In Another Life (15 page)

Marie looked around the apartment she had once called home. It was such a small space. There was one main room which housed the kitchenette, sofa and television. Beyond that were two doors. One led to a minute bathroom, the other to a bedroom which could barely contain the double bed which was within it.

“Its…small,” Marie concluded as she hobbled over to the sofa, her legs aching and struggling to maintain her weight. The building she lived in didn’t have a lift so they’d had to climb three flights of stairs which had taken them almost an hour. Her body verged on exhaustion as she flopped down on the grey two seater sofa and sighed.

“Property in London is expensive,” Sebastian explained, wandering over to the kitchenette with the intention of making them both a much needed cup of tea.

“You did well to get this place.”

“I did?” Marie wasn’t convinced. This apartment was miniscule, already she was feeling claustrophobic and she’d barely been there ten minutes.

“Yes, you did,” Sebastian smiled as he flicked on the pink kettle on the side.

Glancing round Marie saw that the pink which themed her bedroom back in Manchester was prominent here too. The cushions on the sofa were pink and boasted positive messages like ‘live, laugh love’ and ‘friends are the family you choose.’

On the walls were canvas prints of ballerinas against pink backgrounds. There was a pink gerbera in a glass vase on a window sill and the kitchen contained numerous accessories, all pink.

“I like pink,” Marie concluded. She didn’t loathe the shade. It was actually nice to inject some colour in to the living space. On their drive in to London she had been struck by how dull and devoid of colour the city was. From the pavements to the buildings which stretched up from them, everything was grey and dull. Even the sky which hung over head was ashen and devoid of any vibrancy. It all felt incredibly oppressive, as if Marie was drowning in an ocean of darkness, unable to find any light to cling on to.

But here in her apartment there was pink and it was better than nothing. Leaning back on the sofa she thought as she so often did of Azriel. The colours there were glorious. She ran her hand down her dark denim skinny jeans, imagining the sumptuous gown she had once worn, how it had sparkled and shimmered in the light.

“You look relaxed,” Sebastian noted as he handed her a fresh cup of tea.

“Mmm,” Marie made a non-committal sound and accepted the cup from him. Glancing round she continued to try and familiarise herself with the space around her.

“Did you live here too?” she asked innocently. “There is such a lot of pink.”

“No,” Sebastian looked sadly in to his cup. He had hoped that being in the apartment would ignite some of Marie’s memories yet she continued to seem oblivious about the life she had led prior to the crash. He kept reminded himself that she just needed time. The healing process was a long one and physically she’d made great progress, her mind would catch up soon enough.

“I lived in my own apartment in Kensington,” he explained.

“Oh,” Marie nodded. “How come?”

Sebastian ran his free hand down his stubble covered cheeks and smiled wryly to himself.

“Because you are stubborn,” he concluded, looking fondly at Marie. “I kept insisting that we live together in my apartment but you wouldn’t have it. You were resolute that you were going to live in your own place and pay your own way.”

“Is your apartment small too?” Marie considered that two people occupying such a compact space would be unbearable and understood her previous reluctant to co-habit with him.

“No,” Sebastian shook his head. “My apartment has three stories, a balcony and a rooftop terrace.”

“Oh,” Marie’s eyes widened with surprise as she blew in to her cup, making the liquid inside it cool slightly.

“I come from money,” Sebastian quickly explained. “I have always had money, been well off. I went to private schools; my family own a couple of yachts. But you always refused to accept any of it. You wanted to be equals in the relationship.”

“That sounds reasonable.”

But Marie had a castle, and a royal title. Surely that trumped his three storey apartment and any number of yachts?

“Does this,” Sebastian gestured to the room around them. “Does it trigger any memories at all?”

“I don’t,” Marie wasn’t sure how to explain how she felt. She’d been to the apartment before, she sensed that. But the live she’d led there no longer felt like her own. It was as if her time before the crash existed now only as a dream in her mind and struggled to remember details, it all felt hazy and misplaced.

“I don’t remember specific things,” she explained. “But I know I’ve been here. When you talk of your own apartment, I have an image of a grand place full of pristine white walls and black leather furniture.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Sebastian smiled, hope dancing up his spine and pinching at his heart as he dared to believe that Marie was finally returning to her old self.

“I can take you there,” he quickly offered, “if you think it will help your memories some more.”

“I don’t fancy braving those stairs for a few days,” Marie admitted, wincing slightly and rubbing her sore legs. Her bones had knitted together but the wounds were still sore. The crutches helped as she still struggled to walk unaided.

Time. All the doctors kept telling her that she just needed time when time was what she didn’t have. The more time spent here the more Azriel faded away.

Marie pinched her eyes shut and rubbed at her temple. Thinking of Azriel was starting to hurt as it consumed her with guilt. She imaged the glittering city dissolving in to nothing, the emerald grass dying and turning to dust and the great golden castle getting carried away on the breeze.

“Are you okay, do you need to lie down?” Sebastian asked, leaning in with concern.

