In the Life (10 page)

"Now you know that all of that is untrue."

"Do I? How do I know?" Morris didn't respond. He just looked at me helplessly. He knew that he had hurt me in the past. And I knew that he was sorry, but somehow, that provided little solace for me.

"You didn't come to Jay‘s birthday party," Morris said trying to get the focus off of him. "Where were you at?"

"I hadn't felt well. I stayed in bed all day."

"And what bed was that because I know it wasn't this one. Are you seeing someone else? Is that what this is all about?"

"No, I am not and this is about you and your actions!" Okay, so I kind of lied, but I couldn't
tell him about Breion. Plus, we were just kicking it.

"Then where you been at?"

"I don't need this." I turned away and walked out the room with my box in my arms. I did not want to stay for this. Not only had I not planned on seeing him today, I did not like lying to him about who has been occupying my time.

I had made it all the way downstairs and to the front door when I heard Morris call out my name. I looked back to see tears running down his face.

"Baby, come on. I love you. And you are right. I have been thinking a lot about what I want and need. But babe, I know that you need me as much as I need you. I was made to love you. I am supposed to be the one in your heart. All of this attention and fame that I am getting means nothing if you are not here to share it with me."

By now, I too was crying. Morris gently wiped some of the tears away. I let him touch me, at first, but then I backed away. I put the box down and wiped my own face. He stepped closer to me and took hold of one of my hands. He pulled me to his body as he kissed me. That kiss was the sweetest thing that I had ever known. My body let go off all tension and I collapsed into his arms. I had missed this. We broke from the kiss and he led me back to the bedroom.

I laid on the bed and he got on top of me. He kissed my neck and let his tongue tease my hot spots. My hands glided down his body and went down to his ass. I squeezed it as Morris made me moan with his foreplay. He then undressed me. I tried to take some of his clothes off too, but he would not let me. Morris discarded his shirt, but kept the rest of his stuff on. I almost came when I felt the warmth of his mouth on my dick. After a while, the pleasure I was receiving become so intense that I laid my head back and kept my eyes shut. I felt my climax coming and tried to warn Morris, but he didn't budge. He wanted to be submissive to me and focus on me getting as much pleasure as I could take.

Chapter 19

For the next week, I went everywhere that Morris did and vice versa. It seemed like we couldn't even go to the bathroom without the other one at least standing outside the door or inside watching. I could tell that Morris missed me as much as I had missed him. He knew what he had done wrong and now we could move on. Everything was great. I couldn't help but smile all the time. My man was back home where he should be.

I must have been off in lala land or something because Breion shook me to get my attention. I had agreed to
come watch a movie while Morris had went out with Jay and Brent.

"Are you there, sir?"

"Oh my bad. What's up?" Breion looked at me funny and then just shook it off. He went into the kitchen to get something for us to drink. Meanwhile, my phone started to ring.

"Hey you," I said into the phone as I picked it up.

"What is my baby doing?"

"Just at a friend's house about to watch some movie, but I don't think I am the best company though. I just wanna be chilling with you."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah," I said softly. Okay, first off, let me say that yes I was acting like a little love sick bitch, but what can I say. Love can do that to you.

"Well, you know I can cut this shit short over here. I can be home in like a half hour."

"Boy, yall gone to that club. You need your time with your boys. I know they have missed spending time with you too. I can't be selfish and take all your time."

"You know you my baby, right?" I was cheesing so hard. Breion came back in the room and looked at me oddly. I could hear Brent and Jay in the background over the phone. I knew that they were probably ready for him to get off the call.

"Yeah, I know. I love you."

"I love you too. I will see you at home."

"Okay, bye baby." I hung up the phone still smiling. Breion passed me my glass without saying a word. He inched over to the other side of the couch and started the movie. We started watching Talledega Nights which I thought was hilarious, but Breion had not laughed once. He didn't even look like he was into the movie. I reached over and grabbed the remote control and put the flick on pause.

"What is wrong with you? You have been acting funny ever since I got here."

"I can't believe you asking me that shit, Tre." I sat still clueless.

"What?"

"You just got finished cupcaking over the phone with that no good nigga AGAIN! You spending all this time with that bitch and not giving me the time of day."

"What are you talking about? Breion, you always knew that I was with him. It never bothered you before so why are you acting like this?"

