In His Eyes (6 page)

When she finished the chapter, she closed the Bible and looked at Connor, then at Ellene and back to Connor. “Did you hear that? Joseph threw his arms around Benjamin and wept, and then he kissed all his brothers and wept over them.”

“I heard that,” Connor said.

“Do you know what it means?” But instead of looking at him, she turned her gaze directly at Ellene.

“It’s the story of God’s love for a family,” Ellene said.

“It’s the story of forgiveness,” Aunt Phyllis said, “His brothers betrayed Joseph, they almost left him for dead, but instead they sold him into slavery. All for envy. But Joseph forgave his brothers. He showed the greatest love to them even after they’d done the unthinkable.” She shifted in her chair and placed the Bible on the table. “It’s all about forgiveness.”

Connor eyed Ellene and saw an uneasy look on her face. She’d obviously realized his aunt’s purpose in sharing that particular lesson.

Aunt Phyllis rose from the chair and popped a tape into the tape recorder, then pushed the button. A familiar praise hymn filled the air. The music seemed to ease the tension, and when Connor looked at Ellene, she smiled.

E
llene had managed to smile at Connor, but inside she winced with his aunt’s lesson. Last night the woman had grilled her about her breakup with Connor, and today she’d used her Bible reading—her long Bible reading—to bring home the lesson.

Her father had tried the same tack with his lesson of forgiveness. Ellene didn’t want to harbor a grudge. Still it seemed more than forgiveness to her. She admitted she’d been wrong, too, but every time she recalled how quickly Connor had fallen into another woman’s arms—even married her and gave her a child—the years she and Connor had spent together became a charade.

“I suppose I’ll have to work from here,” Ellene said, wanting to make it perfectly clear that she didn’t plan to use the situation for fun. “I’ll call my father and explain.”

Connor’s expression tensed. “How can you work from here?”

“I have a phone and a laptop. I can manage for a couple of days.” Her head rang with Aunt Phyllis’s ominous declaration from the day before about the downed ferry service.
It lasts a few hours or a few days. Sometimes two or three weeks at the most.

“Are you okay?” Connor’s voice pierced her thoughts.

“I’m fine. Just thinking of what I have to do.” She rose from the table. “I’ll get my laptop and then make a few calls.”

All three of them gaped at her as if she’d ruined the party.

“Please, you can all go back to whatever you do. Don’t let me bother you.”

“You’re no bother,” Aunt Phyllis said. “Connor and I need to take stock of what we have and what we need. The store opens in a half hour, and we’ll need to pick up what we can. You never know.”

You never know.
The phrase latched onto Phyllis’s earlier statement and knocked the breath out of Ellene. She turned her back and walked from the room, trying to ignore the dire remark. When she reached her room, she sat on the edge of the bed, realizing her mind was far from work.

Noises sounded from the other room—cabinet doors opening and closing, the outside door banging, Caitlin whining about something and finally
Connor announcing his aunt’s oil tank was nearly empty.

While she tried to set her mind on work tasks, the empty oil tank dwelled in her thoughts. Was Connor’s empty, too? Would they freeze before rescue came? She felt like a novice mountain climber stranded on Mount Everest.

Ellene dismissed the vexing thoughts, dug into her handbag and pulled out her cell phone. She pushed in the numbers, letting the phone ring. On the third buzz, the secretary’s voice came from the answering machine stating business hours. “We’re open Monday through Friday from…”

Today was Sunday. She’d just tolerated Aunt Phyllis’s down-her-throat sermon. How had she forgotten? She hit the menu button on her cell and punched her parents’ phone number. Voice mail kicked in. She pushed the off switch. She refused to talk to voice mail when she wanted a human.

She plopped onto the edge of the bed, her frustration pounding in her head. So today was Sunday, a day of rest. Not with her stranded here with Connor and his family. How could she rest? She needed to keep her guard up at all times.

She opened the laptop and sat it on the nightstand, then twisted her body around to use the keyboard and opened a customer folder. At least she could accomplish a few tasks without the interruption of her
phone ringing or someone wanting her to go out on the road for an estimate.

Within a few minutes, her back ached from its contorted position at the keyboard, and though she’d read the document over twice, her concentration was nil. Once again, she’d have to let her pride fall by the wayside and admit today was not a day to work.

She turned off the computer and straightened her spine. The house seemed quieter. She rose and walked to the bedroom window. Outside, she saw Connor tapping on his oil tank and then checking the gauge. She tried to read his expression, but all she could tell was that he hadn’t frowned.

