In Search of Eden (54 page)

“Why do you feel you ought to leave?” David asked.

She shifted uneasily and glanced toward Eden. “I just thought it would be easier for everyone.”

“I'm all right with your staying,” David said. “How about you, Sarah?”

Sarah looked at the hope on Miranda's face and felt the seesaw of emotion. She could send her away and be safe. Or she could take a risk and love. She needed only a moment to make her decision, for the truth was, Sarah's heart, for the first time she could remember, was full, positively overflowing, and she knew that she was safe, that she had no need to grasp and hold things so closely that they suffocated. In that moment she felt she would
love nothing better than to know Miranda was close, building a life with people she loved, able to be a part of theirs someday.

“Yes, it's absolutely all right,” she said. “It's the right thing to do.”

David smiled sardonically. “Besides which, if you leave, I think my brother will probably grow moss waiting for you to come back.”

Miranda shook her head, and her face darkened with regret. “I think he might prefer it if I left.”

“Oh, please,” David said. “I haven't seen him so smitten since Daisy Ferguson in the second grade.”

Sarah saw a twinkle in his eye that hadn't been there three months ago. A smile played on his lips.

Miranda's face lit with hope, and she looked so much like Eden that Sarah grinned with recognition.

“Do you think so?” she asked.

“I know so,” David assured her.

“Joseph has learned a lot about forgiveness,” Sarah confirmed.

Miranda looked joyous and childlike. “Well, then, maybe I'll be seeing you,” she said.

David nodded and smiled. Sarah felt something true and right settle down into its proper place in her heart.

Eden came toward them then, sniffling furiously and looking determined not to cry. She went to Miranda. The two of them looked at each other for a moment; then Eden flung herself at Miranda, and with her arms encircling her waist, she buried her face near her heart. Miranda's hands hesitated over Eden's head for a minute, then finally closed over her curly dark hair. She laid her own head on top of Eden's and rocked her softly from side to side. Both were crying. David was crying. Sarah was crying, and for a split second, Sarah wondered whose resolve would crumble first. She hesitated, vacillated. Was it wrong not to tell?

Miranda made the decision for them all.

“Good grief, Charlie Brown,” she said, giving Eden a last squeeze and a smacking kiss on the top of the head. “We're acting
like we'll never see each other again.”

“You're not leaving?” Eden tipped her head up and looked at Miranda with joy.

Miranda blew out a little puff of air and shook her head. “Just between you and me and the cat box, your uncle Joseph sorely needs somebody to straighten him out, and I intend to have a go at it.”

Eden grinned. David grinned. Grady grinned. Sarah felt her face lighten with her spirit.

“So you'll be here the next time I come?”

And in that second between Eden's question and Miranda's answer, Sarah wondered if she would take the opportunity to give herself an emergency exit.

“I will be here,” Miranda said firmly, meeting her daughter's eyes without a blink. “I will be here whenever you need me. You will always know where to find me.”

Eden gave her one last hug, then slung her backpack down onto the ground. She unzipped it with practiced precision and drew out her Kenwood police radio. “Here,” she said, handing it to Miranda with a mischievous smile. “You can borrow it until Thanksgiving. That way you can keep up with him better.”

Miranda laughed. She held out her hand. Eden slapped it, and then they linked fingers. “Friends forever?” she asked.

“Friends forever,” Eden answered.

Then Eden turned toward Sarah, and Sarah saw relief and peace on her face, and in that moment Sarah wondered what she knew. She wondered, for a fraction of a second, if she had known all along. She wondered until Eden came and stood quietly beside her and took her hand, then reached across and took David's, and they were joined again, a threefold strand that would not be easily broken, no matter what came against them.

“Let's go home,” Sarah said firmly. And they turned to leave.

After a few seconds David paused and wheeled halfway back around. “Remember,” he said, calling back to Miranda, “the luckiest people are the ones who don't walk away.”

“That's easy for you to say,” Miranda quipped, then looked horrorstruck, realizing what she'd said.

And as Sarah watched, David stared at her for a moment, then threw back his head and laughed, a sound of pure, sweet joy.

chapter
60

J
oseph drove into Camp Berachah and parked his truck. Flick jumped out of the back and ran down toward the water. Joseph got out and walked onto the lodge's porch, then sat down on the steps and looked around. The early morning air was moist, the grass green from last week's rains. He could hear the breeze shushing through the leaves of the trees, and the sunlight sparkled off the waters of the lake. He remembered his boyhood, his father, and he felt a sense of connection to him that he hadn't felt in many years. He supposed it had to do with making his peace with David, with letting go of the bitterness and coming back to God.

