In Plain Sight (15 page)

I stare longingly at the text on my cell phone. It’s simple and cute, an
I miss you
with a crying face emoji. I only left his house ten minutes ago, so he can’t possibly miss me, yet he does. And I miss him, his touch more than anything.

I never imagined feeling this way about a guy back in my old life. I always thought trying to date while worrying about how the bills will get paid or who will babysit the girls because Mom’s working late would make it impossible. Now all of those problems are gone and I’m free to live the life of a carefree teenager.

Mom and Landon’s wedding is in a week, next Friday. They’ve invited Landon’s parents and family, my aunt Cindy who lives in Louisiana and her husband, and a couple friends. Mom and Landon have asked me to invite Colby if I want to, but I haven’t yet. I’m not sure if I want to invite him to something so intimate and close to my family.

I haven’t even let him meet my parents yet. Mr. and Mrs. Jensen are super nice people and they seem to really like me, so meeting his parents wasn’t as bad as I’d imagined. Maybe letting Mom and Landon meet Colby also won’t be bad, but I’m not ready to find out.

I’m just so damned nervous about it. My new life with Landon as a future step-dad is one impossibly amazing, surreal life. I have a hard enough time getting used to living in this luxurious mansion with my mom and sisters.

My school life, the one I share with Colby, is another insanely impossible bliss that I wouldn’t trade for anything. But right now, the home life and school life are two separate things.

There’s been so much change in my life, it’s hard dealing with it all. I still wake up in a panic attack from nightmares about being thrown back into the trailer park without a dime to our name. If Colby ever found out about that part of my life, I don’t know what I’d do.

I’d probably just drop dead from mortification.

So, I heave a heavy sigh and look at the pale yellow Post-it note with Colby’s name on it. I’m working on the seating chart for the wedding, and I keep putting him in the chair next to me and then taking him back off.

Mom and Landon really want to meet him and hope he comes to the wedding. I’m just not sure the perfect time to introduce my new boyfriend to my mom is on the day she’s getting married.

I gnaw on my bottom lip and put the Post-it note back on the seating chart. In all, there’s twenty relatives and friends attending, plus my sisters, me and Landon and Mom. Twenty-five people, total. That’s a nice number. Adding Colby would just mess it all up, right?

As much as I try to justify my brain’s choice to exclude Colby, my heart doesn’t really listen. I like Colby. A lot. I might even love him. That means he shouldn’t be pushed away.

But the idea of merging my new home life with my new school life is downright terrifying. Like, what if Emma says something about our old house or about how we’ve lived here in town longer than just a few weeks?

My stomach twists at the idea. I pull off the Post-it note, crumple it in my hand and toss it on the floor. It’s settled then. No Colby at the wedding.

Colby won’t be welcomed inside my house at all until it’s been long enough that neither my sisters or my mom will mention how long we’ve really lived here.

#

On the Monday before Mom’s wedding, I’m barely paying attention to the stories at our lunch table. Although my wedding planning binder is at home, I’m still going over the plans in my head. We’ve ordered the food, the flowers, the table settings.

Emma and Starla have matching adorable flower girl dresses, and Mindy helped me buy a lavender dress that looks incredible. She was cool with not being invited to the wedding, especially after I told her it was family only, a small ceremony in our back yard. I get the feeling Mindy is the kind of girl who prefers to party big.

We’ve ordered round tables to set up under the patio, and a dance floor is being installed for the night. The pool will have floating candles to give it all a romantic glow. Even for a small wedding, it’ll be glamourous and wonderful.

The closer we get to the actual day, the happier I feel, for Mom, for my sisters, and for me. Our new life really is here to stay. I finish eating my salad and rise from the table to throw away my trash. When I’m walking back, my eyes catch Colby’s, and even though I was just sitting next to him not five seconds ago, he gives me this devilish look that melts my insides.

I’m about to sit down next to him again when he grabs my waist and pulls me into his lap. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, peering up at him.

“We’re not supposed to sit like this in the cafeteria,” I say, pretending to scold him.

He shrugs. “I don’t care.”

We kiss, and Mindy makes a gagging sound from the next seat over.

“Oh, good. There you are.”

We both glance up to find Maria walking toward us, an expensive school camera slung around her neck.

“About time you showed up for lunch,” Mindy says, stabbing into a piece of lettuce with a little more force than necessary. Now that she mentions it, there has been a nice lack of Maria and her evil glares for the past few days.

Maria gives Mindy a tight-lipped smile. “Yearbook,” she says by way of explanation. She hefts a black and gold hardback book onto the table, directly in front of me. When her eyes meet mine, they sparkle with an excitement I haven’t before seen on her. “It’s so weird how you only just started school,” she says, my blood turning cold beneath her glare.

She reaches for the book, the yearbook, and opens it to a bookmarked page. My heart seems to stop as her manicured nail slides down the silky paper, stopping at a picture of me, taken back in January.