"It always bothered me, Tre!" Breion said as he stood to his feet. "It always fucking bothered me, but I thought that you would see that I was the one for you and not him. I fucking love your ass. I would rather have a part of you than nothing at all, but I can't do this shit. My heart won't take this abuse. For all these months, I have tried to deal with you
talking about him all the damn time and even calling him when you are hugged up with me. I have even tried my damnedest not to dog him. But I can't do this shit, baby. I can't!"

"What are you trying to say to me?"

"Are you not… oh my God." Breion let out a loud audible gasp and started to pace the room. "You know what… I give up. I fucking give up."

"Okay," I said unsure of what else to say. "Maybe I should just leave. I will talk to you later." I grabbed my coat and started to head for the door.

"And you just gonna leave like that?" I whipped back around to face him.

"What the fuck do you want from me, Breion? You knew the deal and…"

"Do you love me?"

"Huh? What are…"

"Do you fucking love me? Answer the damn question!”

"Yes," I said without hesitation. I didn't want to say it, but that was the truth. Breion walked over to me and kissed me passionately.

"That's all I needed to hear," he said as he broke away.

"Please, don't make me choose," I pleaded more for his sake than mine.

"I know. I know. But you will be mine. You just know that." I knew I had to leave after that otherwise I would have followed Breion back to his bedroom.

Chapter 20

"I don't understand what his problem is." I looked around the pool table for my next shot. Curtis was out playing pool and shooting the breeze. I looked up to him and he was taking a sip from his beer. He almost looked like he wasn't paying attention to me. "I mean, okay, I admit that me and Breion had something going on, but he knew about Morris. I never hid that from him. Hell, he knew I was with Morris when he first met me. I mean, come on now! Curtis, can you believe him?"

I finally took my shot and missed my target, the five ball. I looked back at Curtis and he just stood there still with his beer. I repeated my last question.

"Curtis, I said can you believe him?"

"Very much so." I was taken aback by Curtis' answer. He continued speaking as he surveyed the table. "I have been telling you like forever that you have been playing a fool's game. I have been telling you that you got to pick one of them, but you didn't listen. You always say that you can handle it, but you never thought about if Breion could. Sure, Mr. Neo Soul man has acted like he was all understanding and cool with the situation, but you and I both knew he wasn't. And don't lie and say that you had no idea. He treated you like gold." Curtis took his shot and made it.

"But I really didn't know!"

"Now, give me a break, Tre." Curtis stood at attention and looked at me. "Has he been seeing anyone besides you?" I shook my head. "Okay, and when you talk about Morris to him, does he ever encourage your relationship?"

"He listens to me…"

"Yeah, but does he even ask about how things are going between the two of you?" I shook my head again. "That nigga loves you and wants to be with you."

"But he knew that was not going to happen."

"Did he really? I mean, you and Morris kept going on this up and down rollercoaster. Sometimes, I even doubted that yall would even get back together. And then you are always curled up under Breion when Morris isn't there and sometimes even when he is. You even told him that you loved him more than once. You never had to wonder how he felt about you. Hell, he treats you better than Morris does."

"So what are you trying to say?"

"I am trying to say that I have always thought that Breion was the one for you and not Morris. I love Morris dearly like a big brother, you know that, but I think that when all is said and done, Breion is your Mr Right."

I thought about what Curtis said for a moment, but quickly dismissed it from my mind. I loved Morris! Well, I loved Breion too, but it wasn't the same. Morris and I are so perfect together and I loved being with him. But what Curtis said about Breion was true too… Oh, this was beginning to make my head hurt!

"So have you talked to Breion today?" Curtis made another lucky shot.

"Umm, he left me a voice message earlier and said that he loved me. He said he would still be there for me." Curtis gave me a look. You know the one that says "I told you so".

"Plan on giving the brother a call back?"

"I don't know. Probably. Later on tonight, I guess."

"Well, don't wait too long. Men like Breion don't wait for long."

"And who said that I wanted Breion to wait. I got Morris, remember? I know where I need to be." Curtis chuckled as he lined up for his next shot.

"If you say so." Curtis gave me a knowing smile. "Now, let’s see what we have here. Eight ball, corner pocket." I had been so wrapped up in the conversation that I hadn't seen that Curtis had been kicking my ass. He hit the eight ball with ease. "I win which means that you are buying the next round of drinks."

Chapter 21

I cursed my radio alarm as I heard it go off one Saturday morning. Normally, it wakes me up for work, but it was the weekend. I looked over to my right and saw that Morris gone. I looked back over to the clock and saw it was 7 am.

