In the Forest of Light and Dark (14 page)

   That night I slept on the tawny-colored sofa in the living room that contained all the photographs. I don’t think I could have slept any more soundly either. As I drifted off. I could still feel the warmth of the static electricity generated from the storm coursing through my veins like a drug.
     As I slept, I dreamt that I was soaring high above Mount Harrison. Way above the forest like an angel or some other deity. At another point I was also back above Saraland looking down on all my friends’ homes. It felt peaceful being up there. It felt right. As if I was a bird or maybe even an eagle soaring valiantly and righteous like a superhero ready to protect the innocent or tear apart anyone or anything that got in my way.
     And, then my phone went off. The alarm clock I had set, that is, and I was up and ready to face day two of many more to come at Mount Harrison high.

I Finally Made real Friends with a Kat
 

On my walk to school that morning I saw firsthand all the damage that the storm had done to all the houses and trees around the neighborhood. For the most part, though. It looked as if our house had gotten the worst of it. The other houses weren’t nearly as bad.
     There were a few roof shingles scattered about on some of the lawns that I saw. Plenty of broken tree branches were also down on the ground blocking parts of the roadways. While still others hanged suspended. Having been supported in the trees by larger limbs. And there was also lawn furniture toppled over everywhere. But that appeared as if the worst of it. All-in-all though. I was pretty sure Collings Avenue would survive.
     As I walked I didn’t see any strays. Having reckoned that they were still in hiding because of the storm. But I thought I heard a few of them, rustling about in the copses that flanked either side of the street.
     As I approached the school I found myself slowing down as I walked because I really was enjoying the early morning sun’s warmth on my face. It had picked up my spirits, and I thought to myself that if I could just absorb enough of it, I could use it like a battery throughout the day. Allowing me to get through dealing with the bitches.
     But, unfortunately...
Once again, I found myself staring up at the front steps of the school willing myself to go inside. It was at that moment right before I had entered through the school’s double doors that I thought of Tucker. I knew that if I was still back at home in Saraland and was ever in such a mood as the one that I had found myself right then. He would have ditched school with me in a heartbeat. We would’ve then spent the day at the beach down by the Gulf, or possibly had gone to the movies, or have done something fun together, I’m sure.
    As I stood there alone and miserable. I found myself never having missed my friends or Saraland more than I did right then, and I almost felt like kicking my own ass for feeling like I was about to cry.
     Once inside, I had made it through homeroom by staring out the windows at the squirrels yet again. Then, it was off to physics with the flamboyant Mr. McLaren. I had managed to make it there on time today and took my seat once again in the back of the room near the windows and the periodic table poster.
     After I had fidgeted about for a bit trying to make myself more comfortable in the unforgiving hardwood chair, I glanced around the room. That was when Keri Mahan came swaggering in taking a seat this time a little further away from me near the windows that were on the other side of the room.
     After sitting down. She looked back to sneer at me with pursed, pink lips and her stupid nose turned up and held high in the air. I thought I could smell the stench of her arrogance all the way on my side of the room.
     Mr. McLaren then had gotten up from his desk and went right into his spiel. He began his lecture by talking about the Big-bang theory and how the universe came into creation. He then started asking random students questions about the lecture. His query had kicked-off with a burn-out named Michael who was sitting next to Keri. The question he was asked was,
What he thought the most abundant element in the universe was?
The boy thought about it for a moment and then said, “I don’t know... Rock, I guess.” Mr. McLaren then leered down at him like a praying mantis and said to him with that prissy little head shake he likes to do, “
No, rock is not the most abundant element in the universe, Michael. Hydrogen is!”
I then watched as Michael rolled his eyes before putting his head down, shaking it slightly in disgust. If, I could’ve read Michael’s mind. I’m sure he was thinking,
fuck you, Fag.
And, I had to laugh a little on the inside at the thought.
     Mr. McLaren then turned his attentions on me after I thought he’d caught me smiling. “Miss. Singer,” he said, and Keri Mahan instantly whipped around in her chair to stare at me. “Miss. Singer, what can you tell the class about the Big-bang theory. If you would be so kind as to enlighten us with your wisdom?”
    
