Immortal Confessions (3 page)

I lay there for a while, thinking of my next
actions. Deciding a few coins were worth the small trouble, I
dressed the animals. Carrying them, I made my way back to the
castle, and snuck back inside the walls.

I brought the carcasses to the kitchen, and
the night cook was pleased, if surprised. She gave me coin for the
flesh with no questions, and I gratefully took it.

I was tired by then and eager to rest. It was
as I was walking upstairs to the coquette’s bed that I caught the
sound of voices.

“I’m afraid,” a young feminine voice said. “I
don’t want to do this.”

“You must,” a masculine voice said
firmly.

Young lovers, out for her first time. I’d
just avoid them.

“No.”

“Anna, you must. Our fathers wish it. And
you’ve known me since you were young.”

“I have, Marcus. I think of you as a brother.
But I don’t love you. I don’t want to be your wife.”

This was expected. Most arranged marriages
were not met with glee, but sullen acquiescence. Long ago, I’d
faced the prospect of my own the same way.

“We’ll have a good life together, Anna.”

“I don’t want a good life,” she said
stridently. “I want a great one. I want to see more than the inside
of a house, and to do sewing! I want to read!”

This was not expected. I listened harder.

“Anna, you’ll learn to read, if you wish.
I’ll teach you. But your place is with me, and to be mother to my
children. Don’t you want that?”

“No,” Anna said, nearly inaudibly. “I’m not
sure I do. And perhaps there is something wrong with me, that I
don’t desire motherhood, the way my sisters did. Their reason for
being was to birth children, and to be wives. But I want more than
that.”

Interesting. Perhaps I could use this to my
advantage.

I waited until Marcus left. Anna was walking
through the hallway, when I abruptly moved in front of her. She let
out a gasp, and shrank back.

“Sorry, milady,” I said gallantly. “I didn’t
mean to startle you. I offer my apologies.”

“Accepted,” she said simply, looking at me
with suspicious big brown eyes. “Now please let me pass.”

At least her eyes were pretty. “Would you
like me to read to you?” I offered quickly. “I could teach you, if
you wish.”

She looked at me with more suspicion. “Why?
You do not know me, sir, and no man or woman offers a favor without
expecting something in return.”

I looked at her in surprise, and then laughed
richly. “So jaded, for one so young! You misunderstand: I don’t
want anything, just time with you. It is admirable, that you want
to be able to appreciate the written word, when so many women these
days do not.”

That was a lie, of course. But in order to
get her to trust me, I had to spend time with her. This one was not
going to be persuaded by my normal means.

“I should not,” she said, in a tone that said
she was thinking about it. “My father would disapprove.”

“I promise I’ll not touch you, not even your
hand. Where is the harm in that?” I said cajolingly.

I saw her give in first in her eyes, before
she nodded. “Very well.”

She took me to her father’s study, handed me
a book of poetry, and then looked at me expectantly.

I’d taught my brother Danial to read. It had
been much like this with him, all those years ago. I opened the
book, and began.

By the end of that night, we’d mastered a few
lines, and she could recognize most letters. She was smart and she
wanted badly to learn, both of which speeded her comprehension. I
was pleased about that, as it made my teaching easier.

I was not pleased she was perceptive. “You
are of noble birth, aren’t you?” she said as she shut her father’s
study door behind us.

I didn’t look at her. “I was.”

“And I am not the first you taught to
read.”

Now I was melancholy. “No,” I said in an old
voice. “My brother was. He’s dead. All my family is dead.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, touching my arm
gently. Her hand was warm on my cool flesh, which she noticed at
once. She looked at me oddly. “You’re chilled. Where do you
sleep?”

Awkward to admit, unless I understated
things. “I pay one of the maids to bunk with her. It surpasses
sleeping on the floor.” And being burned by sunlight. Castles had
no curtains, and it being spring, the tapestries had been taken
down.

“Good night, then,” she said, and walked
away.

Not bad, for a first night. Of course, when I
got to my lover’s bed, she was livid. “Where have you been!” she
hissed at me. “I’ve waited for you for hours!”

