Impossibly Love (6 page)

CHAPTER TEN

Branden

     
I had another session at St. Joseph’s
Medical Center
with Doctor
Henderson on Monday. I really wanted to prove I could handle my first semester
of being a sophomore, but it was already the third week and I was starting to
fall behind in my classes.

     I’d been having
reoccurring aches even after doing surgery back in June last year, so he
decided to take some blood work.

     “You’re
taking your medication?” he confirmed, ticking off a bunch of stuff on his
notepad.

     Nodding my
head in exhaustion, my mother decided to speak on my behalf. “He’s been doing
everything you said, yet, his pain is coming back even greater than last time.
I thought the surgery fixed it?”

     Doctor
Henderson placed his notepad on top of his desk and sat on the edge. “These
things are rare, Debbie. It’s possible the surgery didn’t correct it as much as
we’d hoped. So, I’d like to schedule an MRI as soon as possible. I’ll put you
down for Friday if you’d like to avoid missing any classes, Branden.”

     I bobbed my
head in agreement.

     He scribbled
it down as I eased out of the chair. “Thanks, I’d like to have some sort of
normalcy. I’ve already made it through a year alright.”

     Mom stood
from her chair and patted my shoulder. “It’ll be alright, honey. I’m sure it
will.” She said that more for herself than for me.

     “If we
missed something, the MRI will detect it and we’ll treat it right away.
Whatever the case, I’m sure it’s not going to be as serious as last time.”
Doctor Henderson reassured us.

     “It’s not
going to mean surgery again, is it? That’s very risky. Last time scared us a
lot.” Mom shivered. The fear in her eyes reminded me why I was against her
coming to the sessions. Sometimes, she even made me feel like I was already
dead with her mournful words and continually saying how she regretted not being
at home more with me when I got sick the first time.

     Walking down
the hallway towards the exit, I took her hand into mine. “Mom, you really don’t
have to come
every
time. It only makes you more upset.”

     She looked
at me with distress. “Don’t say that. I’m your mother, of course I’ll be here,
which is more than I can say for your father.”

     “Oh come on,
don’t do that,” I defended him. “Dad has to work. It’s completely
understandable.”

     Mom sneered.
“Stop making excuses for his absence. He should be here, too.”

     We walked
out of the hospital and made our way to the parking lot. Mom got in and started
the car as I took my time getting in the passenger side. “Sweetie, you look so
tired. You should come home with me and get some rest.”

     I breathed.
“No, I’m fine. I can handle it.”

     She took off
down the street. Her body was shaking so much that she jumped every time
someone honked at her to speed up. Mom didn’t let it bother her, though. She
was still very concerned about me staying on campus. “You could’ve taken the
year off, you know. I don’t know why you want to force yourself to deal with
school along with your illness when you know you shouldn’t be stressed out.”

     I didn’t
reply, remaining silent the rest of the drive back to school.

     I gave mom a
peck on the cheek before getting out of the car. “I’ll call you later okay.
Don’t worry so much.”

     She turned
briefly and manufactured a smile as she said, “Bye, Branden.” I knew once she
was on her way back home she would break down and cry. Ashton told me he’d seen
her crying a few times by herself.

     My older
brother was a junior at Jones College in nearby Annapolis. We’ve been close
ever since I was born. I only saw him on weekends when I decide to go home, but
he had mentioned in our prior phone conversation how Mom was crying more than
ever and that it’d made him worry about my condition even more. Ashton had no
problem talking to me about stuff like that. Never about his issue with our
parents, though, and what caused the rift between them a few years ago.

Later that day, I decided to go to
the library for some peace and quiet. Warren had brought a girl in our room
again. She wasn’t Selene.

     To my
surprise, Moya was sitting in the lounge once again. I debated on going over to
say hello, since we did have a good time yesterday. I assumed I made some
progress in getting on her good side after bringing her by the river to watch
the fireflies.  

     “What are
you working on?” I asked quietly.

     She looked
up, a flicker of wary friendliness brightening her brown eyes. “I’m finishing
up that paper for Durant’s class. Are you done with yours already?”

     “Not yet,
almost.”

     Moya went
back to writing away with her classy-looking black pen. I sat down across from
her and she made no argument. Yes. I was truly making progress.

