In Dreams (11 page)

For once since the craziness started, she began to understand. “Why can’t I remember?” She clarified, “Our other lives, I mean.”

“It doesn’t work like that while you’re still living. Otherwise, we’d all be too wrapped up in the memories of the past to live in the present. That’s what I meant about messing up your path.”

“But you remember?”

“I remember everything. I can see all we’ve shared even though you can’t. How could anyone, living or otherwise, expect me to stay away from you with that knowledge? I’m not that strong.”

“What do I tell Taylor?”

“Remind her that I had no self-control for the things I loved when I was alive, and tell her I’m still the same way. She’ll get a kick out of that.” He laughed and it made Katherine smile.

She heard what he said about love, and couldn’t resist the urge to ask, “You love me?”

“I don’t know how not to.” He kissed her and she struggled to breathe.

Chapter Eight

Katherine opened her eyes and looked over at Taylor, who was still sleeping. She sat in bed and replayed everything Austen had just told her.

“So did you see him last night?” Taylor’s voice interrupted her retrospection.

“Yes.” Katherine only wanted to give Taylor information if she asked for it. She didn’t want to confuse or hurt her any more than was necessary.

“Well? Did he say anything?”

“He wanted me to tell you he was sorry for all of this and that you know he doesn’t have any self-control when it comes to the things he loves.”

Taylor smiled through her falling tears. “What did he mean by that?” Katherine asked her.

“When Austen loved something he had to have it. He fell in love with this puppy one day walking past the grocery store and even though we couldn’t afford to have a dog, Austen got him anyway.”

“Brody?” Katherine wondered.

“Yeah? How’d you…oh wait, is Brody there too?” Taylor’s eyes opened widely.

“He’s usually with your brother. I love that dog,” Katherine smiled.

“Well that makes me happy. You know, that they’re together. Brody died right after Austen did and I always hoped they had each other.”

Katherine nodded and smiled softly.

“So anyway, he had to have the dog. But he paid for everything himself. And he had to make the varsity wrestling team, even though they said he’d never make weight. And when he decided that he liked Kylie, he had to have her too.”

Katherine’s face dropped…followed closely by her stomach. “Even though she was dating someone else at the time. He just wanted what he wanted. Not in a selfish, screw you, kind of way. It’s just that Austen always felt things deeper than other people. He didn’t see the sense in letting the things he wanted get away from him. You know what I mean?”

“Austen and Kylie?” Katherine choked on the words. She grabbed at her stomach and tightly closed her eyes. “No wonder there’s always been that weirdness between us.”

“You didn’t know?” Taylor sounded surprised.

“I had no idea. I mean, I never even thought about it, but of course he would have had a girlfriend.”

“Yeah. That’s how I met Kylie. She bugged me a lot at first. But after Austen died, we got really close.”

“Were there any other girls?” Katherine needed to be mentally prepared in case they ran into any of Austen’s exes while they were in town.

“No, it was just Kylie. They dated for almost two years, I think.”

“Were they together when he had his accident?”

“No. They had already broken up. But it hadn’t been long. Kylie was an absolute wreck,” Taylor shuddered.

Jealousy consumed Katherine’s body and mind. She was so envious that Kylie got to kiss Austen, hold his hand and be loved by him. Thoughts of them together made Katherine want to throw up. No matter how hard she tried to rid the made up images of Kylie and Austen from her imagination, they refused to leave. She was thankful when her cell phone beeped, quickly followed by Taylor’s.

“Text from Cooper,” Katherine said out loud.

“Kylie,” Taylor commented. “What did Cooper say?”

“Hope you’re having a great time at Tay’s. I miss you and can’t wait to see you.” Katherine placed the phone at her side.

“You’re not going to text him back?” Taylor asked as she typed out a response to Kylie.

“I can’t right now. I don’t even know what to say without feeling like I’m lying.”

“What are you talking about? Just write back and tell him you miss him too and you’ll talk to him later. Simple as that.”

“I don’t know if I miss him or not. I don’t want to write something I don’t mean,” Katherine buried her head into her hands.

“Of course you miss him, Kat. Your emotions are just all over the place right now.”

“I hope you’re right,” she admitted. “So, what did Kylie say?”

“She knows we’re in town and she wants to stop by. I can’t tell her ‘no.’”