“Bringing you coin,” I said soothingly,
handing her a fifth of what I’d received for the animals. “I
thought it the least I could do, for your generosity. I set some
snares, and caught a few rabbits.”

She looked at me grumpily, but I kissed her
in practiced motion. Before long, she was in a much better
mood.

* * * *

A week passed. I met with Anna every night.
She mastered the written word almost supernaturally fast. This was
partly because we’d only read one book of poetry, and the author of
that book tended to use the same words in all of his writings. But
on the whole, it was remarkable progress for a woman, even for a
smart one. I told her this in more flattering words, and it seemed
to please her.

I found myself liking Anna. She was the
typical youngest daughter of a nobleman: haughty, but also good,
kind, and a little naughty from being ignored most of her life.
None of the things she related to me in whispers were very bad.
They were the kind of childish exploits that seem large to a young
girl and absurd to someone much older. Nevertheless, I was amused
to hear her tale of caring for an injured crow, the rumor she’d
started about a rival that had caused her not to leave her room for
days, and the story of setting the tapestry near the main fireplace
alight with a carelessly dropped brand.

I also noticed that she seemed to like me.
That was expected, as I listened to her as no one else probably
did. Plus, I was very attractive, which was always a help.

Finally, I found out from her what I wanted
to know. The treasure was due to arrive the next day in a large
caravan. Irritatingly, the real treasure was not in the caravan,
but in a purse the lead man was carrying. It was loose jewels,
principally sapphires and diamonds. That purse was worth ten times
what the rest was worth.

Relieved, I made plans to get word to the
gypsies. That would mean sneaking out this very night, and trying
to find their headman after feeding. I’d need to go right now,
because even leaving immediately I’d be hard pressed to make it
back inside the walls before dawn...

“I must go,” I said, getting up. “I must
hunt.”

“Hunt what?”

I hadn’t meant to make that slip. A blush
suffused my face, shocking me. I hadn’t blushed for a hundred
years, easily.

“Devlin?”

“I hunt for deer, to supplement my income,” I
said as convincingly as I could muster. “I have needed new boots
for a while now, Milady.”

“I see,” she said, after a moment. “It’s true
yours are of an ancient style.”

That was true. I didn’t want to wear the
newer style boots, with the short tops and higher heel. I’d always
preferred my full leg boots. They’d saved my legs from burning many
a time, when I’d woken up to find I’d rolled outside a shelter in
my sleep, and the lower part of me was laying in the dawn’s weak
light.

“I’ll leave you, Lady. Good night.”

“Here,” she said. “Take this, for your
assistance to me.” She handed me a heavy purse of gold cloth.

I knew at once it easily contained enough
coin for some new boots, and I was unsure how to react. Part of me
told me to refuse it, because I had been bred better than to take
money from a woman. The practical side of me told me to take it,
because with it, there would be no more lugging deer back though
the forest for a few coins.

I took the middle road. “Keep your money,
Anna. We are not done with your lessons. In another few days, we
will be, and if you are satisfied, you can give me the money
then.”

She took her purse back, a measure of respect
in her eyes. “Agreed.”

* * * *

A few more days went by, and still the
caravan did not arrive. This was due to strong thunderstorms and
lightning, which turned most peasants into groveling cowards and
all roads into quagmires. The weather turned cold suddenly again,
bringing a thick covering of snow and ice that further delayed my
plans. So I waited, gritting my fangs. And somewhere in those few
days, something changed.

I felt a growing fondness for Anna. When I
found myself closing my eyes with my lady in waiting as I loved
her, so that I might pretend it was Anna beneath me, I knew
something was wrong with me. I’d never cared before who I bedded.
For whatever reason, I cared now.

Looking back, it was the beginning of love.
I’d never been in love before. I was used to cold women like my
mother, and though I’d bedded many women of all classes, I’d never
taken the time to get to know any of them. Anna’s passion came
through in her lessons, in her strong voice as she read the poetry
aloud to me. That made me want her, because in her was something of
myself, how I had been long ago. So I decided before I left, I’d do
my best to bed her at least once.

