Impossibly Forever: Two Books in One (Impossibly Duology) (11 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Branden

  
After my consultation
with Doctor Henderson, Mom wanted me home. She
said it was better to be away from the stressful school environment. I knew it
was simply because she was scared; so scared that she wanted me close and on
her radar.

  
No one said anything after leaving the hospital. Mom didn’t even comment on Dad
finally being present for my visit with Doctor Henderson.

  
That night we had dinner together, all four of us, and surprisingly, Mom
started a conversation in a rare tone of excitement. “Guess who I saw today at
the bank?”

  
Dad asked, “Who?” pretending to be as enthusiastic as Mom was.

  
“Samantha.”

  
I looked up from my plate. Mom’s pale blue eyes beamed at me in return. When I
made no comment, she continued, “Apparently, Sammie’s working part-time at
Wesley Bank while taking night classes at Colby-Sawyer College.”

  
That sounded strange. Samantha always said she was going to study at Yale. I
wondered what changed.

  
“It was rather odd,” Mom went on. “She seemed so flustered seeing me, as if I
was going to chew her head off.”

  
Ashton dropped his fork. “Well, she was kind of a bitch to Branden, so of
course she’d feel bad seeing you, mom. She should feel bad.” He was mad at
Samantha for the way she ended things between us.

  
“Hey, I’m over it. You guys should be, too.” I snapped, before taking a slice
of my pork chop.

  
The look on Mom’s face told me she didn’t want it to be over. After all, no one
wanted Samantha and I to be together more than Mom did. She had big plans for
us. Why was she asking about Moya, then?

  
“Branden,” Dad muttered under his breath, the sound of his stern voice
disrupted my contemplating. “Let’s you and I have a talk after dinner, okay,
son?”

  
I nodded. It felt weird that Dad actually wanted to exchange words. He barely
even looked me in the eye in months since I got sick. I was glad, though, he’d
started to come around.

  
After dinner, I went out back to where Dad was sitting, looking out at the
still water. The lights of the Naval Academy Bridge and Annapolis were barely
visible in the distance, but it was a good scene nevertheless.

  
He heard my steps and motioned me over to the chair next to him.

  
“What’s up, Dad?” I asked. The anticipation made me uneasy.

  
Dad cleared his throat and sat out on the chair. “Your mom kept this from you,
Branden, because she's scared. But I thought it was important that you knew.”

  
I shrugged. “Knew what?”

  
His eyes watered briefly and he turned his head. “Doctor Henderson said the
surgery may be even more risky this time around, might speed up your death. But
these…” he trailed. “These meds you’ve been on could give you more time.”

  
The chair suddenly turned icy and I jumped out of it. “So, what’re you saying,
I should wait it out?” My stomach churned. How could there not be a way for me
to finally and freely give Moya all the love I’d been feeling in my heart the
past few days?

  
Dad got up from the chair and spread his arms apart as he approached me. That’s
when I realized I was shaking, and tears were fighting to pour out, because I
was starting to realize I’d probably never have the chance to be with Moya.

  
It all came crashing down on me: my feelings and my sickness. I couldn’t take
it anymore. I started to run. I ran so hard and so long that I ended up at the
hockey rink near my old high school.

  
My heart was beating uncontrollably as if it was about to rip out of my chest.
I pressed my forehead against the cold concrete and pounded my fist on the wall,
unable to hold back the tears as they burned my eyes.

  
Shortly after, I found a way inside and sat on one of the seats, slouching over
as I hung my head in the palm of my hands.

  
Not sure how long I’d been sitting there.

  
After some time passed, I heard footsteps coming toward me. I didn’t look up to
see who it was—a little embarrassed because my face was probably covered in
tears.

  
A firm hand squeezed my shoulder and I knew who it was. Sitting up, I wiped my
face as Ashton settled in the seat next to mine.

  
He rubbed his eyebrow then took a long breath. “Mom and Dad are worried about
you. I had an idea where you were so I told them I’d come get you.”

  
I cleared my throat, like there was a frog stuck inside. “Sorry, I had to be by
myself for a while.” My voice was hoarse.

  
Ashton got up and stuck his hands inside the pockets of his sweatpants. “Look,
Branden,” Ashton started, the loose fabric of his sweatpants not hiding the way
his hands balled into tense fists, “…like Dad said, we’re all hurting, too.”

  
He fell quiet for a moment, his chest heaving with barely controlled emotion
before he offered me a frail, helpless smile. “You don’t have to hide from us,
especially not when you feel like you’re breaking down. No matter what, we’re still
a family. We’re still in this together.”

  
Ashton closed his eyes in a moment of vulnerability, the corners of his lips
struggling to remain in that faint smile before he found his voice again. 
“It’s okay, little bro.”

  
I looked up to meet his gaze and I could see the tears threatening to come out.
As the older brother, Ashton always wanted to be strong, but the memory of his
rebellious period was still hard for us to forget, especially Mom.

  
“Why were you so mad at them?” I had to ask, because he never spoke about it.
None of them did. It was swept under the rug, hidden from my ears.

  
Ashton furrowed his forehead. “What are you talking about?”

  
I stood up and pulled myself together. “During that time, when you started
going out and drinking, something triggered that behavior. What was it?”

  
His face cringed as he slanted and peered at the exit. “That…that was a long
time ago and I don’t think this is the right time—”

  
“I wanna know,” I interrupted, trying to force it out of him. “Something
happened between you and Dad. Then Mom made you more upset or…” I trailed,
trying to fit the puzzle together.

