In the Beginning... (14 page)

Mickey nodded. His fear for her was evident
in his face and tone. It had her stomach knotting, as she recalled
the reason he’d given her for converting her against her will. “Do
you still think I’m in danger?”

“I do not know. I
cannot
see
.” He
wrapped his hands around her arms and pulled her against him.
Mickey let herself rest against him for a moment. When she tried to
pull away he wouldn’t let her. Not for the longest time. “Promise
me that you will always be careful, even here. Michaela, I...”
“What?” She whispered the question against the strong beat of his
heart. “I do not know if I could go on without you. Not
anymore.”

She was quiet for the rest of the evening,
and Theo wondered if he’d spoken his fear and need too soon. He
hadn’t meant to frighten her with the intensity of his feelings.
That had never been his intention. She’d wanted to eat in the suite
and that was fine with him. He’d ordered their dinner and they’d
eaten almost in silence. When dinner was over, he’d suggested they
watch a movie together. He couldn’t see the screen, but he could
hear the actions. She’d agreed, but he knew her attention wasn’t on
the movie.

But she didn’t scoot away from him when he
settled onto the couch beside her. When her shoulder bumped his, he
closed his eyes and breathed her scent in. And counted to fifty. To
keep himself from grabbing her and pulling her over his lap.

He had waited so long to have her so
close...

Her head landed on his
shoulder, her breathing evened out. She was asleep against him as
if it was the most natural thing in her world. For a moment
he
couldn’t breathe as the
rush of emotion threatened to strangle him. He’d waited so long for
her, had faith that she would one day be with him. Now that he’d
actually had her next to him, how was it that he had done
it?

How had he been able to keep his faith so
strong for six hundred years?

Those six hundred years of strength were all
that kept him from pulling his female even closer. He’d never felt
so weak.

“Michaela...”

She didn’t respond. What was he supposed to
do? He could not leave her to sleep on the couch throughout the
night. Not when his bed waited only twenty feet away. He stood and
carefully lifted his female into his arms. She snuggled her head
into his neck, her lips just a hair’s breadth from his skin. Her
arms slipped behind his head and she clung to him. He closed his
unseeing eyes for a moment as he stood there taking in the
sensations that surrounded him.

She felt perfect in his arms.

He carried her into the
bedroom, taking more care than usual as he moved through the rooms
he’d called home for so long. He did not want to jostle her or hurt
her in anyway. He stopped moving when his legs hit the edge of his
mattress. He lowered his
Rajni
to the surface, then carefully pulled the scarf
free from where she’d tied it around her waist; he shifted her
slightly, then slid the silk blanket down. She sighed as he slipped
the blanket up to her shoulders.

He stood over her for several long moments,
not wanting to leave her. Not just yet. He took a deep breath, then
forced himself to return to the living area. He would not share her
bed until she asked it of him.

He’d made a vow and he would keep it.

***

Mickey held her breath while she watched him
stand beside the bed. What would he do next? Would he slip into the
bed beside her? Would he break his promise?

His face was determined when he took a step
backward, away from the bed. Then he took another and another. She
heard his sigh. He hadn’t wanted to leave the room, to let her have
the bed to herself. But he’d done it.

Once again, he’d kept his word.

Mickey got her chance to finish the journal
early the next morning. The entries were more of the same until she
got to the last few pages.

My dearest little love,

I hurt for you so. I hope you never learn
what it is to be alone like I have been. I witnessed a friend find
his Rajni today. They were beautiful together—he so strong and a
fierce warrior, she a sweet and fierce woman of great heart and
intelligence. I am happy for them, of course. But I miss having a
Rajni of my own. As this war continues to rage around me, this
battle that the Goddess dictated I should be a part of, I wonder
how much longer until the men of your race reach the nigh on
impossible and Herculean task of reaching the moon?

You might as well be on the moon; could any
greater distance between us but time and space exist?

My soul bleeds for you...I
am not sure how much longer I can go on without you.
I do not know if I
can
go on without you.

The moon above me mocks all the love I have
for you. I can hear his cruel, cold words, echoing the beating of
mine heart. Were only he as dark as the pain that fills my
soul...

Mickey hurt for him. His loneliness had shown
through every page of the journal. So had his strength.

As she closed the book on
that last page, her heart was flooded with two questions. Did she
believe
she
was the
woman he longed for? And what was she going to do about it, if she
was?

“Michaela? Are you in here?”

He stood in the door to the small sitting
room. “Yes. What is it?”

He was pale, but resolute when he approached
the couch and sank down beside her after feeling around the small
space. His hand landed on her knee and he squeezed. Apprehension
had her throat tightening. Something was happening. And she knew
she wasn’t going to like it. “There is something I wish to discuss
with you.”

“What is it? Tell me.” Mickey shifted
slightly so that she could face him. Her hand tightened on the
small leather bound journal. “Has something happened?”

“You may say that. I’ve come
to the decision that you will be returning home to your family. It
is where you will be happiest and I cannot bear to be the cause of
any more
un
happiness you experience.”

“Just like that?”

“I do not understand. I thought you would be
elated at this news.”

“I am. I need to be with my family, I can’t
be kept prisoner indefinitely. But why have you decided that all of
a sudden I am free? I thought your Goddess had decreed...”

“Screw the Goddess! I can’t stand knowing you
are not happy here! Three days from now you will be returned to
your home, most likely along with your cousins and your sister.
We’ll use tomorrow and the day after to teach you how to survive as
a Dardaptoan. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have matters I need to
attend to.”