He opened his cabin door and went inside, and Ellene stayed there, too stubborn to go into the other room to see what was happening. In a moment, she heard the side door close and saw Aunt Phyllis and Caitlin crossing the slippery distance to join Connor.

She felt utterly alone.

Her breath fogged the windowpane, and she brushed it away, wondering what they were doing at Connor’s. Was he setting a warm blaze in the fireplace or making Caitlin hot chocolate? She would enjoy a tasty treat, too.

The window hazed again, and she dropped the curtain, then glanced down at the fuzzy slippers and purple top she’d borrowed from Connor’s aunt. She found her shoes beneath the bed, slipped them on,
and picked up her jacket. She could, at least, find out what they were doing? Maybe they needed her help.

She snorted at the idea. What help would she be on an island she didn’t know with a man she wanted to avoid? But right now, she didn’t want to avoid anyone. Loneliness had won over her pride.

Ellene shoved her arm into her jacket as she left the bedroom and made her way to the side door. No one used the front door, she’d learned. When she stepped outside, the bitter wind nipped at her back as she trudged through the brittle snow.

At Connor’s she raised her hand to knock, then thought better of it and opened the door.

Connor spun around in surprise. “I thought you were working.”

“It’s Sunday. I forgot.”

A grin tilted the edge of his mouth. “Then welcome to our scavenger hunt.”

“What?”

“We’re deciding how we can pool resources, then we’re going shopping. You can come along if you’d like.”

If you’d like.
Like, what else did she have to do? No, I’d rather stay here and watch the ground freeze. Having better thoughts, she shrugged, hoping to look noncommittal. “Anything I can do?”

“You can play a game with me?” Caitlin said, appearing from the bathroom with Aunt Phyllis behind her.

“Toilet paper,” his aunt said, “and we’d better hurry.” She seemed to notice Ellene, because her eyes widened. “Thought you were working.”

“It’s Sunday,” Ellene said again.

“Good, then come along.” She motioned for them to head out the door.

Connor didn’t flinch. He strode to the door as if Aunt Phyllis were an army sergeant. Caitlin latched onto Ellene’s hand, and they stepped outside.

“Don’t anyone walk away from this car without carrying a bag.”

Connor grinned at his aunt’s command as they climbed from the SUV in his driveway. He opened the hatch and doled out grocery bags, leaving the heaviest for himself.

The store had been crowded, as he’d expected. When he’d arrived outside the market, cars had already begun to line up waiting for the store to open so they could stock their pantries just in case.

Ellene had joined them, and she’d sat in the back with Caitlin, attempting to maintain her business persona while being barraged by Caitlin’s chatter, but Connor saw she was having problems. He’d chuckled earlier when she’d suddenly appeared at his house, remembering it was Sunday and the office was closed. How could she have forgotten Aunt Phyllis’s lengthy sermon?

“I can’t believe the ferry still isn’t running,” Ellene
said, snatching the paper bag from his arms. “You should have warned me.”

“How did I know?” he asked, getting nothing more in return than an arched eyebrow and a sneer.

When he’d handed the last small package to Caitlin, Connor lifted the two heavier bags into his arms. The store didn’t have everything they’d put on the list, but he’d grabbed eggs, milk and cheese, and a few packages of meat before the cases were nearly empty.

Ellene had purchased a few items of her own, he’d noticed when they arrived at the checkout counter—pads of paper, crayons, childproof scissors and he couldn’t tell what else. Apparently Caitlin had helped her shop, and Ellene’s thoughtfulness touched his heart.

Still he feared for Caitlin. She’d opened up to Ellene in the short time she’d been there, and he worried about her reaction when Ellene left for home. He’d noticed a tender look in Ellene’s eyes when she spoke with Caitlin. He guessed she liked Caitlin, too, but he wasn’t confident that she truly understood how devastating her departure could be for his daughter. Part of him wanted to get Ellene away from them before Caitlin was hurt—before
he
was hurt again.

“Where do you want this?” Ellene asked, piling canned goods onto the table.

He motioned to the cabinets. “The longest door is the pantry. You’ll see where it goes.”

She carried the products to the shelves while he stowed the dairy and meat in the refrigerator.

Aunt Phyllis stood beside the door where she’d left a bag of dog food. “I’ll head back home. Pepper needs to eat.”

Ellene looked up from the canned goods. “I’ll be over shortly.”

Connor felt the impact of her comment when he saw Caitlin’s face, and he longed to say something but didn’t, not in front of his daughter.

“Where are the cookies?” Caitlin asked, nosing into the empty bags.

“Cookies?” He realized that was an item they’d forgotten. “I’m sorry, Caitlin. We didn’t buy cookies.”

