In Between Dreams (24 page)

Sam nodded, and Bailey caught Daniel midpace. He tried to shrug her off again, but she only held his arm tighter. “Come with me,” she demanded, gripping his fingers. “Now.”

Daniel followed her unwillingly into the one and only bedroom in the small apartment. Bailey shut the door behind them. “Can you chill out?”

“Oh, rack off, Bailey. I’m not going to let you go in there.”

“Daniel,” Bailey said as calmly as she could manage. “We don’t even know where ‘there’ is. You wouldn’t even let Hui explain. What is it going to take to get my rational Daniel back?”

“You just don’t get it,” Daniel growled. He avoided Bailey’s eye contact like she was Medusa.

Bailey put her hands on his arms. “Daniel. Relax for a second. Breathe.” Daniel clenched his jaw. “No. Don’t do that. Breathe.”

Daniel let out a breath, exhaling on her face. She scrunched her nose. “Not on me.” She laughed lightly.

“It’s too dangerous,” he said, raising his eyebrow at her. He was calmer but still had concern plaguing his face. His eyes met hers. “They’ve already seen you. If something goes wrong and you see one of them…you’ll be gone. I can’t…I’m not going to let that happen.”

Bailey furrowed her eyebrows. “I thought it was just a dream, Daniel. Isn’t that what you told Hui?” She couldn’t resist throwing the words back in his face.

Daniel pursed his lips and broke eye contact, Bailey moved her hands to his cheeks. “Daniel. Look at me.”

“What?” His voice was bitter.

Bailey’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you being like this?” she asked softly. “You’re making Hui uncomfortable. He’s helping us. You can’t come at him like that.”

Daniel’s face seemed to be warming to her, but his eyes were still icy. “I really don’t like our options here. I’m going to be honest with you. I’m not going to relax, because we’re getting fucked,” he whispered hoarsely.

“We need Halene,” Bailey retorted. “You need to call her; she’ll know what to do. She always does.”

Daniel looked back and forth between her eyes, as if he was searching for something only they could answer. He straightened his back, clenched his jaw, and narrowed his eyes. “No. You need to go home.”

“Excuse me?” She broke all contact with him, backing away.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re no help.”

“Wha—”

“You’re the comfort. Mei isn’t here. I’m not going to sit here and argue with you.” He turned away from her. He looked down and at the ground with his hand over his mouth. His eyes darted around the room. His thoughts seemed so tangible Bailey felt like she could almost see them.

“Daniel, what are you talking about?” Bailey bellowed, frustration and anger apparent in her voice. She wanted Daniel to
know
he was not going to boss her around.

Daniel turned around and put his arms up to hug her, and she took the small step forward to wrap her arms around him. His arm reached up to her neck. Before she had a chance to react, he was choking her. She gasped for breath to no avail. She clawed his shoulder and looked at his face. He was looking down at the ground, his face red and jaw clenched.

“Dan—”

Bailey woke up gasping for air in her bed in Seattle. Her gasp was loud and inhuman. Tears fell from her eyes immediately, and she sobbed into her hands. Her emotions were overwhelming. Did Daniel try to kill her?

She put her arms around her throat to feel for Daniel’s clenched hand on her throat. She took a couple breaths and said in between sobs, “It was just a dream. Just a dream.” Her mantra. The only one that would get her through moments like these.

seventeen.

“I
don’t know, Mom,” Bailey said into her phone. “I feel strange.”

“Maybe you’re sick, sweetie,” Ann said sweetly. Bailey was always Ann’s biggest concern; she was always there for her no matter what.

“I don’t think that’s it. I can’t get out of my own head.” Bailey held her phone between her shoulder and ear as she walked out of her house. She had her brown satchel on over her dress. “I haven’t been able to sleep,” Bailey told her honestly. “I seriously feel like I’m living a half life,” Bailey whined. “I woke up from my sleep attack four hours ago, and I still feel disoriented.”

Bailey’s mom sighed sympathetically. “I know it’s hard, sweetie. You’ve got to keep on going. Maybe the fresh air will help you feel better.” Ann knew that the fresh air wouldn’t help her, but she also knew that Bailey had to keep going. That was the only way to help her out of her current funk.

“You’re probably right,” Bailey said, walking out from her apartment to her car. “I’m going on a coffee run before I turn in my final draft on that investigative report I’ve been working on.”

