In Her Secret Fantasy (10 page)

“Chrissy,” he said against her lips. “Tell me… Am I your aversion therapy?”

“I’m not averse to you,” she said shakily, and took back his mouth. He gave it with enthusiasm until the kiss reached a natural break.

“Then, would you like,” he murmured, “to make love with me?”

She gasped. Her fingers grasped the back of his head, and she buried her face in his throat. It struck her that no words had ever sounded so beautiful.

“I’m a mess,” she whispered.

“No, you’re not. You’re the most together person I know. Underneath the mess. Anyway, I like the mess. We have a fellow feeling for each other.”

She choked a laugh into his throat, then brushed her lips against his skin. “Two days ago, you rejected me.”

“I don’t want you from anger. Though if you make me wait long enough, I might be reduced to grabbing even that.”

She raised her head to look into his face. The cold—and perhaps lust—had tinged his cheeks with a ruddy glow. His lips, well kissed, were the most sensual things she’d ever seen. He was sexy, beautiful and all hard, physical male. She melted with lust, trembled with it while he made jokes.

“Are you serious?” she blurted. “That is, not do you want to marry me, just…do you
mean
it?”

He took her face between his hands. “That I want you?” he breathed. “Fuck, yes.” And he took her mouth again with clear intent, a harder, overtly sexual kiss that devastated her from head to her toe. His tongue thrust into her mouth and swirled, left her panting for more. “From the moment I saw you. Every time you look at me or speak to me. Even while you’re shouting at me or hating me. Especially when your eyes laugh. And most especially when you kiss me like
that
.”

Enchanted, she kissed him some more, until he dragged his mouth free and hugged her close.

“So, here’s my plan,” he said into her hair. “In twenty minutes or so, we’ll be close enough to the seal island. We can drop anchor and see if the seals come over for a look. And while we’re waiting, we could go to the cabin below, where there’s a warm and not uncomfortable bed. I could make love to you there. If you want it. I want it so much it’s killing me, but if you don’t, that’s all right too. We can wait, or not bother—your call, Chrissy. Always yours.”

She swallowed, hard. Although his delicacy warmed her, she didn’t want to wait even the twenty minutes he was offering her to be sure. She wanted to be swept away by the immediate urgency of his kisses and her own lust.

“It’s a good plan,” she whispered. “But it could be better.” She pulled back, rising to her feet, drawing him with her. Her hands shook.

His eyes darkened, anxiety warring with naked lust. “Chrissy—”

“Please.”

His Adam’s apple wobbled, then, with a jerk, he leaned over and pulled something, and she heard the clattering of a chain. Dropping the anchor. Triumph soared along with massive excitement and something that felt a little like fear. She tugged him towards the cabin entrance. He paused, yanking on a rope that drew in the sail, then opened the door and led her through.

Chapter Nine There was a short ladder leading down to the cabin. Before she reached the third step, he seized her by the waist and lifted her, as if he couldn’t wait any longer. She fell against him, and his mouth was hot on hers, his hands pushing between them, dragging down the zip of her jacket. She shrugged it off. It landed on the floor at the same time as his, and he smiled against her lips.

“At last,” he murmured as she wound her arms around his neck. “I get to hold you without that damned coat on.” His hands swept over her back and shoulders and ran down her sides, over the curves of her breasts and waist to her hips, drawing her closer in to him. “Oh yes…”

She gasped as his erection pressed against her tummy, so big and thick, and he plundered her open mouth, still holding her hips, letting her feel the strength of his lust, giving her the time to get used to it. Although she loved his care of her, she wanted,
needed
more. It was she who swayed against him, stroking his erection with her body, standing on tiptoe, flinging one leg over his thigh to fit the hardness closer to her hot, aching core.

She tugged at the neck of his sweater, and obligingly, he broke the kiss to tear it off. Then, his breathing just a little ragged, he held her gaze while he slid his hands under her sweater, slowly lifting it as his palms caressed upward over her breasts. They paused, letting his fingers stroke the aching peaks of her nipples. She closed her eyes in bliss, and then his hands moved on, raising the sweater over her head.

Beneath it, she wore an old, comfortable top that clung to her rather more closely than was suitable for work. Work and life had merged so much in the last year that her old love of creative dressing had taken a backseat.

“Sorry,” she said shakily. “I didn’t dress for seduction.”

“Yes, you did,” he said breathlessly. In one sudden, almost shocking movement, he swept his own T-shirt up and off, dropping it on the ground.

God he was beautiful. Her whole body flamed as she stared at his broad shoulders and chest, downward over an impressive six pack and the paradise trail that led inexorably inside his low slung jeans. He reached for her once more, drawing her blatantly against his narrow hips while he kissed her lips and throat. She slipped her arms around his waist, loving the feel of his smooth, warm skin, the hardness of his lean, muscled frame.

Again, he lifted her in his arms and she swung two paces through the air before landing on her back on the softness of a quilt and mattress.

“You came prepared,” she whispered.

“I always make my bed. I never really imagined I’d get you to lie in it with me.”