"The gym," I mumbled to myself as I realized where he must be. He loves to go early before all of his favorite machines and equipment was taken. If I had to wake up this early, however, I would have loved it to be because of an early morning quickie. I wished he had been there. Maybe feeling the warmth of his body against mine would have lulled me back to sleep.

The next song that came on the radio was one that I was very familiar with. It wasn't until after I had song almost the whole song that I realized that it was Breion. I had been singing the song that he had recorded in California when I was out there to see Morris. I smiled as I thought about that day. I had seen a hit be born. It had gone to #3 on the R&B/ Hip Hop Singles chart and #15 on the Hot 100. It had become his biggest single to date. It even garnered him a Grammy nomination, his first.

I grabbed the phone to give him a call. I hadn't called him back the night before when I had played pool with Curtis. After hanging out, I went home to my man and we did… grown up things.

Breion picked up on the second ring. I could tell he was in the car from the background noise. I could hear him turn the radio down before speaking.

"Hey babe."

"What's going on? I heard your song, or should I say our song on the radio."

"You know that your inspiration is the reason why I now have a gold record on my wall, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Oh, are we being a little conceited about it?" He joked.

"Naw, just agreeing with the facts." We both laughed. He paused before speaking again.

"Hey, can you do me a favor? A big favor? What are you doing right now?"

"Umm, just got up. Why?"

"I am about to go into the studio with Black Thought."

"Black Thought from the Roots? Oh, that should be really good."

"Well, I hope so, but the favor is that I want you to come in and join us. You always writing stuff in that journal you keep and what not. Maybe some of that can translate into song."

"I don't know."

"Come on. You let me read that story that you had wrote a while back. I know you have a creative mind. You have already inspired me once. This seems like a no brainer. Maybe I will win the Grammy this time."

I gave the idea some thought and decided why not. I told him that I had to get dressed but I would be there soon. I promised to meet him at the studio in an hour.

Our collaboration in the studio that day turned into multiple sessions. Before you know it, we had done five songs together. I absolutely loved them all. It was great to have this creative outlet too. I mean, it is one thing to write stories and what not for them only to be read by close friends, but this might be heard by millions of people! It could be huge!

Whenever I would go to the studio, I would have to lie to Morris about where I was going. I know that I would have to tell him eventually, especially if these songs make Breion's album, but I didn't want to do it then. I mean, I would have to tell Morris that since going to California, I have kept in touch with Breion. Hell, I am not even sure if he knew that I knew Breion. Even if I left out our sexual relationship, he would assume something was up with us. Wouldn't you find it suspicious if your boyfriend kept his friendship with a R&B soul man a secret? Things are going too good for us to complicate things. I would explain everything… in time.

Chapter 22

"So what about if I tell him that you hooked up with him?" I was outside the studio trying to brainstorm over the phone with Curtis. I had to find an answer to this Breion issue. And by Breion issue, I mean the one in which I tell Morris that I know him well enough to be a songwriter on his album.

"How is that lie gonna work? Morris will then say something to Jay about it and get me in trouble. Plus, Jay knows who I talk to and Breion Grey is not one of those people."

"Shit," I exclaimed. It had taken me all night to think of that one. My mind tried to quickly think of another excuse.

"How about I entered a songwriting contest and…"

"Tre," Curtis said cutting me off. Obviously, he knew that the excuse I was brewing up in my head was lame at best. "Just tell him the truth… or at least some of it. Yall became cool on the set and exchanged numbers. Why lie more than you have to? You are already going to hell for the ones that you have already told."

"Ha ha. Funny, but no. I can think of something." I looked at the time on my brand new watch that Morris had bought me. Breion and the producer were probably wondering where I was at. "Yo Cee, I gotta go and be musical. I will call you when we are done here."

"Alright, but before you go, here is a song idea. What about one about a cheating boyfriend who is playing games with decent folk’s hearts, huh? Yeah? What about that for a melody?" I rolled my eyes and let out a loud sigh. This Negro!

"Look, like I said, I will call you later. Bye." I hung up the phone without waiting for a response.

I walked back into the building and started going through the maze of hallways to get back to Breion. On my way, someone bumped into me coming out of a restroom.

"Oh my bad," the guy said as he regained his posture. I looked over at him and he was so thuggishly handsome. He was a dark skinned brotha standing at like 6'3, very muscular, cornrows freshly braided in a complex design, a thin beard shaping around full juicy lips, and a goatee that looked like he had been growing it out. When he opened his mouth to speak again, I was expecting to see grills, but instead I saw exquisitely perfect white teeth. He definitely had that Colgate smile.

"Yo son, that was my bad. You cool?"