     I stayed
silent, admiring her work ethic and how focused she was.

     Looking up slowly,
Moya noticed my staring at her. “Is there something else?” she asked, not
sounding harsh at all.

     I made to
answer, coughing horridly instead.

     “Oh, jeez,
are you alright? Here, have some.” She offered me her bottle of water.

     Taking it
from her hand, I drank some water until it cooled my throat and settled my
cough.

     “Thank you,”
I breathed, placing the bottle down on the table.

     Moya closed
the textbook and sank back in the chair. She stared at me with concern. I
decided to ask about last night before she probed me about my health. “Why’d
you leave so fast after my phone went off?”

     She pursed
her lips and sat up straight. “I just remembered I had homework to finish up.”

     “I don’t
have a girlfriend, if that’s what you thought,” I clarified, anyway.

     She laughed
awkwardly. “That’s none of my business, whether or not you do have a
girlfriend. I mean, it’s not like we’re seeing each other.”

     “I’d like to
go out with you again.”

     As if amazed
by my abruptness, Moya fumbled her words. “I…I can’t…I just…I’m really busy.”

     I remained
persistent. “You can’t be busy all the time. How about tonight? We could go
watch the fireflies by the river again?”

     Moya shook
her head. “Can’t—”

     “Tomorrow
night?” I cut her off.

     She unveiled
a shy smile as she gave me a sidelong gaze. “You’re not going to stop are you?”

     “No. Not
until you say yes,” I replied, grinning as if I tasted sweet victory.

     Moya exhaled
with a chuckle, and then placed her books in her bag. Getting up from the
table, she motioned with her hand. “I guess I could use a break. Alright, let’s
go.”

The night couldn’t have been any
better. It was perfect as is with Moya sitting at my side, legs outstretched on
the grass.                                                                                   

     I peered
over at her sporadically, steeling glances at her flawless beauty and lowering
my eyes down to admire the rest of her. For a moment I considered easing over
to smooth my hand down her arm, kissing that honey tone skin gently enough to
make her shiver with excitement. The thought of wrapping my arms around her
body and pulling her into mine took away the loneliness scratching at my heart.

     Moya turned
and immediately my eyes dropped to the ground. How fascinating that such a
beautiful creature could be so intimidating.

     Realizing
I’d been watching her, she cleared her throat awkwardly, not bothering to
address that. “I’ve been curious ever since Nessa brought it up, how come you
stopped playing hockey in high school? Why don’t you play here?”

     That
question was inevitable. I knew it’d come up sooner or later.

     I didn’t
want to lie to Moya so I answered with a burning question instead, “How come
you don’t have a boyfriend?”

     A sigh
escaped her lips as her eyes narrowed. “I choose not to have one. It’s not the
end of the world. Anyway, why are you sidestepping my questions?”

     “What if I
want to be your boyfriend?” It flew out, and by the time it did there was no
turning back, especially since Moya wasn’t reacting.

     A small
burst of adrenalin rushed through me as I watched her face. The sudden fear
that she wouldn’t give me a chance made my words fill with a kind of hesitation
that I hoped she wouldn’t hear. “I’d like,” I started, my eyes raking over her
face to seek out any sign of encouragement, “to take you out on dates and spend
some time with you.”

     She steered
her eyes away from mine and back at the darkening water, bringing her knees up
to her chest. I decided to continue, “I’d like to make you laugh.”

     Moya spun
her head, not to provide me with any gratification. “I don’t want to go on any
more dates,” she breathed, tension trembling in her voice while elegant hands curled
protectively in her lap.

     Her lips
parted, the movement small and abbreviated, as though she had been tempted to
speak more. 

     “This
shouldn’t even have happened,” she continued. “I thought at least we could be
friends…I don’t want to invest in anything only to be disappointed later on.
Like how he disappointed me.” Her eyes darted back to the dark water, something
heavy and lonely in her gaze.

     I was driven
to curiosity and greatly concerned. “Who disappointed you?”

     She inhaled sharply
at my question then answered, “No one,” in that irritated voice I’d been trying
to get rid of.

     Moya
hastened to her feet. I stood as well, watching as she brushed her jeans off
and shook her head in frustration. She was definitely bottling up a million
things I wanted her to get out. That would be hard, since I was still an
outsider to someone so determined on not trusting guys.

