer in the back, and it showed off the savage tan that I’d been working on since the beginning of summer. The dress had wide shoulder straps and was belted with a two-inch weaved wraparound belt that matched my strappy sandals perfectly. I wore my hair pulled back away from my face, but left it hanging loose down my back.

After another day at the pool, Beth and I went to our rooms to get ready. I was about to go downstairs when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I had to admit, I thought as I turned from side to side to admire the dress, I’d sure come a long way since last year at this time. Thomas and James were supposed to pick us up by six o’clock, and by five-thirty Beth and I were ready and waiting downstairs with a glass of wine in our hands. Beth whistled when she saw me, making me laugh.

At six o’clock on the dot the doorbell rang, and in walked Thomas with a guy who looked like he had just stepped off the cover of GQ. It took some effort to keep from gaping at him in awe. Clearly this was not going to be the typical blind date.

Great, I thought, now I’m going to be nervous all night, probably come off like a dork. Fortunately, James was as easy to talk to as he was to look at. He was on the taller side with short, sandy-colored hair that he had neatly combed to the side. His clean-shaven face had chiseled, angular features that were complemented by a healthy bronze glow, like he’d just arrived home from an afternoon of yachting. His deep-set brown eyes were framed by thick, dark lashes that could have been the envy of women everywhere. He had strong-looking, broad shoulders and a trim waist, and if I had to guess, I’d say he was an avid soccer player. He was wearing a short-sleeved, maroon-colored polo shirt that showed off his lean muscular arms, along with a pair of khakis and a simple pair of tan boat shoes. If someone had asked me to describe him, I would have said, “classically handsome”.

Tom drove and Beth sat up front with him, leaving me and James to the back seat. On the way to the restaurant, I learned that James would be a senior at North Carolina in September. He planned to continue on to law school afterwards and eventually join the family firm in Manhattan. On paper this guy was perfect…too perfect, in fact, and I figured that eventually the other shoe would drop and I’d find out that, oh…I don’t know, he was a part-time drug dealer or maybe that
he
used to be a
she
– okay, it was a stretch, but something had to be wrong with him, right?

At dinner, the conversation flowed. Both he and Thomas entertained us with various stories of typical college-life antics, most of which Beth and I had witnessed at our own school but still found funny. Then came the traditional trip to the ladies’ room, where we reapplied lipstick and Beth grilled me on what I thought of James.

I was honest, telling her I thought he was pretty much perfect. Then, since she had this annoying habit of redoing all her makeup every time she entered a bathroom, I slipped outside to check my phone. Sure enough, the light on the phone was flashing with a message—probably a text from my mom, checking to see that I was all right.

It was a text, but it wasn’t from my mom. It was from Tanner, whom I hadn’t heard from since the day I left school. It had been sent about thirty minutes before and said just one word – ‘
Hey.
’

It made me smile and without thinking I texted back a simple – ‘
Hey
’, then put my phone back in my purse. A minute later, Beth finally came out of the bathroom and we headed back to the table, where the guys were settling the bill. We decided to take a walk along the river, being that it was a perfect night for it, and while we were walking James nonchalantly slipped his hand in mine and said, “Grace, I had a really nice time tonight. Do you think I could get your number and maybe we could do this again?”

I thought about it for just a second and then I decided that, really, what was there to think about? This guy was golden. “Sure, I’d like that.”

The guys drove us home and, while Thomas and Beth were making plans for the rest of the week, James walked me to the door and gave me a simple kiss goodnight. “Goodnight, Grace,” he said, “See you soon”; then he walked back down the driveway. I grinned as I saw Beth scamper past him, barefoot, with her blue sundress blowing in the light breeze and her sandals dangling by the straps from her fingers.

Once inside the dark house, we both dashed up the stairs and into Beth’s room where we dissected all the minutia of the night, both coming to the same conclusion: James was definitely a keeper. I don’t know why, but I didn’t mention the text from Tanner.

The next day, Beth and I spent the whole day in the city, visiting various shops, taking in some of the usual tourist sights, and having lunch at a trendy downtown bistro. Our whirlwind weekend together was just about over, and we probably wouldn’t see each other again until we moved back into the dorm in late August.

The next morning, after another typical teary-eyed, girly goodbye, I pulled out of the large circular driveway and headed back home. The drive was uneventful, since there was no traffic on the turnpike at that time of day, and I mentally reviewed each detail of my visit with Beth. Somehow, though, my thoughts kept returning to the text from Tanner.

When I got home, Ryder wanted to hear all about my date with James. “Great,” I told her, “he was really…nice.” She looked at me expectantly, waiting for more information, so I added, “…and cute. He was really cute.”