“Maybe,” Marie admitted wearily. “I just…” she looked in to his eyes. He appeared so weary. His eyes didn’t sparkle like Orion’s. They were dull and lack lustre. Hours spent worrying rather than sleeping had robbed them of their previous sheen.

“I don’t belong here,” Marie stated lamely. She wished she could explain more but no one would understand about Azriel, how could they?

“Would you rather be back in Manchester?”

“No,” Marie shook her head, the gesture causing her neck to ache. Her body was still so brittle.

“I don’t belong there either,” she deduced sadly.

“Why don’t you lie down for a bit?” Sebastian suggested, helping her to her feet. “A rest might do you good. You might wake up refreshed.”

Marie smiled thinly. Lately each time she closed her eyes she was greeted by only darkness. She’d not returned to Azriel for quite some time. Had her world already disappeared? The thought made her feel nauseous. Marie leaned forward and spluttered uneasily.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sebastian held her in his strong arms and positioned her so she was upright. He lowered himself to her eye level and tenderly stroked her cheek.

Marie looked at him and saw the handsome, boyish smile he so rarely wore in her presence and felt a deep pang gnaw within her. She’d loved this man once, she knew it. Her heart pulled her towards him, remembering what had once existed between them. There were shadows beneath his eyes but they didn’t deter from his handsomeness. She opened her mouth to speak when something glittered just beyond her peripheral vision, causing her to quickly turn her head.

The last time she’d seen something sparkle in the corner of her eye it had been either the glint of Orion’s golden eyes. Heart pounding Marie searched the room for him but there was nothing there.

Slowly, she looked back at Sebastian but she suddenly felt uneasy, as though they were being watched.

“I need to lie down,” she sighed.

“Okay,” Sebastian looped his lean muscular arm beneath her and carefully guided her the short distance to the bedroom.

The small room was another ode to the colour pink. The bedding was pink, emblazoned with white butterflies which seemed to dance across the fabric. The lampshade on the ceiling bore a matching design and there was a photograph of Marie and Sebastian on the wall, held within a bright pink frame.

“I’m starting to get sick of pink,” she admitted as she lay down in the bed as Sebastian drew back the duvet for her.

“Me too,” he smiled. “But you always used to love it. You said that pink was the colour of romance and so you wanted to surround yourself with it.”

“I sound crazy,” Marie laughed.

“Yeah, but the good kind of crazy,” Sebastian leaned down and kissed Marie’s forehead. He paused briefly before standing back up as his own memories began to engulf him.

This was the bed where they’d first made love. It was after their sixth date when they’d gone to the theatre to watch a terrible play which seemed never ending. Eventually when they walked back Sebastian had been prepared to head home when Marie suddenly asked if he’d like a cup of tea, her eyes sparkling flirtatiously.

Sebastian’s heart leapt with nervous anticipation as they ascended the triple flight of stairs within the building hand in hand. In her apartment for the first time he’d been overwhelmed by the presence of pink, but when Marie explained why she loved it so it only served to further endear her to him.

So many people had lost their sense of wonder to cynicism but not Marie. To her, the world was still a place bursting with possibilities. Sebastian wanted her outlook to rub off on him so that he too could have a renewed, optimistic outlook.

No tea had been made that night. Stood by her sofa they didn’t even get the chance to sit down. Sebastian had started kissing her; deep passionate kisses which made his knees weaken. They’d parted, just briefly, and in that moment Marie took him by the hand and led him to her bedroom. No words needed to be exchanged; they both instinctively knew what they wanted to happen.

On the bed by which he now stood Sebastian had made love to Marie for the first time and his whole world had changed.

“Are you okay?” it was Marie’s turn to look up at him with concern as her eyelids began to feel weighted. She fought to remain awake.

“Yeah,” Sebastian shook his head, sending the remnants of the memory in to the ether. That night had been magical. He looked sadly at Marie, surely they could bring that magic back?

“I was just remembering our first night here,” he admitted, hoping that something might stir in Marie and she’d turn and look at him, smiling flirtatiously and declare that of course she remembered that night, how could she possibly forget?

Instead his fiancée looked at him blankly.

“Was it a good night?” she asked, opening her mouth as if to roar like a lion but instead she yawned.

“It was the best night,” Sebastian smiled sadly. “I hope you remember it someday.”

“Mmm,” Marie murmured, already drifting off to sleep, unable to fight her fatigue anymore.

Sebastian loitered by the bed for a moment, listening as her breathing deepened. The wonder of that first night still hung in the air around him. His adult life had been defined by that night. Marie had shown him the limitless potential of true love. She’d placed a spell upon him which had yet to be broken. She made his life wonderful. He owed it to her to wait around until she returned to who she had once been. He owed her everything. There was no way he was going anywhere, even if it took years, even if she never came back to him truly, he’d be there, by her side, waiting.

*

Amanda Pickens tightened the designer trench coat she was wearing around herself as she hurriedly ascended the steps which led her out of the underground and up on to the street. Cold air bit hungrily at any exposed skin as she took a moment to familiarise herself with her surroundings. She was in a part of the city which she wasn’t accustomed to visiting. She was there on a humanitarian errand, at least that’s what she told herself.