     I wanted to
ask if I could walk her back to her dorm. Moya spoke first as if she’d read my
mind. “It’s better if you stop now, because I won’t give in, Branden. I can’t.”

     “Why, Moya?”
I pressed.

     “It’s just
that…” she searched for the right words to convey her thoughts, “you’re making
me second guess myself now and I don’t like it. I don’t feel like I’m my right
self around you, Branden.”

     I took in
her body language, watching as that shield was starting to crack even more than
ever. “Maybe you’re starting to like me.” It had to be that.

     She stepped
away as I moved closer to take her hand. All I wanted to do was touch her. Of
course, Moya wouldn’t let me.

     “I can’t. I
don’t want to. Leave me alone,” she pleaded, running off as if being too close
to me was scary. Undeniably, for a second there, I thought I would disregard
her apprehension and pull her tightly into my arms, never let go.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Moya

     
I found myself trying desperately
to avoid Branden after what happened
Monday night. I could hit myself for not remembering to ask him for the number
for that part-time job once again; I would have to keep looking for another one
after all.

     Wednesday
had already passed without me making eye contact or Branden trying to speak to
me after Business Law, so the only place left to evade was the library, which I
stayed away from for the rest of the week.

     This was
ridiculous.

     I wasn’t
quite sure what exactly happened by the river, but I had a feeling being close
to Branden wouldn’t be good, not if I wanted to continue protecting myself from
getting hurt. Why did he get to me like this, anyway? Why had I been so tempted
to tell him something that personal, that uncensored?

     I forced all
thoughts of Branden out of my mind as I prepared a few things to take home to
Berlin Heights for the weekend. Two days away from campus would be good. I’d
drown myself in some extra reading and hang out with Vanessa.

     But then,
walking towards the parking lot to meet my best friend, I saw the one person I
was trying to avoid. There, Branden sat on the step at the end of the concrete
path that led into the parking lot, with his head hung over, as if the whole
world weighed down on his shoulders.

     I slowed my
pace, unable to resist taking in his somber back view and how unwell he seemed.
Reaching his side, I bent down and placed my hand on his shoulder, giving him a
slight nudge.

     Branden
looked up drearily and an intense feeling flooded my chest as his eyes, the
daring blue brighter than ever, searched mine.

     I gaped.
“Um…are you alright?”

     He bobbed
his head then stood tiredly. “I was taking a breather after getting back from
the hos—” he trailed off, gazing absentmindedly at the evergreen shrubs
instead.

     I didn’t
press him for he seemed tired, figuring if he really wanted to share he would.

     Motioning to
leave, I smiled and said dryly, “Well, enjoy your weekend.”

     Branden
reached for my elbow and I swiveled, heart racing incredibly. But just as
swiftly, he released me.

     “You too,”
he said, turning to head up the path towards his dorm.

     The look in
his eyes was imploring me to stay—a severe longing for my presence. How could
he stare so unabashedly with so much affection for me, a girl he had no clue
about whatsoever?

     I snapped
out of my thoughts as Branden spun and walked back towards me. As he got
closer, standing only inches away, my eyes flickered in confusion and I backed
up a bit.

     “Do you have
to go now?” he asked, quietly.

     I narrowed
my eyes. “Yes. Why?”

     Branden took
a long breath as if his life depended on it then asked, “Have lunch with me
before you go?”

     I shook my
head, “I can’t,” then turned to walk away.

     He caught my
arm and stopped me. “Please, just for a little while.”

     “Vanessa’s
meeting me in a sec. We’re driving home together,” I explained.

     “Please,
Moya?” Branden pleaded, his voice came out hoarsen with a tone of desire mixed
with persistence.

     I should say
no, pry his fingers from my arm and walk away. The strong-willed part of me
would do that—the part that didn’t want to give in.

     I spun
around to face Branden, his hand still grasping my arm. I formed the words in
my head and commanded them to my mouth, but gazing into his eyes and seeing the
longing he had for me, I said the total opposite, “I guess I could hang out a
bit.”

     Branden
looked surprised, yet relieved. An elated smile appeared on his face, along
with two strikingly sexy, barely there dimples I hadn’t noticed before.

