In Memoriam (22 page)

Hesitating, he wondered if this was the wine talking. “Well, of course,” he answered. “There’d be no other way.”

“No, I mean a relationship leading to marriage.”

His arm dropped from her shoulder, and he turned to her. “Really? I mean, I never thought I’d get married again. It’s a privilege people our age have. We can commit to be together for life and not have the paper.”

She was shaking her head. “No, I don’t think that will work for me. I’m too old to have a casual relationship again. We don’t have to worry about it yet. I just thought I should warn you before your expectations grew.”

They both chuckled at the reference.

“What I
meant
was, I didn’t want you to be disappointed when a month passed and we aren’t having sex.”

“Ha! Okay, well, that’s something we can work out, I’m sure. I won’t let my
expectations grow.
”

“Do people really have conversations like this after a week?” Pam asked, embarrassed that the wine appeared to have taken control of her mouth.

“If they have hopes for a relationship, they do. I have no idea what I’m talking about, by the way, because I don’t date much. Maybe if I was twenty-five, it would be a deal breaker, but I’m sixty-three. I’ve gone this long, I think a few more months, or years, won’t kill me.”

“It won’t take years,” she said, laughing. “For now, though, let’s just take one day at a time.”

He kissed her again, then let go of her hand. “You better get inside and lock up. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, saluting her and walking off into the darkness.

~ ~ ~

Saturday morning, Pam got up at sunrise and, repeating rituals, reached for her glasses, slid out of bed and went to the window. It was going to be a beautiful day. The sun was just coming up over the horizon with enough wind to move the beach grass. It looked chilly out, too early in the season for much beach activity even on a weekend.

While she made coffee, she thought of Lisa, remembering having run into Dan and Cara at Organic Bonanza. Was Dan being unfaithful already? It was not a side of him she knew, thinking his dalliance with Lisa had been an isolated incident. Maybe the guy was a reprobate and Pam just didn’t catch on, which wouldn’t have been surprising.

Pouring a cup of coffee, she grabbed a shawl and went out on the veranda, lighting the fire pit first. The inner battle, trying to decide if she should say something to Lisa, was making her anxious.
What good would it do?
Specifically, what good would it do Lisa? If Pam only had herself to think of, it would feel great to expose Dan, but she didn’t want to hurt her daughter, either. Decision made…she’d stay quiet.

Chapter 20

After a rough night with baby Marcus, Lisa decided she was going to invite Gladys to come over for the weekend. The nanny could care for the baby, and Gladys could take Megan. She wanted to sleep all day. If Dan was going to be around, she would invite him to go out for lunch, because she was so ready for an outing.

Sometime in the night, he’d left and was sleeping in the den. “There’s no point in both of us being up,” she’d said, exhausted. “Go ahead and go downstairs.”

He hadn’t argued, taking his pillow with him.

The baby was sleeping at last. Reaching for the clock, it was just seven, but she was calling Gladys anyway, so if she agreed to come, they’d get an early start. Dan was not going to be pleased, but Lisa didn’t care. Afraid he had an agenda that she wasn’t fully aware of, she decided to pretend everything was okay but do what she wanted.

“Hello, dear. Is anything wrong?” Gladys asked.

“No, it’s fine. I figured I’d wake you if I called early, but I wanted to get you before you made plans.”

Gladys laughed. “Oh lord, yes, you know we have such a heavy social calendar this time of year. However, we’ve been up for hours, and you’re the first invitation so far.”

“You know what I mean,” Lisa said, giggling. “I was hoping you’d want to come see Megan this weekend. She misses you. The baby is staying up all night, and I’ve about had it. I let Dan talk me into having a nanny, but I don’t feel right about leaving her with a new baby and a toddler.”

No one spoke for a moment, and Lisa was afraid she was going to say no. “What
about
Dan? Is he going to be uncomfortable if we come?”

“No,” Lisa lied. “He won’t even be around. If you come, I’m going to insist he take me to lunch today, and he has something to do on Sunday. Some benefit he has to go to.”

“Let me ask Ed,” Gladys said hesitatingly.

Lisa could hear the phone muffle as Gladys pressed it against her thigh. She did it with her cell phone all the time, disconnecting calls. “Okay, I’m back. We’d love to come. Ed’s yelling to tell you we’ll leave in half an hour. Just have to throw some clothes in a suitcase.”