Didn’t he know that women would scratch each other’s eyes out for the chance of going to bed with him?

“On the other hand,” he said, drawing something from his pocket. A condom. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Sex, sex, sex,” she murmured. It was meant to be mocking, but it sounded more like a plea.

“If you insist,” he returned, leaning over her.

Oh God, he’s really going to do it.
For the first time since he’d touched her, panic fought its way up through the delicious haze of desire. Not because his tender seduction felt anything like attack, not because she wanted him to stop, but because he’d be inside her, and she’d no idea how she’d react. She could spoil this before it was begun.

Maybe her sudden fear showed in her face. More likely, she was hurting his arm where her fingers dug into his flesh like pincers. Whatever, he paused, before slowly reaching up and detaching her hand, carrying it to his lips instead.

“Hey,” he said. “It’s no fun if don’t relax.”

She opened her mouth to retort something flippant that would probably see him off. Fortunately, she didn’t get the chance to say it, for his mouth came down on hers and his sheer tenderness enchanted her all over again. She kissed him back with lips that trembled with need. She stroked his face, his shoulders, his hot, naked back, which moved to her every caress.

He unbuttoned her top while he kissed her mouth. Then, as he laid her open for his gaze, spreading the top wide, he dragged his mouth down her throat to the swell of her breasts. Both hands slid under her back, unclipping her bra. She helped him pull it off since he’d gone very still, staring at her, his eyes darkening impossibly.

He wanted her. He really wanted her. He liked her breasts, thought she was beautiful… Pride soared as he slowly cupped one breast in his hand.

“You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen,” he said hoarsely.

“No, I’m not.”

A smile flickered over his lips. His hand moved, his thumb sweetly circling her nipple, then sweeping over it and gently pressing. “I’m afraid you have to let me be the judge of that.” And his head lowered to her other breast, kissing openmouthed, teasing, arousing—how could she be even more aroused than she’d been already?—before closing his lips on her nipple and softly sucking.

She arched upward, searching blindly for his body, his hips, his cock—
Oh fuck, can I really do this?
—and found his hand. Shock seemed to dissolve the fear, let the sheer sensual pleasure consume her. He kissed and caressed her breasts, and began, slowly, to move his hand at the juncture of her thighs, stroking, sliding between, sparking new urgency, new fierceness to her desire.

She reached for his jeans, discovering the long, hard shaft that strained against the fabric. His breath hissed against her breast and that felt wonderful too, egging her on to stroke him and then, slowly, teasingly, pull down the zip of his jeans.

As if she’d flipped a switch, he wriggled, shoving jeans and underpants off with one hand and his feet. His other hand remained beguilingly at her crotch, quite still while he wriggled out of his remaining clothes; and then it began to move again, circling, pressing, stroking in a spiral of pleasure that deepened and soared.

His breathtaking nakedness, the glimpse of his dark, upright cock and the responsive warmth of his body as she swept her hands down his back over the taut swell of his buttocks, all combined to undo her. His clever fingers rubbed the seam of her jeans against her clitoris. His tongue flickered over her nipple, and with a cry, she arched her hips, pushing into his wicked, beautiful hand, and fell into bliss.

She heard his breathless mutter. It sounded like, “Christ, you’re beautiful,” which was a sweet fantasy, but not quite as wonderful as what was tearing her apart. He moved, covering her mouth with his, and she’d never been so happy in her life.

By the time she came down enough to be aware of what was happening in the real world, her jeans were unzipped and halfway down her hips. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to lift her bottom and help him. His hot, clouded eyes, his unsteady hands were everywhere, and in a rush, the heady satisfaction of sex morphed into a fresh surge of lust, all tangled with a need to give back, to make him as happy as he’d made her.

Holding him by the shoulders, she pushed. He might still have been ultra aware of her past, of the possibility of her backing out even at this stage. He certainly rolled onto his back rather more easily than she’d expected, but taking advantage, she rolled with him, throwing her leg over his thighs and rearing up to straddle him. She took the bone-hard shaft of his cock in her hand, and he groaned. It sounded like agony, but the almost helpless upward thrust of his hips told her otherwise. A sound she’d never heard from herself before, a sort of throaty growl, vibrated inside her as she drew back his foreskin and stroked him. She rose to her knees, reached impatiently for the torn-open foil packet lying on the pillow and while he watched her with hot, predatory eyes, she rolled the condom on. He was breathing like a steam engine as she positioned the blunt head unerringly and pushed down on him.

She was so wet he slid in easily, big, shocking, making her gasp as he stretched her. But his long, blissful groan was music to her ears, and when he took hold of her hips and pushed upward, all the way in, her muscles clenched not in resistance but in need.

“This,” he whispered, “is where I’ve so wanted to be…”

“I hope you have a nice time.”

“Oh I will. I already am.” He moved, and sparks of pleasure scattered inside her. She rocked with him, then lifted herself and bore down, and suddenly all she wanted was to come again and bring him with her. Gasping, she placed her hand on his flat, unyielding stomach and rode him hard.

