In My Father's Shadow (10 page)

Nate’s brows dipped as he studied his son. “You two
seemed a little off tonight. What’s going on?”

Cole sighed and ran his hands through his hair, the
confusion starting the carousel in his brain. “I really don’t know
anymore.” He got up and crossed the room to study the memorabilia
on the walls. “Honestly.”

“Did you two argue?” Nate prodded.

Cole shrugged and bent his head over the water bottle
in his hands. “I have feelings for her, Dad, and it’s killing me,”
he whispered, breathing much easier now that all the weight was
lifting off his chest and shoulders. He’d admitted what was
bothering him – confided in someone. He turned to see his father’s
reaction

But Nate was smiling. “Yeah, I sort of thought
so.”

Cole gawked at his dad. “Really?”

Nate moved before Cole and took his shoulders. “Yeah.
So what’s the story?”

Cole dropped his head and took a deep breath. He
lifted his eyes and met his father’s gaze. “I kissed her over the
summer, before she left for camp, and it’s kind of gone downhill
from there,” he said. “It was an accident – I shouldn’t have done
it, but it happened, you know? We talked about what happened
earlier this year and I thought that would be the end of it.”

“But it wasn’t,” Nate prodded.

Cole shook his head. “She kissed me last weekend
after one of our shows. I let her but I stopped it before things
could go…you know…too far. She got very upset with me because I
told her we couldn’t be together. Now she’s hardly speaking to
me.”

“Why?” Nate asked, utter confusion washing over his
face. “Why can’t you two be together?”

Cole looked up at his dad in surprise. “You should
know why!”

“Well I don’t.”

Cole sighed. “She’s my best friend. You and her dad
are best friends. We’re still in school. The list goes on.”

Nate smiled again. “Jay and Liz were the best of
friends before they got together and now look at them. I swear they
act like they did when they first started dating. And as far as Jay
and I are concerned, neither one of us would have a problem with
you two dating.” He sat down on the sofa, yanking Cole down beside
him. “Liz’s dad told her once that he didn’t believe love knew any
age.”

“I didn’t say I loved her,” Cole quickly butted in –
leaning back and holding up his hands as if in surrender.

Nate laughed. “I’m just saying.”

Cole released a loud breath. “I’m terrible with
girlfriends. I forget their birthdays. I forget about stuff I’m
supposed to do with them. I get so wrapped up in the band that
nothing else matters.”

Nate’s face turned solemn. “When’s Ally’s
birthday?”

Cole wrinkled his brow. “February 27th.”

“What’s her favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“When’s her next volleyball game?”

“Thursday in our gym.” Cole regarded his father
curiously. “What’s your point?”

“You never forget anything to do with her.” Nate sat
back with a smug grin on his face.

Cole groaned and dug the heels of his hands in his
eyes. “That’s because she’s my best friend. And that’s my biggest
fear. What if we do try this and it doesn’t work? What happens to
our friendship?”

Nate leaned forward and thought for a second. “Well,
that’s a chance you have to both be willing to take. Is your
friendship strong enough to survive something like that?”

“I…” Cole started but Nate held up his hand.

“I don’t need to know the answer. That’s something
you need to figure out for yourself. And then something you need to
talk to Ally about.”

Cole closed his eyes and nodded. He digested his
dad’s words slowly, knowing all along he was right. But it sure
didn’t make things any easier. “Thanks, Dad.”

“No problem, son,” Nate said.

“And honestly, I don’t have a problem at all with you
and Stacy. It’s about time you stopped worrying about taking care
of me and focused on you,” Cole said.

Nate snorted. “I was sort of thinking that it was
time for you to look after me.”

“Ha,” Cole laughed, his heart lighter. “I’m not
taking care of you until you’re like seventy and in diapers.”

“Wow,” Nate said, his eyes large and registering
astonishment. “You’d really change my diapers?”

“Not on your life,” Cole said, punching his dad’s
arm. “I’ll hire a nurse. A young nurse in one of those short
skirts.”

They both stood and Nate wrapped his arms around
Cole, locking his son’s arms to his sides. “Yeah, trying to give me
a heart attack?”

“Well, you know…there’s that inheritance issue,” Cole
said, breaking out of his father’s hold.