He stood and walked to the door. His
movements were firm and determined. Resolute. He meant it, then. He
was sending her away. Just like that. The change was so quick
Mickey had trouble processing what it meant for her. For him.
“But...”

He was gone before she said it. Before she
even realized that she mostly wanted to stay.

Mickey stayed where she was
for several long moments, the book clutched tightly to her chest.
His written words kept reverberating through her mind.
My soul bleeds for you...I am not sure how much
longer I can go on without you...It is my job to protect you and
love you, not to sadden your heart... I am not sure how much longer
I can go on without you...I am not sure how much longer I can go on
without you...

Mickey’s tears hit the leather book before
she even realized she was crying. It was several long minutes
before the tears stopped.

A hand brushed against her forehead,
startling her. She hadn’t heard anyone enter the room. How long had
Emily been there?

Emily’s face was concerned, and her eyes sad.
“Where’s Mal and Josey?”

Mickey didn’t want to be
with any of her cousins, or her sister. She wanted to be
with
him.
“I don’t
know. I haven’t seen them all day.” She wiped at the tears on her
face, then wiped the moisture off the cover of his journal
carefully. She didn’t want her tears to damage the book.

“Mickey? What’s the matter? Did something
happen?”

Besides her being kidnapped
and turned into a vampire, then falling in love with the vampire
who’d written the journal, who’d been responsible for these things
in the first place? No. Nothing else had happened but the complete
shattering of everything Mickey knew. What would Emily say if she
told her that? “Yes...He’s sending me
away.
”

What would that do to
him?
What would her
leaving do to
her
?
She didn’t want to be away from him.

Emily sat beside her on the couch. “As
opposed to letting you go?

Where’s he sending you?”

“Home. Back to my dad.”

“And that’s a bad thing? I was told the same
thing.”

Mickey nodded, breath catching. “Don’t hate
me, Em.”

“I’ll never hate you.” “Why would I?”

“I want to stay with Theo. I don’t think I
can leave him.”

“Do you think you love him?”

Mickey nodded before wiping away a tear. “I
know I do.”

Emily’s eyes were filled with
compassion...and understanding. “And have you told him that?”

“No. He was so sure that sending me away
would make me happy. So insistent that it was the right thing to
do. And what about Mal, Becca, and Rand and my dad? They’d all hate
me.” How could they ever understand? Mickey wasn’t sure she
understood it herself.

“They won’t hate you. Everybody just wants
you to be happy. And if you can be happy with a
six-hundred-year-old vampire, then you should stay with him.”

“But you’re leaving, and probably Mal and
Josey, too.” Would she be the only one who stayed? What would the
rest of their family think of that? Would they see her as a
traitor?

“I told him I wasn’t leaving without all of
you. I never counted on you wanting to stay.”

“I do.” And she did. At least until she
figured out just what it was she felt for Theo.

“Then you will and we’ll make it work. But
first, you’ll have to tell Theo how you feel. I think it will make
him happy.”

“I hope. He’s been alone for
over six hundred years, waiting for me, Em. For
me
. I can’t just walk away from that,
from him, and leave him alone like that again.”

Mickey sat where she was for
close to an hour after her cousin left her. She held the journal
like a shield against her chest…
I am not
sure how much longer I can go on without you...

If she left, what would it
mean for
him?

***

She was on her way to his suite to ask him
those questions when the sound of screaming filled the halls. She
ran toward the sound, recognizing Emily’s voice over the others.
What had happened?

Aodhan passed her, as did Cormac and Rydere.
They ran toward the gardens and Mickey followed them when she saw
Theo with them.

Theo blocked her before she could follow the
others into the gardens.

“Michaela, no!”

“But Emily!”

“They will help her!”

Mickey clung to him as she
stared at the monsters in the garden. Wolves that turned into men.
The Lupoiux the journal had described? Horrible. Hideous.
But
why
were they
inside the
inner
gardens? Theo had told her there was no outside entrance to
the courtyard. How had the beasts gotten inside, and what—or
who—
were they
after?

Mickey’s knees nearly buckled when one of the
guards outside the door pushed Emily through the doors. Theo
grabbed Emily and pulled her close. Mickey helped him support her
cousin. She was barely aware of what Emily said, or of the
questions Theo threw toward Emily. Mickey held the smaller woman
and rocked her. Emily kept screaming for Josey, and tears flooded
Mickey’s eyes as she put it together in those quick seconds between
Emily being pushed inside and Cormac running by holding Josey.

They’d been after Josey. And they’d gotten
her. Hurt her.

But
why?

“Theo, will she be ok?” Mickey whispered the
question as several guards tried to pull Emily away from where she
watched outside the window. Was the man who’d taken Emily out
there? Mickey thought Rydere had run by, but with so many men
dressed in royal white, how was she supposed to tell?

But instinctively she knew he was, and knew
that Emily hurt just as much as Mickey would have if it had been
Theo out there battling the wolf monsters. Rydere was Emily’s mate,
just as Theo was hers. Hers.

Several minutes later, Mickey waited outside
the suite where they’d taken her cousin. Her best friend. Mallory
paced the hallway just outside the door. “Animals. Beasts. All of
them. If they’d just left us alone, none of this would have
happened.”

Mickey kept one ear tuned in to her sister,
but the rest of her attention was spent praying. To the God she was
familiar with. Even to the Goddess that Theo so revered. To any
power or deity that would listen. Prayed that her cousin would be
alright.

Theo was there, several long minutes later.
He pulled Mickey close and held her while they waited.

What seemed like hours passed before the
healer came out to give them an update. At her words Mickey felt
herself collapse into Theo. His arms were there and strong. Just as
she’d known they would be.