She took him by surprise. For a moment, he just stared at her, letting her have her way, and that excited her, spurred her on. Only then, he thrust forcefully, gripping her hips to lift her higher and bring her down faster. Flame soared through her whole body. She threw her head back, matching his rhythm as his hands swept up and down her sides, roaming greedily over her hips and bottom.

And then suddenly, she was under him. Leaning on his hands, he arched his back, bending to latch his mouth to her breast as he drove into her. She cried out, and with an effort that made his whole body shake, he slowed the pace, gentling his thrusts, and God, that was beautiful too. Frustrating but lovely. Slow, sensual fucking. The kind she’d dreamed about on cold, dark nights, even when she’d have run screaming from the reality.

Well, this was reality. This was Aidan, making love to her, while the boat rocked and swayed under them, and she wanted to cry and scream at the same time. She never wanted this bliss to end, and yet if she didn’t come soon, she’d die.

He left her breast and kissed her mouth instead, his tongue thrusting in the same rhythm as his hips, and her soft, incoherent cries grew louder. His heart pounded against her breasts, his ragged breath almost groaned into her mouth. When she grasped his buttocks and pulled him into her, he let go, thrusting hard and fast and desperate.

Orgasm hit her so hard that she screamed. He slammed into her again and again, and then fell on her as he came too. The amazing blast of heat from the condom surged through her climax, intensifying everything from the tips of her fingers to her convulsing core.

She turned her head, openmouthed, seeking his lips and finding only his rough jaw, until he turned his head and kissed her. Fortunately, his lips seemed to work better than hers, which had gone slack and stupid.

He didn’t move off her or pull away. She loved his weight pressing her into the mattress. Slowly, he released her mouth, which had finally learned to kiss again, and touched his forehead to hers. “Fuck, Chrissy,” he said. “Can I stay here all day?”

And suddenly, she wanted to weep. “Yes, please,” she whispered, touching his face in wonder, smiling to keep back the tears. She didn’t want to cry. She wanted to laugh and love.

“Better deal with this first, though,” he said, grinding into her and making her gasp with intense after-tingles. “Don’t want the little fellows rushing off unsupervised.”

Laughter shook her—that felt amazing too, for both of them, judging by his hiss and the way his hips moved. “Little fellows?”

He grinned. “Your friends and mine, but they have to be kept under strict discipline.”

“Well, you’re the cop. Arrest them.”

He pushed up on one hand, easing out of her, and stripped off the condom. In Chrissy’s experience, this was where the closeness usually ended. Flat-out sleeping or a bolt for the pub usually ensued—normally in her company, she had to admit. She hadn’t gone out with many bastards. The isolation, the sense of loss she’d generally felt had been her problem, not her lovers’.

Aidan dropped the condom carelessly on the floor beside the bed. “Remind me that’s there,” he said and settled back down against her, drawing her onto her side so they could lie face-to-face, fitting together like a jigsaw. His strong arms closed securely around her. His leg pinned her in place. And she didn’t mind at all. She was so grateful, she kissed him.

When she’d finished, for the present, his lips smiled, and so did his eyes, and she couldn’t look away. His smile was everything she’d imagined and more. Her whole being seemed to thrill in response. Or perhaps it was her heart turning over with a whole new fear.

I could fall in love with you. Oh, but I could…

“You didn’t run away screaming,” he observed.

“Did you expect me to?”

He considered. “I was prepared for it. I can’t tell you how glad I am it didn’t happen.”

“Me too.”

With the tip of one finger, he traced a line from her lips to her neck and shoulder. “Am I your first lover since…?”

“Since I was attacked?” It was easy to say now. No defiance, no need to prove that her recovery was complete enough to talk about it naturally. She
had
been attacked and raped. She’d endured, suffered and done the right thing and got on with her life. And now she’d made love with the sexiest man she’d ever encountered, and she felt…amazing. “Yes,” she said. “You’re the first.”

Like the first ever. A new beginning.

“Thank you,” he murmured, kissing her shoulder.

Something not quite laughter caught in her throat. “That should be my line.”

He shook his head, brushing his lips back and forward across her skin. “No,” he said. “No.” He cupped her face in his hand, kissing her mouth long and thoroughly. Against her thigh, his semi-erection stiffened and grew.

The boat gave a bigger rock than usual, and Aidan broke the kiss with reluctance. “I should go up on deck and check on things. The weather’s a bit unpredictable.”

She hugged him, pressing her cheek to his. If this was all there ever was between them, she’d remember it until the end of her life. Remember
him
.

He stroked her hair. “We could get dressed,” he suggested. “Go back up on deck, drink more coffee and look out for seals.”

“I can live with that.”

He kissed her again. And when he stopped, she kissed him.

He groaned, pulling himself slowly out of her arms. “Temptress. I’m having fantasies now about taking you against the wheel.”

Desire surged higher. “In the warmer weather,” she said, and then flushed because when the weather was warmer here, he’d be in Iraq or somewhere else across the world. He wouldn’t be here. And suddenly that seemed wrong. Not because he wouldn’t be able to fuck her against the wheel in the sunshine, but because he’d be back in that murky world that he’d almost escaped.