In the Face of Darkness (Lily Culpepper Book 1) (5 page)

I looked deep into the green eyes that I inherited from my father.  I desperately wanted to see something in those eyes that would remind me of the person that I used to be.  This life had taken everything that I used to be and still it wanted more.  It wanted something I didn’t think I could give.  It wanted the very last shred of humanity that was left inside me.

If I could just give into the darkness then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much.  Maybe I could feel like Tino and Endora and maybe I wouldn’t care anymore.  I just wanted to feel the way I used to feel.  I didn’t want to embrace the darkness, but I didn’t have a choice.

I cursed Jane.  If it weren’t for her I would have given in to the darkness and killed one of the other girls by now.  I had been prepared to kill before her assault distracted me.  I blamed her for making me stop and think about the kill.  She had said that I was no different from the other vampires in the room, and she had been right; but I didn’t want to be like the other vampires.  I didn’t want to kill anyone.  I wanted to be the person I used to be.  I wanted to be the girl with friends whose only worry was whether or not someone would ask me to the prom. 

It wasn’t like I was making a difference by not killing.  Every one of those girls died, and it didn’t matter if I killed them or not.  If I didn’t make a kill soon, Endora would have no choice but to put a stake in my heart.

I don’t know why, but just then I thought about Matthias and his promise to take me away.  I laughed at the thought.  Did he really think he could save me from this life?  He apparently had never dealt with vampires.  No vampire could ever be free from their masters, and if their master died the blood bond would just be passed to another vampire.

I only managed to put Matthias out of my mind by thinking about the meeting with the Queen.  I always knew that if I lived as a vampire long enough I would have to meet the Queen, but I had hoped that it wouldn’t be for a long time.  From what I knew about the Queen she was not to be taken lightly.  She had taken control of the vampire council during World War I, and she was not well liked.

I needed to understand what potential Endora and Castor thought I possessed, and I needed to understand what Castor had said about me discovering what I am.  I didn’t understand why I was so important to both Endora and Matthias.  There was more to this story that I didn’t know.  I had to find out what everyone else seemed to know.  What was I? I wondered.  I felt like Matthias knew more than he had told me.  Even though I knew I shouldn’t go meet him I had to go.  I had to know what he knew.

CHAPTER 5

It was just after the sun had set, and the sky was still glowing a bright pink from the rays of the sun.  I liked looking at the sky just after sunset.  This red and pink light was the only glimpse of sun light had I would ever see.  It was a reminder that the sun still existed even if I couldn’t see it.  I’d had pale skin even as a human, and I spent a lot of time hiding from the sun.  I wished I could go back to that time.  I would bathe myself in sunlight every chance I got.  No one could explain what it was like to never see the sun.  It was like there was no happiness in the world; there was only darkness, and the monsters lived in the darkness.

The graveyard was quiet except for the rhythmic chirping of nocturnal insects and the gentle swaying of leafs in the wind.  I could still leave and he would never know.  But, I had to know what I was, and what he and Endora wanted from me.  I couldn’t go to the Queen without knowing what I was.

“I knew you would come” I saw Matthias leaning against the trunk of a tree as I walked deeper into the graveyard.

“Nothing has changed, I’m still not going with you” I said.

“Then why did you come?” he asked.

“I need you to tell me what I am, and why you are here” I told him.

“I can’t tell you that” he said. 

“Can’t or won’t?” I asked.

“I can’t tell you, but if you come with me I’ll show you what you are” he said.  “I’ll show you a different life” he said.  “You weren’t meant for this life.  You were meant for more” he said.

“It doesn’t matter what life I was meant for, this is the life I have, and you can’t change that.  You can’t change what I am” I told him.  “I need to know what I am before I go before the Queen” I told him.

“No, you can’t go before the Queen” he said.

“We’re leaving tonight.  I need to know what I am before I go” I told him.

“No” he said.  “You can’t go there.  You can’t go anywhere near her” he said.