Relieved, Lisa got back into bed, hoping Dan would take care of Megan when she woke up, at least until the nanny arrived at eight. But she was no sooner nestled in when she heard droning voices. Pulling the covers back, she got up and tiptoed past Megan’s room and down the stairs. Low, masculine laughter came from the den. Thinking Dan might have left the television on, she crept to the door and put her ear to it. The voice was Dan’s, talking to someone on the phone.

“You’re crazy,” he whispered, laughing. “Oh, I see. Hmm, don’t tempt me. No, I don’t think so. It’s Saturday. Ah ha, I had better stick around home. Not a word. Well, maybe this time, but we’d better not take a chance like that again. Okay, you too. See you tomorrow.”

Lisa’s heart was banging so hard she felt sick. Her initial impulse was to barge in and start screaming at him, but then she thought better of it. She’d wait and see what excuse he used when he left for the
benefit
tomorrow. If there even
was
a benefit. Forming a plan, she knew what she would do when the time came.

Without knocking, she entered the den just as he was saying good-bye. “Good morning! I thought I heard voices down here. Business so early?”

He was sitting at the edge of the sleeper sofa in his underwear with his mouth open. “I didn’t hear you come down,” he said, ashen faced. “Ah, yeah, I was just firming up plans for the benefit tomorrow.”

“Gotcha,” Lisa said, thinking,
You sleazy bag of shit
. “I’ll make coffee. That baby finally went to sleep. I called Gladys, and she and Ed will be here around noon.” She watched Dan’s expression from the corner of her eye as she folded up the blankets off the couch. “They’ll be sleeping down here, so I better wash these sheets.”

“Why bother? They’ll just dirty them up again.” Dan knew he shouldn’t voice one negative opinion about Gladys and Ed; Lisa was behaving peculiarly, a little too jocular, flashing him a disgusted look.

“By the way, you’re taking me to lunch today. That’s why I called Gladys. If I don’t get out of this house and have some adult conversation, I might commit murder.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Dan said quickly. “Anything you want.”

Yeah, I bet you’ll do what I want,
she thought. “Great, well, it’s all settled, then. We’ll have coffee, and then I am going to put my feet up until Marcus wakes up again.”

A key in the back door signaled that the nanny had arrived, and Lisa breathed a sigh of relief. Walking away, she could hear Dan say something but ignoring him seemed to be the appropriate action.
Whom was he talking to when I came downstairs? This was when I really need my mother. Pam would know what to do about the Cara problem
.

Dan wrapped a sheet around his body and followed her out to the kitchen. “I asked you to get me a robe,” he said, nervous.

“I’m sure Daniela has seen men in their underwear.” Lisa poured a cup of coffee. If he wanted one, he could get it himself.

“What’s wrong, Lisa?”

She turned to look at him, examining his face, his eyes.
He really thinks I’m a dumb ass
, she thought. “I’m just tired,” she replied. “I’m not exaggerating when I say Marcus was awake all night.”

“I’ll get him if he cries. You go relax.”

She didn’t answer him right away, leaving the kitchen with her coffee, biting her tongue. It would take an act of her will, but she was determined not to reveal what she’d heard.

Closing the door, she keyed in her mother’s number. Pam was having a second cup of coffee on the veranda.

“Isn’t it too cold out?”

“I’ve got the fire pit going,” Pam answered. “It’s really nice.”

“Oh boy, that sounds so lovely.” Taking a deep breath, Lisa kept going. “Mom, I know I destroyed something between us when I married Dan, but it didn’t keep me from needing you.”

Pam wondered where Lisa was going with it. “You didn’t destroy anything between us, honey. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
This has to have something to do with Cara
.

“I feel like I can’t complain about Dan because I sort of have it coming after betraying you.”

Pam didn’t want to say touché. She didn’t feel that way about Lisa. “Lisa, first of all, I don’t feel like
you
betrayed me. Secondly, you know what I went through after Daddy died. You of all people shouldn’t look the other way, no matter what it is. Does that help at all?”

“Sort of. Can I confide in you?”

Pam wasn’t sure if she was the right person to hear the intimate garbage of Lisa and Dan’s marriage, especially now that she was witness to whatever he was up to. She decided to allow her daughter to use her as a sounding board, no matter how strange. “Sure,” she answered. “Confide away.”