She surprised me with her next comment. “But was he, like, Tanner-cute?”

“What kind of question is that?” I asked, flustered. “He’s cute, and Tanner’s cute.” And then I added sarcastically, “What can I say, I’m a cute magnet?”

She laughed at my silly statement, but I’ll admit that I didn’t like her bringing up Tanner
or
his cuteness. It started me wondering about him all over again-- how he was doing on his tour and if it was everything he’d hoped it would be.

I wondered what it was going to be like to see him when school started again. Would it be weird? Would we have any classes together? Did he have a girlfriend? Why was I thinking about him anyway? I should be thinking about James and what a good time we had the other night.

He’d said he would call soon, but I was still surprised when I checked my phone after work on Tuesday and found I had a voice mail from him. When I called him back he wasted no time in inviting me out the following weekend, an invitation I quickly accepted.

He suggested spending the day in New York City, which sounded great to me, so I gave him directions to my house and suggested we take the train in so we wouldn’t have to worry about parking. He agreed and said he’d see me Saturday at noon.

As I got off the phone with him I immediately informed Beth. She was thrilled for me and made me promise to update her with all the details when I got back. The rest of the week crept by at a snail’s pace, considering my anticipation for Saturday and my dread of seeing Ty, who was difficult to avoid each day at camp.

He assumed since our date that we were now an ‘item’ and was constantly trying to get me alone, but thank God that was difficult since the kids kept us on our toes all day.

Saturday finally arrived and, much to my parents’ dismay, they wouldn’t be around to meet James. I hadn’t told them much, just that we had gone out when I was down visiting Beth. Ryder was the only one who met him, and I was sure to get an earful when I returned.

We headed to the train station and were in the city in no time. James really knew his way around, and we had a great time browsing through the SoHo art galleries and poking around at the obscure wares of street vendors in the Village.

Then we headed uptown for lunch at a little outdoor café and got chocolate hazelnut gelato from a stand just outside Central Park. We found an available bench in the park and took a seat, leisurely people-watching as we ate. I was fishing through my purse for a napkin when I noticed that a text had come through on my phone.

I quickly checked it, thinking that it was probably Ryder being her usual nosey self, but that wasn’t the case. It was another short text from Tanner saying simply – ‘
hey again
.’

I smiled when I saw it and quickly texted back – ‘
hey again urself
,’ before James even noticed. That evening on the train ride home, James held my hand. I wondered if he was going to try anything when he dropped me off. The moment of truth arrived when we pulled into my driveway.

I asked him if he wanted to come in, but he declined, saying that it was getting late and he should be getting back. And then I knew it was coming…he reached over and gave me a long lingering kiss and it was…nice.
Nice?

“I had a great time tonight, Grace,” he said.

“Yeah, me too.”

“Maybe we can do it again,” he suggested.

“Sure, I’d love to.”

“Okay, I’ll give you a call,” he said, and then we said goodnight and I got out of the car. Once inside, I was able to slip upstairs and into my room without Ryder seeing me. I wasn’t in the mood for playing twenty questions with her, but no sooner had I taken my shoes off than I got a text from Beth, demanding details. How the hell did she even know I was home? The girl was like a bloodhound.

I called her back with all the details, including the lingering kiss goodnight. When she asked me how it was, I told her that it was nice.
Nice? There’s that word again that’s not often used when describing a kiss from a hot guy.

She thankfully didn’t think to question my choice of words and, satisfied that things had gone well, she said goodnight.

As I lay in bed, I thought again about the kiss. Nice wasn’t a
bad
description, was it? But then I thought about the first time I kissed Tanner, and ‘nice’ was definitely not the first word that came to mind. Passion. Fireworks. Electricity. Mind-blowing. Magic. Hot. Sexy – and the list could go on and on. Maybe I hadn’t known James long enough. With Tanner there had been a slow build up to that first kiss, months, in fact, so there was a lot of anticipation. Yeah, that must be it; I hadn’t known James long enough to anticipate it.

Relieved that I had solved the mystery, I was now more determined than ever to experience that passion once again. I saw James twice the following week, and both times there was kissing involved, and both times it was really…nice. I had a bit of a devilish thought, though, after the last time I saw him. I was thinking that maybe we should, you know…kick it up a notch. No way, it was too soon. That would be crazy – wouldn’t it? But if we
did,
it’d definitely raise it up a few bars on the passion scale. I mean, I was sure it would be great…right? It would have to be…wouldn’t it? Just a little something to think about…

I’d gotten a few more short texts from Tanner, which I answered with simple short responses, but I didn’t really know what to make of them so I decided not to make
anything
of them. I was having dinner with James on Sunday evening. He had to drop some paperwork off at his father’s office in the City and had asked if I would meet him on his way home.