“I can’t wait to read it,” Ann said sincerely. “Okay, sweetie. I’m going into a meeting. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Talk to you later.” Bailey always felt grounded after having a conversation with Ann. Even when the dream memories lingered, Ann was able to encourage her to walk through her melancholia.

Bailey hopped into her Jetta and plugged in her MP3 player. She turned it to Fleetwood Mac’s
Rumours
album and headed down to her regular coffee shop.

“Been down one time,”
Bailey sang along with the music that filled her car.
“Been down two times. I’m never going back again…”

Bailey pulled into the Seattle’s Best and parked in the closest spot she could find to the storefront. She walked in, her eyes drooping, instinctively looking at the menu behind the counter. She kept her eyes trained on the menu as if she didn’t know what she was going to get.

She got in line behind a couple people and yawned. She needed a coffee boost, and quick.

“Bailey Regan?” Her head perked up at hearing her name from a strangely familiar voice.

She tilted her head at a quizzical angle at the person working behind the counter. She was struck with confusion and disbelief, and it was apparent on her face. Her jaw dropped, and her eyes filled with unintentional tears. “Sam?” The question came out like a whisper. “Sam Morris?”

The man in front of her held a striking resemblance to the Sam she knew from her dreams. They shared the same eyes, the same face, a similar height. It
was
the Sam she saw frequently in her dreams, yet it wasn’t. His hair wasn’t in his eyes, and he had stronger arms and a chiseled face. His stance, though similar to the Sam in her dreams, was more confident. He stood straight up, no slouching.

Bailey closed her eyes tightly while shaking her head. She partially expected Sam to be gone when she opened her eyes. She opened them slowly, and stared at the blond man behind the counter that she was very familiar with. Sam let out a shocked half laugh. Both of them stood motionless, staring at each other, both baffled in the surreal moment.

“You’re Bailey, right? Sorry, I’m a little shaken.” Sam was clearly as stunned as Bailey. They were both unsure of what to do next. Bailey nodded.

“And you’re Sam?” she said almost sarcastically. It couldn’t be the same guy. Could it? And how did
he
know
her
? Was he not a figment of her imagination?

“I am,” he said, a partial smile appeared on his face. He looked her up and down, drinking her in. “Your hair.” Sam pointed toward her long locks, for lack of what else to say.

She reached and felt the tips of her hair, playing with it nervously. “Yeah, it’s…long.”

A not-so-subtle cough came from a fortysomething business type dressed in a suit who was clearly not interested in the reunion. Bailey glanced at him as he impatiently checked his expensive watch.

Sam noticed the customer and looked behind him at the clock on the wall. “I get off in an hour—can you come back?”

Bailey agreed with a slight nod, her mind racing. “Gotta get a coffee first.” She let out a constrained laugh. Sam nodded, looked at the cash register as she ordered a white chocolate mocha with no whip cream as if it were any other day. But it wasn’t any other day.

Bailey knew at some level today was the beginning of a course change in her life. She began to justify and rationalize Sam’s appearance. Maybe she had seen him before and her subconscious had put him in the dreams. But that didn’t account for the fact that they knew each other. She was getting sick to her stomach thinking about the meeting. Had she lost a period of her life? Was she going insane?

That was Sam, right? Dream Sam? What the hell is going on?

The reality was that she had seen Sam Morris. And he recognized her. Sam who was in her dreams for almost a decade, and she had been with him four hours prior in China. The sickness in her stomach began to increase.

“Bailey,” Sam called from the counter. Her name sounded right coming from his mouth. Like a habit, like he’d said it a thousand times, and maybe he had.

She walked over and grabbed the cup from him. The nausea she felt from the encounter wasn’t due to the fact that she didn’t like seeing him. As she looked at him again, she realized she was almost grateful to see him. But she was abashed by the whole situation, leaving her feeling unsettled, to say the least.

“I put my number on the cup,” he told her sheepishly. “In case you can’t make it back.”

“I’ll be here,” Bailey promised. “I swear.”

Bailey felt like she was jumping out of her skin as she walked back to her car. She was no longer drowsy. Seeing him gave her all the energy she needed. Bailey’s head swam in bewilderment. The feeling was overwhelming.