“Of course not. Are we telling her? She knows about the dream guy, remember? What if she asks?” Katherine didn’t want to see Kylie, but knew it was unavoidable.

“Hopefully she won’t even remember. But Kat, she never got over my brother so I don’t think telling her this stuff would be a good idea,” Taylor warned. “I’m not sure how she’d react and I think it would hurt her more than anything else.”

“I don’t want that.” Even though it pained Katherine to think about Austen and Kylie together, she didn’t want to hurt her.

Taylor looked over at Katherine and said, “I want you to know that I really loved my brother, Katherine. He was a great guy and I honestly wish you two could have met. You would have loved him.”

Taylor stifled a small laugh before she continued, “He was my best friend. It was the worst thing in my world to lose him. I just want you to know that it gives me comfort to know that he’s still around.”

Taylor’s words made Katherine smile. “Thank you so much. I’ve been so worried you wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m not sure I do, but I’m too hungry to try to figure it out right now,” Taylor rubbed her belly. “Don’t say anything to my family, okay?”

“Oh my gosh, Taylor, I would never. But hey, are we okay? I mean, me and you?” Katherine wanted to make sure that Taylor wasn’t holding anything back.

Taylor walked over to Katherine and gave her a hug before she said, “This is really weird and it’s a lot to take in. I know that maybe I should be more weirded out, right? Like maybe I should be completely freaking out or something? But I honestly just don’t feel that way. The truth is, for whatever reason, I’m kind of happy my brother talks to you.”

Katherine let out a huge sigh of relief as her shoulders relaxed, “Thank you.”

The girls smiled at each other with watery eyes. Katherine took one last glance at the picture of Taylor and Austen on the beach and headed out of the bedroom.

The girls showered and ate. They made small talk with Taylor’s parents before they walked outside to feed the horses. Taylor showed Katherine how much food to give them and how to attach the buckets to the stall. She did some light cleaning in the barn and stopped by the poker room to give her brother a hug.

“God, Matty, don’t you ever go home?” Taylor teased him.

“I only go home when you’re not around. Where’s my hug?” Matty stood up with open arms and Taylor leaped into them.

“I’d treat you like crap if I didn’t love you so much.” Taylor planted a big wet kiss on his cheek and Matty pretended to faint while he clutched at his chest.

“I know you have some new hockey stud boyfriend, but he’s got nothing on me. One day, Taylor Dailey, you’ll be mine and you know it.” She lifted her eyebrows and gave him a smirk before she walked out.

“It is so funny how much that kid loves you,” Katherine said with a laugh.

“I know. He always has. Not for nothing, but isn’t he adorable? Those dimples…oh, they kill me every time!”

“Oh my God! You totally love him! You’re going to ditch Danny and start dating a high school boy,” Katherine teased, and poked Taylor in the arm.

“Well at least
he’s
alive.” The moment the words escaped Taylor’s mouth, Katherine’s face dropped and her legs stopped moving. “Oh my God, Katherine, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

Katherine looked at her with hurt in her eyes. She wondered how Taylor could even think something so cruel, let alone say it out loud. But then logic seeped in and Katherine begrudgingly admitted, “It’s okay. I mean, you’re right. That just hurt.”

“I know. I don’t know what got into me. He’s my brother...I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Shouldn’t have said what?” Kylie’s snarky tone congested the air.

“Hey, Kyles! Nothing, we were just talking about Blake and Matty.” Taylor shot Katherine a look and then gave Kylie a quick squeeze.

Katherine hesitated and then did the same, “It’s good to see you again.”

Jealousy permeated throughout Katherine’s body as she tried her best to be polite and kind. Her stomach flipped and twisted as she fought off the urge to ask Kylie everything she knew about Austen. She wanted to know what it was like to date him. How it felt to be loved by him. How he treated her. Was he funny? Did he make her laugh? There were parts of her that wanted every tasty morsel of information she could consume.

The three meandered toward the overstuffed patio furniture and sat down. “So girls, what’s been going on? Fill me in on everything.” Kylie eyed Katherine, “You still dating that super-hot guy? What was his name? Colton? Colby? Something?”

“Cooper,” Katherine snickered.

“Yeah, Cooper. So you two still together or what?” Kylie feigned interest.

“We’re still together,” Katherine’s tone hitched.

“What’s wrong? Trouble in paradise?” Kylie’s asked smugly.