Chili’s was right on the highway not far from my house, so I figured it would be the easiest place. I got there a little early, so I waited in the parking lot for him. As I waited, I thought more about my idea of kicking it up a notch and the fact that my parents wouldn’t be home until much later that night. Just a little something to think about…

Chapter 58

Tanner

T
he summer tour was out of control, and in a good way. Each show we did was better than the next, and the crowds seemed to get bigger at each venue we played as word spread about us.

We’d done a show the night before at that club in Suffern, New York where Scott had gotten hauled off by the cops. We ended up staying in the same motel again, and it made me think about Grace. On a whim about a month ago, I’d texted her and was surprised when I got a response, so after that I would text her every so often, mostly when I was alone and after trying, unsuccessfully, to get her out of my mind.

It was tough being so close to where she lived and not being able to see her. For a while, I’d been tossing around the idea of giving her a call and asking her to come to the outdoor concert we were doing next week. It was going to be a blast. It was actually a class reunion for a high school in the area, but it was for anyone who had graduated the school between 1975 and 1985 so it was going to be packed, and we were going to be playing all of our best stuff.

It was bring-your-own-liquor, too, so no age restrictions to get in. The reunion was going on all day, so people could hang out at the lake, then stay for the concert at night. This one was going to be a big payday for us.

Since we were free tonight, Scott had arranged for us to meet up with two girls he had met at last night’s show. I wasn’t really into it, but I agreed, since I didn’t have anything else to do. The girls picked him up at the motel, but I told him I’d meet them there since I wasn’t ready yet, and I wanted to have my own ride home anyway. I didn’t want to risk getting stranded.

I took a shower, then hopped in his truck and started on my way. I looked at the directions and it seemed to be fairly close, so I took my time on the drive over. Once I got to the highway I only had to drive about half a mile or so before I saw the sign for Chili’s.

Chilis?! Jeez, I hadn’t been there in a while.
I pulled into a spot near the front entrance and walked in, looking around for Scott. He was right where he’d said he’d be—at the bar--but I could tell right away that something was up. As soon as he saw me he jumped off his stool and dragged me to the other end of the bar. His eyes were all wide.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Okay,
don’t
turn around,” he began, which of course made me automatically turn around.

“I said
don’t
turn around, idiot.”

I let out an exasperated breath and said, “Scott, please, enough with the drama. Who are we hiding from?” I thought that we were avoiding one of the many girls he’d dissed recently.

“Okay, I tried to call and warn you, but you didn’t pick up,” he said.

“Maybe because I was in the shower. Now, what’s the problem?”

“Okay,” he began, “don’t look now, but
someone
is over there canoodling with some tool.”

“Canoodling?!
What? Are you like a reporter for the
Enquirer
or something?” I said laughing. “And who’s the
someone
doing the offensive canoodling?”

He hesitated a moment before leaning toward me and whispering, “Grace.”

“Grace!” I said as my head instantly spun around.

“Don’t!” he hissed. “She might see you. She’s not in the bar, she’s at one of the booths. You can see her if you look across the top of the liquor bottles. Okay, now turn around slowly…
slowly
.”

I did as told, and if I angled myself just right, I was able to see her clear as day right there in front of me. It was like all these months of being away from her just vanished into thin air, and I was right back where I was that day back in May when she left my apartment for the last time.

My eyes slowly glided to the left of her, and it felt as if someone had taken a knife and stabbed me right in the gut. The ‘tool’ was sitting right next to her with his arm around her, but he didn’t look like a tool at all. He was a well-dressed, clean shaven respectable looking guy – exactly who I’d picture her to be with.

About a thousand and one thoughts swirled through my head at lightning speed, the first and foremost, of course, being the inevitable:
Was she sleeping with him?
After all this time, the thought of her with anyone else still made me nauseous. Yet I couldn’t take my eyes off them, wondering how it was between them, if it was anything close to what we’d had.

It was impossible, at least I thought it was. Just then Grace laughed at something he’d said, and my heart sank. How long had it been since I’d seen her laugh?
Since right before you fucked up, dickhead.

Just then, I had an idea, which I quickly whispered to Scott. He grinned, and a minute later, he was talking to their waitress, telling her he thought “Mr. Tool” had left his headlights on. A minute after that, the waitress went over to their table. From what I could see, he politely excused himself and headed out to the parking lot.

I quickly took my phone out of my pocket and texted her –
hey, been thinking about u; whats up?
–and then I watched and waited. Her reaction when she read the text would hopefully tell me what I needed to know.