“Picture day was months ago,” she says, using this fake childlike voice. “
So
weird that your photo is in here.”

“What the hell?” Mindy says, leaning on her elbows to get a better look.

Behind me, Colby’s chest tightens as he is without a doubt staring at the same thing. Me, with brown stringy hair, a worn out shirt, and no makeup except for my dollar store clumpy mascara.

I don’t have to look over to the left to know that the name
Maddie Sinclair
is printed there, black and white proof that I did not move here during Spring Break. I am a fraud. And now everyone knows it.

I push off Colby’s lap, grab my backpack from the floor, and run.

Mindy stands up, her hands slapping the table hard as she levels a glare at Maria. “What the hell is your problem?” she hisses.

It’s more than I do. I just sit here, staring at a color photo of Maddie, my girlfriend, looking not at all like she looks now. Her hair is different, sure, but everything else is, too. She seems far away, distant. Maybe even lost. The girl in the photo is a girl who has given up on life.

Why is she in the yearbook? Picture day was months ago.

Mindy slaps me on the shoulder, jarring me from staring at the yearbook. “Well?” she says, giving me this look that very much resembles when my mother is pissed at me.

“Well, what?” I say, finally able to find my voice.

Mindy throws a hand behind her. “Are you going to go get her?”

I glance back, but Maddie is gone. There’s a knot in my stomach that’s growing bigger with each second. This is confusing as hell, but there has to be an explanation. There is an answer to why Maddie’s picture is here in the yearbook. But the fact that she just ran away like that, without even telling me the answer, makes me pause.

I shake my head. “Why would I go after someone who ran away from me?”

Mindy’s jaw hardens. “Because you’re her boyfriend, you dick.”

She lets out a huff and turns to go after Maddie herself, but Maria stops her.

“I know the truth, if you want to hear it. I’m not so sure your new best friend will tell it to you.” Maria smirks. “But I will.”

“What the hell could you possibly know?” I ask, wondering if this is all some evil plot that she’s concocted in her efforts to make me want her.

Maria takes her time sitting across from us at the table. She leans forward a little, no doubt purposely pushing her boobs up and out. How she doesn’t get pulled for dress code with that much cleavage showing, I don’t know.

“I noticed this picture the other day, and I thought the same thing. I mean, she just moved here, so she wouldn’t be in the yearbook. Then, I paid a visit to her house and talked with the maid.” She pauses, probably for dramatic effect because she looks right at me, expecting me to react. I don’t.

The maid told me that Maddie and her mom lived here for months, and only just moved into Landon Howard’s house in Shady Heights a month ago during Spring Break. Maddie dyed her hair right after she moved in and decided to pretend to be someone else. Even her homeroom teacher confirms it. Mrs. Brooks said Maddie used to wear the same outfits every day and then suddenly she became this pink-haired Louis Vuitton carrying popular princess.”

“Shut your bitch mouth,” Mindy says, her fangs coming out in full force. “You’re never happy until you’re destroying everyone else.”

“Right, because I’m the one who lied to you for the last month?” she says, her thick eyeliner narrowing at Mindy.

They keep at it, bitching back and forth, but it’s all white noise to me. I remember a time not too long ago when Maddie confided in me that she’s not sure Mindy really cares about her as a friend, or if it’s all just some popular girl thing to piss off her other friends. Well, I know now that Mindy does care. She’s fighting like hell to protect Maddie’s honor since she’s not here to defend herself.

But that’s just it. She’s not here. She ran away before explaining herself. That means she has something to hide, and she’s hiding it from me.

I stare at the picture again, at the girl who is so devoid of life compared to the girl I know now as Maddie Sinclair. My fingers go tingly as panic rises up my spine. I have fallen in love with a girl I don’t even know.

What happened to her to make her this way?

And why did she lie about it?

The road blurs as I drive home, my eyes filling with tears faster than I can wipe them away. A dark voice in my sub-conscious laughs at me. I knew this would happen, after all. Didn’t I? People don’t get to pretend to be someone else forever. Eventually you get caught.

Eventually you lose everything.

I slam the button on my gate opener and the metal slowly moves inward, letting me drive into this massive driveway that I don’t deserve. Landon’s car is in the garage, which is a little weird since he normally works until five every day. He probably took off early today to keep working on wedding stuff with Mom. Great. Just what I need: a whole family to see me crying my eyes out.

I park, climb out, and go straight to my room without running into anyone.

My chest is on fire with how painful this feels. I fall face first on my bed, tuck my arms under the pillow, and cry. It doesn’t help the pain, and it doesn’t make me feel better, but I keep crying anyway.

My phone never rings; the doorbell never chimes. No one comes to check on me. Not Mindy, not Colby.

