Impossible Things (20 page)

Panic pushed her on, out towards another bank.
I’m doing this wrong, I’m missing so much surface area, I don’t know how to do it!

And then she felt it. Something much bigger than a fish, something that felt like fabric. A sleeve. An arm. Garik.
Oh, thank the gods!

She pulled his body to her. He wasn’t moving, just floating eerily in the water. Ishtaer hooked her right arm under his chin and with her left, punched up at the ice. Her feet touched the ground, and she pushed her body up at the ceiling above her, feeling the ice crack and splinter as she shoved free.

She was near the bank. Heaving Garik’s small body over her shoulder, she waded out, set him on the ground, and collapsed to her knees beside him. Brutus rushed over, whimpering and nuzzling her.

‘Not now,’ she told him, and pressed hands that were almost numb to the child’s chest. His heart was still beating, although he wasn’t breathing. She bent and began breathing into his mouth, pushing down on his chest, willing him to breathe, calling on every ounce of strength her crystals could give her to make his lungs work by themselves, to draw the water out, to make him live.

If I could breathe for you, I would,
she promised him, and then Garik sucked in a great load of air and coughed up a great load of water and Ishtaer nearly sobbed in relief.

‘Is he all right? Will he be all right?’ Mags cried, and Ishtaer started, because she hadn’t even realised anyone else had arrived. She pushed Garik to his side and he continued to cough up water, while Mags threw a blanket over him and rubbed his back before dragging him into her arms and hugging him tight.

‘Oh, my precious boy,’ she wept, and Ishtaer fell back. She heard Kael’s deep voice, rough with pain, felt him kneel down and murmur to Garik. She thought she heard him sob a little.

Ishtaer wrapped her arms around Brutus, feeling his warmth seep into her, and tried to get her heartbeat under control. Someone draped a blanket over her shoulders. Eirenn said, ‘Are you all right?’

She nodded. ‘I’m fine.’ And she felt fine, relief numbing her pain. ‘We need to get Garik indoors, out of those wet clothes, warmed up. I need to check for infection, the pond water might—’

Then someone kissed her, and all her words disappeared.

It wasn’t a tender kiss, or a lecherous kiss. It was a hard kiss, open-mouthed and fierce, and she felt hot tears on her cheeks that hadn’t come from her own eyes.

‘You saved him,’ Kael gasped against her lips. ‘You saved my boy. Oh gods, Ishtaer. Thank you.’

Ishtaer was too stunned to reply.

Kael carried his son back to the castle, feeling the small body shiver and shake in his arms, and cursed himself for being so blindsided by Ishtaer’s anger that he hadn’t checked the ice was safe.
If she hadn’t been there, if she hadn’t risked
—

‘I think he’s got rid of most of the water,’ Ishtaer said, hurrying to keep pace with him, ‘but I’ll need to check he hasn’t got any fluid on his lungs. First thing is to get him warm and dry, though.’

‘And you,’ he managed, looking at the dark hair plastered to her head, the coif carelessly pushed back around her neck.

‘I’ll be fine. I’ve been colder.’

He shouldered through the door to the room the boys shared and Mags bustled in behind him, shouting instructions for blankets and towels and hot stones for the bed. They were Krullish, they knew how to deal with the cold. Everyone knew how to take precautions, and everyone knew that sometimes precautions weren’t enough.

They stripped Garik of his wet clothes, dressed him in the warmest ones he had, and wrapped him in blankets. Durran dived into the bed with his brother.

‘I’ll keep him warm,’ he promised, and Kael’s heart turned over.

‘You were very brave,’ he told Durran.

‘I should have gone after him.’

‘No, you absolutely shouldn’t.’

‘You could have drowned,’ Mags scolded.

‘Then I’d be dealing with two of you frozen to the bone,’ Ishtaer said.

‘But that means you’re frozen instead,’ Durran said. He looked miserable. ‘And you’re a lady. A lady shouldn’t have to risk herself for a man.’

Kael touched his son’s dark hair.
You’re not a man, not even nearly
. ‘Ishtaer is an intelligent adult who knew what she was doing. And she’s a Warrior, so she’s much stronger than any other lady.’

‘And a lady who’d let a child drown isn’t much of a lady,’ Ishtaer added quietly.

Kael glanced at her, her face pale, her mail shirt miles too big for her. She was barely using her right arm, he noticed.

‘You need to go and warm up,’ he told her, ‘and see to that arm. Do you want any help?’