“Would you guys like some pie?” Stacy called
cautiously down the stairs.

Nate’s eyes grew. “Oh, hell. She’s probably dying to
know if you approve of this wedding.”

Cole smiled, his eyes glittering. “Yeah, we’ll be
right up…Mom,” he yelled. They both grinned as they heard her
happily reply she’d get them each a plate.

Nate clapped him on the shoulder as they started for
the stairs. “And you claim you have no way with women.”

“Hey, I never said I didn’t have a way with women,”
Cole smirked smugly, rushing up the steps. “I just said I was lousy
at having a girlfriend.”

***

He flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling.
He held his phone in his hand and contemplated calling her. It was
kind of late but she’d answer, he was sure. She’d always wanted to
hear his news.

He closed his eyes as another memory swept through
his mind.

“
I can’t believe you’re actually going to live
with your dad forever,” Ally exclaimed as they climbed the tree
house in his backyard.

“
Yeah, me either,” he told her excitedly. His
heart still filled with guilt at the thought of his mother –
especially during the happy moments he experienced with his
dad.

They sat on the boards next to each other, backs
leaning against the wall, totally comfortable in each other’s
presence. “How come Alec didn’t follow us this time?”

Ally grinned, her eyes sparkling. “I told my mom we
had something important to talk about and we didn’t need a seven
year old tagging along.”

“
Wow,” Cole exclaimed, scooting slightly away from
her. “That was kind of mean.”

“
Not really,” Ally argued, her brow furrowing at
him. “I mean, do you really want him to hear everything?”

He shrugged. “I guess you’re right.”

“
How is your mom?” Ally asked softly, lifting a
hand to awkwardly pat his shoulder.

“
Okay. She’s in rehab now.” He looked at her,
uncertainty in his eyes. “I’m not sure what rehab is and I don’t
want to ask my dad. I think he would tell me but I don’t think he
likes to talk about it.”

“
It’s a place people go to help them stop taking
drugs and other things like that,” Ally told him solemnly.

Cole knew Ally was smart but he couldn’t believe
she’d know something like that. “How do you know?”

“
Because my mom told me my dad had to go there
before they were married. He used to do drugs and he couldn’t
stop.” She turned her head so he wouldn’t see her tears. It hurt
her so terribly to hear that her daddy wasn’t perfect. He’d always
told her and Alec never to touch that stuff and then she found out
that he had to go away because he touched that stuff
himself.

“
I’m sorry, Al,” he told her. He wanted to hug her
but he wasn’t sure if she would hit him or not so he patted her
shoulder like she’d done to him.

“
It’s okay,” she said, giving him a weak, watery
smile. “He’s fine now, my mom says. He doesn’t do that anymore and
he hasn’t for a very long time.”

“
Maybe rehab will help my mom.”

“
It will. But Cole, will you have to go live with
her again when she gets better?”

“
Not if I don’t want to,” he told her and her
smile was so beautiful it touched his heart.

He smiled at the memory and dialed her cell
phone.

“Yes, Cole,” she said with a yawn. As tired as her
voice sounded, it still had a cutting edge to it.

“Dad and Stacy are getting married,” he told her
quietly.

“Really?” she said, warmth leaking into her tone.
“When?”

“Around Thanksgiving. He wanted to ask my approval
first.”

“Awww,” she cooed. “That’s so sweet!”

“It’s not sweet, Al,” he said, rolling his eyes but
smiling regardless. “It was cool, though.”

“Well I’m happy for them! It’s about time Nate
settled down.”

“I agree,” he said, relieved Ally was finally
speaking to him again. He hoped it was more than just a temporary
thing. “He asked me to stand up for him. With Stacy’s
daughter.”

“Oh,” she said slowly. “I’ve never met her daughter.
What’s she like?”

“Hell I don’t know. I’ve never met her, either.” He
grinned widely, egging her on. “Dad says Stacy might enroll her at
Woodsedge Academy after the holidays.”

“How lovely,” Ally replied sarcastically.

“She is lovely,” Cole continued with a smirk,
thoroughly enjoying himself. “I’ve seen pictures. Pretty hot,” he
lied.