He felt joy that he had work to do. He had a small piece of the earth to subdue, and he would try to do it well. He thought of himself as a servant of God now, a messenger, not to put too fine a point on it. Oh, he knew he was just a creek that flowed into the ocean, but he took a clean, quiet pleasure in knowing he would do his part, sure and true. This was his post, a humble place, but his few miles of earth to tend and guard and keep, and oddly enough, sitting here on this porch that his father had built, he had the feeling that this place was where he belonged—here
in this very spot—and that once again he would hear it ring with joy and laughter.

He got up and walked around the campground and inspected the work that Tommy DeSpain had done. It was all solid construction. The craftsmanship was fine. He walked past the chapel and the cabins, the teepees, down to the dock, then to the house where his parents had raised him and his brother. It needed a new roof. The foundation was good. It would need painting inside and a good cleaning. But nothing was beyond restoration. This he knew for certain.

He opened up the lodge, went inside, found the coffee, and put on a pot. He went to the shelf in the corner and took out the Bible that was there, then sat down and read, the only sound the gurgling of the coffee and the turning of the tissue-thin pages. The book of Romans. He read it carefully, following each thread of logic, seeing again the inescapable conclusions of lostness and law, then allowing himself to be carried along on the current and speed of the apostle's relentless, methodical ascent to the ringing declaration of mercy and grace.
What shall we say to all this?
he read, and he could almost hear Paul's voice, booming.
If God be for us, who can be against us? He who did not withhold or spare His own son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all other things?

He bowed his head and prayed, then raised it and opened his eyes. The windows were bare. The sun streamed in like liquid gold. He sat quietly and watched the room fill with light, the smell and sound of his bubbling coffee rousing him from his thoughts. He set aside his Bible, poured himself a mug of the strong black brew, then walked back to the lake. Flick bounded along beside him. There was a good place for a garden there in that sunny spot. He would plant one next year. It was time something grew again in this rich dark earth.

He prayed the Lord's Prayer, then added one of his own. And he had a feeling that today he would know her answer. Whether she had left. Or whether she had stayed. He had gone past the
small apartment last night to speak to her, but it had been dark. He had gone home and prayed and trusted now that the answer would be right.

Miranda watched them drive away and then quickly, before she lost her bearings or resolve, she got into the car. She drove to the campground, through the gate, and was not surprised to see Joseph there, sitting on the edge of the porch, watching and waiting. And she dared to hope he was waiting for her.

She parked the car and stepped onto the crunching gravel. He got up and started toward her. As the distance between them closed, she could see his usually flinty face was soft, and it wore an expression of joy. He began walking quickly, eating up the ground with his long strides. She began to run, and finally he was here, and she threw herself toward him. He caught her neatly, stumbling only slightly as she landed in his arms. The two of them laughed as they balanced each other, and she realized how right and natural it felt to have his arms around her.

“You're still here,” he said after a moment during which their attention was otherwise engaged.

“Yes,” she said simply, kissing him again.

“Are you staying?” he asked, his face clouding with doubt.

She sniffed and pushed away from him slightly. “That doesn't sound very proper to me at all.”

He looked a little unsure. “What do you mean, not proper?” he asked.

“I mean my mama always told me, ‘Don't make a commitment to a man who's not willing to make a commitment to you, Dora Mae.”'

He looked relieved, grinned, and pulled her back close to him. “Would you like something in writing?”

“Well, I would like to at least know I have a little job security.
I happen to be unemployed, and these temporary jobs are wearing on my last nerve.”

“I have an opening for a file clerk,” he said with a grin. “At least until next summer when the regular clerk comes back. If you want it, I'll have the paper work ready for you first thing Monday morning. As for the other, I was thinking of a more romantic setting.”

“No way,” she said, and she was amused to see him again look uncertain.

“No?”

“No,” she said. “Not Monday morning. You need to take some time off. When was the last time you took a vacation?”

He relaxed, smiled in amusement as she teased him, and slipped his arm around her waist as they walked back up to the lodge.

“You know what's wrong with you?” she said authoritatively. “You need to take a trip.”

“Is that so?”

“That is so. Have you ever been to the Northwest? You would love it! There are mountains and lakes and woods and the ocean, everything you could possibly want.”

She kept talking, and he kept listening, nodding his head from time to time, a smile playing on his lips, and as she kept step beside him, he steadily led her home.

Dear Reader:

Eden.
We all long for it, whether we have ever set foot in a church or experienced anything even close to it in this life. If we're human, there seems to be a desire hardwired in each of us for perfection, especially in our closest relationships.