She shook her head, and lifted her left hand from Garik’s chest. ‘I can’t feel any signs of fluid on the lungs, and he seems to be free from fever, but he needs to be watched, all night. If he develops a temperature, or he’s coughing up anything wet or frothy, or his breathing is noisy—’

‘We’ll come and get you. But you need to rest too,’ Mags said. She took Ishtaer’s hand and used it to pull her into a hug. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.

‘It’s what anyone would do,’ Ishtaer said, and disentangled herself. ‘Come on, Brutus.’

She left, and Kael found himself sitting in his sons’ bedroom, watching the two boys sleep. Tears burned behind his eyes, which was ridiculous, because they were safe, they were both safe, and fine. Crying now was pointless.

‘He’ll be fine,’ Mags said. ‘He wasn’t under for long. And she is a good Healer.’

Kael nodded.

‘If you want to get some sleep I’ll sit up with them.’

He shook his head.

‘Or my sister will come in. It’s not a problem.’

Kael bit his own lip, and Mags slid her arm around his shoulders in a hug.

‘I won’t tell anyone if you cry a bit,’ she said.

‘I’m a swiving warlord, I don’t cry,’ he said, the words broken by a sob.

‘Oh, come here,’ Mags said, and pulled him into her arms. He pressed his face against her neck and cried great sobs of relief. Garik was safe, he was fine, and the dreadful, all-consuming fear that had been with him since Durran ran into the training yard, his face drip white, was ebbing.

‘How could I have been so stupid?’

‘It’s not your fault, Kael.’

‘I should have gone and checked the ice, they should have been supervised …’

‘You can’t supervise them every minute of every day.’

‘Someone should.’

‘Kael, they’re smart boys, they know when something is dangerous. You saw the ice, it was thick enough to bear adult weight. They just got unlucky.’

‘I’m never letting them play on ice again.’

‘Quite probably Garik will never go near it again. Even you’ve fallen through thin ice, Kael. You told me.’

He lifted his head. ‘I did? When?’

Mags glanced at the two sleeping boys. ‘About eight years ago,’ she said quietly.

Kael followed her gaze. Durran had his arms wrapped around his brother, his dark hair falling over his eyes.
He looks so much like his father
.

He straightened up. ‘Last time I sat in a bedroom and sobbed on someone’s shoulder,’ he said.

‘I recall I was doing a lot of sobbing too.’

‘I recall we both had good reason.’

She squeezed his hand and smiled.

‘Now look, with all this commotion neither of us has eaten since breakfast. You stay here and I’ll go and fetch some food.’

‘I can go,’ Kael offered.

‘Last time you looked for food you left half the cupboards open and one of the dogs got in.’ She stood up. ‘I’ll send something on to Ishtaer too, she’ll be in need of fuel. I doubt she’ll have thought of it herself.’

‘Harsh, Mags.’

‘True though. That girl is incapable of doing anything for herself.’

Kael felt the bruise on his ribs from her sword and shook his head. ‘Trust me,’ he said, ‘she’s improving.’

Mags regarded him, head on one side. ‘What
did
happen to her?’

He shuddered. He always did when he remembered Ishtaer’s memories. ‘You really don’t want to know.’

Mags rolled her eyes and left the room, and Kael took the opportunity to offer a few very heartfelt prayers to whichever gods were listening. When Mags returned, it was with bowls of soup, chunks of bread and cheese, and a couple of tankards of ale.

‘I sent Eirenn with some for Ishtaer,’ she said. ‘Didn’t take much persuading.’

‘I know. He’s totally in love with her.’

‘Not sure what he sees,’ Mags mused, and Kael shot her a look. ‘Don’t be like that, she’s perfectly pleasant, and I suppose she’s quite pretty too, but she’s so … timid.’

‘So timid she leapt into a frozen pond without even the benefit of sight, in order to save a child she’d known two months.’

Mags’s hand tightened on her tankard. ‘You’re right, I’m sorry. Eat your soup before it gets cold. It’s already dark out, did you realise?’

He hadn’t. The shutters had been shut to keep the heat in, and he supposed they’d been here longer than they realised.

‘I’ve asked Klara to take over dinner. Everyone knows what’s happened, they won’t mind us not showing our faces. Unless you want to – I’ll stay here.’

‘I’m staying too.’

Mags opened her mouth to reply to that, but the door banged open with such urgency that he never got to find out what she was going to say.