“No. It’s just complicated is all,” Taylor shot a look of death at Katherine and kicked her swiftly under the table.

“They’re fine, Kylie. Katherine’s just a mental case because her boyfriend is royalty.” Taylor attempted to change the subject.

“Maybe he should be dating a girl who can handle that sort of thing,” Kylie arched her brows. “I’ll take him off your hands, Kat, if he’s too much for you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.” Katherine knew Kylie wasn’t entirely joking.

“What about you, Tay?” Kylie turned to look at her. She forced a sweet smile before she asked, “Everything good with Danny?”

“No complaints,” Taylor glared.

“Oh Taylor, tell her what Danny did.” Katherine longed to shift the focus of Kylie’s questions away from herself.

Taylor’s face instantly turned two shades pinker. “Well, my crazy boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time ever. Not only did he tell me loved me, but he screamed it…out loud…in a parking lot filled with people!”

Kylie’s mouth fell open as Taylor continued, “I was so embarrassed.”

“I would be horrified if any guy ever did that to me,” Kylie snapped in disapproval.

“You know what though? It was sweet. And romantic,” Taylor grinned, “So what about you, Kylie? Any guys in your life?”

“Oh you know, the usual. I meet a lot of guys at work, but I can’t get the ones I don’t want anymore to go away.” She rolled her eyes and then breathed in quickly, “That’s what I was going to ask you. I almost forgot. What ever happened to that dream guy? Did he ever come back?”

Katherine almost threw up and Taylor’s face turned white, “Nope. He’s just gone,” Taylor tried to convince her.

“You’re lying,” Kylie called her on it. “I might have believed you if her face didn’t give it away.” She glared at Kat with disgust.

“No, really,” Kat shook her head, “he hasn’t come back.”

“I don’t even know you that well and I know you’re completely full of it.”

Katherine glanced at Taylor for approval and she softly nodded her head.

“Okay. He’s been back. A few times,” Katherine admitted.

“Really? And it’s the same guy every time?” Kylie asked, intrigued.

“Yep, same guy.”

“Do you know who he is yet? I mean, is he real?”

“I have no idea,” Katherine attempted to lie again.

Kylie squinted, “You’re a terrible liar, Kat.” Kylie’s eyes darted between the two girls. “What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”

Taylor rubbed at her eyes and then stared at Kylie. “Just keep an open mind, okay?”

Kylie responded with attitude. “Whatever. What is it?”

Katherine was so scared for Kylie’s reaction that she stood up and started to pace back and forth. She assumed Kylie would be incredibly angry, would most likely hate her and probably want to fight her. Kat wasn’t a fighter, so she hoped it didn’t come to that.

“Why are you pacing? Sit down.” Kylie barked at Kat. “Which one of you is going to tell me what the hell is going on?” She folded her arms across her chest and tapped her foot against the deck.

Katherine shook her head ‘no’ and watched as Taylor took a deep breath. “We figured out who Kat’s dream guy is.”

“I gathered that much.” Kylie grumbled, “So, why all the drama? Who is it?”

“Austen,” was all Taylor said.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Kylie asked through clenched teeth.

“It’s Austen, Kyles. He’s the one from her dreams.”

“Are you joking? This is a joke right?” Kylie glowered at Katherine and screamed, “He didn’t even know you! Why the hell would you dream about my boyfriend?” Her face reddened as she continued to yell, “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true,” Katherine added. “Kylie, please calm down.”

“Don’t,” Kylie whipped her head and narrowed her eyes. “Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”

“Kylie, don’t be like that. It’s not her fault. She had no idea who he was until last night,” Taylor explained.

“What happened last night? How do you even know it’s him? How do you know she’s not lying, Taylor?”

“She recognized him from a picture in my bedroom. And why would she lie about this?”

Kylie’s face twisted in anguish as she wailed, “He was
my
boyfriend. Not yours! He didn’t love you, he didn’t even know you!” Her eyes tightened with confusion. “Why wouldn’t he come to me?”

“I don’t know,” Katherine avoided eye contact.

“You’re lying! You do know! Tell me!” Kylie shouted. Talking about Austen like this was too much for her. The pain was too real and the emotions were still raw. To have him come up this way was like ripping a blood-soaked bandage off a two-year-old wound to find it had barely begun to heal.