The characters who populate the fictional world of
In Search of Eden
are on the quest for redemption, meaning, and love. Miranda believes if she can only undo the mistakes of the past by finding and reclaiming her lost child, her heart will finally be full. Miranda's mother, Noreen, seeks to find perfection through flawless performance—and by trusting her heart to no one. Joseph, a small-town cop, refuses to accept anyone who is flawed, including himself.

In the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia—as near to Eden as any place I can imagine—in a quaint, historic town, these characters learn what pastor and author David Seamands so eloquently explains: “Life can never be fully perfect again . . . at least not here on this planet and in the sense it originally was. . . . Here and now, life can be perfect only in a new and different sense, in the way of God's freely given grace.” Only as the characters in this story learn to accept and forgive one another and finally themselves do they find the peace and safety they're seeking.

I hope as you read this book you'll be captivated by the journeys of the characters and enriched by their stories. But I also hope we can all stop working so hard to make everything perfect, including ourselves, and instead love and be loved by the bumpy, imperfect people around us.

In Him,
Linda Nichols

Discussion Questions:

In Search of Eden

Linda Nichols

1. What did the epigraph “He will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord” say to you before you read the story? What does it mean to you now? Have you ever had a wilderness or desert experience that God turned into a garden of Eden?
   
2. Nurse Wanda, disregarding the instructions given by her patient's mother, allowed the young girl to see her baby for a few moments before it was taken away by the adoptive parents. Discuss Wanda's action. Was it right or wrong? Why? What would you have done in the situation?
   
3. Discuss your reaction to Dorrie's mother, Noreen. Did she do the right thing in making adoption arrangements? Were there any other options? Was it right for her to never tell Dorrie anything about the baby? Did your opinion of Noreen change at any time? If so, when and why?
   
4. Noreen said Dorrie inherited her wandering spirit from her father. Do you think it was an inherited characteristic? If not, where did it come from? What events influenced or molded Dorrie's character?
   
5. Miranda (formerly Dorrie) felt an enormous amount of guilt regarding her child, that somehow she'd abandoned her or him. Was that a credible feeling? Do you know of anyone who has given up a child for adoption? If so, how does she now feel about her decision? Discuss the various emotional
   ramifications of making such a decision—or having it made for you.
   
6. Eden knew she was adopted. Was it right that she had to keep it a secret? Was Eden right in her assessment that her mother wished she'd never adopted her? Discuss their relationship. How and why was it different from Eden's relationship with her dad?
   
7. For eleven years Joseph held bitterness against David and Sarah for their act of betrayal. How did this change him? Why was it so difficult for him to forgive them? Do you know anyone who is still holding a grudge for an offense committed years ago? If so, discuss how it has affected that person's life.
   
8. The reader is given hints that all is not well in Grady Adair's life, but Eden took him at face value and became his friend. Discuss what it must have been like for this young boy to pretend everything was all right when he knew his dad was scamming gullible old folks. Have you ever been loyal to someone you knew was involved in wrongdoing? Either by choice or by force?
   
9. Ruth Williams had suffered the loss of her husband and then the heartbreak of her two sons' estrangement, yet she was a strong Christian. She put on the armor of God in prayer daily. So why, then, was she vulnerable to Johnny Adair? What does that teach us?
   
10. Miranda decided not to tell Eden that she was her biological mother. Was that the right decision? Imagine yourself in her position. Could you have done what she did after finally finding your child? Can you think of any better solution?
    
11. For Miranda, the literal meaning of the title
    In Search of Eden
    means a search for her child. What deeper meaning might it have for her? For Joseph? For Sarah? For other characters? What does
    Eden
    mean to you? Are you in search of Eden?
    
12. Noreen is an example of someone who is a nominal Christian yet lives in misery. She reflects with pride at one point
    that she has been scrupulous all her life about obeying the law. Joseph is also dedicated to the law. Do you see any applications here in a spiritual sense? What are the consequences of living by the law instead of by grace? How are these characters' choices different, and to what extent are they able to receive grace?
    
13. Miranda's counselor encourages her to enjoy God's good gifts in His presence. Miranda realized some people are like the frightened dog who fearfully protected its food. What caused this distortion of God's character? Do you struggle with the concept of God as a Giver rather than a taker? What does John 10:10 say about this?
    
14. Was life on planet Earth more like Eden in days gone by? Were times then better or easier? Are certain places more like Eden? How about Christian communities or sects who withdraw from the world and live separately? Do you feel they are legitimate or false?