“I don’t have a choice” I said.

“You can come with me” he said.

“We would never be safe.  We would always be running from Endora.  That’s not a life I want for you” I said.

“There’s an Island” he said.  “No one will find us there.  You will be safe there” he said.  “Please just come with me”.

“I…” he was kissing me then.  His lips were full and soft as they moved over my own lips.  Before I knew what was happening, I was kissing him.  Kissing him was a familiar action.  Years ago we had kissed often; but this was different.  We were different.  We weren’t wide-eyed teenagers anymore.  There was a passion in that kiss that hadn’t been there before.  I would have done anything to make that kiss last forever.  I would have done anything to be with him now.  I wanted him and nothing else mattered.

“You’re going to come with me now, if I have to drag you kicking a screaming” he said.  I was tempted to watch him try.

“Yes” was all I could say and it was enough.  I didn’t know if we would make it to this Island, but going with Matthias was the best chance I had at finding out what I was.  Endora’s wrath was a risk I had to take.

CHAPTER 6

“We don’t have a lot of time, and if you want to know what you are we need to go see someone” he said.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“There is only one person who can show you who you are” he said.

“I thought we were going to the Island” I said.

“We will, but first I promised you that I would show you what you are” he said.  I thought about asking more questions, but I got the impression that I wasn’t getting any more information out of him. 

I caught myself watching Matthias as he drove.  I was confused about how I felt about him.  I barely knew who he was now.  He could be completely different from the Matthias I knew ten years ago.  I also didn’t know what his motivations were and that made him dangerous.  He said he worked for an organization that could keep me safe on their Island.

I didn’t want him to catch me watching him, so I turned away to look out the window.  He claimed that he could save me.  It was tempting to believe everything that he told me, but I knew that it would only make it harder for me when it turned out to be false.  When Endora found us and killed him I would be heartbroken, but I had to try.  I knew he wasn’t just going to stop trying.  He had said he would die trying, but I hoped that wouldn’t happen.  I just hoped that when Endora found us Matthias would be spared.

I knew that nothing good could come from what I was feeling.  There were only two possible outcomes.  I could fall in love with Matthias, he would not feel the same way about me, and I would have my heart broken. Or, he could feel the same way and I would have to go back to Endora and spend the rest of my unnaturally long life missing him.

Matthias wasn’t kidding about the long drive.  The clock on the dash of the old Ford truck that Matthias drove didn’t work, but I guessed that we had been driving for over an hour before Matthias brought the truck to a stop in front of a street lined with small shops.

“Fortunes Told Here” I read with just a touch of sarcasm as we approached the shop.

“She only pretends to be a fake fortune teller, but she is really has the sight” Matthias told me.

“So you feel the need to see the future?” I asked.

“She doesn’t only see the future.  She sees everything that a person is, was, and will be” he said as we walked into the fortune teller’s shop.  The first thing I noticed as was the sweet heavy fragrance of incense.  Heavy dark blue curtains covered the walls giving the room an otherworldly quality.  Across the room there was a doorframe laced with beads that fell in a curtain to the floor.  There was a sign on the second beaded curtain that stated the fortune teller was with a client.  Matthias sat down on the blue velvet couch in the waiting room as if he had been in the shop often, and I sat down next to him.

I looked up when I heard the sound of the beaded curtain being opened.  A young woman left the fortune teller’s shop with a worried look on her face.  I thought that whatever the fortune teller had told her couldn’t have been good.  I wondered how she ever made any money if she always told her clients the truth.  People didn’t go to fortune tellers for the truth; they went for the pretty lies about how their lives will turn out ok.

“I only take one customer at a time, and its twenty dollars for a reading” a tall, thin middle aged woman dressed in blue silk scarfs said as she walked across the waiting room.

“She is the one here for a reading” Matthias said.  “She needs to know what she is”.

“She is a vampire, and I don’t read vampires” she said.

“You know she is more than a vampire” Matthias said.