Awe horseshit,
I thought, as I sat upright in my seat while taking a deep breath before answering. I then tried quickly to think of something to say because all eyes were on me now. But as my mind began racing faster than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. I struggled to come up with anything. Eventually, after what had seemed like an eternally long pause. I cleared my throat and said, “It’s the theory that scientists have that all matter in the universe originated from one infinite point as the result of a cataclysmic explosion.” I had no idea if I was right or wrong, or even where that had come from. But it was most likely just something I’d tucked away in the back recesses of my brain that I had picked up from somewhere. Probably that television show with the same name.
     “That’s
oddly
correct, Miss. Singer.” Mr. McLaren said, sounding astonished.
    
That’s
oddly
correct. You dick!
I thought.
     “What do you have to add to what Miss. Singer just said, Miss. Mahan?” Mr. McLaren then said, turning his attention to Keri.
     Keri just sat there looking dumbfounded. As if she hadn’t expected to be called upon. After a few moments she finally spoke up in a low tone, “I have nothing to add.” she said. Then, Mr. McLaren asked the class if anyone else had any other explanations as to how the universe came about? And, just then, I don’t know what came over me or why I said it, but I said out loud,
“God?”
     “Yes. There’s always
him
who certain people would have you believe created the heavens and the earth in less than a week’s time, like some workaholic. Then, he sent his son down here to walk on water, eat fish, and save our souls. But the concept of God doesn’t hold any scientific water in the real physical world, Miss. Singer.” Mr. McLaren said this to me sounding snarky. As if I had just suggested something so incredibly stupid that he had no choice but to negate my previously correct answer.
     “Sure he does.”
I then said out loud once again and not fully understanding why I had opened up my mouth
yet
again. I guess, I just didn’t like his smugness. I found it irritating. “It makes about as much sense as any of the B.S. scientists are always babbling on about.” Ugh, a third time... Shut-the-hell-up, Singer.
     Mr. McLaren just stared at me. His mouth agape. Then he said, “I’m sure with you being from the Deep South. Your daddy along with the local reverend must have pounded the Bible into your brain ever since before you were born, Miss Singer. But
here, where we are a little more...
Enlightened.
We know from the evidence that we’ve gathered that the creation of the universe points more towards evolution and not some old man with a long, white beard who likes to hang out in the clouds. Oh, and who has allegedly created everything and everyone on a whim and likes to control over everything that’s ever happened in history from behind the scenes like some wizard of Oz.”
     Like a fool I kept going. “Yes, but science hasn’t been able to answer any of the major questions man has. Like why are we here, or what is life itself? And, scientist who often like to claim they know so much about
everything
are often found having been wrong and have to revise their theories all the time. At least people who have faith don’t waver in it. How can you take scientists seriously when they’re
wrong
all the time, and all they have to say to get away with always being wrong is,
In light of new evidence we have a new theory on...
”
     “That’s because new evidence comes into the light all the time, Miss. Singer.” Mr. McLaren said in a tizzy.
    
“Maybe,”
I said, giving him attitude right back. “But you made it sound like God and science can’t coincide, and I have faith they can. Like take sciences theory of the Big-bang, which may actually be the same thing as the Bible’s theory of God saying, ‘Let there be light.’ And, in bringing
both
theories together. God creating the Heavens and the Earth may be the same as all matter being created simply out of nothing.”
     “Miss. Singer, I have no doubt that you have a deep faith in your superstitions. But in the scientific community. We rely on cold, hard facts
not
faith.” Mr. McLaren then said to me in a series of little head shakes. Like belittling me was somehow going to shut me up, and not just piss me off.
     “
What’s wrong with having faith to help explain the things that you don’t yet have the evidence to explain or all the answers to?”
I asked now really wanting to provoke a controversy.
     “Because faith is hokum, Miss. Singer,”
     “NO, IT ISN’T!”
     “Well, then please explain to the class how it’s not then, huh?” Mr. McLaren demanded while now crossing his arms and leaning all his weight on one hip like how a mother would hold a child.
     “Okay, fine.” I said. “Faith is like the squirrels in my front yard.”
     “What,
Miss. Singer?”
     “Yeah, I have these squirrels livin’ in the trees in my front yard, and all day long I see them foraging for food. Every time you look at them, they’re either eatin’ somethin’ or lookin’ for somethin’ to eat. It’s non-stop, all day. Now,
for as much time as I’ve spent watchin’ them eating. I have never ever seen a single one take a crap, but I have
faith
they do
.
Now, are you gonna tell me that my faith is wrong, that they don’t poop?”
     The whole class just stared at me.
     “Miss. Singer, I don’t have time for this.” Mr. McLaren then said before moving on with his lecture and not bothering to call on me for the rest of the class.
 