  
Ashton spun rapidly, clenching his jaw as he growled at me, “You wanna know
what happened, Branden? I’ll tell you. I found out something I wasn’t supposed
to, like our parents having separate affairs as if their marriage meant
nothing. As if our family meant nothing…” His voice faded when the moment
flashed back to him, staring vacantly at one of the seats as if I wasn’t there
at all.

  
He continued, “I don’t even know why they’re still together all this time when
they obviously hate each other. It’s probably because of…” Ashton stopped once
his eyes met mine. Of course, our parents were stuck together because of me.
They were forcing themselves to stick it out in order to take care of their
dying son.

  
Ashton and I didn’t say another word to each other the drive back home. That
was a good thing because I had so much on my mind. Like how I was going to face
the rest of the days to come, whether or not I would take the risk and have
surgery, if I would have the courage to see Moya on Friday, and why I wasn’t
affected at all hearing my parents were cheating on each other.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Moya

  
I literally counted the hours
all day Friday. I didn’t realize how much
I wanted to see Branden until he showed up outside my dorm in the afternoon.
Then I rushed into his arms as if we’d been apart for decades.

  
Branden’s eyes expanded at my dramatic reaction, and I hoped he felt the same
way.

  
He laughed as I finally composed myself and steadied on my feet. “It’s nice
seeing you,” I said softly. “I was having the worst day until now.”

  
Lowering his head, Branden kissed me passionately. Then nothing seemed to
matter except for that moment. We seemed enclosed within a circle, blocking
everything out. I all but melted like butter with his hot lips pressed against
mine.

  
When Branden and I finally pulled away from each other, he gasped, then smiled
wholeheartedly and brushed my cheeks. “It’s nice seeing you too, Moya.” He took
my hand and led me off campus down the path to Severn River. “Why were you
having the worst day?”

  
I shrugged, “Failed a quiz this morning.”

  
He squeezed my hand and gave me a ‘don’t beat
yourself
up about it’ look. I smiled in return. The way his eyes suddenly drifted from
mine to the ground made him seem as if he had a lot on his mind he wasn’t
telling me.

  
There was something about his appearance. Branden’s body language was filled
with mystery. And the way he held my hand was almost as if he was preparing to
let me go.

  
We got to the river, and like all the evenings before, the fireflies were
there. Branden played with my fingers as we relaxed, quietly watching them. I
kept my eyes on him, trying to unravel his thoughts as he peered out to the
still, dark water.

  
“You okay?”  I asked.

  
He raised his shoulders faintly. “I was thinking how you were so adamant at the
start of the semester; all in your zone trying to keep guys away from you. You
never even noticed me watching you.”

  
“Watching me, when?” I asked.

  
Branden snorted. “The first time I saw you
was
on that
weekend before classes started. You were hanging out in the courtyard near the
dorms with Vanessa. Then there was that one Tuesday when some guy brushed
against you on purpose, but you hissed and walked off. And, of course, can’t
forget Business Law or around the library.”

  
I was surprised. “I didn’t know you’d been watching me like that. Wow, not sure
if I should be flattered or frightened that I have a stalker,” I joked. The
thought occurred, once again, that now was the time to tell him how much I
cared about him. How much he had changed my heart.

  
“Branden, I think, I mean I know…” I exhaled then went for it, “I like you. I
really like you.”

  
There I was, chirping like a twelve year old who just confessed to her secret
crush. But Branden wasn’t replying the way I’d hoped.

  
His face went serious, dropping to the ground. “It was a good thing you were so
defensive before. You probably should have stayed that way with me.”

  
Branden let go of my hand and eased away a bit. I stepped closer and refilled
the distance, touching his arm as I asked, “What do you mean by that?”

  
He slanted his body, not looking me in the eye, as if he could no longer face
me. “I’m sorry, Moya. I can’t…I can’t return those feelings.”

  
My heart started to panic, my head spun. “What?” I asked nervously. “I just
told you I think I like you, Branden. Do you know how scary that is for me?”

  
“I’m sorry.” His voice sounded shaky. “I can’t be with you. I can’t give you
whatever it is you’re looking for. I…” He paused when his eyes finally met
mine, realizing I was sobbing over his words.

  
He continued spilling them once more as if it was important to him to push me
away. “I can’t give you the love you deserve. I can’t guarantee a thing, Moya.”

  
Branden pried my fingers away from his arm and walked away from me. I had no
idea I was gripping him so tightly.

  
I hurried after him and pulled on his elbow, bringing Branden to a stop. His
eyes widened as I stood before him, probably thinking I was going to beg him to
retract his words.

  
I wouldn’t do that. I’d never beg someone—a man—to love me.

  
For the first time in my life I wanted to give that thing called love a try,
with Branden. My feelings for him had been coming on so strong that I thought I
was falling for him. But nothing could take away the pain I was feeling in my
heart at that moment.

  
I lifted my hand and slapped him across the face. I trembled afterwards,
glaring at the red fingerprints left behind on his cheek. It must have stung as
much as my hand did.

  
Branden said nothing, though. He kept his face in the direction I slapped him
in, breathing heavily. The veins in his neck looked as if they were about to
pop.

  
I wiped away my tears harshly and mouthed, “Bastard,” taking off right after.

  
Branden better not chase after me again because I wasn’t going to fall easily
under his spell for a second time. It was over. I was going back to focusing on
nothing but school. I was returning to being Moya Douglas: the girl proven
right after years of believing that love truly was just a silly emotion, one
that would only leave you feeling sad. And that was exactly how Branden
McCarthy made me feel.