“I know that she could be more, but right now she is only a vampire” she said.  “I can show her what she could be, but it is going to cost you”.

“I assumed as much; you can take your usual fee” he said.

“For this I want more” she said.

“No, you’re not getting more” Matthias said.

“I want twice my usual amount.  That’s my price.  If you are not willing to pay then leave and stop wasting my time” she said.

“What does she want?” I asked.

“The same thing you take from humans; his life force” she said.

“You want his blood?” I asked and she made a disgusted face.

“Drinking blood is such a crude way of transferring life force” she said.

“Won’t you die if she takes your life force?” I asked.

“My life force will replenishes itself.  I’ll pay your price” he said.

“Can you take my life force?” I asked.  The fortune teller laughed.

“You aren’t alive, so you don’t have a life force.  If you had your own life force you wouldn’t need to drink blood” she said.

“Just get it over with” Matthias said.  She put her right hand just inches from his chest over his heart.  Then she rolled her head in a small circle and closed her eyes.  Matthias gripped my arm as I felt his body slack as his life force was being drawn from him.  When she was done I felt more than heard him take a steadying breath.

“How long will it take you to replenish?” I asked.

“Not long” he said thru a strained voice.  “Show her” he said to the fortune teller.

“Come with me” she turned to walk to the back room where she met with clients.  I reluctantly followed her into the small candle lit room that held only a small table and two chairs.  The fortune teller sat in one of the chairs and she motioned for me to sit in the other.  She rested her hands on the table with her palms up.  “We have to be touching” she said as she motioned for me to put my hands on top of hers.  She didn’t look like she wanted to touch me.  I felt her flinch as our hands touched, but then I felt the power radiating from her.

I felt the weight of waves crashing against me.  I tried to call out, but the weight grew constant as I felt something pulling me down.  As a vampire I didn’t need to breathe, but it was still an impulse my body did not like being taken away.  I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into the water until I was standing on the ocean floor.

I felt the waves the creatures left in their wake before I saw them.  I call them creatures because I have never seen anything like them.  They were some type of fish with long bodies and curves like a woman.  They looked like they were playing a game that I didn’t understand the rules to.  I watched them play until I saw her. 

She was so still I could barely see her, but now she was looking at me with a deep gaze that bore into me.  She sat on what looked to be a throne.  She looked more human than the fish creatures, but she had a fish tail that was covered with gleaming scales.  We didn’t speak a word.  She just looked at me, but that look said more than words ever could.  She was a part of me, and I was a part of her.  Then I felt her telling me that I didn’t belong here.  I was part of her, but I didn’t belong with her.  Just as suddenly as I had traveled to the ocean floor I was back in the small room with the fortune teller.

“What am I?” I asked.

“You’re a vampire” she said.

“Everyone else seems to think I’m more” I asked.

“You were meant to be the
descendant of the Water Elemental, but now you are a vampire and you can’t be both.  You are choosing to be a vampire” she said.

“I don’t want to be a vampire.  How do I chose to not be a vampire?” I asked.

“You believe you are just a vampire so you are just a vampire” she said.

“How do I believe something that is not true?” I asked.

“You have to accept that what you believe to be true is only true because you believe it to be” she said.  “I’m tired, leave me now”.   I walked out of the small room to find Matthias sitting in the same spot I left him in.  He looked weak.  He said that he could replenish his life force, but I wondered how long it would take.  He had given of himself so that I could know what I am.  But, I still didn’t know what or who I was.  The fortune teller had said that I would be a vampire until I believed I was something else, but I didn’t know how to do that.  I didn’t know how to be anything but a vampire.

“So now you know what you are?” Matthias said.

"I'm just a vampire" I said.

“You’re the descendant of the Water Elemental” he said.

“She said I couldn’t be both a vampire and the
descendant of the Water Elemental” I said.

“You’re being a vampire is unfortunate, but it doesn’t negate what you are” he said.