*****
 

Fifth period eventually rolled around, and I found myself back in the cafeteria—the leper sitting by herself—hunkered down at my table in the far corner of the room.
     The three bitches were with their meathead boyfriends at their table halfway across the room from me, but I could still feel their icy stares. I also had felt like they were up to something, or something was about to happen at least. It wasn’t just from the sneers and dirty looks they were continually giving me. It was just a strange feeling I had. An intuition that something important was about to happen. An omen.
     I had just torn open the wrapper of a granola bar and started munching when; I looked up to notice a girl who had come walking into the cafeteria fashionably late after the bell had already rung. She’d been dressed almost entirely in black except for the few pieces of silver that lined her belt, and the reddish eye shadow she wore a little too thick. Her hair was of a light auburn and her skin was flawless albeit somewhat pale. As she made her way across the room, she seemed to float in her stride like she rode on a cloud-of-confidence that kept her above everyone else. Now, I’m not a vagitarian, but... I’d have to say that when I saw this girl come swaggering into the cafeteria like she owned the place. I thought instantly that she had a bad-ass cool about her and a beauty that pulled attention to her like a magnet. She was what my step daddy would have called
the real McCoy,
only in a dark, edgy way. Not in a fake, superficial Keri Mahan way.
     The bitches took notice of her right away and stared her down as she had entered the room.
     Donnie Reese then yelled out, “FREAK!” as she walked past their table.
     She stopped after he had said it, and just stood there staring back at him. Her eyes piercing him like daggers. Donnie suddenly looked uncomfortable with her attention focused on him. So he scornfully yelled, “WHAT?” at her.
     The girl then calmly walked right up to his table, and I thought I saw Donnie squirm a little in his seat as she approached him. She then came in close exuding a courage I had never seen before in anybody except maybe my Step Daddy Cade after he was good and liquored up. I was on the very edge of my seat. Full of anticipation of whatever it was she was about to do next. She then leaned in on their table bracing herself on her outstretched arms. She stared at Donnie dead-in-the-face as if she were a wild animal encroaching in on his turf and ready to attack.
     “Get out of here.” Hallie snipped at her.
     “Shut the Hell up. You little bitch!” The Goth girl fired back with a look of pure animosity. Hallie did as she been told.
     “What did you say to me?” She then asked Donnie. But before he could sum up the courage to reply, Erik Myers stepped in saying, “The witches table is over there.” Pointing in my direction. The Goth girl then looked over at me, and I quickly averted my gaze pretending that I wasn’t paying any attention as to what was going on in her neck of the woods.
“So why don’t you get the fuck out of here and go sit with your own kind?”
Erik barked.
     I heard the girl say something in a language I couldn’t understand. But from the sounds she made and from her body language. It looked
,
as if, she was cursing him. Then, she
spat
right in his face.
     Everyone at the bitches table reeled back when she did it. Erik shot straight up from his seat.
     “You fuckin’ WHORE!” he angrily shouted at the girl as he wiped the spittle from his face. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.”
     The Goth girl then stepped back away from the table and gave Erik the finger. He then went for her.
     “Mr. Myers!” a man’s voice rang out from somewhere else in the cafeteria. “Do we have a problem here, Mr. Myers?”
     It was one of the cafeteria monitors. A teacher who had sat at the head of the room. I didn’t know his name just then, but later I would find out he was Mr. Shaller a freshman English teacher.
     “This bitch just spit in my face!” Erik groaned disdainfully. While he continued to wipe his cheek that was now quickly turning red with embarrassment.
     “Yeah, and the witch put some of her voodoo on us too.” Keri then added.
     “I wasn’t talking to you, Keri. So, I would appreciate it if you just kept it zipped.” Mr. Shaller then said giving Keri a dour look. He then asked, “Is that true Katelyn… Did you spit on Erik?”
     The Goth girl—Katelyn—said nothing. She just wore a mischievous smirk that curled up from around her pursed lips. Her black lipstick giving her a sense of portentousness.