“That’s nice. Maybe she’ll let you…”

“But she’s not nearly as beautiful as you are,” he
cut in purposely.

The line briefly went silent. “Oh, umm, thanks, I
guess,” she stammered.

“Goodnight, Al,” he said. “Talk to you later.” He
hung up quickly before she could respond.

***

He drove back to school alone, grateful for the
chance to think. He replayed the conversation he’d had with his dad
over and over in his mind.

Yes, it was true that he pretty much knew and
remembered everything important to Ally and there was no way he
could ever forget her birthday but that was just because he’d known
her for so long. He knew just about everything about RJ and Jamie,
too.

That reminded him of another good point. The four of
them were friends; good friends. What if he and Ally tried the
relationship thing and it didn’t work? Would it tear their whole
group apart? Jamie and Ally were cousins - would Jamie take her
side out of family loyalty?

He rubbed his forehead as he tried to concentrate on
the road and his thoughts simultaneously. He knew that his
friendship with the other guys was strong enough that if he and
Ally did get together and then broke up, they’d find a way to make
things work. Yeah, he’d had casual relationships before – ones he
didn’t really take seriously - but Ally was the type of girl you
gave everything to, including total respect. Was he prepared to do
that?

“I already do,” he said aloud. “Just as she does for
me.”

What if it does work, the other part of him asked.
You know deep down that if it does, it’ll be the best thing you’ve
ever had. And we’re not just talking sex here, my friend – even if
you could ever think of her in that way without all the
anxiety.

But it was never just about sex, he reasoned. He
wasn’t the type to use a girl for something like that. His dad
would skin him if he ever treated any girl that way – not that he
would. And he couldn’t stand the thought of some guy regarding Ally
as just another girl to brag to his buddies about. Ally was tough,
sure, but she had feelings and was a truly warm person.

“So, what – I’m going to by the guy to….?” he asked
aloud but couldn’t finish the question. He shivered. “And how did I
get to this point?”

He knew how he got to that point – he truly had
feelings for her and it absolutely killed him, wrenched his
insides, to think of another guy touching her in any way.

He groaned. He was caving and he knew it.

“I’ll talk to the guys,” he said to himself. “Even
though they really have no say in the matter, I’d like to take into
consideration their opinions.”

With that settled, he turned on the radio and settled
into the last half of the drive.

Chapter Nine

Cole beat the others back to campus and paced his
dorm room while waiting for RJ and Jamie to return. He was
agitated, craved a smoke, and wished fervently that his friends
would get back so he could unload.

An hour later, after nearly wearing a hole in the
carpet, both boys came crashing into the room, laughing at some
joke RJ had heard from his dad. The laughter died on their lips
when they spotted Cole’s anxious face and nervous hands.

“Dude, what happened?” RJ asked, dropping his
bag.

“You okay?” Jamie questioned moving forward and
shutting the door.

“Don’t shut the door, man. We’re going out for a
smoke,” Cole told them as he brushed past them, yanking his jacket
off a peg near the door. “And yeah, everything’s fine. I just need
to talk to you two.”

They shrugged at each other but followed him outside.
They walked quietly to the Student Center and parked on the picnic
tables just outside the doors. Cole lit up immediately.

“What’s up?” RJ asked, lighting his own cigarette. He
couldn’t sit so he bounced on the balls of his feet instead.

Cole took a big drag and ran his hand through his
hair. “It’s Ally.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Jamie asked anxiously.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Cole reassured him, and
then dropped his chin to his chest, pinching his cigarette between
his fingers. “Oh, hell, I’m screwing this up.”

RJ looked at Jamie, knowing smirk flickering across
his lips. Jamie returned it as they turned toward Cole’s anxious
form. RJ rolled to his toes. “You two finally hooked up, huh?”

Cole’s head jerked up so fast, a twinge of pain shot
through his nerves. His cigarette bobbled between his fingers as he
poked a finger at his buddies. “Hang on. You two would be okay with
it if Ally and I hooked up?”

Jamie shrugged, a thoughtful frown on his face. “It
was bound to happen and let me tell you, if you two did finally
hook up, it’d be a relief.” He took a cigarette from Cole’s pack
and stuck it between his lips. “You can cut the tension between you
two with a knife.”