“This morning, I caught him talking to someone I am sure is another woman. He lied to me about having to go to some benefit Sunday, and then I heard him say he would see this person tomorrow. So I’m going to follow him.”

“Wait, Lisa. Isn’t that kind of dangerous? I mean, what if it leads to a confrontation. Will you have the kids in the car?”

“No, Gladys and Big Ed are coming for the weekend. And we have a nanny now, too. I’ll leave the kids at home when I go.”

Pam thought about what Lisa had just said. If she revealed that she saw him with Cara at Organic Bonanza, it could go two ways. Either she’d be more determined than ever to follow him to see if it was Cara he was canoodling with or she’d have enough ammunition to confront him right away. Pam decided to tell her about the sighting.

“Okay, answer a question for me. Why are you going to follow him?”

“I want to know who he was talking to. If I just confront him about the call, he’ll make up an excuse.”

“If you had information that would confirm he was seeing another woman, would you give up the idea of following him?”

“Mother, what do you know?” Lisa’s voice was shaking.

“Answer me, Lisa,” Pam said.

“Yes! I’d confront him now,” Lisa said, looking over at the baby sleeping in his little bassinet, praying he’d stay asleep for a few minutes more. “What do you know?”

“I can tell I’ve upset you. Promise me you’ll stay calm.”

“I promise,” she replied, near tears.

“Yesterday, I ran into Dan and that Miss New York woman at Organic Bonanza.”

“Mother, why didn’t you tell me this yesterday?”

“It seemed innocent,” Pam lied. “He was quick to tell me they were shopping for your dinner. Did he, in fact, make you dinner?”

“What do you think?” Lisa chewed the inside of her mouth. She needed to have this out with Dan now, before Gladys got there.

“Mom, I’m going to hang up. I’ll confront him now, and then he won’t dare lie to me about tomorrow.” They said good-bye and hung up.

Then it struck Lisa; Dan was downstairs in his underpants with the nanny. Even her own house wasn’t safe for her marriage now. She threw her phone on the bed and hurried back down the stairs, sneaking up on him again. Sure enough he was leaning against the sink, muscular arms crossed over his massive chest, shirtless with a sheet wrapped around his waist, flirting with the nanny.

“Hi, Daniela,” Lisa said dismissively. “Dan, can I speak to you, please?” She turned and left the kitchen, trying to block out whatever it was they were saying to each other as he followed Lisa back upstairs. She pointed to the maid’s room, where Gladys used to sleep when Ed was alive, too close to Dan now. He went through the door, and she closed it after them.

“I’m not sure what the hell you think you’re doing. This morning, I catch you talking to who I’m sure was another woman, and then you’re schmoozing with the nanny in your underpants. Now I just got off the phone with my mother, who tells me she ran into you and Cara Ellison at the food store yesterday, with some lie bullshit story you gave her about buying my dinner.”

Dan ran his hand across his mouth in a nervous gesture.
How am I going to explain this?
He always maintained that it was easier to rationalize the truth than try to lie his way out of it.

But Lisa wasn’t finished. “And the benefit thing, I’m sure it’s a lie, too. If you have a benefit to go to, I’ll tag along. I’m sure Cara won’t mind now that we’re such good friends.”
If only I had a gun.

Dan took a deep breath. “I did see your mother at Organic Bonanza. But she caught me off guard. I’m willing to bet the only reason she approached me was because Cara was there. And I didn’t go there with her, we ran into each other in the parking lot. I was getting my lunch and was going to pick up something for you. I ended up getting nothing because Pam scared the crap out of me.”

Lisa burst out laughing. “She really can be intimidating for all her gentleness and poise.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Who were you talking to this morning?”

“Cara. But it isn’t what it seems. She’s running that silly race for some animal charity. I said I cheer her on.”

Lisa wasn’t buying it, but at least he admitted he was still seeing her. “Dan, I don’t like this. I’ve asked you to stop seeing her, and you’re not. If you really ran into Cara in the parking lot, you should have gotten back in your car. I don’t think you are taking me seriously. If you’re involved with her, we’re finished. And you can’t threaten me with your legal BS either. I have more money than you do to fight.”