     “Right this way, Katelyn.” Mr. Shaller then said, gesturing to her with one of his fingers. They both began to walk out of the cafeteria together. Katelyn a few feet in front of him.
     I had assumed that she was on her way to the principal’s office. But as she walked in front of Mr. Shaller on her way out of the cafeteria. She turned to look back over her shoulder at me. She then giggled and gave me a small smile, and I couldn’t help myself but to laugh a little and smile right back at her.
     After that, Erik, Donnie, Harlin, and the bitches pretty much kept to themselves until the period ended. I also had managed to lie low until the day was over. Then, I disappeared from the school’s grounds as soon as the last bell had rung.
     On my walk back home, I was quickly joined by two strays. They were both a little on the smaller side. One an olive-brown. The other a smoky grey. They kept pace with me as I walked, and I played with them by waving around a small tree branch that still had a few leaves attached to it. I had found it lying on the side of the road and thought it would make a good toy. As I waived the limb back-and-forth through the air. It would cause the cat’s natural instincts to kick in. They would then try to pounce on the branch’s leaves as if it were a mouse.
     After arriving home. I went in through the back, leaving the cats out on the deck waiting for me patiently as I slipped into the kitchen to get a saucer of milk for them. When I had returned I placed the saucer down on the deck watching the cats take to it right away. While they were busy lapping up the milk. I used the opportunity to go back in the kitchen to look for some more of those cans of tuna that I’d found tucked away in one of the kitchen cupboards, but I couldn’t find any this time. So, I had mentioned to my mama—who was sitting at the kitchen table and appeared as if going through the newspaper—that we should pick up a bag of cat food for all the strays we had coming around the house. She said to me that she would, but she didn’t think it would be such a good idea to encourage the cats to be hanging around. That their presence would only piss off my step daddy to high heavens, having our property be turned into a cats den. I then thought to myself,
The hell with Step Daddy Cade. I like the cats.
So, I made up my mind right then and there that the next time I made it into the village I would buy a bag of food, or cans, or
whatever
the hell cat food came in. Leaving it tucked away in one of the cabinets in the garage where Step Daddy Cade would never find it.
     “
Oh, dear!”
I then heard my mama suddenly exclaim while sucking in a breath.
     “What?” I asked.
     “Oh, I was just having a look at this week’s copy of
the Village Bee
that I’d picked up from one of those newsstands out front of the supermarket. And, it says here that a family who lives over on Quaker Street, which is only a few blocks away from here, was involved in a bad car accident during last night’s storm. Four kids, three boys ages twelve, nine, and seven, and a little girl age four, were all killed in the accident on Allegany Road. The mother, Linda Mathers, was the only survivor. It says that she’d been rushed to Saint Christopher’s Hospital with a head injury and a few broken bones but is expected to survive.”
     My mama, then put down the paper and looked at me plaintively. As if I somehow had a way of ameliorating what had happened.
   I didn’t know what to say to her so I just said the only thing that popped into my mind, “That sucks.” to which she then said to me, “
Cera, that’s terrible.”
at my sounding so callous. I truly hadn’t meant to sound like I didn’t care. I just didn’t know what to say about it. But not wanting to take our conversation any further I then just elected to leave the kitchen.
     So, I went into the living room (After having forgotten about the cats out on the deck.) and had just settled down on the couch in front of the television. Where I began flipping through the channels with the clicker. When out of the blue. I began to hear a low rumble coming from somewhere outside. At first, I paid it no mind. Thinking it was just a large truck going down the road. But after a while it began to grow louder and louder as it neared. Curious, I got my butt up off the sofa and went over to the nearest window to take a peek. I had looked out just in time to see my Step Daddy Cade pulling up our curvy driveway in a brand new pickup.
    