Colby, the world’s best boyfriend. From the moment we met, I knew I didn’t deserve him, but I lied to myself and said I did. Now he knows the truth. His resulting silence speaks volumes. I don’t know how much time passes while I lay here crying into my pillow. The fabric is soaked, my eyes are swollen, and the ache in my chest feels like a Mac truck slammed into me.

Several hours later, I hear my sisters yelling excitedly about something downstairs. Mom’s voice follows soon after, something like “Maddie’s car is here!”

There’s a soft knock on my door and then it opens. I don’t look over; I just keep my head buried in my pillow.

“Maddie?” Mom says. “Are you okay? When did you get home?”

“I’d like to be alone, please.”

She’s quiet for a moment, and I turn to see if she left and just didn’t shut the door. But she’s still there, a little line creasing down her forehead.

“Honey!” she says, rushing into my room. “You’re crying! What happened?”

I shake my head, turn around and hide in the soaking wet pillow. I wish I could tap my heels together three times and disappear. Starla says something from the hallway, and Mom asks Emma to take her down to the living room. “We’ll just be a minute,” she tells her.

Mom’s hand touches my back. “Maddie, tell me what’s wrong.”

I take in a shaking breath and then roll over to face her. Mom and I have been through so many things together. I’ve always been her rock when she needed me, and she’s always been mine. But I’ve never screwed up this badly.

She gives me this small smile, probably hoping it’ll coax me out of being silent. Her hand brushes hair from my face, and I notice the sparkle from her engagement ring. Her wedding is in a few days. I can’t unload all of this drama on her now. She doesn’t need it.

“I’m fine, Mom.”

Her eyes narrow. “I’m not an idiot, Maddie. Is it boy trouble? Did you and Colby fight?”

I look away, tears forming in my eyes again. Mom makes this comforting sound as she runs her fingers through my hair like she used to do when I was younger and had the flu.

“It’s worse than that,” I murmur, looking at my fingers. “I lied to him. I lied to everyone.”

Mom quirks an eyebrow. “How’d you do that?”

I decide to tell her everything. Maybe she’ll have something comforting to say, some way to console me after this nightmare. Or maybe she’ll be so pissed she’ll disown me. Whatever the case, I take a deep breath and tell her the biggest lie of my life.

#

Two days pass. I don’t go to school out of total mortification, even though my mother thinks I should just face the hell that I’ve brought onto myself. She wasn’t too pissed at me, but she did yell at Landon for encouraging me to go along with the lie. That part freaked me out a lot. They’re about to get married, and we’re about to get to live here happy and safe and taken care of for as long as that lasts. When she yelled at him, I feared it would all fall apart and we’d be kicked out.

Landon didn’t react like I thought he would. He apologized to her, and to me, He said he should have thought it through more before he encouraged me to do something stupid. And then Mom and Landon made up and we all had a great dinner together with Pam and my sisters. If I hadn’t already known for sure that Landon is better than any other man in Mom’s past, now I know.

I’m faking like everything is slowly getting better, but I know I’ll have to go back to school soon enough. I can’t, though. I just can’t.

Colby has ignored me for two entire days. He hasn’t sent a single text, or called, or even posted anything to social media. I’ve been too scared to talk to him, too afraid of what mean thing he might reply. I guess it’s safe to say we’re broken up now, and the very thought sends me into a darkness so painful I don’t ever want to get out of bed.

I had everything I could ever want, and I ruined it.

Colby doesn’t want me, not anymore. He wanted the girl he thought I was. By now, surely they all know I was the trailer trash loser who lived in the pedophile house. I might still live in a house in Shady Heights, but I am no longer a member of this world.

I’ll dye my hair back brown, I’ll trade in my new clothes for simple ones, and I’ll go back to school and pretend it never happened. Maybe that way the M’s and the football players and Colby himself will be able to forget about me.

Maybe it’ll be easier this way.

The doorbell chimes around four o’clock on Wednesday. It’s probably a delivery of more wedding stuff. We’ve had packages arrive daily for a week now.

I’m lying in my bed, still wearing the pajamas I slept in, my hair a messy pile on top of my head. The only way I could think of to remove all traces of my old life was to do a factory reset on my phone, after deleting Instagram of course. Now, instead of Colby and me smiling at the camera as my wallpaper, I have a default image of a sunflower.

Too bad my brain still remembers the way it used to be. If only I could do a factory reset on my memories.

My door pushes open without warning, a sure sign that Emma or Starla are wandering in to play with me.

“Not now, kiddo,” I say over my shoulder as I heave a sigh.

“I’m not a kid.”

Mindy’s voice freezes me in place. “Why are you here?” I say, not looking back.

She walks around my bed, her perfume fruity and strong. She’s holding a backpack, which she heaves onto my bed and unzips, revealing a six pack of beer. She takes one, cracks the top and hands it to me.

I sit up in bed, gazing at the cold beer in my hand. I lift an eyebrow, but Mindy just stares at me for a beat.

She says, “Tell me everything.”