Eirenn stood there, eyes wide with panic. ‘It’s Ishtaer,’ he said, and Kael’s spoon fell into his bowl with a splash. He was halfway to his feet before Eirenn finished speaking.

‘What?’

‘She’s just … sitting there, she’s not saying anything, she’s freezing cold and she won’t get changed or eat anything, and her arm is a mess, and I don’t – I don’t know what to do.’

Kael turned to the door, stopped and turned back. The boys slept on, oblivious. Mags calmly set his food on the floor.

‘Of course you must go,’ she said.

‘I said I’d stay—’

‘And leave your Healer in a catatonic state? Kael, the boys will be fine. If there’s any change I’ll come and get you, but I think Ishtaer needs you more.’ She gave him an unreadable look. ‘You’re the only one she pays attention to.’

Kael dashed back to the bed to give his sons a kiss, then hurried after Eirenn down the maze of corridors to Ishtaer’s room.

‘Did she say anything? Is she awake?’

‘Yes, but she’s just not … it’s like she’s entirely unaware of anything.’

‘Shock,’ Kael said. ‘She’s just overwhelmed and freezing cold, and I’m pretty sure that arm was broken. She’ll have been running on adrenaline—’

He stopped dead as the realisation hit him.
Freezing cold and broken bones
.

‘Oh gods,’ he said, and set off at a run.

She sat on the treatment bed in her workshop, apparently staring at the far wall, her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped tight around them. Her face was whiter than the snow outside, her eyes huge and unfocused. The sleeve of her mail shirt was dark with blood and dented into her flesh. Brutus sat on the floor, nudging her with his nose and whining worriedly.

She wasn’t even shivering.

‘Ishtaer. Ish.’ He shook her by the shoulder. She might have been made of ice. ‘You’re all right. You’re going to be all right. We’ll get you warmed up and treat that arm, and you need to eat something, and you’ll be all right. Ishtaer, listen to me. Ishtaer!’

Her breathing was shallow and uneven.

‘What do we do?’ Eirenn asked, clattering into the room behind him.

I don’t know
. Kael tugged at her hand, which just made her clutch at herself harder. ‘We need to get her warm. Get these clothes off her and warm up the room.’ He was vaguely aware of Eirenn drawing curtains over the windows and clattering about with logs.

‘Ishtaer, listen to me. No one’s going to hurt you. We want to make you better. That’s all. We want to help.’

Still nothing. Kael pressed his forehead against hers. She was frozen.

‘Ishtaer, please, sweetheart. I know you’re cold, and you’re hurt. I know your bones feel like they’ve been turned to ice and your blood is full of stabbing little needles. I know your arm hurts so badly you can’t even think about it. And I know that last time you felt like this very bad things happened and it never got any better. But it will this time. I promise you. I will make it better.’

Her breath hitched as if she was about to cry.

‘I won’t ever let anyone hurt you,’ he whispered fiercely.

She moved her head against his.

‘Just trust me, okay sweetheart? Trust me.’

She gave a tiny nod, and Kael let out his breath in a rapid sigh.

‘Right, Eirenn,’ he said. ‘I need you to leave.’

‘What?’ The boy paused with a chunk of wood in his hand. ‘No. She’s my friend—’

‘And you have no idea why she’s in a catatonic state. I do. And I know she doesn’t want anyone else knowing about it.’

‘I won’t tell—’

‘But you’ll know. Do as I say, Eirenn.’

Eirenn looked mutinous, but he put down the wood and walked over. ‘Ishtaer. Do you want me to stay?’

For a moment she didn’t react. Then she whispered, ‘Go,’ and Eirenn looked like he’d been slapped.

‘I’ll be back later,’ he warned, and stumped out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The noise made Ishtaer jump. Good. At least she was reacting.

‘You need to get out of these clothes, Ish. Can’t warm you up otherwise. Now, are you going to do it, or do you need my help?’

Her throat worked a few times. He wasn’t sure she could move.

Gently, he took her uninjured arm and prised the fingers from their death grip on her knee. That went well, so he straightened out her arm and tried not to notice it was like manipulating ice.

‘This is going to hurt, just now, but then we’ll fix it and the hurt will go away, okay? I just need to move your arm. Really carefully. All right? Here we go. See, not too bad, it’ll be much better soon, you’re doing so well. You’re being so brave.’

Tears started trickling down her cheeks. Kael wasn’t sure he could take that. His own eyes were burning again.

‘Okay, now your feet. One by one, let’s put them down on the ground. Just unbend your legs. That’s it. There you are, much better, right?’