A few days later, I pronounced her
proficient, even though she was really just passable. But our time
together had run out, as the jewels were due to arrive in less than
two days, at least if the dry warmer weather held. I needed my
remaining nights—what was not already taken up with feeding, making
love, and performing—to plan my departure. I’d met up with the
gypsy in the forest a few nights ago, and told him to expect the
carriage. It was then I’d found the plan had changed.

“We’ll get the purse, and the caravan before
it reaches the castle,” he’d said, pleased. “We’ll meet you in a
week hence, a day’s walk to the East. There, we’ll give you your
share.”

I was surprised to hear he meant it. That
became irritation when he went on to talk of me joining them, as
Maris had talked of nothing but me since our time together. It was
no surprise he wanted me to marry her, though he made it sound as
if it was a good business proposition.

“—
she can dance, Maris can. You could
make a fair bit of money, with her performing to your
music—”

It was clear he expected the marriage to take
place right after we divided the loot. While it was encouraging
he’d meant to keep his part of the bargain, there was no way I was
marrying anyone, much less that young twit. However, a flat refusal
would offend him. Agreeing right away would also cast suspicion, as
he’d offered me no dowry.

“I will need to consider this,” I said
seriously. “May I bed her again, before I leave?”

Maris was in my arms a few seconds later, and
she was forward enough to begin taking off my clothes. I pushed her
down into the grass before she could, closed my eyes, and made love
to her quickly, imagining her to be Anna. After we’d finished, I
made my excuses and slipped away, even as she pleadingly whined for
me to come back.

As I traveled, I tried to come up with some
other plan for getting my share of the loot besides marrying Maris
and then killing her. While I’d killed before with no qualms, I
still retained a shred of honor: I could not promise to protect a
woman, then turn around and simply kill her. Perhaps I could lay my
hands on a portion of the dowry, let the gypsies inside to steal,
then slip away, leaving them to be caught. It was going to have to
do as a plan for now. I faced another, more urgent dilemma.

Going to my lady in waiting smelling of
lovemaking would surely enrage her. But where else could I go?
There was a washbasin in the room where Anna and I met, but that
might lead me to run into Anna herself. Seeing Anna would make
trouble, as she might well know the scent of semen, even though
she’d always acted pristine. Instead, I went to a stream outside
the castle and used up my last sliver of soap to wash my body
clean, though the water was freezing, and there was ice on my body
and in my hair before I finished.

I thanked my senses for that bit of genius
the moment I reentered the castle. Anna was waiting for me, even
though she was not supposed to be.

“Where were you?” she said flatly. “Catching
deer? Or is it salmon this time, as your hair is wet?”

“You mean trout,” I said, pushing past her.
“Salmon do not live anywhere near here, Annabelle.”

“Don’t speak to me like I’m a child!”

I turned and stepped into her, so we were
only a hand’s-breadth apart. To my surprise, she didn’t back down.
“What is it to you, Milady? I am not your betrothed, that you
should be concerned about my whereabouts at night.”

“I was worried,” she said softly. “I heard
Fiona say she’d been looking for you—”

Wonderful. There went my peaceful night.

“—
and I looked everywhere, sure you had
to be within the castle grounds, but you were not here.” She looked
at me steadily. “Is it because you are with someone else? Being
intimate with another woman?”

I gave her a faint smile, and tilted her chin
up so we were only an inch apart. “I am with another woman, the one
I’ve been sneaking off to see.” I kissed her cheek lightly, and
then I tried for her lips, already imagining how soft they would
be.

Instead, I got a resounding slap. It didn’t
hurt me, being vampire, but it sure got my attention.

“Cad,” she said bitterly. “Don’t pretend that
you care for me. You’ve been here not even a fortnight, and already
bedded two different women. I’ll not be the third.”

I gave her a wounded look, trying to regain
my composure that was for some reason failing me. “I told you why
that was. I needed a place to sleep—”