The nausea in her stomach had morphed to butterflies with razor blades for wings. Bailey rubbed her lips together nervously as she drove to the office. She played
Dreams
on repeat on her MP3 player as she made her way there. It was all so overwhelming. She partially wondered if she was dreaming now.

No, my dreams have never taken place in Seattle
, she thought. It was all so jarring that she felt like she was outside of herself.

The drive from the coffee shop to her office was only fifteen minutes. Her anxiety made the trip feel much longer. With each stoplight, she felt as if she might jump out of her skin in anticipation. She wanted to hear what Seattle Sam had to say. Was he, in fact, the same person she knew from her dreams?

She remembered the first time she had met him. Sam. They were in New Mexico, dealing with a Hispanic family, and Rodney said they needed a translator. Within a couple hours, Sam was at the door. She was about sixteen, and he couldn’t have been much older. He had a confidence to him; she remembered it because it wasn’t common after that first mission.

He stood up to Daniel, he said what he believed, and he thought that’s what people should do when it was necessary. He was great. The next time she saw him, however, he was downtrodden. Almost annoyed. He slumped in his chair when others weren’t around. He sighed long, irritated sighs. He let Daniel walk all over him and didn’t fuss when Rodney would raise his voice. Something in him changed. He was still an asset to the group. He brought something no one else could: he was the translator. He understood languages and cultures no one else did.

With each turn, Bailey became more and more anxious. She didn’t know what to expect.

Once she got to her office building, she went straight to Sierra’s floor and turned in the hard copy of her article into Sierra’s assistant; she
didn’t want to get roped into sticking around the office. She wanted to call Jason or her mom and tell them what had happened but she thought they might have her placed in a mental institution. Bailey wanted to tell someone Sam was real.
Yes
, the Sam from her dreams. The translator was making coffee at Seattle’s Best. She decided to hold off until she had the chance to talk it out with the Seattle Sam.

She differentiated the two in her head, like she did with herself. There was Dream Bailey. She was the comfort. She was the healthy, tan girl who had two boys fighting over her. Dream Sam, the translator had been her personal comfort.

Then there was Seattle Bailey. Who was the sickly, skinny, pale Bailey that wrote for the
Seattle Times
? Seattle Sam worked at her favorite coffee shop, yet somehow they had never run into each other. Seattle Sam’s hair wasn’t in his eyes, and his face lit up when he saw Seattle Bailey.

As she drove back to the coffee shop, Rodney popped into her head. Rodney. The man she only knew in her dreams. The man who disappeared without warning, a man she believed her subconscious had created. A glimmer of hope arose in her. If Sam was real, if Seattle Sam was the same Sam she knew from her dreams, then was there a Rodney out there somewhere? Was there a Seattle Rodney? Or an Anywhere Rodney?

If Sam was real and she found him, could she find Rodney, too? Her heart almost fluttered. She knew she was getting ahead of herself. There was still so much perplexity that centered around it. Her entire life seemed to be unraveling. Nothing felt real.

As she drove back to the coffee shop on autopilot, she thought of Rodney. A memory flashed before her eyes like it was yesterday.

The summer sun pounded on Bailey so intensely she was sweating, even in the shade. She leaned on a tree at Central Park watching Daniel and Sam speak to a young girl about their new mission. Rodney walked up to Bailey and pulled off his hat. He wiped the sweat from his brow with his forehead and exhaled slowly.

“It’s miserable,” Bailey moaned.

“New York City in August,” Rodney said with irony in his voice. “We could be anywhere in the world, but we’re in New York City in hotter-than-hell August.”

“Where would you rather be?” Bailey asked with a light smile.

“London,” Rodney offered. “I wouldn’t mind the rain.”

“It could be worse. We could be in the south,” Bailey offered. She pulled her hair up and wiped the sweat from her neck before dropping it back down. Rodney watched Sam and Daniel adamantly as Bailey watched him. She wondered what went on in his mind, how he was able to figure out what to do next. He was the brains behind every operation.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a man walking toward her. She looked over lazily to see if she was his destination or if he was simply passing by. The stare from his eyes was frightening. He was short and had large muscles that were very visible under his V-neck. As soon as Bailey’s eyes met the man’s, he broke into a sprint toward her. He had something in his hand. Bailey couldn’t see it well, but it glimmered in the sun.