     I took my
cell phone out of my jeans pocket and sent Vanessa a quick text:
don’t come
down yet. Give me 10 mins.

“Thank you,” Branden muttered, as we
sat down across from each other at a table in the campus café.

     I was quite
the silly girl. After evading him the entire week, there I was having lunch
with Branden and feeling remarkably shy to meet his gaze. In the span of two
weeks, he’d managed somehow to bring my guard down. I suppose it was alright,
though. I
was
trying to be nicer. But Branden was different.
This
felt different.

     “What’s got
you thinking so hard? You’re even biting your lip.” He folded his hands on top
of the table and raised an eyebrow. I hadn’t seen lashes as perfect as his.

     Branden
dipped his head and a sneaky smile formed on his thin lips. I gasped, dropping
my head to the chicken sandwich that had been waiting to enter my stomach.
“Nothing,” I said, taking a bite. I peered back up at him. “I’m just trying to
figure out your motives.”

     “My
motives?” he placed a hand on his chest, appearing offended. Then he literally
finished his sandwich in two bites. “I’m not playing games, Moya. I just wanted
a few minutes of your time.”

    
“Why me?”
I asked, keeping my tone friendly and without
sarcasm.

     Branden
eased forward, sincerity beaming in his eyes. “There’s something about you.
Something drawing me to you.
I can’t help it. ”

     He shot me a
playful look and stopped me before I could open my mouth to protest. “Don’t
twist it around. I’m not like those guys. I won’t hurt you.”

     Tilting my head
to the side, I gave him a ‘you’re so full of it’ expression as I pursed my lips
and said, “Oh, yeah?”

     He grinned,
in a natural, seductive way. “Yeah, and I know you feel it too.”

     Honestly, I
did. “What makes you so sure?” I asked, pretending I wasn’t as drawn to him as
he was to me.

     Branden
stared at me as if no one else existed in the world. “Because, Moya,” he
smirked, “you’re here with me, right now. You didn’t run away again.”

     Suddenly, it
was as if electricity ran through my entire body. I shivered as butterflies
swarmed around inside my stomach. “Oh,” I said under my breath, picking at the
napkin. I wanted to believe in him so bad. Oh, Lord, did I want to believe.

     I couldn’t.
Just because I was working on being nicer didn’t mean I should fall for
Branden. No. I wouldn’t fall.
Please don’t make me fall
, I pleaded to my
heart. It was hopeless.

     “Uh,” I
shook nervously, as Branden reached out and placed his hand on top of mine,
soothing it with a warm and intense feeling I’d never felt before. My heart
throbbed. Damn it. I had to pull away before it was too late.

     I ordered my
hand to move, slap his away if necessary. It wouldn’t. In fact, I was only
seconds from turning my hand over to further bask in the arousing touch of his
fingertips when my cell phone started to buzz.

     Startled, I
pulled away quickly and checked the screen. It was a text from Vanessa. She was
waiting in the parking lot for me.

     I eased out of
the seat fast. Branden did the same. Keeping my eyes from his, I mouthed
softly, “I have to go. Nessa’s waiting for me.”

     Branden
reached for my hand, maybe to steal another touch. I swiftly moved passed him
before he could and headed toward the exit of the café. He followed behind.

     “I guess
I’ll see you when you get back then,” he said, pushing the door open for me.

     “Yeah, see
you,” I said, still not making eye contact.

     I walked
outside and across the quad, then down the concrete path towards the parking
lot. Branden stayed behind. The tingling he placed in my stomach was still
lingering there.

     Vanessa had
a perplexed look on her face as I approached my car.

     “What?” I
asked, nonchalantly.

     She swept
her long braids off her shoulders and allowed them to fall down in her back.
“You okay?” she asked.

     I unlocked
the doors but paused before getting in. “Yeah. Why?”

     Vanessa
shook her head and got in the passenger seat. I got in and started the car.

     “You don’t
seem like yourself, girl. What were you doing, anyway? I thought you said you
were ready when you called me earlier.” She tossed her book bag on the back
seat. “Then all of a sudden you sent me a text saying you weren’t. What was
that about?”

     I shook my
head.
“Nothing.
It was nothing.”

     But it was.

     Putting the
car in reverse, I backed out of the parking lot and drove through the gates.
“Let’s get on the road.”