I saw her reach into her purse and pull out her phone. Then I held in a breath as I watched her read it to herself. As if on cue, I saw her eyes light up and a warm smile spread across her face. Then she looked over her shoulder before quickly texting back –
just finishing dinner. how bout u?
–

I texted back –
me n scott in nj
. I saw her eyes go wide when she read it, but she couldn’t respond because the guy had come back. Then something weird happened. She said something to the guy, and then she got up and walked to what I assumed was the bathroom. I waited a minute and then my phone went off again –
where in nj r u?

Just then Scott came over. “Uh, will you be joining us, or are you not done torturing yourself yet?”

“In a minute,” I told him as I started to back away from him. “I’ll be right back.” Then I headed towards the bathroom as I texted –
the bathroom at Chilis
– and I hit send just as I approached the bathroom door.

Soon after, the bathroom door slowly began to open and there stood a very surprised Grace with eyes wide and a look of utter bewilderment on her face. We just stared at each other, and it took every ounce of strength I had not to scoop her into my arms and carry her right out the door.

“Tanner!” she exclaimed. “What are you doing here? How are you? How’s the tour going?” She slowed down. “It’s… it’s been so long.”

“It
has
been a while,” I said, “too long. You look great, Grace.”

She smiled, but kept looking toward the restaurant. “Tanner, I wish I could stay and catch up, but I’m…” and then she looked around again and whispered, “. . . I’m sort of here with someone.”

I looked around, imitating her, and then whispered back, “I know…I’m sort of here with someone, too.”

She laughed, quickly covering her mouth. “I have to get going. Give me a call, and we can catch up.”

“Sounds good,” I said, and then she scooted back to her table.

I stood there shocked for a minute, thinking to myself,
What just happened?
I didn’t know what I had expected to happen when I came over here, but it definitely wasn’t this. I waited by the bathroom until I was sure she was gone, knowing that Scott was probably getting ready to send a search party after me.

“What happened?” he asked when I finally got back.

“I’ll tell you later,” I told him, and then I looked over at the girls. There was just no way I wanted to stay here with them tonight. I gave Scott a lame excuse about being tired, apologized to the girls, then walked out the door. But I’d no sooner started the truck when the door opened and Scott was climbing into the passenger seat.

“What the fuck, man?” he said. “What just happened in there?”

I didn’t say anything for a minute, and then I finally admitted that I’d spoken to Grace.

“Oh, man, please tell me we’re not gonna start this again,” he whined.

“Okay, then, I won’t tell you,” I said, and we drove the rest of the way in silence.

Not another word was spoken until the morning when we were deciding on what to get for breakfast. The diner was the closest place, and I was relieved when we walked in and saw Cole and the rest of the guys at a large table in the middle. We joined them, ensuring that the topic wouldn’t be brought up again.

Later that afternoon, I slipped out of the motel room to call Grace. She answered right away and was just as friendly as she’d been the night before. For nearly an hour, we talked non-stop about the tour, the band and what she’d been doing all summer. Finally, unable to take it any longer, I brought up the six-hundred-pound gorilla in the room. “So…the guy you were with…is he like your boyfriend or something…?”

She answered my question with a question. “So…the girls I saw Scott with when I left…was one of them like your girlfriend?”

“Touché” I said, “but, no, neither one of them was my girlfriend, nor do I have a girlfriend at the moment.”

“Oh, well, the guy I was with isn’t actually my boyfriend, but we have gone out a few times.”

“Oh,” was all I said, hoping the relief didn’t show in my voice. “So listen, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come to one of our shows. The outdoor concert’s next week and you don’t have to be twenty-one to get in…you could even bring your sister if you wanted.”

“Oh, I’m sure Ryder would
love
that,” she said, “but I’m…I’m not really sure if I’ll be around.”

“Oh, okay, no pressure,” I said, realizing that she was playing it safe, “but in case you do decide to come, it’s next Saturday at…um…I think it’s called Willow Lake. Once you get off Route 287, it’s maybe just a few miles down Route 23 South. We go on at dusk.”

“Okay, so next Saturday, Willow Lake at dusk…okay, I’ll think about going if I’m around…like I said, I know Ryder would love it.”

“Okay,” I said, “so…maybe I’ll see you next week then.”

“Yeah, maybe. Okay…I should…I should really get going,” she said.

I didn’t want to hang up, but I didn’t want to seem pathetic either, so I just said, “Okay, then, take care.”

“Okay, you too, bye.” And then she hung up.

I stood there with the phone in my hand and actually felt pretty good that she might actually show up. If she did, that would be awesome, but if she didn’t…if she didn’t, I was going to have to consider this whole thing to be officially dead in the water.