"Yeah, I am good. It wasn't a problem. Thanks." The dude started smiling and I got weak a little.

"Son, you must not be from around these here parts." He said while laughing and imitating a southern accent. Obviously, he had picked up mine.

"You right about that one, but you are so wrong for trying to talk like me." I already knew he must have been a New York dude. He had that whole vibe about him.

"Well, what are you doing here, Lil' Whoadie?" Oh, he got jokes!

"In the studio, writing for my boy Breion's album. I am Tre, by the way." I extended my hand to him.

"Cool, cool. Breion got that truth to his music. Aight. Well, I am Kareem, but the whole world will soon know me by Xcell." His name rang a bell in my mind.

"Wait, Xcell? Weren't you rapping on that T-Pain song? That was my jam!"

"Yeah," he admitted. I have done a couple guest spots and a lot of mix tapes, but I am here recording my album trying to be legit on my own, ya heard?" I nodded my understanding and then he began to smile brightly.

"What?"

"How about I steal Breion's secret weapon for a minute. He got enough heat." He ushered me to his studio room where I saw the infamous Nari Parker behind the boards. He had produced hits for everybody and their mamas. I knew that Xcell's record label was definitely investing some money in him to get Nari.

"Yo Nari, I found us somebody to help us on them choruses. This is Tre." Nari got up to greet me and I damn near began to drool on myself. In all the pictures I had seen of Nari, I had always commented on how creamy and perfect that his caramel skin looked, but in person, I could see that it was positively flawless. There was no airbrushing with those pictures.

"What's good, yo," he said casually in his deep baritone voice. I meekly said hey back. They began to play the track over and it was so fucking hot! It was unlike anything I had ever heard before. It had ‘hit' written all over it. I started to vibe with them on the choruses. As the track played in the background, I sang some words that were coming to me.

"
I don't wanna be, never ever gonna be, never ever gonna be caught, caught, caught up in your game. I am so tired of you and all the things you do. Cause it will get you caught, caught, caught up in your game
," I sang. Both Xcell and Nari looked at me strangely. I began to feel insecure about my lyrics. I looked back at them with large, apologetic eyes.

"It was the first thing that came to my mind," I tried to explain. Nari began to shake his head.

"No… do that again, yo." I sang it again while trying to remember my exact words. Both of them started to smile at the end.

"Yo, you can sing!" Xcell said excitedly. I shook my head with the quickness.

“I mean, I sang in my college choir, but I am no singer.”

"No, you really can, son." Nari looked at me and then back at the recording booth. "How bout you do that again, but this time on record. We
can write out a vamp for you to do afterwards. This shit is gonna be hot!"

As much as I tried to protest, I finally got convinced in doing it. I got the chorus recorded after a half an hour of singing it over and over trying to get the best take. Singing in the booth in front of Nari and Xcell didn’t come easy for me at all. I was more nervous than Flavor Flav at a dentist’s office! I didn’t think I could do it. But after we did the vamp and I laid down a couple of adlibs, Nari and Xcell seemed real pleased.

Nari got all my information and set up a meeting of some kind for the following week. He wouldn't tell me what the meeting was going to be about, but he assured me that it would be life changing.

Chapter 23

"You okay?" I asked Morris before we went inside to Xcell's album release party.

He had been acting a bit off the whole day and I don't know why. It couldn't be because of the whole Breion thing. We had been discussed that. Of course, I left out certain incriminating details. I had no choice when Nari came into the mix of things. I agreed to record a few songs with him. Maybe I could shop the tracks out to other artists. I had no desire to become the next Usher or Chris Brown. I was fine being the one behind the scenes. However, it had not stopped Nari from pushing me to do more.

I looked back at Morris and he forced a smile on his face. He kissed me once no one was looking and his smile became more genuine.

"I am ready, baby. This is your night."

Once we entered, I could hear the song I recorded with Xcell playing. ‘Caught Up' had been released as his first single and it was steadily climbing up the charts. I just knew it would crack the Hot 100 top ten any week now. It had been number 15 for the past two weeks. It was number 3 on the R&B charts and number 2 on the Rap chart. I am very happy about the success of the single. Even the accompanying video was doing well. People were beginning to recognize me on the street which both excited and scared me at the same time.

The first face that I recognized once entering was Nari's. He came up to me with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey superstar!"

"What's good, dude?" I said as his arms wrapped around me for a hug.

"Everything is good now that you are here. People have been asking me where you were. Some really good people want to meet you."

"For real?"