Jesus Right Christ on a popsicle stick, that thing is freakin’ huge,
I thought as it came to a stop just before the garage.
     It
was
huge. The biggest on the market. A brand-new Ford F-350 diesel with the dual rear tires. Its shimmering blue paint was the color of the Gulf and its enormous chrome bumper and grill shined in the glaring sunlight blinding my eyes.
     I left the window and ran outside to take a closer look.
     “How-do-ya like my new ride?” Step Daddy Cade asked when he saw me come out of the house.
     Truthfully, I had never, had I ever, seen something so
kick-ass. (In a good way. Not in a Keri Mahan like way.) “It’s awesome!” I told him as I opened up the driver’s side door hopping up into the cab. “Can I take it for a ride?” I asked. To which, of course, my Step Daddy Cade replied, “No... But, I can take you for a ride if you want? Besides, you still don’t have your driver’s license yet.”
     “Well, how can I get one if
you
and mama don’t ever let me drive anywhere?” I pouted.
     “I said I’ll take ya drivin’. Just not in this, okay. I’ll teach ya in the Pontiac. It’ll be good that ya learn with somethin’ smaller anyways. Figurin’ it will probably be yours now.”
    
WHAT?
I thought. The fucking Pontiac will be mine! You get an F-350 and I get the Family Truckster. Not even the Trans Am that I’d been promised. Boy, if my parents thought that I might be having a hard time making new friends now... Well, wait until everyone at school sees me pulling up in the pea-green eyesore.
     “I’m
not
getting the Truckster.” I told him inexorably.
     My step daddy then knowing full well that I would dig-in-my-heals tried to mollify me by saying, “Yeah, well... We’ll see what we can get for it on a trade-in after you get your license then, okay?”  He then lit up a cigarette, and began grinning at me like a fool.
     “
Fine,”
I said, still talking through my clenched teeth. I then got down out of the cab reluctantly.
     The very next morning. I had walked to school accompanied by the black cat that I had affectingly started calling
Midnight
. (She was the one that had eaten the can of tuna on my back porch. And she was also the one that had followed me through the forest after I had met Savannah.)
   When we had reached the school grounds, Midnight circled around me purring up against my legs so I bent down to pick her up. As I nestled her soft fur against my face. I gave her a snuggling hug and wished silently to myself that I could spend the rest of the day with her. Instead of dealing with the bitches and Mr. McLaren’s gay ass.
     Then, after spending more time than I should have holding the feline before the school’s front steps. I’d figured that maybe tomorrow. I would try an experiment to see how the school operated with its attendance policy.
     My plan was simple really. I was going to play hooky and then see if the school called my home or would send a letter in the mail notifying my parents of my absence.
    The way my plan worked was I would hang out down the road for a little while making myself purposely late for school by missing homeroom. Then, I would conveniently show back up at home telling my mama that I had forgotten something. Later on when the school would most likely contact my mama about my absence because attendance seemed taken during homeroom. I would then tell her that they’d only called because I was late for homeroom after having stopped back at home to retrieve the item I’d forgotten. And that the homeroom teacher had already turned in the attendance sheet by the time I’d made it back to school.
    I had figured my plan should work well enough to buy me at least one day off from school, and at the very least allow me to find out how they operated attendance. Which could then buy me a few more days off as the semester progressed, but only if I played my cards right. But for now, it was off to Hell I went.
     Inside, I had made it through Mr. McLaren’s exciting world of physics without being called on to answer any questions and with only limited dirty looks from Keri Mahan. But what was distressing was, when I had taken my usual seat near the window. The kids in the class that had sat near me the last couple of days didn’t seem to want to be around me anymore. Revealed by the unoccupied seats that surrounded me. For the past two days I had been under the impression that it was just going to be Keri in physics class that treated me like I was some kind of backwoods serial killer. But today, it had seemed like everyone in the room had taken their cues from her and collectively all of them seemed to give me the cold shoulder