She stomped her foot. “But you promised.”

He eyed Ellene hoping she’d say something about the crayons and paper she’d bought. He assumed they were for Caitlin.

She didn’t say a word, but shifted the canned goods from one shelf to another as if she were alphabetizing them.

Caitlin tossed herself onto the sofa and smothered her face in the cushion. Her mumbled protests pierced the quiet.

Ellene closed the pantry door and faced him. “What’s wrong?”

“We forgot the cookies.”

“You promised,” Caitlin wailed, turning her head so her words were clear and loud.

“We don’t always get what we want, Caitlin. I’ve told you that. I’m sorry.”

“But you promised,” she said.

“Promises are important,” Ellene whispered as she passed him. She sat on the arm of the sofa and looked down at Caitlin. “You know what’s more fun than buying cookies?”

Caitlin’s sobs softened. “What?” She hiccuped the word.

“Baking cookies,” Ellene said.

Caitlin lifted her moist eyes and looked at her. “I’ve never baked cookies.”

“You haven’t? But that’s the most fun.”

Connor watched aghast as Ellene soothed his daughter. Why hadn’t he thought about baking cookies? He gave the chair leg a soft kick. Because he wasn’t a woman, that’s why. Women thought of cookies and ribbons and crayons. Men didn’t.

“Let’s see if we have flour and things to make them. Okay?” Ellene said, giving Connor a frantic look.

He shrugged, hoping they had what she needed.

As she looked inside the cabinets, she brought out sugar, peanut butter, a flour bag that looked nearly empty. Then she grabbed a cookbook sitting on an open bookshelf and flipped through the pages.

“I’ll run over to see if Aunt Phyllis has the other things we need.” She gave Connor a questioning look as if asking why he hadn’t bought flour and who knows what so they could make cookies.

He didn’t try to respond.

She grabbed her jacket and vanished through the doorway, leaving a nippy breeze along with her cold shoulder.

Connor felt disappointed in himself and disappointed in Caitlin. He couldn’t allow her to behave this way, and he was at a loss as to what to do.

He sidled across the room and sat on the edge of the sofa near Caitlin’s feet. “Cait, I’m sorry, but we’re sort of stranded here, and sometimes things don’t happen the way we want them. You can’t throw a fit every time things don’t go your way.”

She looked at him with sad eyes. “But Daddy, you promised.”

“I know, but—” But. He recalled Aunt Phyllis saying God didn’t use the word. “I forgot, Cait. I made a mistake.”

“You told me God makes promises and He doesn’t forget, but if He’s our Father then maybe He’ll forget, too.”

Her logic stung him. “No, Caitlin, God is different. He’s almighty and bigger than any human. He’d never forget His promises. God says, ‘My eyes and my heart will always be there.’ That means He is always watching you and always caring for you.”

“Is love in the heart, Daddy?”

“I think so.”

“When you die, does your heart lose all its love?”

His chest tightened with her question. How could
he answer that? When the body died, the heart died, but love? Did love die or did it just go with the soul to heaven? “Your mom loves you even now, Caitlin. She’s up in heaven loving you with all her heart.”

She eyed Connor as if weighing what he’d said. “Does she know I miss her?”

The questions—so many with impossible answers. “If she knew how much we missed her, she’d be sad, I think, but I’m sure she knows you love her, because that would make her happy.”

A faint grin touched her lips. “Everyone is happy in heaven.”

“That’s right. I promise you that, Caitlin, and that’s a promise I can keep.”

She gave a gentle nod and pushed herself into a seated position, then reached up to wrap her arms around his waist. Connor drew her closer, smelling the fragrance of his child and praying to God to calm his daughter’s heart.

They were still embracing when the door opened, and Ellene came inside, stomping clumps of snow from her shoes.

“It’s melting a little. That could be good news with the ferry service.”

“Could be,” he said, hating to tell her that it took more than a little sunshine to break up the ice jam. Often it melted a little during the day, fusing it together even more strongly in the evening when it became colder.

“Did you find what you needed?” he asked.

“I think so.”

She set a bag of flour and a container of baking powder or soda onto the counter. He could never remember which was which.

Ellene pulled a mixing bowl from the cabinet and lifted a wooden spoon from a crockery container beside the stove. “Ready to make cookies, Caitlin?”

Caitlin unwound her arms from Connor and scooted off the sofa. She pulled up a small stool his mother must have used to reach items in the upper cabinets, and it made Caitlin just the right height at the counter.

He watched as Ellene showed her how to measure the ingredients, and Caitlin forgot all about his promise as she mixed the peanut butter and milk into the flour and sugar.